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You would kill for this, Just a little bit, You would...

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:: 2011 1 January :: 10.38 pm

Come on and Come on and raise your glass!

[x]


:: 2010 31 December :: 1.40 am

I loved tonight :D

[x]


:: 2010 29 December :: 10.39 pm


One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my head
Trying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
too young to know i had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name
I just want to thank you
Thank you
From the bottom of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
'cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

[x]


:: 2010 11 December :: 7.28 pm

You seemed like a really great guy. You were sweet, funny, charming, you did things for me that no one has ever done before. I was really looking forward to you coming back to Michigan. I was looking forward to "us" again. I was really look forward to everything.
But, its funny how things can change so much within a few days. It's no wonder you never called me when you got back. Your girlfriend probably wouldn't like that. I just cannot believe how you raised my hopes so high, you sounded just as happy as me, then I find out you're dating some chick named Leslie. You have no idea how bad this hurts. I have not cried over a guy in such a long time, and yet I find myself doing just that right now. This is why I don't like to let my wall down, for anyone. It never fails. I end up alone, crying, hurt, angry, etc.


And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall...
Pour real life down on me....
Cause I can't hold on, to anything this good....
Enough. Am I good enough for you, to love me too?


So I just want to thank you. Thank you for wasting my time, my emotions, thanks for making me feel hurt and unwanted. Thanks for humiliating me.

P.S.- Fuck you.

1 Open Fire | [x]


:: 2010 8 December :: 1.02 pm

2 Open Fire | [x]


:: 2010 6 December :: 9.54 pm

[x]


:: 2010 6 December :: 9.00 pm

You're back, and that makes me happy. Now, I just have to see you. And you best know, I am giving you the biggest hug ever. :) I miss you. Hurry up and get down here :)

[x]


:: 2010 4 December :: 9.10 pm

Right now, I have no complaints. Finally content and happy. Let's see how long it lasts :)

[x]


:: 2010 28 October :: 12.54 pm










When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I was just a child in school
I asked my teacher what should I try
Should I paint pictures
Should I sing songs
This was her wise reply

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will there be rainbows day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

What will be, will be
Que sera sera...

[x]


:: 2010 19 October :: 12.24 pm

[x]


:: 2010 17 October :: 6.47 pm

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh Oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when your dead how people start listenin'

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls


[x]


:: 2010 24 September :: 10.32 pm

the situation is fuck retarded

[x]


:: 2010 20 September :: 10.01 pm

Wooo! Got my Marilyn Monroe dress and shoes!

[x]


:: 2010 9 September :: 10.41 am

And I wonder
Day to day
I don't like you
Anyway

And I don't need your
Shit today
You're pathetic
In your own way

I feel for you
Better fuckin' go away
I will be here
Better fuckin' go away

And I'm doing the best I ever did
I'm doing the best that I can
And I'm doing the best I ever did

And I don't need to
Fantasize
You are my pet
All the time

And I don't mind if
You go blind
You get what you get
Until you're through with mine

I fuckin' feel for you
(Better fuckin' go away)
And I will be here
You better go away

I feel for you
(Better fuckin' go away)
I will be here
You better go away

And I'm doing the best I ever did
I'm doing the best that I can
I'm doing the best I ever did
Now go away


:: 2010 15 August :: 12.54 pm

You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me, and please... believe me when I say, I love you

[x]


:: 2010 15 August :: 12.13 am

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you I love you until the end of time
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may come what may
I will love you oh i will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day

3 Open Fire | [x]


:: 2010 3 August :: 11.21 pm

A guy called me a bitch at work today. He looked 16, didn't have an ID so I didn't sell him chew. So he called me a bitch. And I don't know why, but I laughed like it was the funniest damn thing I have heard in a long time.

[x]


:: 2010 2 August :: 5.05 pm




I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

[x]


:: 2010 1 August :: 9.19 pm
:: Mood: amused

Adam Lambert has been like crack for me the past week.

[x]


:: 2010 31 July :: 3.58 pm
:: Music: Lily Allen

I could say that I'll always be here for you
But that would be a lie and quite a pointless thing to do
I could says that I'll always have feelings for you
But I've got a life ahead of me, I'm only twenty two

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
And now you've gone it as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

You always made it clear that you hated my friends
You made me feel so guilty when I was running around with them
And everything was always about being cool
And now I've come to realize there's nothing cool about you at all
Lily Allen Lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
And now you've gone it as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder,
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older,
And now you've gone it feels as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

[x]


:: 2010 31 July :: 3.48 pm
:: Mood: accomplished

Moving on, and it feels good. :)

[x]


:: 2010 27 July :: 11.31 am

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

I'm so stubborn
It's how I got here
So alone
Feels like forever
I wanna swim away
And breath the open air
But I feel so afraid
Then I hear you say

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

I'm so hungry
How can I stay here?
I'm starving
For what I hold so dear
Like a hurricane
It takes everything
From me
Wake me from this dream

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

Hang on
When you're barely breathing
Hang on
When your heart's still beating
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

Three days
Or thirty years
So hopeless
It doesn't matter
Don't say it's too late
If you blink your eyes
The sun is rising
The sun is rising

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

Hang on
When you are barely breathing
Hang on
When your hearts still beating
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

[x]


:: 2010 26 July :: 11.05 pm
:: Mood: drained

shfxnvmxasjf....i don't even know.
The new job is going good. I am working everyday this week except Thursday. The only bad thing about this job is being on my feet all day. I'm getting used to it though. It never fails, the gas station becomes empty, so I go to sit down, and as soon as my ass touches the chair, there's a customer. I have phrases like "Have a good Day?", "How are you?", and "Credit or Debit?" stuck in my head. I dream in PLU numbers. But, I do not regret starting there. Everyone's friendly, my boss and co workers are awesome and hilarious. It's very laid back. I like it. It's easy. But, first thing I need to get is my driver's license, then GED, then save money for the tattoo job next summer. And eventually, once all is taken care of, start looking at apartments. But, it's going to be a busy week. Luckily tomorrow is going to be very easy. My shortest shit yet will be tomorrow, only 2 hours. Not bad at all. My downtime consists of talking about booty calls and other dirty things with my boss. Love it. But, better get to bed. See ya.

[x]


:: 2010 23 July :: 11.57 am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: "Happy" By Leona Lewis

Fucking Doctors
Well, today sucks so far. I kept trying to get a hold of the Gastro office, when I finally got through I learned my Doctor doesn't work there anymore, and they have a note not to schedule me there anymore with anyone. Because I had to reschedule a few times. Excuse the fuck out of me, Life happens. The majority of the time my mom was not feeling well enough to drive me, and I cannot walk to Greenville. Fuck that. Whatever, the nurses and Secretaries there were bitches anyway. So luckily I found 3 highly respected Gastro Doctors that I need to call. I hope they accept my insurance, because I need to see a Gastro Doctor. But, onto another subject. My grandparents are picking me up later and we're going out to dinner, then tomorrow, I start work. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. No, it's not my dream job, but its a job and sure beats the hell out of working at a Fast Food place. I start tomorrow at 2, then end at closing time, 10. So, luckily I don't have to wake up earlier or a anything. Then next week Me and David might hang out, depends on my work schedule and a few other factors. But, I better get going. Bye.

2 Open Fire | [x]


:: 2010 19 July :: 10.52 pm

I think I might go nuts before wednesday

[x]


:: 2010 12 July :: 5.23 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

Ha! Back at square one.

[x]


:: 2010 10 July :: 5.42 pm


Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We're all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You got me this time but i'll get you back
So pick a number

To all the ones who tried the most was i supposed to cheer your efforts
Sorry that i chose so poorly
Golly gee am i the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They'd make an angels skin crawl
If you ask them for assistance
There's an even chance
You'll get a number

To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
You really had me
Going for a second i was nervous
Boy am i the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
Who was mine in '99 i want last names and current status
To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second
I was nervous boy am i the poster girl
For some suburban sickness
Better keep a healthy distance
Now its up to you know what to do
It's pretty dirty business

[x]


:: 2010 6 July :: 1.42 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Goo Goo Dolls

You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

[x]


:: 2010 1 July :: 2.19 pm
:: Mood: content

Is employed!

[x]


:: 2010 20 June :: 7.03 pm

Today= Moving Day.

[x]

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