. . . . . . . . . . . .~*So I lay my head back down and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours I pray to be only yours I know now you're my only hope*~. . . . . . . . . .


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~*Nothing But Drama*~

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:: 2006 29 September :: 10.37 am

So whats new in my life well not a whole lot I was just reading on here all of my old posts and the comments people left me and I jus started crying, cuz I have lost so many friends that its not even funny... there were so many people who were there for me and I dont even talk to them anymore, the one person I still have has f*d me over so manytimes but I she was my b/f so I just get over it I dunno what else to do, I can't not have some1 to talk to... I miss all my friends and talkin to them about all the drama in my lil ol life, but I usually talk to Kendall.. she listens but doens't really have a whole lot of feed back or if she does it has nothing to do w/ my problems well I am gonna get goin but maybe I will talk to you guys later if any1 even reads this thing anymore

1 LiL Bit Of HeLp! | LiL BiT Of HeLp!

:: 2006 30 August :: 11.23 am

OMG I don't know what to do, I kno not to many people will see this so I feel safe puttin it on here and if you do see it I trust you so... I have a boyfriend but I am still jealous of my ex... I think about him alot and I still get jealous when I hear about him w/ other girls... but he doesn't tell me when he gets w/ other girls and we usually talk about everything... but not that why?? Iwould like to know and not get on myspace and read about it in his and her comments.... AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH why why why why do I care we haven't been together for like 2 years but I still have feelings for him and I hate to admit it I hate it b~cuz I know he doesn't feel the same or at least I think I know but I dont want to ask him cuz I dont want to ruin our friendship what do I do.... HELP HELP HELP HELP

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:: 2006 28 March :: 4.41 pm

the drama continues
So ya I'll give you a real update so you all know me and brandon broke up well me and Kevin started talkin and hangin out again and we had fun and stuff well then shit got all weird and ya well I started talkin to Beaster from TC this guy I used to like in HS and it was all like totally friends well then we hung out and we started to like each other and well I gave kevin the 411 and let him knoi that I liked Beaster and well he totally hats me now and thinks I led him on and all this shit so ya now you kno where I got the subject the drama continues.... well I am outtie I have to pack I AM MOVING into my appartment tommorow I AM SO EXCITED :):):):):):):)

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

:: 2006 21 March :: 10.15 pm
:: Mood: blah

Holy shit its been forever! HaHa I say that like every time I make an entry cuz I never keep up on this damn thing...Well so ya I FINALLY left my baby daddy!!!!! Yay me... I am so much happier I have so many of my friends back and I have my life in my control and not some1 else's Kendall is getting SOOOO big I cant believe she will be 2 in May WoW and I am gettin my own appartment in on the 29th of march so I am geekedn about all that! every1 will have to some and see me Its in cedar so yah none of you can say its too far! so yah I am gonna get goin fer shur so I will holla back ;) soon BUH BYE!

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:: 2005 19 April :: 2.51 am

Ya so I have no clue what to write in here... my life is probably the most boring thing in the world I sit home day after day until friday comes around and then I work for 3 days staright and then I sit home day after day.... I quit talkin to every1 from TC and every1 from cedar is busy w/ their lives and all the rest of my friends are getting ready to have babies themselves... :S o well I guess thats the price I pay for getting knocked up.. but I dont' think anything better could have came out of it cuz I love my lil girl more than anything in this whole wide world and she is growing up so fast... o god here come the waterowrks:(... I never thought I could love anyone this much but I dont know what I would do if anything ever happened to her... she is my lil guardian angel and that will never change... well I think I am done blabblering now I'm leaving... peace~

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:: 2005 22 March :: 3.41 pm

WOW THIS IS CRAZY! I have no idea how I got back on this thing I just took a WILD guess at what I password was since it has been July since I was on here:S well how is every1 not that very many people will even look here because I havent' updated it in so long but ya I miss every1 SOOOO much I keep wanting to stop and see every1 but it never works out! Kendall is getting so big is amazing I can't believe its been almost a year YIKES time is flying by so fast well I don't have my same e~mail addy anymore me and brandon just have one together its bak5204@pathwaynet.com.. I dont even have MSn messenger what I loser I am :):) well I hope some1 write me back on here! ttyl Lotta love ~ME~

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:: 2004 9 July :: 1.20 pm

WoW... I haven't updated this thing since like May or sumpin like that.. :S well alot has happened since then so here goes...
~well me and Ian are officially over he is too immature to handle a serious relationship but he wants me to wait around for him and give it another try after he graduates...
*psh* ya right
~OH WAIT... plus his mom wont let him see me anywayz cuz I have a kid and he doesn't need to get caught up in that stuff... ya well f* you!
~thats ok b~cuz me and Brandon ( the baby daddy ) have been talkin alot lately about gettin back together and about "us" and stuff and its all lookin good right now so i am happy...
~Right now I am in Alabama visiting me dad cuz he lives down here and I am stayin until Aug. 9th then I am comin home and gettin ready to go back to school :S
*Not lookin forward to that*
~Kendall is doin good... she is growing alot :( its kinda sad she is growin too fast I want her to stay little.. she is sucha good baby!
and well I think that is all that is new w/ my life so I will HoLlA at ya'll later!
~PS~ I miss you Ash Amy Michelle and every1 else I can't wait to see you again!

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:: 2004 2 June :: 11.14 pm

Happy One Month B~Day To Kendall :D Man it doesn't seem like it has been a whole month since I had her but it has... times are goin by rather fast, the other day I started to write her little notes cuz I read something about children and teenagers like to read what their parents say to them when they are that little so ya :D I started that the other day and I also started her scrapbook :D I am gonna spoil this lil shit... O wait I already do :P but thats ~ok~... I was watchin something about the newest winner of American Idol and I never knew that she had a kid when she was 16... that is great though cuz now I look at her and she is my inspiration and she shows me that I can be successful too! And well ya I thought I would just get on here and update this thing... I dunno what I just talked about it was all nonsence prolly but w/e :D TtYl ~HoLlA~ hehe I'm so gay!

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:: 2004 21 May :: 11.15 am

OmG...HE ACTUALLY HELD HER, yes yes yes you read that right... he held her It was so cute until she started cryin then he wasn't liking it so much but b4 she was cryin he was fine w/ it...but i doubt it will happen very often...Well 2nite I think I am goin 2 the movies w/ Ian we are either gonna see Shrek 2 or Breaking All The Rules...so that'l be fun... and I think thats about all thats new.. so ya TtYl

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

:: 2004 20 May :: 1.19 pm

Hello! How is every1 out there.. well I am great... and this time I'm not bein sarcastic! I'm good, Kendall's good, Life is good:) LoL Well for the MOST part... b~sides the fact that I HATE Kendall's Dad's girlfriend.. UgH She is So0o annoying and So0o just ugh everything... I mean she is a kid herself she is 14 he is 18 thats RAPE he already has one kid why the hell does he need 2 ?!?! Any1 wanna answer that? Prolly not cuz I dont think there is an answer! But ok ChEcK tHiS- (first lemme just tell you all that he hasn't even held his own fuckin daughter) ~ok~ but ne wayz... ya so I was over @ their house the other day and I layed Kendall on his chest and they were layin there for like 5 mins @ the most and then the phone rang and he answered it and was like let me call you right back... so he hung up and he SLID her off his chest ya slid didn't even pick her up he just slid her off his chest and left her on the couch and went upstairs and called his girlfriend :@ isn't that some bullshit right there UGH I was so heated when he did that I wanted to just pull the phone cord outta the wall... but besides my dickhead of an ex my life is goin good... me and Ian are doin alright right now we aren't goin out technically but we are an "item" so to say... I just dont know how long thats gonna last cuz he doesnt seem to want to accept the fact that I have a kid and now its a 2 for 1 deal you get us both when you get me and he doesn't want that he just wants me but he can't just have me so ya... but as of now things are pretty good... and every1 look @ my lil picture isn't it beautiful... thats my baby girl if you want me actually send you a pic just lemme kno and I will ~K~ well I'm outtie so I will holla back lata aight peace !

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:: 2004 13 May :: 5.39 pm

~ok Ashley you can stop tellin me to update this thing... cuz I am just doin it for you... I dont know what to write thats why I haven't updated it in a while.. but ya umm my baby is doin good she is very healthy all she does is sleep eat and shit...lol which isn't all that bad! but ya me and Ian are goin good right now... who knows how it will be next week but for now its good :) and ya thats about all that is new in my life so ya! have fun ya'll!

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:: 2004 5 May :: 9.53 am

It's A Girl!
YaY It's A Girl :D ~ok~ well I dunno if some of you still didn't kno but ya I was pregnant w/ my ex bf's baby, me and him were together almost a year and then we broke up and I found out :S which sucked but there wasn't really anything that could be done, but ya I decided to go through w/ the pregnancy and stuff but I hid it from every1 even my best friends... but now I just don't care because this past weekend on Sunday, May 2nd @ 2:18 in the mornin I had the most beautiful baby is the world:) I am so proud of myself and I am so glad I decided to keep it, she is such a good baby too, she only wakes up 2x in the middle of the night and thats usually around 12 (which I am already awake usually) and 4 and thats she... she lets her mommy sleep.... wow that sounds so weird.. I'm a mom... who would have thought.... NOT ME!!! But ya she weighed 7lbs. 3oz. she was 19 inches long and she is VERY HEALTHY... the only thing is she eats like a PIG (just like her mom)... but thats ok~ I just thought I would let every1 know what was goin on and ya, I will talk to you all later LoVe Ya LoTz ~mUaH~ Amanda

P.S. I thought I better add that I named her Kendall Helaine :D

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:: 2004 29 April :: 4.56 pm

Well so much for my life goin good for once... THIS IF FUCKIN SHITTY AND I HATE IT... my best friends mom... hell "MY MOM" just died and I didn't even get to say good bye... I mean she was like another mom to me, whenever I had a problem and my mom wasn't there she was... whenever my mom and I were fighting and I wanted to leave I went there... whenever my mom and her bf were fighting and I just couldn't take it I went there and now there is no there... and I dont know what to do :'( I mean I know she is in a better place but I wish she could still be here.. WTF how come the docs can help some ppl over come cancer and others they can't?!?! ITS NOT FAIR! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS... I JUST WANNA SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW A FIT LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'(

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:: 2004 28 April :: 3.38 pm

Well Well Well what do we have here... not a damn thing :) my life is still kinda blah nothing real exciting goin on yet! As some of you know what I mean... but I dunno I have had some bad days and then again I have had some good days... . ' . ' . ' . ' . thats like my life... up and down and up and down like a lil rollercoaster... but right now its up and I am hopin it will stay that way... the worst thing right now is my mom... she acts like she is here to support me and stuff but then she turns around and all she cares about is her and her bf... like last night I thought she really wanted to do sumpin because she cared about me then come to find out it was just because she told her bf she would and It just pissed me off and UgH.. I hate my mom sometimes.. its hard to explain! but ya I love my friend cuz they are so supportive and I dunno what I would do w/ out them... even the ppl that aren't my "friends" and are here for me that means to much to me (and you kno who you are)! but ya thanx every1 who is here for me it really means alot to me :D

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:: 2004 19 April :: 8.10 pm

Kevin don't worry your not the only one who is havin a shitty day... I really hate my life... my boyfriend has turned into a jerk, people are STILL talkin crap about me and I dont even go to that school anymore, I hate gettin homeschooled its So0o0o0o0 boring, and ya I dunno anymore... I am so frusterated, I just want to scream!!!!!

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