aaron - Woohu.com http://www.woohu.com/~aaron Woohu / Woohu.com http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608117 I sense in them a wealth of knowledge yet unattained. If I seek anything, it is completion. If I desire anything, it is to know wholeness. The Adam in me is hopelessly lost without Eve, yet strangely and supernaturally pacified. But it's temporal, in waiting. In expectancy. What He has done to prepare me has also stayed the flow of desire, but I am not cursed, I sense, to that wretched loneliness that, were I God, would not be forgiven me. There is something I can learn from them. We are cultures far apart, and rather than get them to see mine I should tell them what I see in terms of theirs. Learn a new language. In the context of my dad and I, we're nothing alike. In the context of everyone else...well, we're probably more alike than I would willingly admit under other, less humbling circumstances. ... I really like folk and soul. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=608117 Sat, 10 May 2008 23:54:37 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=607371 He never grows weary. He never let's up. He is never defeated. Time and time again I drive him back, chain him down, and run as hard as my legs can allow. How are you one step ahead of me? How can you keep your breath? And though I fall, I am not fallen. Though death seizes me, I do not die. Though I am struck, my body is whole. I am so weary of fighting him. I want him to just die...but he is me? Who is more myself? The zealous, devout, vengeful Lazarus? The indulgent, kniving, amiable Aaron? Both with virtue, both with vice. Never at peace. Always at odds. Hope is an odd thing..."Come all you weary, lay down your loads." Grace odder still. I am so grateful for all that I have, for the chance to fight this way, to see things from this vantage point. I don't know where this is going. I'm sorry? This is an apology. I've disgraced myself and my friends. Those dearest, those I've told I would guard. Time and time again I betray my intentions. But He is there, always beckoning, always welcoming, despite my flaws. I'm going to go to him now, when I feel most useless. "The Lion's outside of your door, the Wolf's in your bed. The Lion's claws are sharpened for war, the Wolf's teeth are red." http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=607371 Fri, 18 Apr 2008 02:07:24 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=607149 Now that I'm here, I don't ever want to look back All that any of this is really worth to me is just knowledge. Knowledge that my identity is not dependant on my short-comings. Knowledge that I fought the good fight. Knowledge that I did what was best regardless of the circumstance. Knowledge that as long as I don't lean on myself, my life is worth being proud of. Kameran had a really good idea. He took a dry erase marker and wrote all the reasons he was worth loving on his mirror. I should paint "Death Be Not Proud" on my bedroom wall. Death be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful for thou art not so. For those whom thou art thinkst thou dost overthrow die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me. For rest and sleep which but thy pictures be, much pleasure then from thee much more must flow. And soonest with thee our best men do go; rest their bones and souls delivery. Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men and doth with poison war and sickness dwell and poppy or charms can make us sleep as well or better than thy stroke. Why swellst thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, and Death shall be no more. Death, thou shalt die. Kirsten and I have had some really cool talks since then. Haha, the bus-ride, the sports movie, the chic flick, the red-bull, the elevator... It's amazing how much I appreciate my girl when I haven't been able to think of her that way for a week. The Mexico spirit is still alive, I think. I can see it in the way people still communicate so well now. It's a bummer that I'm going out of town on Friday, but Saturday night I can hang with them. And Sunday I should talk with Bob. Ah...seven thirty class tomorrow. Know what that means? Bed-time. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=607149 Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:31:18 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606804 I suppose there comes a point where every one who does this sort of thing asks this sort of question. Is it defining of me? Certainly not. But it is facing my past and giving up is surrendering to that past. So I can't give up. Never, ever, ever give up. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606804 Wed, 26 Mar 2008 00:28:40 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606665 TELL ME ARE YOU FREE WHILE THE GALLOWS STAND AND BULLETS LANCE THE BRAVEST LUNGS WILL I FOLD MY HANDS? OR HOLD MY TONGUE? OR LET THE FLAMES LICK AT MY FEET AND BREATHE IN FIRE AND KNOW I'M FREE? the flames will rise and devour me. To breathe in fire... ...and know I'm free http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606665 Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:06:57 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606624 I keep chasing myself in circles inside of my head. But it's not really going anywhere right now. I feel loved all of a sudden... out of nowhere some strong affection is raining down on me. So I'll take this moment of peace as an opportunity to get some sleep. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606624 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 02:40:34 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606623 I want to be Superman. But I'm not. I'm Paul. I can't fly in and save the day. I don't have some sense in the back of my head that tingles when I there's someone in distress. I haven't done anything that amazing. I haven't saved people from burning buildings. I haven't cured a disease. I'm not Superman. I'm Paul. I'm Paul. I'm Paul. What does that mean...? Ton Amie... haha She makes me feel so loved...you all do. I go on these crazy rants, and even though you don't say a word I know you read...at least sometimes. Thank you. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606623 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 02:29:05 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606096 Words really are sawed off shotguns. I can't hit just what it is... I see now by what isn't what is, and it makes me so grateful. That I have moved on, and that I am a new and different person. Knowing that, and loving what has become of my life. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=606096 Sun, 24 Feb 2008 01:48:53 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=604995 "I am not alone But powerfully alive so that desperate fear pales and fades before desperate love" http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=604995 Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:22:37 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=604818 Yesterday was really, really good. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=604818 Thu, 03 Jan 2008 09:43:50 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=603470 I feel like I should write something, for tradition's sake. I feel like the cliches should boil out of my skin and flow down to my finger tips, tattooing some private page with dreams of unfathomable perfection. I wait, yet nothing comes. The difference, perhaps? http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=603470 Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:19:57 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=603334 As flattered as I was by all the comments you guys left about Kirsten and I, I was getting a little weirded out. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=603334 Fri, 02 Nov 2007 12:21:37 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=603230 Watered by the blood of martyrs, blessed and blind as sons and daughters. Sleep with one eye open, live with both eyes shut. So let's find the place where sight begins and see the things that we saw when our eyes were bright and wet against the light. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=603230 Mon, 29 Oct 2007 12:18:38 EST http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=602987 It was a paralysis inducing beauty. I couldn't go. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=602987 Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:38:12 EDT http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=602952 My romanticism will be the end of me. http://www.woohu.com/readcomment.php?id=602952 Thu, 18 Oct 2007 10:47:46 EDT