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goodbye (profile) wrote,
on 8-2-2018 at 12:14am
Having an anxiety attack... I was thinking I should probably tell someone. Maybe get in-touch with my counselor or tell him or her or her... But I don't want to freak anyone out, or bother anyone. I'm not really sure what to say anyways.

I feel 100% overwhelmed by life right now. I'm doing 'nothing' but the stress of the decisions and the moves I need to make ahead of me are completely immobilizing. I am anxious because I seriously feel my depression coming on again. I want to tell him but he always says he has so much he has to do and I don't want to make his life harder. I also feel like he judges me. He doesn't know why I can't just be happy. Let's see...

I have no money.
I live at home with people who are constantly judging me.
I need a job but I can't find one nor do I really want to work but I need to.
I need to make a career choice that could influence the rest of my life and I don't know what I want to do and I don't know what the best decision is.
I feel like he doesn't really love me because he is so focused on his own life and doesn't care about being part of mine really.
Friends aren't really invested anymore. They don't ever contact me

My depression comes in cycles where I feel wonderful and then just don't. I feel like I'm going a little off the rails. I don't know how to handle it anymore. I feel like I'm going insane.
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anonymoose

08-02-18 4:44pm

chin up

ily

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koalalady

08-02-18 9:38pm

I remember you said you were considering going into teaching as a career. It sounded like you were pretty into the idea. What happened with that? Not judging, just curious if anything got in your way.

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goodbye

Re: , 08-03-18 6:43pm

It's one of the many options. I've found alot of barriers to it, however. I have a few friends who are teachers who do not recommend becoming teachers. There are lots of jobs available but they don't pay enough to live off of most of the time. I'm not sure I have the patience for it either. I'd like to volunteer for a school before I go straight into it. Also, I need to pass an exam to get into a teaching master's program - something I'll need to study up for as most of the substance of the test is based off of useless info I learned 15 or so years ago.

But I am definitely still thinking about it because it has it's good points. Good hours. It's meaningful to an extent. I like children.

Again, I'm still not sure. Other options include technical writing, grant writing, and human resources management.

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koalalady

Re: Re: , 08-04-18 9:03am

At the risk of being a cliché and offering unwanted advice, here are a couple of resources that helped me a couple years ago when I felt lost, overwhelmed by the pressure to choose a career option, and generally pissed off about the meaninglessness of life:

https://markmanson.net/life-purpose

Milk the Pigeon by Alexander Heyne - This guy has a regular website that offers some good resources (www.milkthepigeon.com). It's down right now for maintenance it looks like, but worth checking out if you really feel like you're at the end of your rope with figuring out what you want to do with your time/life.

There are no perfect answers. Good luck.

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