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:: 2010 20 April :: 12.19am
:: Music: Time after Time - Cindy Lauper

Haven't posted here in a while.

College is way easier than I ever anticipated. Teachers are way better and lenient, and going to class doesn't seem like such a drag. It's funny, but it's not college that scares me most at this point, it's what comes after. I have to find a job here in the next couple weeks. I have to find a car. I have to start paying insurance and phone bills and balancing my bank account and actually... take care of myself. Up to this point I haven't had to. And while I'm scared to take that big step out of teenage fun and angst and into maturity and adulthood, I know I'm ready, because it's expected out of me not just by my parents and family, but of myself too. In the movie "Coach Carter" one of the characters says that their deepest fear isn't that they are inadequate, but that they are powerful beyond measure. Well, that isn't the case for me. My deepest fear is that I'll be inadequate. I somehow just have to find the motivation to say to myself "Hey man. Let's do this thing, and let's do it right." And then I have to find the strength to listen. Well, until the future presents itself, I'll just have to see.

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:: 2010 15 April :: 9.56pm

I wish I could vent and write about all my problems
like I used on woohu-but I've changed a lot since like age 15 when I first started using this and the difference is I actually care about keeping my personal life private. Sucks when you need an outlet though.


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:: 2010 13 April :: 8.19pm

does anyone know if i am on my computer and it just starts randomly doing stuff like my mouse moves on its own and/or my internet page i'm on goes "back" to another page or windows move around ..random stuff like that..

is it because i have a virus or something and if so what can i do?

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:: 2010 28 March :: 10.12pm

I'm jusr fettunng drunk wirg mt husband it isbt no crime hehehhhhhhheeeehheehehehe

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:: 2010 2 March :: 4.00pm

If you say "fair-i,ix" or "pacifically" onnnnne mooore timmme. Ugh

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:: 2010 2 March :: 3.54pm

Oh my goodness I wish my teacher could fricken pronounce words like 'pharynx' and 'specifically' and that this school didn't suck so much.

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:: 2009 7 October :: 6.20pm

couple things bugging me...

i feel like people lie to me

i feel like people are fake

apparently there are 3 cases of swine flu at my school but they dont tell anyone????


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:: 2009 10 September :: 10.39pm

does anyone know why when i connect to my home network on my blackberry- it says i'm connected and everything but my browser wont let me open any pages?

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:: 2009 10 September :: 5.08pm






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:: 2009 27 August :: 5.11pm

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

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:: 2010 19 August :: 5.08pm

i hate when people talk about their BLACK friends or their BLACK boyfriend loudly and often like... trying to prove that they have friends of another race or something... there's this girl that is constantly talking about her BLACk boyfriend and showing his picture and saying how she doesn't care what color people are ... "you could be purple. as long as you're cool"

that's nice and everything but i dont know it bothers me when people talk about it like they are trying to prove a point or something.


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:: 2009 13 August :: 11.58pm

i wish i had longer legs and perfect skin and


shitty shit. theres so much more to say but it doesn't even matter.

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:: 2009 8 August :: 12.36am

oh and i'm considering buying a spray tanning machine for like 200-300 bucks and like offering spray tanning services ...somehow... someway... i'm not really sure how it would work but it just seems like a good idea.................

i dont know.

because think about it, if i have a tanning package- that is bed tanning.. it costs me at least 40 bucks a month which works out to....woo! $480... yeah. thats a shit load.

now if i had a spray tanning package it would be even more.. let's say 60 bucks a month... $720..

now the machine is a one time fee. and as soon as i figure out how much the solution costs i can do some more math. but i know it would at least SAVE me money in the long run because i am never going to be okay with being naturally pale. i can't do it. i just feel icky.

and then i could like somehow do spray tan parties or schedule appointments i dunoooooooo maybe i could work something out with people that do purse parties or whats it called... pure romance. thats it. i could like do spray tans there

i dont fricken know i'm just thinking theres a good idea somewhere in there with all this bed tanning scares about arsenic and shit.

roman thinks i should start my own business i just dont know.


what do you think about a business that gives you a paycheck and when you go to cash it there are no funds in their account??? do you think that's shitty? i do.

thats why i fricken call them out on it and then they act like its no big deal so i get pissed. whatev........

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:: 2009 8 August :: 12.32am

i nevvvvvvvvverrrrrrrrr used to have a problem falling asleep. now it seems like i never can. i hope this is just a short phase because i love my sleep.

i just think it's really weird how different everyone is from each other. like i think it's weird i have friends that like, live with their parents whereas i am married and cooked a new mexican/noodle casserole thing for my HUSBAND tonight and like.... that was exciting.

it's strange how different everyone's lives are.

now if my job situation, money situation, and house situation could catch up maturity wise to the rest of my life... that'd be great.


ps. jessie kae i love you and i hope everything is getting better. call me when you are able.

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:: 2009 7 August :: 1.17pm

does anyone know of anywhere hiring?

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