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Artificial Happiness

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:: 2004 25 July :: 10.06 pm

New Journal!

1 More Pill | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 19 July :: 3.43 pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Deadstar Assembly - Send me and Angel

Hey whats dad is going out of town in a few days I am so fuckin happy =D I have a list of movies I am gonna rent to watch for the whole week while I stuff my face on the couch =) Dude its been really weird lately I have had a really strong urge to cut myself, I'm not depressed at all I have been pretty happy lately so its not that I just want to cut myself and see blood...kinda freaky but thats how I have been feeling...ya well I dont have much to say right now but I wanted everyone to comment and tell me which of the followig pictures they think would look good for my new journal layout...the entry colum will go either on the left or right hand side and the picture on the other....PLEASE comment and tell me which one you like!

2 More Pills | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 17 July :: 3.49 pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: Lacuna Coil

Ok this entry will be for the past week.....ok well last Sunday our flippin power went out, I guess there were power outages across AZ and Glendale got effected, so of course OUR power goes out...which means our house got really hot and it sucked so me and my lil sis had to go to my grandparents for the night cuze we couldn't stay at our ya we stayed the night there and we didn't get our power back till the next morning so I didn't get home till Monday night, fun fun. Then Wednesday was my birthday...I had a family party which sucked cuze everyone was pissing me off, the only thing that wasn't makin me annoyed or whatever was my dog. Thank you to everyone who REMEMBERED and wished me a Happy Birthday, that means a lot to me. Thursday I went to Steph's house which was awesome cuze I hadn't seen her since December so I was happy =) ya I got ready and we went to pick up Alex to go to DR where we met up with another Ashley and her friend Mike. After we got there we went and saw that King Arthur movie, it fuckin sucked would think it would be gory and have good sex scenes right? WRONG WRONG WRONG! All the fighting was really clean like I expected blood pouring out everywhere and heads rolling but no none of that, hardly any blood and as for the sex scenes, they were like PG rated, very boring =( ya and then after the movies we walked up by Barnes and Noble and stayed up there for awhile, then Ashley and Mike had to go so me and Steph and Alex went to go wait for Steph to pick me and her up, and while we waited I pole danced =D OODLES OF FUN! Steph says I should be a pole dancer in colledge cuze I'm good like I can hang from the pole upside down using my legs with no hands and stuff, so ya that would be cool to take pole dancing lessons or something haha. Ya then her gma picked me and her up and we left and went back to her house where I crashed for the night. I barely got any sleep at all so when I got ome later that day I went to sleep for a few hoours then I had to wake up for dinner and I couldn't get back to bed after that for a long time it sucked...So ya that was a brief summary of my past week...this Wednesday my dad is leaving for a week to go to Wisconsin, HELL YA, so that means I can sleep all day and be up all ight and listen to music and shit cuze my mom works at ngiht so I'll be home alone with my sis for a WHOLE week, I'm so happy! Well thats about it for now people comment if you wish =D

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...mysterious
Your hugs die for
Your eyes...light up a day
Your touch is...irresistable
Your smell is...refreshing
Your smile is...hypnotising
Your love is...unique
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

You are Hooligan Bear
Hooligan Bear
Hooligan Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Domented Care Bear Are you?

BodY shoTz/ slow screws
your , crazy your wild crybaby style n booty bumpin is your thing,,from table dacing,lap dances ,to cages, u know how to have fun.... so get dirty gUrL..sure luv gluping down those drinks but u love licking them off boy bodiez too but dont get to caught up let them do some body shots to u to share gurl damn...

What DrInk r YA?

Most people love you - but then there's others who hate everyone - but don't worry - they probably have no reason to hate you - just keep actinng the way you do and eventually they're bound to leave you alone =)

How Many People Hate You?

You will kill yourself after first commiting homocide!
Your mind is a fucked up place where death is always present. So it lead you to take this survey. Someday you will just burst and massacre SOMEONE quite brutally. Way to go man! Then you will decide that you are a peice of shit and take one to the brain, causing you to DIE.

How will you KILL YOURSELF?!?!?

You are use of illegal drugs!

What illegal action am I?


You are a fighter.

What Type Of Bitch Are You?

Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 10 July :: 6.12 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Lacuna Coil =D

Hey wats crackin, this is gonna be a long journal entry so sit back and get comfy...ok well Julia and Libby came over yesterday which was fucking awesome cuze I haven't seen Julia in fucking forever and I haven't seen Libby since school so I got to see 2 of my girls which kicks ass =) So ya they came over around 2:00 and I was home alone cuze my mom and sis went out to see a movie, so ya they came over and we sat in my living room and talked for about an hour and stuff and then my mom finally got home and took us to that shopping center at the loop 101 wit the AMC 30 and shit, so ya she dropped us off at Cold Stone cuze we all wanted ice cream hella bad, damn I love Cold Stone its the best goddamn place for ice cream, so ya we got our shit and started walking down to the movie theater, we decided we didn't wanna fuckin pay cuze were cheap like that so we waited in an ally way waiting for people to come out so we could get in...not much luck, this one woman came out and saw us standing there and she was like "you girls go to the front and pay like everyone else" and shut the door and left with her children....ggrrrr....and then Julia tried knockin' on the door to see if anyone would open it, bad idea cuze a dude who worked there opened it...we kinda stood there and said we were just standing in the shade cuze it was hot and he left....a few minutes later these ugly ass guys were shoutin out us, they looked like they were about 10 but they claimed they were our age, anyways Julia ran off to talk to them and me and Libby were standing there until this chick who worked there came out and wanted to know wtf we were after that we decided we should try the other ally way, and becuase of Julia's wonderful manipulating skills, she got these guys to go into the movie theater and let us in, finally after like 10 minutes they let us in =) so ya we quickly looked for a movie to see and we ended up seeing Dodgeball, it was a pretty gay movie but it was funny, the guys followed us into the theater and ended up sitting behind us, yuck, but they did buy us a pop corn which was nice, even though 75% of the popcorn ended up on the floor cuze Julia and the guys were throwing popcorn at each other...ya me and Libby tired to stay out of ya after the movie ended it was Panda Express time, and the guys followed us there ya we ignored them and ate our orange chicken, one of the morons had a naked chick on his shirt and she had THO so I was like "did you know your shirt has THO?" hes like "ya i know thats why I got it"...typical guy ya they would come in and out of Panda Express until we left and started walking away....then they followed...and ya Julia wanted to go into Ross so we did and the guys followed us in by this time I was getting pretty annoyed...then one of the guys flipped me off becuase I had flipped him off earlier and of course I got pissed and started to go after him but I was in a very short skirt and flip flops so it was pretty hard chasing him around the store and then he ran out of the store so I went to follow but in the process I almost broke the glass door cuze I like slammed into it so ya I tried following him but the lil shit was fast and I couldn't run well in what I was ya I waited for Julia and Libby to come out cuze the women in Ross were mad that I almost broke the door so I thought it would be better to stay once Julia got her stuff we went to Pets Mart =D so ya we looked at the cats and stuff...Libby wanted a snake but they didn't have any but she also wanted a frog so we were lookin at the lizards and frogs and shit...I was gonna buy Libby a frog but I was a few bucks short so ya while we were looking at the reptiles those fucking retarted guys came in there we ignored them...and left and went to Bath and Body works for a few minutes which is always nice, and then after that we went to TARGET! Mwahahaha! Ya so Libby Julia and I went in there a looked around for a lil bit and played some ball in the isles..then Julia said she had to go to the bathroom so she left and thats when me and LIbby discovered the BIKE section! =D So ya of course me and Libby started riding the bikes around it was fucking great so after 15 minutes of riding the bikes and no Julia we decided to go look for her...we found her walking aimlessly around, so we brought her back to the bikes and all 3 of us started riding them, after about 10 minutes this pimple face high school guy that worked there who thought he was hot shit told us to get off the bikes and put them back, it ya it was pretty funny cuze he asked this one chick who worked there to escort us out so shes was like "uuhh... ok...did you guys get kicked out?" and me and Julia were like ya and shes asked whut we did and we told her we were riding the bikes and she laughed and said if she could she would have done the same ya we got kicked out so we started walking down back to the this time we were hella hot from the heat so we went in Subway to cool off...while Julia flirted with the guys that worked there I got a sub cuze I love ya while we were sitting down these girls walked past the window and gave Julia a dirty look....a few mintues later they came by again and flipped her ya we got up and left to go find them and see wtf their problm was cuze Julia didn't do the time we found them they were getting on one of those golf cart things and one of the bitches yelled to Julia "Suck my Cock Bitch" which I found quite disturbing cuze this was a chick...and well by this time it was getting close to the time for us to get picked us so we went and waited by the movie theater and got some water...on our way over there I saw that lil shit who flipped me off and as we were passing by I poured my water on him...all he could say was "ho" (thats the best he could do?) and walked away, it was pretty ya we waited in the fucking heat for awhile and then my mom picked us up and took us back to my place, once we got back we decided that we should get in my pool cuze we were fucking hot as ya we stayed in there for a few hours and talked it was tight....when we came in it was 10:30 so we all got on my big coutch and started watching HBO movies...Julia fell asleep really fast but I fell asleep at 12 and I dunno when Libby fell ya at like 2-3 am i woke up and I couldn't get back to sleep until 6 and then we all woke up around mom went and got us doughnuts and we stayed in my room cuze we were tired, or at least I was...we had planned on going to the Walgreens near my place to steal some makeup but Julia and I were tired and it was hot so we decided we would do it another time...ya they left around 2 so here I am updatnig my journal that I haven't updated in while...4 days until my birthday which is kinda whut else....well ya thats abut it for now I'll update in a few days...lata.

4 More Pills | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 3 July :: 8.58 pm
:: Mood: depressed and lonely
:: Music: Scars of Life

Really bored and depressed...not much to say =(
If anyone is good at journal and website layouts please contact me.

General Stuff to Know
What is your full name?: Ashley Marie Everts
Where were you born?: Palm Springs, Arizona
What is your birthday/age?: July 14, 1989 and I am 14 soon to be 15
Where do you live now?: Glendale, Arizona
What color are your eyes?: Aqua
Hair color?: Blonde
Height?: 5'1
Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrious?: righty
What is your Zodiac sign?: Cancer

What is Your Favorite...
Color?: Black
Day of the week?: Friday/Saturday
Season?: Spring
Time of day?: screw the day, I like the night
Place to visit?: Oregon
Food?: Ice cream
Ice cream flavor?: Anything Chocolate, except mint choclate chip I hate mint
Thing to do outside?: Horseback Ride

What is/are...
Something you hope to accomplish?: I am gonna get a good job make a lota money have a big house and be happy
Your biggest accomplishment?: hhmm....
Your worst fear?: spiders...and being alone
Some words/phrases you overuse?: uh i dunno you tell me
The best way to spend a day off?: sleeping of course or sitting in front of th TV watching good movies and stuffing your face =D
Your least favorite thing to have to do?: hhmmmm....dunno
Do you...
Get along with your parents?: usually with my mom and dad almost never
Smoke?: no
Drink?: mhm
Do drugs?: no
Play an instrument?: violin
Want to go to college?(if so, where?): hell ya
Want to get married?: maybe....
Want to have children?: fuck no
Get along with your siblings?: ehh, sometimes.
Cuss excessively?: yeah
Talk to yourself?: sometimes lol
Sing? Well?: sure

Your Friends -- Who is...
The craziest?: monica
The funniest?: theyre all funny
The smartest?: stephanie
The most outgoing?: leesha
The worst singer?: i dunno
The best dancer?: leesha
The most fun to be around?: all of them are fun to be with
The most trustworthy?: Amanda
The most dependable?: dunno
The worst secret keeper?: .............
The most shy?: Libby
The biggest pain in the ass?: they all are at times
The biggest Drama Queen?: depends
The loudest?: Monica
The most attractive?: i dunno

If you could...
Go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: Oregon
Have any car you wanted, what would it be?: I want a big black truck =) with big ass wheels and a kick ass sound system....along with some nice sports cars
Go on a date with any celebrity, who would it be?: good desil (spelling?)
Have one wish (no wishing for more), what would you wish for?: i would wish to be happy
Change ONE thing about yourself, what would it be?: my nose
Try anything once (hang gliding, skydiving, etc...), what would you choose?:hhhhhmmmmm Murder (or have them offed) one person (no consequences), who would it be?: I have a few people I would seriously have killed if I had the chance.
Be a superhero, what would your superpower be?: uhhm...the power to light people on fire if they pist me off =)
Meet any one person, dead or alive, who would it be?: one? uh oh...uhhm...Angelina Joile
Go back in time and fix one mistake, what would it be?: Theres a few but I wont get into that.

The last...
Dream you had?: Lat night I dreamt me and a friend were running across the world cuze out country was being attacked by terroists and we were hiding in diff countries, why i had this dream I dont know.
Nightmare you had?: few weeks ago...
Time you cried?: hhmm....i think a few weeks ago
Movie you saw in the theatre?: Spider Man 2!
Movie you rented?: Dunno
Person you talked to on the telephone?: my uncle, he fucking called at 9:30 and i cant go to sleep so here i am doing this survey
Time you laughed?: yesterday
Curse word you said?: fuck
Book you read?: I am reading "Tess of the dUbervilles"
Place you went?: my backyard
Song you heard?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh piano music
CD you listened to?: piano music
Person you yelled at?: dad
Person that yelled at you?: my dad
Time you played Spin The Bottle?: i've never played it. so uhh...iono.....
Year you went Trick-Or-Treating?: jesus uh....7th or 8th grade with Hill and Wendy lmao that was funny shit hahahaha wendy was a barbie Hill was a punk rawk girl and I was a gothic prostitude from hell lmao so funny
Drink you had?: uuuuhhhhhhhh Coffee

Have you ever...
Cried over a boy/girl?: yep
Toilet papered someone's house?: nah not yet
Egged someone's house?: nope
Played strip poker?: nope
Had a one-night stand?: nope
Gone skinny dipping?: yep
Been in a fist fight?: sadly not really
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no, anyone who cheats on their bf or gf should be shot and left to bleed to death if the bullet doesn;t kill you
Lied to your best friend?: mhm
Told someone something you weren't supposed to tell them?: probably, i cant remember a specific time tho
Cheated on an exam?: yep....thats how I passes English 4th quarter I cheated my way through and I got B =)
Skipped school?: yep
Streaked?: nope
Kissed a member of the same sex?: nope
Started a rumour about someone?: I dont think I start rumors...I just talk shit, especially when I am man
Stolen anything worth over $100?: nope

Your perfect man/woman:: long list
Your best friend in 3 words:: trustworthy, understanding, funny
What you wanna be when you grow up:: dunno something with computers, ya I am a computer nerd
The next fifteen years of your life:: i dunno
The best day of your life:: i dunno
How you're feeling at this very moment:: tried, thirtsy, pissed
Your favorite thing about yourself:: i tell me

7 More Pills | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 1 July :: 3.59 pm
:: Mood: sore

Hola I just got back from Lauren's place. I went there yesterday and her dad took us to Fashion Square where we saw Spider Man 2 which was really good and then we shopped around for awhile and then we went to Mimi's Cafe for Dinner which was cool cuze I haven't been there in a long time! On Monday I went shopping and got some clothes, woohu! My sister had a friend over for a few days and she was hella annoying but shes gone now so its all good. Ya today I am just gonna lay around the house and watch movies cuze I dont feel very good, then tomorrow I have a doctors appointment =/ Monica should be back this week from Mexico yay! HHMMM what else....ya this week is just gonna be kinda boring, we're having a party thing for the 4th of July whatever that day is on...not really fun but oh well 4th of July is never really fun lol. My birthday is coming up on the 14th ?yay? and Monica's is the 18th, its weird like alot of my friend's birthday are in the Summer time. My friend Amanada might be moving to Seattle =( hopefully she wont I need to call her later today and find out if the plans are finalized, I hope she doesn't leave I am gonna miss her, although is she does go I will be able to see her next time I go up to Portland, which hopefully wont be to long from now. I LOVE Portland it kicks ass, if you have never gone you suck and you need to go fuckface =D Ya well I am gonna go lay down for awhile leave a comment if you wish!

^Listen to the music and shit, shes really good she sounds a lot like Amy are some of Karen (the singer)'s pictures

7 More Pills | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 27 June :: 8.48 pm
:: Mood: Furious

I am so fucking angry right now you have no fucking idea you fucking bitches I am gonna say this one time for you specific individuals that you better fucking stay out of my way and fucking leave. God I am so fucking mad I cant type you fucking assholes, you worthless excuses for fucking human beings, you all should die and rot in the lowest pits of hell with satan. FUCK I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY NO I'M PAST ANGRY I AM FURIOUS YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE CAN YOU?!?!?!?! EVERYONE IS OUT TO HURT YOU AND KNOW ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE ELSE!

4 More Pills | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 26 June :: 8.11 pm
:: Mood: okay

"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...


I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

ĎCause Iím broken when Iím open
And I donít feel like I am strong enough
ĎCause Iím broken when Iím lonesome
And I donít feel light when youíre gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
Thereís so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

ĎCause Iím broken when Iím open
And I donít feel like I am strong enough
ĎCause Iím broken when Iím lonesome
And I donít feel right when youíre gone away

ĎCause Iím broken when Iím open
And I donít feel like I am strong enough
ĎCause Iím broken when Iím lonesome
And I donít feel light when youíre gone away

2 More Pills | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 22 June :: 10.26 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Kittie

People are fuckin ignortant morons who don't know when to leave me alone! I want to take everyone whose ever done anything bad to me and lock them up in a building and light it on fire so I dont have to deal with them ever again! GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR

1 More Pill | Give Me Happiness

:: 2004 20 June :: 9.42 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: My fan...

Its been boring lately which is why I haven't updated in awhile...started my summer reading for English, we have to read Wuthering Heights (I've seen the movie a billion times it kicks ass!) and Tess of the D'Ubervilles...both very long...*sigh* next year I am gonna have...
*AP World History
*AP English
*Intro to Human Relations
Gonna be a pain in the ass but it'll be worth it...uuuuuuhhhhhgggg my head hurts really bad I dunno why, I probly take some sleeping pills and go to bed in a lil bit, I was up late last night trying to watch a movie but I feel alseep at 1 (the movie started at 2) and then I woke up again at 5 and couldn't get abck to sleep. Tomorrow my mom and sis and my mom's friend are all going to Cina Capri to see Shrek 2 lol, Monica might be coming with us, not for sure yet. Ok thats enough for now I'll update later.

4View My BuddyProfile

Black Tangled Heart
by Silverchair

Maybe your luck has changed
Settle down
Maybe I'm just deranged
And on the rebound
Maybe love was the thing
Holding me back from all
Maybe I'm just the thing
To break my own fall

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

Maybe departure's good
Makes room for more
Start to mass produce
For a chance to ignore
Maybe you'll kill yourself
Before I get a turn
Maybe I'll fall in love
And never learn

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

Give Me Happiness | Random Journal