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goodbye (profile) wrote,
on 4-7-2020 at 10:32am
I need to get out in nature. I need to get writing again. I've been doing my best to ignore how I am feeling so I don't get weepy every few minutes. Julius was a good person who did some shitty things. I feel like I knew the real him but just wasn't entirely engaged for protective reasons. I greatly regret this. My overwhelming feelings of regret are infecting every facet of my life. I don't know how to let go of this overwhelming grief. My counselor thinks that writing him a letter would be the most beneficial for me to get all of this negativity out of me and into the universe. I feel like being cooped up inside is one thing truly hindering my healing.

I am lucky to still have a job. I am lucky to still have a place to live. I am lucky to not be sick. I am lucky that my loved ones aren't sick. I need to be grateful for my opportunities. I need to be thankful for all that I have.

...But I wish I still had him here to tell him that I love him and want to be in his life.
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godessalthena

04-08-20 12:07pm

what happened to Julius?

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goodbye

Re: , 04-09-20 4:51pm

He died.

On the 18th or 19th he fell down the stairs. Catastrophic brain injury. His body was still alive but he was not conscious. They cut off his life support on the 22nd after harvesting some of his organs.

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goodbye

Re: Re: , 04-10-20 2:20am

I say that really casually. But it is so fucking hard.

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godessalthena

Re: Re: Re: , 04-18-20 11:19pm

yeah, it's very hard to lose someone you love, especially when you feel like there was something you could have done to help them. hugs

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