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Passing Through The Shadows

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:: 2004 30 September :: 4.08 pm

Beyone the Eye
Oprah is so awesome lol.

I wanna be in the audience one day and get free shit lol. I need a car!

Did ne1 get the e-mail from NHS? I didn't.

So was up?

I'm enjoying this time "off"

I wanna c Shark Tale. It looks good- maybe it'll be a family affair.

under the darkness

:: 2004 3 September :: 3.11 pm

no one can make u feel inferior without your consent

under the darkness

:: 2004 3 September :: 3.06 pm

peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter wit a baseball bat

under the darkness

:: 2004 2 September :: 6.32 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Old 80's/90's music

so damn hot but so youngg- ok that's not that 90's music lol
I think my houses is one of the few houses that the windows rn't boarded up lol. I think besides that, we're ready. My mom spent $80 just on candles- she's crazy. She loves candles and flowers- what girl doesn't, I guess? Everything in our house is falling apart neway lol, so I think my parents dont care at this point. But in all seriousness I hope everyone does stay safe and takes the right precautions.

I wonder where we will all be in two years from now ? I guess another chapter in the book of our lives. I really hope I keep in touch wit some of u ppl tho, cuz some of u totally rock. If u dont know how u r, somethin wrong witchu! Seriously, we all have so much potential. We CAN be the people who CHANGE THE FREAKIN WORLD, if we apply ourselves. Everything starts with an intention. And if ur intention is strong enough, God sees it through.

1 heavy shadow | under the darkness

:: 2004 21 August :: 11.01 am

Everyone had moved on the livejournal. I feel guilty for not using this. But I like woohu. I think everyone has moved onto livejournal besides Kaila and Sam ?

Well after getting sort of a pattern for school, it feels a bit better. But I don't wanna focus on anything negative in this entry. School's great cuz I get to see all the familar faces... that part is awesome. I have friends in ALL my classes. And even if I don't, I have the ability 2 make new friends and not be resistant 2 change. It'll be ok. There r worse things than this. And I really do like some of the subjects. I like learning- just the test/quiz aspect of it. But u know, life is all about becomin a better person and broadening your horizons, and yeah.. we'll never be finished wit that, but why not strive. If no one's with me, then I guess it's me against the world.. and that ok :D

2 heavy shadows | under the darkness

:: 2004 19 August :: 9.18 pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Baby ft. P Diddy- Do That

I think all my entries for like.. a year now r gonna be about how much work school is and how badly is sucks- sorry in advance

I seriously start at 4:30/5 and work until about 10/11 at night. [Obviously wit the necessary breaks..] I dunno, I think it's cuz I have my computer on/music playing. Maybe tomorrow I'll try without the music/computer on- wait, scrath that, tomorrow's Friday, I'm NOT workin that hard on a Friday. Some of the classes rn't that bad though. [English, Chem, and surpringly Bio]. History and Spsanish sucks major ass. History, just cuz it's boring. I have no clue what 2 expect 4 the test ?! so I gotta read this weekend and get up 2 date on everything in that class. Spanish- it's just a hard course. And I'm confused in Pre Cal [not sounding conceited, but..], which I rarely ever struggle in MATH. What's up with that? I dunno, it just feels like I'm runnin a race wit the clock whenever I get home. Can u believe these two girls in my Bio class were like.. DISAPPOINTED/WORRIED we didn't get any homework?!

But I'm glad it's Friday tomorrow. Then I get TWO WHOLE DAYS to do homework- just kidding! Rachel's party, and I wanna go 2 the movies.. I WILL go the movies. Good stuff.

under the darkness

:: 2004 13 August :: 8.25 pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: salt shaker

just had dinner- i'm stuffed, that's for sure.

well week no. 1 is over. not that it was such an event-making week, but yeah. i'm glad it's the weekend tho. i was excited 2 c everyone, but i didn't even get 2 c that many ppl. this year, ppl who i have classes wit- they're in a lot of my classes, as opposed 2 last year when it was more spread out and i saw more ppl. i guess in a way it's good cuz i'll get close wit those ppl, but i was close wit those ppl neway. the classes all seem like they're gonna be hard. maybe not necessarily HARD, but if u want an a, then u're gonna have 2 work for them. not like alg 2 last year, when u get pay attention 4 the review she did right b4 the test [which, in mind, was exactly LIKE the test] and get by. or morone helpin us out in english. shit, and we'll actually have an accomplished social studies teacher. i always take a long time adjusting. strangely, i always do better second semester. so in a nutshell:

strategies 4 college success:
wudn't know cuz i haven't had the class yet, but shiit, 6 classes r enough- thank u. best part is gettin up late, stretchin my arm, and bein like hahaha i SHUD be in school now.. but i'm NOT!

the lady seems nice, but as everyone has said, boring. but she seems like she knows what she's doing and she'll get us to ap, which is what matters i guess. i dunno, i've always liked english. and sometimes it comes naturally 2 me, but sometimes i get TOO laid back, and that's when i get screwed. but i mean, why is it SO important neway. i don't get it. i mean, i get y math is, but i mean.. unless if u wanna be a journalist or something, i dunno y there's such an obsession wit it. science seems much more imp. sorry goin on a tangent. but i like the class cuz there's liz, rachel, lawrence, sunil, and anand in it. it's one of the classes where it's definitely mixed wit the nerdy ppl and the.. not ? i duno.. i'll let u decide which category i fall under.

us history:
yeah he's already called me the "mistake by the lake" lol and the whole class laughed at me : / it's my parents fault we lived in cleveland.. ok... newayy it's already managed 2 bore me and i alreayd feel overwhelmed. i'll take the blame 4 it, it was probably my fault, cuz i didn't follow through wit the readin assignment, so i was kinda lost in class 1/2 the time, but still- how does he expect us 2 get all that reading done?!?! even peter fell asleep and that says something...

i'm glad 2 back wit ms swanson [yes i still feel partially guilty 4 giving up ap chem- just 4 that strategies 4 college success class, which bein in ib is practically preparin u 4 college, but still..yeah... but i'm kinda glad i did, cuz i dunno if i wud be able 2 handle it wit ap bio. i duno if i shuda just sticked wit ap chem and social anth. o well, guess we'll never know... but the environment was already laid back and relaxed [besides that test..] and since it's not ap, i can tell we're gonna have time 2 just do nonsense and crap. good times. small class tho. ms swanson is really nice tho...

see, i like mrs halcomb herself. she's a very nice, lively lady. u don't ever feel really bored in her class or nething. it's just the gradin itself is hard/strict. but i mean, it's gonna be like the ap. so yeah. i like her tho. and everyone is in that class, so it shudn't be like last year. and it's mostly ppl from our grade, actually, which is also nice.

well not much 2 say since he's not there. but i really hope he has changed his teaching style. i HATE bein the ones to be experimented on, especially on this class. last year, gov.. whatever, don't care about that class, but i mean, bio actually counts.. we'll see, had fun in there, yeah- not much work accomplished tho. i mean, mr morone, himself, is a great guy, but anyone who had bio wit him freshman year can explain what im tryin 2 say..

pre cal:
i feel dumb already. how is that possibly, i already feel lost in math. and it's not even ap calculus or nething. i just need 2 review and look at the book and not expect everything 2 come 2 me naturally. i mean, i guess that's y we're IN school. but i mean, i think i can get an a in there. mr power is nice. like the bloke [i wish i had a british accent]

so that was this week, in a nutshell. what can i say. not much else i guess. i hope this weekend is accomplished, but fun.

3 heavy shadows | under the darkness

:: 2004 11 August :: 6.43 pm

Today was the first day of school [*take not of subject]. I mean, I guess it all right. US History has already managed to bore me, but Mr. Hall seems like a good teacher- at least he knows what he's doing. He said last year he had an 87% passing rate, that's pretty damn good. But there's a lotta people in my class, so that'll make up for it, if it does in actuality turn out to be boring. Then was Spanish. It was fun too, cuz EVERYONE is in our class. Going over the handbook was kinda boring tho. I have second lunch.. both days, I think [500's in second lunch, right?]. Mrs Halcomb is nice, but SUCH a stickler for the rules and her class itself is hard. But, I guess the way she grades is how the AP grades, so it's no good havin another teacher who lets u slide, but then u don't pass the AP. Lunch was all right. Some child thought I was a freshman- I do NOT look like a freshman. What an insult. It's switched now.. freshman year people thought I was a junior and this year people r gonna think I'm a freshman. Anyway, then was Pre Cal- it was all right. I mean, Mr Power seems nice and I don't think I'm gonna have THAT much of a hard time gettin an A, most people I know got A's last year.. It was nice goin to school late tho. I think I made a mistake by dropping AP Chem tho. I feel really.. guilty, I dunno y. I'll talk to Ms. Swanson tomorrow. Tomorrow's English, Chem, and Bio. Great, sciences BACK 2 BACK. I think odd days my worst class will be Spanish and even Biology. Well I'm off to do HOMEWORK [how dumb.. on the first day..should be used to it, after last 2 years tho.. ]

1 heavy shadow | under the darkness

:: 2004 6 August :: 10.45 am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: radio

I felt like I cheated u woohu readers cuz I just copied and pasted my livejournal post. I do that quite often. Sorry. So I'll write a new post. I wanna get a job. I dunno where tho. I'm really nervous about it. But I really do need 2 get one. Anyone have any ideas as to where I should get one? I was thinkin about maybe Blockbuster, Office Max, or Target. I would be happy at any of those places. I wanted to be Pharamaceudical Technician before, but u have to be 18 2 b one, I guess cuz of legal reasons... Anyway, main point- I need to get a job. I'll only work 1/2 times a week tho, cuz of school. Cuz school ITSELF is gonna be hard enough 2 manage. Then Key Club. All that kinda stuff.

All the excitement of driving has kinda died down. I dunno.. it's not as great as I thought it was before I was gonna get it and a few weeks after I get it. Prob cuz I don't actually have my own car. Just a license. And, wit my parents, it's not like I could always be out, just cuz I wanted to... I think most parents r like that lol.

kailannie's party is tomorrow. i have 2 get a haircut and a shirt. i hope i get 2 c a lotta ppl who i haven't gotten 2 c 4 a while.

well that's about it 4 now...

2 heavy shadows | under the darkness

:: 2004 6 August :: 1.31 am

Heyy... it's been a long time. I missed home. I got back yesterday. The flight while comin here wasn't as bad as it was while going there. U know how it seems longer GOING someplace compared to COMING from someplace? I dunno. And the layovers at the airports weren't as bad. When we were leavin Dhaka, one of our suitcases was too heavy. It was 42 kilo's [I dunno what the conversion to lbs is..] and the limit is 32. Even tho some of our suitcases were 36/37.. he [the person that was checking us in] let that slide, but not wit the 42. So we had to take things out and stuff it into our handbags and we opened another suitcase and stuffed things into that. And it was really full. And sure enough, the chain broke, so there were clothes and stuff coming out of it when we arrived in Miami. I don't like British people. The people at Virgin Atlantic were rude to us both ways. I don't think people out of the U.S. can stand Americans. But I mean, me and my family aren't really American.. well technically me and my sister r- but u know what I mean.. right? Anyway, it was sad leaving everyone. My aunt actually went to Bangkok that day. So she left before us. But I think my grandparents and aunt will come this winter of early 2005. And possibly my other aunt if she can save enough money. I know my mom really misses my grandparents cuz when she was young she never got 2 spend time wit them. I mean, my mom got married when she was our age. I couldn't ever think of that happenin 2 me at this age. I dunno... these Eastern societies just work so weird. Besides things like that always happening, it's just SO depressing going to the east. There is such poverty and SUCH a difference between the upper class and lower class. There's hardly any middle class. I mean... I just can't describe it. It's a COMPLETELY different world there. Everything.. I mean EVERYTHING there is ENTIRELY different. For people who aren't used to it- it would definitely come as a culture shock. I mean, there were floods with the dirtiest water- some of it even blue from toxins and stuff and ppl were bathing in it and washing their utensils in it. But.. it's not like they have any other choice. And the way the servants r treated... it's awful. My aunt's servant stays overnight 6 days a week JUST so she can give her child lunch. I mean, things like this that we never even have to THINK about. That never even crosses our mind as a possible situation. And it's like.. what did we do to be born into the lives we were. That could have just as easily been us. I mean.. we didn't do anything for God to put us into the lives He did. Nothing special. Nothing out of the ordinary... So in a way it makes u aprreciate things, in America. It's such a powerful country and all the other country's r really dependent on our country. The news always talks about the upcoming election [everyone HATES Bush]. Tv there sucks. Everything is so old. It's like stuff from 2000 and 2001?? And on-line is slow and u have a limited amount of time. Like 1000 mins each month. I don't think I could stand that. And obviously things there r hard to find there. Just all these little things we take for granted. Like shampoo, soap, our snacks, etc. Sorry.. I'm ranting and raving about that. But all in all, it was a good trip in the sense that I got to spend time wit all my family and see my aunt who I haven't seen in 11 years. I got close with everyone, which is the reason why I went..

Anyway, it's nice to back. I had Taco Bell yesterday night. That felt good lol. And then my mom cooked this morning, so I had her food after a long time. It's not that food there is bad, but it's just different. Different species of veg's and stuff. And I couldn't eat outside cuz I didn't wanna get sick- I know sounds paranoid.. but there, it really isn't. People who LIVE there get stomach problems lol. Today I had to go 2 school to do a whole bunch of stuff. And me and Amara had to get gas.. that wasn't fun. It sucks havin 2 pay gas wit cash. Cuz u have 2 go in and tell them and everything. Need to get a debit card. And then wit the rain.. I duno it just took a long time. So then I went 2 the IBO- God, do I hate Ms. Landaker. I had Ms. Kelly first and then since I was switchin into Strat. 4 College Success I had 2 go 2 Ms. Landaker. She is so sloww. And I dunno.. just really inefficient. Annoys me. So here's my new schedule:

1. Strategies for College Success- Colle- I dunno the name.
2. Ap English- Schillit
3. AP US History- Hall
4. Chem II- Swanson
5. AP Spanish- Halcomb
6. AP Bio- Morone
7. Pre Cal- Powers

I feel like I settled too much for Chem, or lowered my standards? I would've taken AP Chem if it wasn't only offered first hour...And I wish I could've gotten farther in math. Comment if u have any classes wit me. I haven't had a chance 2 really check wit ppl. And then I got my locker. It was the bottom one. So I went back 2 get it changed. Luckily, I knew one of the guys, and he did it for me. And the colonel wasn't there. But I switched it and it was the bottom one again lol. They told me if u divide it by 4 it's bottom and none of us checked lol. So then I felt like a dumbass for goin again. But hey.. they didn't check either. It was 132. Not that that is really relevant. But I got 133. So it's all good. I saw Mr. Morone- it was nice seein him again. He's a good man. I respect him. Once again, random. And I saw Liz, Sunil, and Allison- that was nice. I saw Greta 2 while the locker fiasco.

So that's about it. Sorry this was a long entry...

under the darkness | Random Journal