The Here & Now

The Here & Now

:: 2008 7 May :: 10.44 pm
:: Mood: Invincible
:: Music: The River is Here

On the Subject of Joy
I am so incredibly happy that I want to use the cliche that words cannot describe this feeling...but I love words, so let's have a go.

Its rad, its bad, its mad,
Its ridiculous, its redonkulous, its fantabulous,
Its fantastic, its drastic, its bombastic,
Its immeasurable, its immortal, its immaculate,
Its unmeasurable, its unexpected, its unbelievable,

Life is good. Its not like this all the time, but I believe certain coinciding events might usher in this new era.

School's almost out. Each year the imprisonment of the educational system has become more and more oppressive, but now I can taste the freedom! Just a little bit more, a couple AP Tests, A Tale of Two Cities, a concert, and a monologue. And I'll have two of the most beautiful months all mine.

The Police Sunday. I'm very excited about this. Very. Excited. Its been one of those "big events" that I've been desiring for a long time. One of those that you almost wish would never happen because you fear it'll be impossible to marinate in each moment, that you won't savor enough. But its still going to be fan-freakin'-tastic.

Roshanah and I are back together. I know this will incur mixed responses from everyone, but I really don't mind. I don't really know what else to say about this...we've been dancing around it for a long time, but for a variety of reasons have refrained from anything...real. I honestly believe this is evidence of a good God. Its a funny kinda story, and if you ask me about it I'll be glad to tell you.

I hope you had a Wonderful Wednesday. I know I did.

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:: 2008 5 May :: 9.07 pm
:: Mood: busy

I watched Forrest Gump the other day with my grandparents (they hadn't seen it, and I am of the opinion everyone should see Forrest Gump at least once in their lifetime) and the contrasting views of Momma Gump and Lt. Dan really got me wondering.

How does the whole destiny thing work? Is it predestined as the Puritans preached in the youngest years of our nation, or is one's destiny completely under their control...

Most of the time it seems pretty evident that I am the sole proprietor of this business I call living. Yet at other times circumstance just seems to result in far too fantastic scenarios to be completely random. To have no predestiny makes me feel God is apathetic; to have total predestiny makes me feel God doesn't trust me. I don't like either thought, but to be fair I hardly trust me, so what behaviors could God see that would encourage him to allow me to choose my life? That goes back to free will. I don't know why he did it.

Perhaps he was beginning to feel dictator-ish. I mean even Castro had Che and his brother; its gotta be tough to be on top. That makes the most sense to me. After the whole demonic rebellion of Lucifer's he started to question his self-worth. Even God's bound to have an identity crisis, for are we not made in his image? And aren't we constantly assessing our images? So he made us. The ultimate test of whether he was really a good likable guy. He made us. Gave us the ability to love, hate, or worst of all deny him.

I like that idea. It may be wrong and it may be egotistical, but I'll be darned if it doesn't make me feel important. Plus its way more interesting than my Frankenstein essay that's due tomorrow.

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