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:: 2008 17 August :: 8.27 pm

Why do people think they don't have to be responsible for their own kids? Why do people think they dobt have to be responsible for themselves? Why do people think you are being rude or asking too much when you are just simply asking them to follow the rules of YOUR house? Its my apartment you are a freaking guest.. If I should even call you that.. In MY HOUSE! Sorry but that means you follow my rules or you can fucking leave. Just because you think you are some tough guy gangster whatever doesn't mean you don't have to answer someone when they tell you to take care of the mess you made! And no! Im not gonna fucking watch your daughter for you! Get a job! Maybe then you can pay me to do it! But until then I won't watch your daughter when you have nothing better to do but drink.

Ughghghghhgghgh people are so stupid.

1 ::..So what? | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 11 August :: 12.05 am


Dru mk andgetti ng fired tomoorrow.yay........... fuck eveyr one of u I hate u all the only ones who matter are the oines upwhio can.put up with ot u dotnt even knoew dpoi its hot a d fukc on hre and I fu@k ng love danilelle but that's ptertty mucb it cuz idf u cxant outnup with. Ot. Then.o, .ficoignmg done

Dtimefoe.a shot.of 5 O

3 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 7 August :: 11.02 am

Ugugugugh please someone save me I need a new job so badly. Ireally cannot take it. Im going insane

1 ::..So what? | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 3 August :: 1.18 am

Yay I got it done! I feel l ike a badass haha. I was so scared but it doesn't hurt at all. I don't like the way it looks righht now cuz they had to use a 14 gage and a big ol ugly silver ball right now but in a wk and a half I am going to have the guy put a small cute diamond one in it. I am so excited and glad I did it. Now if only my parents won't hate me everything will be good!


:: 2008 2 August :: 7.32 pm

So I've been wanting to do this for a long time. Going back and forth between a tattoo and piercing. Well im getting a piercing for many reasons
1. You can remove them so if I don't like it I don't have to worry about it.
2. I love jewelry and accessories. Anyone who knows me well knows this. I never go a day w.out earrings of some sort. I think accessories complete every look.
3. Im feeling rebelious and I need to do somethibng to satisfy that.
4. I think this specific piercing is cute and hopefully will look ok on me!
5. I need something different

So that's that its settled, im getting a "monroe" piercing. Hooray. Tonight after I get out of this shithole. Aka work.

My grandma is never going to speak to me again tho.... :0(
Forgive me!

2 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 26 July :: 12.17 pm

My mind is blank now. Every part of my body is sinking and empty. I don't have to think about anything, hear anything, say anything, feel anything, worry about anything.
...there are no job interviews, no hypocrites. I do not have to... socialize. I do not have to smile. I do not have to justify my beliefs. I don't have to wear dress shoes. I don't have to pledge allegiance to the flag. I don't have to use a number two pencil. I don't have to read the fine print. is true that it is nonproductive. But when ninety-five percent of out-of-bed activities hold the possibility of pain, to be pain-free is simply the most delicious feeling in the world.

-not mine


:: 2008 20 July :: 10.18 am

Im at work AGAIN I seriously hate it here. I am applying somewhere else tomorrow.

I can't tak eit here. It is soooo boring and they treat their employees and clients like crap. They are truley a horrible company and I can't wait to get out of it.

Other than that I am just really confused bc there is only one thing im sure of in my life and the rest I don't know what to do with.


:: 2008 16 July :: 7.32 am

I am not married yet. Just so everyone knows.

I want to find a new job soooo bad. I hate it here. I've only been here for 45 mins so far today, haven't seen another soul since we are always so slow, and it seems like I've been here for hours. It may seem like an ok job since I am able to sit here and use my phone to write on woohu but believe me- I would rather have any more stimulating job. Time goes by so slow. We work alone ughh I hate it here.

But I can't start looking for another job because we are so up in the air about moving to florida.

1 ::..So what? | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 2 July :: 11.35 am

Omg roman and I went to canada last night with some friends and we got hitched!!!! So now im mrs garcia nice ta meetcha. Lol we are still there woo I love canada. The chapel was gorgous and the carriage ride in my cute summer dress and romans tux was romantic. Our priest told us that he just KNEW we would be together forever. We said our vows and got to ride away afyerwards in a beautiful gondala under a small bridge.
Ro got me a 3 carat diamond he amazes me more and more with each day. It took my breath away! So tomorrow we are working out the details to move to hawaii in our friend rob's aunts old house she is letting us rent for 100 a month. Wow. We are getting a loan for the tickets and leaving in 4 days. Yay im gonna be a badass surfer. The house is 2 stories with a basement newly remodeled everything and they are leaving all the furniture so we don't have to worry. Rob is moving into our apt with danielle so they are taking our lease. Everything is working out so perfectly. God musthave answered our prayers. But I guess I do deserve it. I am a really great person and I never lie or act mean. Everyone knows this. I am never decietful and I treat everyone with respect. I also like to compromise and not be bossy ever. Those are probaly just a few reasons why He's preforming his great miracle on us. While we are down there a couple months from now we are joining a missionary group that robs aunt was a part of and traveling to cambodia to build houses and maybe heal a leper or two. Ha Oh not really but who knows. Roman really suprised me with all these plans but I guess I should just learn to expect greatness from the worlds most perfect, selfless, kind, giving, wonderful, beautiful, nurturing, wonderous, magical, whimsical man on THE PLANET EARTH.

Well we are headed to niagra falls then home so I had better go.
Mrs. Garcia-Wilde

17 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 29 June :: 12.51 pm

I don't know why bc I have not always felt this way but lately I am like obsessing about getting a tattoo. I really really want one. I know for sure I would get one if I was skinnier but right now im not sure. Ugh its driving me nuts tho I really think I want one

4 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 29 June :: 10.59 am

Well had to get up at 6 again to drive in the rain to ameeting an hour away in spring lake and now here I am at work. Thank god for my new phone with internet. I ws so tired on the drive there and back I was completly almost sleeping my eyes refuused to stay open. In any other circumstances I would have pilled over and rested but if I miss the meeting I get taken off the schedule for a month and if ii miss work I get fired. Grrrrr.

Today I am just going to take some time for me when I get out of work at 3. Gotta go to the mall to return something and buy some shorts. I still have to work the next 3 days but im gonna try to make the best of today. Lately everything has been sooo stressful I can hardly take it. I might quit the jw ..well no prob not but I might just try to set a schedule with them. Im tired and I just want to enjoy summer and the break from school while I have it and so far I have not been able to do that at all.

1 ::..So what? | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 27 June :: 11.48 pm

I really can't do this anymore I am too tired. I just got out of work at 11pm and now I have to be at my other job at 6:30am tomorrow. I an so exhausted. My last day off was monday and I don't have my next day off until thursday of next wk and even then im not positive ill have that off cuz jw marriott mifht still schedule me that day. I really can't do this. I don't deal well with stress abd then on top of it when I have to deal with how NOTHING Ever gets done around my house unless I doit it makes the stress worse. Im so sick of this shit.

Well guess I better get to sleep I have to get up at 5:40 tomorrow morning ufhghhgghghghhgggggggggg


:: 2008 7 June :: 10.12 pm



i've always hated when people use the phrase "life's not fair" but it's so fucking true.

gAWD. don't even fucking test me because one day i'm gonna blow up.


:: 2008 26 May :: 5.19 pm

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, finally out of words <3


:: 2008 13 May :: 1.30 pm


i need a new job.

and i need to figure out so much and i just want to sublease our apartment and have money and be rich and not worry about stupid shit anymoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fuck. i hate the stupid tanning place midnite sun and cruise can go fuck itself they are seriously the worst company ever they dont care about their employees, customers, or even have any morals. all they care about is money so don't tan there anyone ever okay??? seriously, don't. you arej ust fueling their stupid money hungry owners and managers. fuck i hate my job.

i think we are going to elope. PEACE.

1 ::..So what? | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 4 May :: 4.59 pm

Sublease Agreement

This Sublease Agreement (the "Sublease") is made and effective [Date], by and between [Sublessor] ("Sublessor"), and [Subtenant] ("Subtenant", whether one or more).

Sublessor is the tenant in a lease agreement dated [Master Lease Date] with [Landlord's Name] for a term ending [Lease Term End Date] (the "Master Lease"). A copy of the Master Lease is attached hereto and incorporated herein by this reference. The property leased to Sublessor in the Master Lease is referred to as the "Leased Property".

Sublessor now desires to sublease the Leased Property to Subtenant, and Subtenant desires to acquire the sublease.

NOW, THEREFORE, for value received by each of the parties hereto, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby respectively acknowledged, and in consideration of the mutual agreements of the parties, it is agreed:

1. Sublease.

A. Sublessor agrees to sublease the Leased Property as follows:

Sublease Term: [Term of Lease]

Monthly Sublease Rent: [Monthly Rent Paid by Subtenant]

B. Subtenant shall pay the rent to Sublessor not later than the [Rent Due Date] day of each month. Rent payments shall be made to the address for Sublessor below or such other address that Sublessor may identify to Subtenant from time to time. Subtenant shall also pay to Sublessor any other amount or charge that Sublessor is obligated to pay under the Master Lease that arises or is attributable to Subtenant's occupancy such as, but not limited to, charges for garbage, water, sewer, utilities, common area expenses, maintenance and refuse removal. Such charges shall be paid within ten days of Sublessor's statement. Subtenant shall be responsible for procuring and paying for any utilities or services not provided by landlord pursuant to the Master Lease.

C. In the event there is more than one Subtenant party, then the obligations of each such Subtenant shall be joint and several.

[Use of Furniture]

2. Obligations Under Master Lease.

Subtenant agrees to comply with the terms of the Master Lease and shall not do or permit to be done anything that would constitute a breach or default of Sublessor's obligations in the Master Lease. Sublessor agrees to comply with all of Sublessor's obligations in the Master Lease. Sublessor agrees timely to pay rent and other charges due under the Master Lease and, provided Subtenant is not in breach or default of any obligation in this Sublease, shall not do anything to disturb Subtenant's use of the Leased Property pursuant to this Sublease.

3. Indemnification.

A. Subtenant will indemnify, protect, defend and hold Sublessor harmless from and against any and all loss, cost, damage and expense arising out of or in any way related to a breach or default of Sublessor's obligations in the Master Lease by Subtenant.

B. Sublessor will indemnify, protect, defend and hold Subtenant harmless from and against any and all loss, cost, damage and expense arising out of or in any way related to a breach or default of the Master Lease by Sublessor.

3. No Assignment or Sublease.

Subtenant shall not, without the prior written consent of both Sublessor and the landlord in the Master Lease, assign this Sublease or sublet the Leased Property or any part thereof.

4. Notices.

Any notice given in connection with this Agreement, shall be in writing and shall be given to the appropriate party by personal delivery or by certified mail, postage prepaid, or recognized overnight delivery service as follows:

If to Sublessor:


[Sublessor Address]

If to Subtenant:


[Subtenant Address]

5. Headings.

Headings used in this Agreement are provided for convenience only and shall not be used to construe meaning or intent.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties hereto have caused this Sublease to be duly executed as of the date first above written.


Landlord's Consent

The undersigned, the landlord in the Master Lease, hereby acknowledges consent to the foregoing Sublease Agreement.


Date:________________________ ________________________

2 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 3 May :: 7.14 pm

is anyone looking for an apartment to stay in june through sep 15??????? ............

we are trying to get rid of ours... we are moving out to save money which is going to be really great but yeah we aare just trying to save so we can get married so if anyone is interested at all let me know and we can talk details.

but as far as life goes......... i have no clue.

1 ::..So what? | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 17 March :: 2.07 pm

i want to quit school.

really really bad.

i need to figure something else out that i could go to school for. i want to be a translator or something. blah ....


:: 2008 10 March :: 9.56 pm

chemical imbalances...........


:: 2008 2 March :: 10.10 pm

so i had this dream that kevin, andy sischo, jay from high school with red hair, phil maas, and other people were walking around trying to kill me and justin bloss and other people with these lazer gun thingys and they had these things that zapped us and hurt like hell. it was terrifying.

stop trying to kill me! me and justin killed andy with a shovel. and sam hamilton tried to help me by telling me the code to shut off the lights.

2 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 22 February :: 3.52 pm

i dont think you're supposed to feel this way for a couple years but even still, knowing that, i can't help but keep thinking about it.

i feel like it'd be the only thing i'd be good at. the only thing that would totally fufill me.

i can't even cry when i really really want to i think it's like shut off like a switch. it only allows about 4 tears to slip through.


:: 2008 21 February :: 1.40 pm

so i honestly just fell asleep during my chemistry midterm. i mean it's not a huge deal since i still was able to finish it on time, but damn. i'm 99% sure that in the midst of my nap, i laughed outloud during the total silence because i was having some sort of dream thing and laughing at something roman said... it kind of jolted me out my sleep momentarily but yeah i'm pretty sure i did a snort/kind of laugh thing. embarassing. also my professor came up to me i'm not sure if that's what woke me up or if i just felt her presence and woke up on my own .... i was just like "sorry" and she was like "oh you're just takign a break" and I was like ummm yeah but i'm done so its okay...even though i wasn't.

i can't take school anymore. every test i take i just want to get done so bad i just fill in letters. god i'm so bad i know. i just ...........ugh i hate tests.

ughghghgh i seriously just want to quit school so bad. i want to! i have these major doubts i wont make it all the way through so why am i wasting my time now. what will happen if i get a bad grade in even ONE of my classes? i will lose my scholarship and then what? i have no idea. maybe roman and i should just move to ohio and he should work for his dad and make big bucks.



:: 2008 12 February :: 11.17 am

i have ear infections in both my ears i want to just stay home and sleep so bad. i feel like crap because i have been sick for 2 weeks straight and now both my ears are all weird and i can't hear anything out of either of them ... all i hear is myself talking or breathing or whatever ahhhhhhhhh it's so annoying. this has been going on for 6 days but my other ear just started doing it yesterday. so now its both my ears which is really weird i have never heard of having ear infections in both ears. the worst part is when i sleep - i sleep on my stomach and it hurts no matter which way i lay my head because each ear hurts when i'm not laying it on the pillow ........ owwww

i called the doctor today but i dont know if they'll give me a prescription without going in there and i dont have time..

i have to go to school until 5:30 today and then i work at 6 until midnight and then tomorrow i have to open so i have to be there at 6:45 am but it is a short shift luckily

i'm so ready for break. i wish i was going on vacation..........


:: 2008 10 February :: 12.47 pm

okay so eventful day already but i will try to just give the shorthand version

no heat in my car so that means no defrost so that means can't see

been driving it that way for like a week, was planning to have roman fix it today, ordered the part and everything

had to work at 9:45 this morning... left in my car i could see okay but not the greatest

got a little further on byron center and it was total white out and my windsheild and windows were icing over, it was really hard to see, i pulled over in the furthest lane and just sat there with my hazards on.

didn't know what to do but i knew i wasn't going to try to drive because the last time i drove in the wind blowing white out conditions i promised myself i would never do it again. i told my self i would sit there all day until a tow truck came and got me if i had to.

i drove a little bit further and pulled off the road on the side. i sat in my car with no heat for TWO AND A HALF HOURS.

MY BEST FRIEND EVER JESSIE HAZEN and he GREAT FIANCE RYAN came and got me because they are the greatest. they can vouch for me that the conditions were HORRIFIC!!!! when jess got out of the car 5 feet in front of me i oculdn't even tell if it was ryan or jess. that's how bad visibilaty was!

so ryan drove my car to the nearest parking lot and me and jess drove ryans car in front and jess bought me hand warmers cuz she's a sweetie so i could defrost my toes a little. lol i'm SO COLD still and this was like an hour ago

oh yeah and i called into work and this poor girl had to cover for me because fucking midnite sun and cruise is retarted and they dont give a SHIT about their employees and whether they are going to die or not. no one should be driving today! but they dont care. they need to keep their tanning salon open for the 2 customers that might come in today.

lastly... roman just called me and was lkike shouting in the background and stuff it really scared me but he told me a girls car flipped overr and there are tons of cars - at least 20 all collided and flipped and 2 semis smashed into each other and the girl's dog is in romans car right now because her's is flipped over. but he is okay but tons of other people aren't

okay, NOT that i am glad people got in accidents, i would never want that and that really sucks but how come i never get to see the neat stuff like that. i mean it's not neat, it's just kind of interesting to see i guess. rroman sees people flip their cars and stuff all the time, i have never seen it. lol i know that sounds really bad but i still think it'd be .... i can't think of the word ot use that would be okay but yeah...

anyway, i hate michigan winters and i can't wait to move out of this state.

2 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 3 February :: 9.46 pm

he just threw the remote into the wall acting like an animal. he never acts like that and it is dumb god people are pissing me off.

2 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 2 February :: 11.53 pm

why am i still awake? i feel really weird..................................

i'm watching like the dumbest show ever. and i dont want to go to work tomorrow. and i feel sick.

this lady started crying...a client that comes in all the time at work the other day. she like started crying and i felt so bad for her and i'm just like um you want a hug.... i felt really bad awwwwwwwww

shit shit hsti ahsd;lfkajsd;lfkajsdf;lkajsdf;lkajsdflkasjf;laksjdf;lkasjdf;lksjdf;lkasdjf;alksdjf;lakjf;alksfja;lskfja;sf

i hate nights like this.


:: 2008 30 January :: 12.57 am

I HATE MY JOB BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR EMPLOYEES WHATSOEVER. I JUST WORKED UNTIL MIDNIGHT AND THEN ATTEMPTED TO DRIVE HOME IN THIS AWFUL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WEATHER. i swear to you people, you could NOT see a THING not a thing@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just pure white that's all you can see. it was the scariest thing ever i'm not kidding. i called roman and he didn't have his phone, i called jess, and i then i called my mom and woke her up i was crying saying i dont know what to do i dont know what to do becaue you couldn't even tell if you were on the road or driving into someoen's front yard seirously!!! you cludln't see anything and traffic lights were out and omg

taht seriulsy i think wwas the scariest thing i have ever done. ahhhh thanks mom for hleping me get home lol

2 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2008 25 January :: 9.54 am

i am never drinking again. ugh kill me and i have to work from 4 to midnight. i'm gonna die.


:: 2008 21 January :: 3.29 pm

so i actually feel like i can be a nurse. i'm liking my classes better and understanding stuff. because the program is so new and my school is so small, i have my classes with basically all the same 30 people because that is how many people got accepted into the program. i'm realkzing that i am just as smart as these people and they are struggling in areas just like i was/am. so yay.

we dont get to disect cadavers. we only get to disect cats but oh well. i guess we can learn more because we can disect them more where as with cadavers-because so many people have to use them and they have to last a whole year, you can only do a little.
i can't type well beause i have fake nails on. i haven't got my naisl done in like 2 years but i really wanted to last week so i got acrylilics on. just a frech manicure. not like i sued to get.

roman and i are doing so well. when we first moved in together we had this period of like 2 months where we fought really bad like we'd be fine and then fight fine and then fight but we have really gotten over that ---well i mean, obviously since that was a long time ago but my point is ...we hve just grown from it all and i'm really happy.

we are probably going to florida to visit his gramma and have soem fun for our spring breaks. the bad part is that are spring breaks aren't at the same time and so i might not be able to ugugghghgh but that would really suck because my birthday is during his spring breeak so if he went and i didn't i'd be all alone on my bday.

i can't believe i'm gonna be 20 ..that seems so old! weird.

roman and i were talking about the wedding which was supposed to be in may 2009 but the more we talked about it. the more we thought it would be a smart idea to just wait until we were done with college completely.


i really want some chocolate chip cookies. cya

4 ::..So what?..:: | ::Yessa..::

:: 2007 22 December :: 5.50 pm

Today Roman and I were driving with Cesar in the backseat on 44th street and we were going east right past the mall and this moron in a black truck pulls out from the mall all the way on the right and we were in the middle lane and he crosses all 4 lanes to get over to the left to go in the MI turn around thing.

it was wet out and he started losing control and fish tailing a little and then goes up on the median where a big green road sign with two poles is and he smashes into it right square in the middle and the sign breaks and flies over his truck

AND HE JUST KEPT ON DRIVING!! and pulled into the turn around to go west bound. It was so insane!!! our radio was off so we could hear everything. it was like a movie it was so unreal. i couldn't believe he just kept driving like it was no big deal at all. he is lucky that the sign didn't fly into the road and hurt someone else. he was going way too fast and almost hit us when he was crossing all those lanes. roman honked the horn and then he smashed the sign. it was crazy.

and then we got his plate # and called the police and reported it. hahaa fucker.

it was nuts!!!

::Yessa..:: | Random Journal