my life as it is at this point....
First off.. my ex ,steve, is going to pay for what he did... all that he did... every single thing... karma is a bitch but i can be worse... he shall pay... he is now a dead man walking... he'll get his before i die... may not be soon... may be a long time from now... but before i die hes going to get his... and he knows it... ... but on a lighter note... heres some positive things in my life... first off i love my job... its fun.... second... i have this new boyfriend... i like him a lot... hes nice to me... i feel safe with him... and the suprising thing is that i trust him... i dont trust very many people... its weird... but yea i like him hes groovy... but thats all 4 now... i'll have more news later...

My Car
I hate my god damn car today is like the millionth time i missed classes because of it.. every fucking day i get stuck some where in that car and my parents are to cheap to hire a plow to plow our drive way..i tell them "if you stop smoking so mutch pot you would be able to afford it" i swear one day i'm gunna run that car straight into a tree.. i hate it so mutch.. it gets stuck every fuching where or it dies.. i never had any problems with it untill winter.. the god damn thing is cursed..i cant afford to keep taking classes over just cuz my car is possesed.. its expensive on me... concidering i'm paying for all of my schooling.. i hate life some times... its a wonder why i havent went out kurt cobain style yet..... i can never make it to school when i want to go.. isnt that some shit.. so now i'm stranded at home with no food.. i'm sick to my stomach.. my hand hurts from hitting my car and i have 2 smokes left and no way to go buy more... i hate living out here it blows...

life..
I hate life and i hate men.. But good news.. sorta.. I'm single agin.. .. my ex did something realy bad.. and i should have killed him 4 it.. but i figured i could just hire someone else 2 do it for me.. but that takes all the fun out of it... but i then decided not 2 kill him yet.. i got 2 finish collage first have a life then when i'm old and retired i'll kill him.. but yea thats all 4 now.. maybe i'll write more later...

Grrrr.
Guess what.. Love sucks and i hate men..... It really hurts 2 love some one so much and they just treat you like shit and dont care about you unless they get there way.. i think i'm gunna shoot my self.. or my b/f... my heart gets repeatedly broken.. but do i learn.. yes i learn but my heart dosnt cuz i still love him even though hes an ass hole... my mind is like no no more stab the fucker and get on with your life and my heart say its ok you love him and love heals all wounds no matter how many he makes... i hate it... it makes me sick.. i treat him so damn good.. its crazy.. and he treats me so bad..... i drive him where ever he needs 2 go i take him out 2 eat.. i drive an hour just 2 go visit him .. that an hour one way ... i let him fuck me even though it hurts so bad that i'm cryin and bleeding.. .. he wouldnt even stop if i told him 2... i love him so much and take care of him and show him respect and complement him all the time... whta do i get.. i get 2 cry and hate sex but i still do it for him.. he has never took me 2 dinner or any where else.. he uses me he never complements me.. and he told me he is still in love with his ex... he breaks my heart all the time he yells at me and calls me names.. and i do nothing backk..... i dont know how much more i can take be 4 i hurt him.. or my self.. i hurt so bad and i feel all alone.. it sucks.. but thats life.. right.. but its not fair...

life now... where am i now..
now... i am in collage... 2 be a radiologist
now... i miss highschool
now... my head hurts
now... i'm seein an old friend from my past
now... my old friend is a shitty boyfriend... he is an ass 2 me

now... i realize that my boyfriend dosnt love me as much as he loves his ex

now... i feel stupid for loving him so much and for being so open 2 him

now... i hurt in side
now... i have a job at k-mart
now... i need a better job
now... i'm going 2 detroit in november to model

now... i'm sick a lot
now... i need a smoke
now... some one stole money from me
now... i know what fraud realy is
now... i'm broke
now... i'm heart broken
now... i realize that love is pain
now... and now i realize that i dont love pain any more

now... my need to feed my addictions is getting bad

now... now i realize that i was truely addictied
now... i love pain killers
now... i hate pain
now... i wish i had some pain killers
now... i wish i couldnt feel
now... i realized some things should be left in the past no matter how much you miss them or love them..

now... i am lonely
now... i am sad
now... i hurt
now... i am depressed
now... life goes on
now... i got a kitten
now... i have bruses all over my body and i dont know how i got them

now... i am tired
now... i wish i had more time
now... i wish i had more money
now... i wish i was more loved
now... i wish my boyfriend cared
now... i wish i cared less
now... i realized i am stupid some times
now... life sucks

My love life Cont.3 agin dont forget to read them in order...
We break the engaugment we break up my heart gets broken agin (he's already cheated on me before with 2 men)...He has his freedom now to fuck up his life... and now i'm stuck with out a date for prom, a broken heart, and an 13 dimond engaugment ring with a wedding band (i'm willing to sell!!!).. but i guess life goes on...But it sucks...I'm lonely :( , sad :( , depressed :( , and SINGLE :) ... I'm not happy about it but life goes on...

my love life cont.2
Stuff gets rocky...we fight...He lies...we fight...i cry...we fight...i hurt...we fight...he hides his feelings so his mom don't get mad at him...we fight...because his mom wants to destroy all of her childerns relationships so they are as unhappy as her...we fight...because his mom wants all of her children to move back home and controll there lifes so she fells that atleast she has controll over something in her life...we fight...because his mom dosen't want him to grow up she wants her little care free teen age boy back (but he's realy 23)...we fight...he dwindles back into this imature, teenage wanna be, asshole and treats me like shit...WE fight...i realize he's too inmature to get marryed to and he dosn't love me any more even though i'm still madly in love with him and i can do better because i still have goals and i'm gonna make something of my self and damit i know i can do better and find some one who realy loves me...WE FIGHT... TO BE CONT...

My Love Life 1
Here's the jist of it. Me and Jerrod fell madly in love... Life gos on... We get engaged to get married... Life gos on... His mom gets divorsed from her 6 month lets get marryed after knowing each other for 2 weeks relationship to her soon to be son-in-laws father in hopes thet her daughter wont get marryed to her new step brother/the man she was planing on marrying... Life gos on... His mom tells him to leave me and move back home because i'm evil because i don't let him do what ever he wants (Join the milita/ Be bi and fuck guys on the side while he's engauged to me/ do mad drugs/ ditch me all the time/ not make love to me) so she cons him into thinking i'm evil because i care about him getting a good job and i don't want him to waste all of our money and his health on drugs and because i love him and want to spend time with him and even make love with him on a regular basis... Life gos on... TO BE CONTINUED.......

Christmas
I hate christmas.. all the parties, santa, every thing.... I got my man a gift a week ago then i found out yesterday that he already has one. That sucked.. i can't take it back.. so i'm prolly gonna still give it to him... i don't need it.. i'm gonna get something else too today but i don't know what yet.... damn this sucks.. i hate the holidays...

me agin

I am ZIIMMMMMM!

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Dude... I'm sick, tired, annoyed, bored, and missin my man. This sucks! Oh well I'll live.

me agin

I am 67% evil. Take the test :: koolplace.com

You're darkness! You are about the most evil thing on this planet...who knows if you are sane or not but one thing is for sure, you're not a people person. You're more bent on destoying mankind, when it comes right down to it.




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