friends | profile | guestbook

My soul (or lack thereof)

recent entries | past entries

:: 2004 17 February :: 12.52 am

So yeah, it's been a good long while since I've updated, and tonight I feel the need to talk, so here it goes. So yeah, this evening I met Jackie at Japanese night at Schuler's on Alpine and we hung out there for a while. Somewhere near to two hours. But at the same time we didn't get any privacy and so we didn't really get to talk. Anyways, afterward I had the choice of going to Jackie's for probably about an hour, or going out to play some pool with my friend Kovach. Figuring that this would last longer and it was the regular pool night, I went with pool. Apparently it was the wrong choice because all night I was missing Jackie, even though I know our time together would have been limited. Now I'm sad, and I miss her so much. I just wish she was here right now, even if she was asleep so that I could keep her warm and just watch her. Sometimes I can't believe how much I love her. Spring break (both mine and hers) is going to be tougher than I expected.

3 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 13 November :: 10.11 am

It's a perfect day outside. The snow is so beautiful with the sun peaking out every so often. It feels like a day of renewal. Not like in the way the first days of spring do, but more a renewal of the soul. It makes me feel that... I don't know how to day it. It's just so beautiful. I want to go out and just walk, so that I can be a part of it. It's times like this that I feel like I'm made for bigger things. As if all of this beauty and perfection were designed specifically for me and if I don't do something great in repayment everything will be disappointed.

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 8 November :: 2.34 am

Is it wrong that I miss you already? Is it wrong that I think to be able to dream next to you would be a great thing?

1 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 7 November :: 7.52 am

Okay, so last night I had this insane dream. There was this guy who gave me any wish I wanted. Mine was to have infinite cash for one day. It didn't work out so well seeing as the first thing I bought was a fountain of fire and a flame thrower. It set some trees on fire and we had to keep them from spreading. It was wierd. Then I went to the gas station and gas was .49 a gallon. I went in to pay and the guy's like, "We don't take checks." So I start running away and the gas station explodes. Yeah... I have wierd dreams...

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 7 November :: 12.11 am

Today has been a good day. I thought it was going to suck because I was double-shifted but Jackie stopped by during my break and we hung out so my night shift was great. Afterward I went over to Jackie's and we just layed around. It was really nice and relaxing even though I'm not feeling that great (stupid philly cheese steak). Now I'm home and I feel like crap. I wish I could have just stayed over there and slept. At least I was comfortable and near her. Oh well I guess all that I have now is to dream until tomorrow.

1 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 26 October :: 2.03 am
:: Mood: pissed off

So yeah, I was just watching some anime when I decide to take a bathroom break. I look out the window and find that my entire front yard has been TP'd. I'm fuckin' pissed. The worst part is that I was in the house and awake when it happened. So we made a quick sweep of the neighborhood and didn't find anyone. I'm sorta glad cause I probably would have kicked their collective ass. Dammit. Screw this. I'm goin' to bed.

4 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 25 October :: 8.59 pm

"Yeah. I wanna have the right. I wanna feel the night around the stars."
-"Tattoo" Big Mother Thruster

I find myself in a very melancholy mood today. I miss Jackie a lot and I have all of this energy with nothing to do. My friend Brandon's coming over in a bit to watch anime, but he's more one of those people that makes you feel more depressed instead of being able to cheer you up. Oh well. I'll watch anime and then I work tomorrow, so I can see Jackie on Monday. I miss you babe...

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 23 October :: 11.28 pm
:: Music: "Tattoo" Big Mother Thruster

The Truth lasted 30 seconds.

1 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 20 October :: 11.25 pm
:: Music: The Skate Party "Rock with you"

I'm so in love. How could life be any better? I've got this amazing, beautiful girlfriend who I can understand, who loves anime and video games, and who I feel like I've known for so long even though it's been just over a month and a half. I don't know except that my life is as perfect as it ever has been and I don't want it to change.

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 14 October :: 6.03 pm

My sister just swallowed a quarter. Yes, a quarter. Now the family's off to the urgent care. Grand.

5 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 14 October :: 12.11 am

Sometimes I wish I could live my life as if I didn't believe in God, but still actually believe in Him. I mean for that year I was an atheist I had better morals than many of the Christians I know, and I took nothing for granted. Even in my worst times I saw a certain beauty in everything around me. After I came back to God it all faded again. I guess being with Jackie lets me stare that beauty straight in the face and know that it will never fade. It makes me wish I could see the beauty in everything, like I did before. I don't think it's worth the cost though, or if I could pay the price of disbelieving God even if I wanted to.

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 13 October :: 12.44 am

May there always be work for your hands to do
May your purse always hold a coin or two
May the sun always shine on your windowpane
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain
May the hand of a friend always be near you
May God fill your hear with gladness to cheer you

Traditional Irish Blessing

4 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 12 October :: 12.43 pm

Best homecoming ever
So yeah, last night was homecoming and it was great. I picked Jackie up around 6 (God is she beautiful) then we went to my house for dinner. After some relaxing we ended up at the dance. Sure the music could have been better and it could have been a lot less hot, but the dancing was great. Not to mention I got to dance with the most amazing girl in the world. Oh, and of course Mr. Lewis came over and had a talk with us. That was hilarious. Afterward we ended up driving and talking for a while then came back to my house. I guess we both fell asleep, cause my mom woke us up around 2 and then like 2 minutes later Jackie's dad called. I hope he wasn't mad that I got her home late. In any case, I've gotta be the happiest guy in the world.

3 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 7 October :: 11.35 pm

Today has been one of the greatest birthdays ever. I had an awesome day at work, my family and Jackie and I went out to dinner at the Vestal and I had a great time. After that I came home and had cake, ice cream, and (most importantly jk) presents. Then I got to spend some quality time with the most amazing girl I've ever met. Could my life be any better? I don't think so.

2 people said | talk to me

:: 2003 5 October :: 2.21 am

Is it odd that I wish I was still there with you instead of anywhere else?

2 people said | talk to me | Random Journal