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This is for kids worrying about the apocalypse.

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:: 2003 5 June :: 12.43 am
:: Music: smiths= paint a vulgar picture

Goals for the summer:

- Read more books. Stuff by Camus, Vonnegut, and Steinbeck. Tackle some of my dad's Asian books.

- Work out more. Get buff.

- Kick start the South Florida noise rock scene.

- Listen to a great deal of blues and jazz. Already stole my dad's Miles Davis and Robert Johnson albums. Have purchased Blind Willie McTell cassette off ebay for $.97 also.

- Figure out the whole Thriller music video dance routine. Then bust out the skills at Band camp.

- Write that "Advantages of Being a Music Nazi" novel I've been wanting to.

- Expand my Django Reinhardt, Nick Drake, Curtis Mayfield, and Velvet Underground record collection.

- Beat the game Bust-a-Move. 99 levels. Should be fun.

- Get rough draft done of my 80's New Wave play.

- See more old French films.

- Throw a shindig at my house at least once every two weeks.

- Start that Oi punk band with Cary and release first single "Enemy of the Skate" by end of summer.

- Drive around, bowl, and mini golf more.

- Two words: Substance abuse.

- Be a better friend, hoping that reciprocates back.

- Buy a Delorean.

- Find a good job where I might actually enjoy working at.

- Party like it's 1999.

Drew R.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 3 June :: 4.34 pm
:: Music: katrina and the waves

harkening summer in...
I used to think maybe you love me, now baby I'm sure
And I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door
Now everytime I go for the mailbox gotta hold myself down
Cause I just can't wait till you write me you're comin' around

Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
And don't it feel good, hey, all right now
And don't it feel good

I used to think maybe you love me now I know that it's true
And I don't wanna spend my whole life just a waitin' for you
Now don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day (no no)
I said baby I just want you back and I want you to stay

Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
And don't it feel good, hey, all right now
And don't it feel good

Walkin' On Sunshine Walkin' On Sunshine (yeah)
I feel alive, I feel a love, I feel a love that's really real
I feel alive, I feel a love
I feel a love that's really real I'm on sunshine baby, oh
Oh yeah, I'm on sunshine baby, oh

Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa oh
And don't it feel good, hey, all right now
And don't it feel good

I say it, I say it, I say it again, now
And don't it feel good, hey, yeah now
And don't it feel good
Now don't it, don't it, don't it, don't it, don't it, don't it feel good
I say it, I say it, I say it again, now

1 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 1 June :: 1.51 am
:: Music: yo la tengo- don't say a word


So two more days of exams and then it's time to get my proverbial groove on. By finding a job. And getting yelled at by my parents. Yeah, it's definitely time to get in the groove.

Today felt like the longest day ever. Woke up to go to graduation, and had my Vonnegut book taken away in the car by my mom because it "wasn't proper" to read during graudation. Inconsequential I guess. Then the whole ceremony was a waste of time, basically because everything that could go wrong went wrong. And I felt really dumb being the only one in all black. I need to stop trying to dress all mod and shit.

Wow, when I have to end a sentence with a "and shit," I must really be tired.

So then I went driving with Devin and Jake, which was pretty fun. We talked about my parents sex habits, which seems to be the default conversation piece for me. We then hit up Kim's graduation party. Twas a good time, even though I can barely walk on my right foot, since my toe has swelled up. It must have been from frugby I guess, even though I didn't do much. It also helped that Dan's 7-year old cousin stomped on my foot 4 times because I was a "dumbface." Man, I love kids.

Came home, crashed for about 3 hours and then watched some Mighty Ducks 3. Quite possibly the definitive piece of cinema in that great trilogy. Read some more Slaughter House Five, and now I'm here. Champion List?

Two things bugging me now though. For one, I need to lose weight. I may not be fat, but I'm nowhere near skinny, and this fact was compounded in seeing all the hotties at Kim's party. And number dos, why the hell does everyone seem to think it's ok to fuckin say to people that I'm in love with a girl I've talked to once. First of all, if I was her, I would be seriously weirded out/pissed off if I was her and seemingly everyone came up to me and talked to me about this kid named Drew. And secondly, it really gets me mad that people think it's ok to say that I'm in love with a girl I don't even know. Being attracted to a girl is not love. And then it's obviously ok to go tell that girl that I'm in love with her or even really like her, which isn't true, since I don't even know her well. Jesus, Mrs. Kerr even told her that I loved her. But what do I know? I'm just a kid who's in "love" with someone I've talked to once. And I dislike Rufio, so I guess I'm double the worthless.

But besides those two things, I'm content with life. I really think I will write a lot this summer, if everything goes correctly. Oh, and Thriller is seriously one of the best albums I've ever heard.

Peace babe.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 28 May :: 12.09 am
:: Music: Minutemen-God bows to math

Hi, how are you babe? My weekend was great. I was really happy, and I have no reason why. My parents thought I was high, which most mean I'm a winner. Seriously, if I wasn't coughing up a lung or two, I would feel great right now.

I am psyched for school almost being out. But I must find a job, or it's manual labor at the Morikami, as stated by my dad. My choices for occupation ideally are:
1. Panera Bread
2. Jersey Mike's
3. Abortion Clinic
4. Queen Latifah's lover
5. Priest

I'm leaning towards number 1, since I could actually walk there from my house. And Maria works there, so I would know someone. Holla.

I'm greatly expanding my Minutemen catalog. This is a fine band, I must say. Mike Watt is quite ace when it comes to the bass. I mean, I know they aren't as hardcore as Poison the Well, but of course, who is?

Until next time, I bid you a fond farewell.

Drew R.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 14 May :: 11.06 pm
:: Music: arab on radar-birth control blues

"We are proud to announce the recipient of these year's award. It usually is a tough process to pick the best out of a long list of well qualified canidates, but this year was different. One kid stood head and shoulders above the rest. One kid demonstrated unmatched profiency in this field. One kid was the most worthless kid of the year.

What hasn't this kid done this year to deserve this honor? After a great rookie performance last year, he entered the year with a chance to be the most worthless. And boy, did this kid take advantage of this chance. His work as a music nazi this year was stellar. His lack of self-confidence was awe-inspiring. His ability to whine to his friends time after time almost brought tears to judges eyes. This kid makes being worthless an art form.

But what sets this kid apart from other deserving canidates? Well, loook no further than the last month's experiences. In less than 30 days, he managed to alienate one of his friends. He managed to get his ass kicked by a group of lizzie mcguire lovers. His crotch region was punched not once, not twice, but three times by his 7 year old cousin. And to top it off, he managed to look like a total fool when it comes to women. By attaching an idea of a perfect girl to a certain female, he managed to like a girl. And what does he do to get this girl? He tells his friends about it, which gets spread to kids who weren't his friends, which gets spread to the girl herself. He proceeds to make a mockery out of his life by contnuing to talk about her in school and in his online journal. Finally, after all this time, he realizes that the girl doesnt like him and probably thinks he's a stalker. To get a girl you like to think you are a stalker, even when you aren't, well, that takes some skill. His name will probably go down in the history of the world biggest waste of oxygen ever. We can only hope. So we are proud to announce this year's winner of Most Worthless Kid of the year, the one, the only, Drew Rosensweig. Give him a round of applause."

6 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 8 May :: 12.51 am
:: Music: Nas

School is utterly pointless these days. I can barely find the motivation to get up to go anymore. If it wasn't for my friends, I don't think I will leave the comfort of my sheets. And sometimes the appeal of my amigos is not so appealing.

I wrote an emo short film. Here's the script:

Afro haired boy walks into classroom. He adjusts his black thick-framed glasses. He notices a short haired girl chewing gum and looking at an Early November lyric book.


Early November Girl
What do you drive?

Erm, I don't have my license. My mom says it's unsafe to drive before you're 19.

Well, consider the odds.

What about the obvious?

Do you have an online journal?

I have a deadjournal. It's called "TheplaceIhavecametofearthemost69."

That's hot. Are you sXe?

Well, my mom thinks I'm sexy.

Want to go to the beach and watch the sunset?

Omg, that sounds awesome.

Enter Punk Rawk Kid.

Hey, what's punkin?

Oh, nothing much. Just talking to my frie...

Punk Rawk Kid punches Afro Boy in the face.

Shut up queer. Hey babe, want to go get drunk and philosophy?

Sure. Your liberty spikes are hot.


The end.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 28 April :: 11.58 pm
:: Music: nick cave- the mercy seat

You can think what you want, but I have and always will say that Dinosaurs carried ABC's TGIF lineup.

Yep, so I am waiting for an EBAY auction to end. 15 minutes in counting. I need more money. Lots of it. This PSA was brought to you by capitalism.

"Capitalism: Hey, at least it's not monarchy."

What the heck? What song is now playing on my windows media player? Oh my, it's Born in the USA, by the Boss. My mind wants to turn it off, but I am too lazy to do so.

I just saw an Even Stevens very close to my heart. It's the one with the kiss, and Louis and Tawny go out. When Louis says to Twitty at the beginning "I know I cherish her, but what happens if she is disgusted by me," regarding his feelings for Tawny, well that hit close to home.

Sometimes I just wish I could say what I wanted to say to the person I wanted. But there is no courage in this broken man. Why don't I just settle for less and date girls who I know like me? Because that would be the easy way I guess. I have set my sights on the pinnacle of women at Atlantic in my eyes.

What the hell am I saying? I am talking total nonsense about a girl who I don't even know. I don't know her personality, her likes, her dislikes, her history. This is very unlike me. I truly feel like a moron for saying stuff like "she's true love" or "i want to marry her." Those phrases should be saved for only Tawny Dean or Queen Latifah. Not to be used on girls who I didn't even know existed until a month ago. God, I have no worth anymore I think. i guess I like her because she's the first girl at the school who has caught my eye and made me stop and look back at her, wondering if it was possible for beauty like that to exist in a high school. Maybe it's the fact that instead of thinking sexual thoughts about her, like
I would do with an average girl, I think instead of just hanging out with her, talking, watching movies, etc. Or maybe this is what it's like when doves cry.

oh man, this is a pretty good song. Born in the Usa i mean. Catchy, good singing. And if you think its patriotic, then die.

I won the auction. Yippie. Next item to win: a life.

Sic transit gloria

drew r.

2 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 28 April :: 12.58 am

The nightly grind
These were days said to be cherished. She took this advice to heart in the early hours of the day. Waking from a state of peace, life shined in through the window. Caffeine and cigarettes consumed the AM for her. Pondering last night was always her favorite game. Where, when, what? However, this game had become the same; a never-changing pursuit of the truth. The heat, the passion, the consent; non-existent for as long as she could remember. Every once in awhile she would recall a moment of happiness. But it was as fleeting as a winter's warmth. She found a measure of peace in the mess her life had become. It took an enormous amount of strength to notice but to not act up. Babysitting someone else's sins was her job. Suddenly a feeling of nausea would come over her and cause an upchuck of last night's deeds. She was never fazed by it though; it was just her conscience acting up again. Good days were few and far betweeen. She never could find happiness, for when you give it out nightly for ninety dollars an hour, there's not much left. She would eventually pass out sometime in the waning hours of sunlight, tired from playing hide and seek with her soul. The sirens were a fitting wake-up for her, beckoning a second 9 to 5 shift for the world. Everyday she wished that when she would wake up, it would be somewhere, anywhere else. She had heard as a child then when you wished upon a star, it would come true. Sadly, the sky was not visible from her apartment. Grabbing her purse and two tablets, she didn't bother with make-up; no one ever cared about her visage. Fighting back tears, she opened and closed the door. It was time for work.

variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 26 April :: 12.59 am
:: Music: Pixies- Holiday Song

I would just like to say this: In Lil Kim's video, "The Jump-Off," when she talks about her 23 inch rims, and they cut to a member of her posse with measuring tape showing that her rims are indeed 23 inches, well, that's easily the best moment in music video, ever.

Ian, I want your spud gun.

You know, I actually thought that song with Ja Rule and Ashanti, where she's like " I love it when you look at me baby," was a sweet song. So I decide to download it today, and the first rap he throws down is "I got a fetish for fucking you with your skirt on." Ja Rule obviously is trying to fight Shakespeare for the title of "sweetest romance lyricist."

The next kid who comes up to me and asks me " Hey, you're wearing a Pixies shirt. Are they some sort of a queer band?" will die. No one has actually done that to me, but if they did, oh man, I would bring the pain.

In a related story, I have found a girl who is rather attractive in my book. But what's the point? I never get a chance to talk to her, and she's too pretty for me to ever even think about being able to date her, so I just need to kill this petty schoolgirl crush before it gets bigger.

Oh geez, I'm listening to Crash Test Dummies now. Wow.

sic transit gloria

drew r.

3 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 24 April :: 11.04 pm
:: Music: Love

Personally, I'll take any Amanda Bynes film over your favorite film anyday.

I'm sold; half days are nice. "What a Girl Wants" with noah, andrew, shane, and holly. Great film. Getting spat on. Not fun. Saying Lizzie McGuire is ugly in a car full of Lizzie fans granted me one of the best ass-kickings of my life. Oh, and Interpol kills Bright Eyes.

If I live a thousand lives, and I never stand outside a girl's house playing "In Your Eyes" on a boombox, my existence will have been completely worthless.

Hey, remember the time I finally found a girl who I found was actually pretty, and then I realized I've never talked to her? Good times.

I figure this is my plan of action:

Me: Excuse me miss, what's your name?
Her: why do you want to know?
Me: You're so contagious; I can't take it. Have my baby, let's just make it.
Her: What?
Me: So hot to trot.

the end.

drew r.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 22 April :: 11.48 pm
:: Music: massive attack

Could someone please help me? I know that after the show is the afterparty, and after the afterparty is the hotel lobby. But what's after the hotel lobby?

Anyways, life has been drifting along. Easter break was okay. The gathering at my house was fine. Wasabi is not fun. And I have no idea why Vivi and Sara hated Pulp Fiction. Oh yeah, I forgot; no one was having intercourse with a pie in it.

Saturday involved going out with krystal and paul to meet up with like a kajillion people at megans house. It was a little dumb, basically because it wasn't my crowd. Don't get me wrong, they were all nice kids, I just felt out of place.

I hate easter. Between getting slapped in the pubile region by my 6 year old cousin and having my crazy grandma ask me to kill
the pimp who lives across the street from her in Leiseurville, i disliked the get together with the family.

Empire Records is a vastly overrated film. I don't care if you disagree, because that's the point of opinions.

I enjoy Spanish class, where I get to serenade all the black girls who sit in the back with me to the tune of "Excuse Me Miss." Never underestimate the power of Pharrell Williams when it comes to the ladies.

I'm finding it harder and harder to let the Pixies or A Tribe Called Quest leave my cd player.

I have made it my goal this summer to write and finish a screenplay. I have my new wave play almost half done, but I've digging this new idea I came up with last week. And the Back to the Future 4 script needs some work. I am thinking about toning down the drug use and adding a child pornography side story to it.

I must bid thee farewell.

Drew R.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 13 April :: 1.05 am
:: Music: abbey road

Sometimes, I just wish I could grab my 5 favorite albums, get on a bus, and just ride to New Mexico. Sadly, the real world has already let me know that this will never happen. College, jobs, life; all are barriers that can't be overcome by my failing spirit.

It seems like every Saturday night makes me feel so worthless. I feel like I should be part of Winners Inc. since I stay home. I don't know why this feeling has culminated in my 15th year all of the sudden. Maybe I have become spoiled the last 5 months, feeling like a cool kid by going out with people. But the feeling is fleeting. Sure, I still go out some nights. Such as Friday, which was a fun day. But even then, I get yelled at by my parents for no reason I or they can think of. And then my parents are shocked when I say I may go out- get this - two night in a row. It didn't matter though what they felt about my consecutive nights of being out of the house; I didn't go out, since there was no ringing of my phone tonight.

I really need to get out of this funk.

Of course, it's hard to get out when you can't see an exit. I hear countless times a day about how I'm so "fuckin mean" to a certain person that I just want to punch them in the face everytime the words grace my ears. If I'm not hearing that, it's someone else telling me how I'm "so in love" with another kid. I'm truly sorry that I wrote one sincere thing in my journal that involved him and his band. Of course that must mean I want to marry him and be just like him.

Oh god, I have started whining in my journal, breaking one of my cardinal rules. Damn, I need to go find some Atom and his Package lyrics quick.

So what are some remedies for my situation? How can I become hip so people will call me very Saturday to hang with me?

1. First off, I need to fall in love with Conor Oberst. That's the cool thing to do.

2. Interpol? Who? Drop that shit and buy a Starting Line album.

3. Buy a digital camera. If I can't take pictures of all of my friends and post them online, then I'm not a real friend

4. Change the last name to something cooler, like Bixler, or Schwerdt.

Please, don't take anything in this entry personally. If you think it's about you, there's a good chance it's not. It's just one of those patented Drew rants.

sic transit gloria

drew r.

9 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 10 April :: 11.44 pm
:: Music: slanted and enchanted

I love when my computer dies. Yep, it gets me reacquainted with the old computer from 1995. That has the memory of a floppy disk, and runs as fast as well, of something really slow.

This week has been pretty good. Today afterschool Devin, Jake, Ian, and Sara came to my house. We went to the beach. It was fun, great day to just sit by the ocean. Makes me yearn for summer.

Support Winners Inc. Cary and I have taken it upon ourselves to help find new members for this elite organization. Please, the next time you bump into a worthless kid, tell them about this fine organiztion.

I think I need to get a few shirts. I hate this fuckin sweatshirt that I wear everyday.

Devin was born to play Marty McFly. I am going to be the best director ever. Filming starts this summer. I need a good Doc still. Any takers? My next project after that hopefully will be Ghostbusters 3: Still Bustin Ass.

I'm tired

Drew R.

5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 7 April :: 7.38 pm
:: Music: velvet underground- who loves the sun

And now I present to you, the next cinematic classic:

written by drew r.

Black Screen. Suddenly that weird little chime noise is made.

Fade In on a wristwatch. It ticks. It tocks. It ticks. It tocks. Zoom out to reveal Marty McFly sitting on a park bench. He looks older than when we last left him. He is slightly dirty and looks as if he hasn't shaved in a month. There's a bottle of tequilla on one side of him and a few used syringes on the other side. He is reading the newspaper.

MARTY ( to himself)
Holy Spin City! I can't believe it's already 1995. What happened to me? I used to be a rebel slacker who dated a hot girl named Jennifer, who inexplicably changed physically over the course of a day. Now look at me. I'm a burnt out bum who can't go a day without booze.

And you're addicted to crank.

Ah yes. Thanks for reminding me. It seems like such a long time since I went back to the future. Or was it back to the past? Or back to the present? Damnit!

Marty takes a long swig from the bottle of tequilla and pops a few vicodin.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightening flashes and a Pinto drops from the sky. The door is opened half way, it seems to be jammed. A few " Son of a bitchs" are heard emanating from the Pinto. Finally the door is opened completely, and a figure steps out.





And so on.

Marty,we've got to go back!

Back where Doc?


He points at the screen.
To the future!

Honestly Doc, what the fuck are you talking about? I see you haven't quit that speed habit you had back in the 80's.

Listen Marty, we have no time. We have to save the world.

What did you do Doc, start a war or something?

No, worse. I had sex with your mom in 1955, and my lively sperm impregnanted your surprisingly slutty mother. This has caused a huge error in the time-space continium.

Man, I knew my mother was loose, but Jesus! That's horrible Doc.

Yeah, this is heavy. Now come on, let's roll.

Why do you need me on this adventure? This sounds like all you have to do is go back to 1955 and keep your penis in your pants.

Well you, flux capicitor...Great Scot...time travel...just get in the fuckin car Teen Wolf.


5 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 6 April :: 1.12 am
:: Music: elvis costello-everyday i write the book

"An Ode to the Day That Was Close to Being the Epitome of Worthless"

Awaking at 11 am
From a night's slumber
I recalled my dream I had waked from
In which I was at a concert
And a fire broke out
As I watched all my friends get burned in front of my eyes
A feeling of hopelessness overcame me
Suddenly my 80's mix came on my stereo
And as I heard the opening riff of the Queen is Dead
I realized my alarm had saved me from this horrible dream
As I came to my senses
I was relieved to find I had not wet the bed
Oh wait, I had
Damn I thought
I really don't like the feeling of waking up in my own bodily fluids
Waking up in Austin Pelala's bodily fluids on the other hand
Well, thats another story
But back to my day
I waited for the next 5 hours
For a call that would never come
A feeling that I have become used to
Over the past 15 years of my life
Soon I scoured the pantry for some food
No more Cheez-its
No more Boo Berry
Just Reduced Fat Wheat Thins
Boxes and boxes of those infernal things
I settled on a month old Frosty
And reclined on my couch
Passing out with the sounds of Swingers in the background
By the time I woke up, it was 6
So I called up noah to see if he would give me his Coheed ticket
There was a resounding no dice emanating from the other end of the phone
Rejected and lonely, I thought of taking 22 Tylenol Cold tablets
But I had an even better idea
I called up Justin D. Schaffer
Knowing he was probably in his Looney Tunes boxers watching the Food Network
I figured he would pick up
To my delight he answered
And within 30 minutes he was at my house
Guitar in one hand
McDonalds in the other
We laughed
We jammed
We called Ryan Nagel
All in all good times
Thanks go out to him
The only kid who didn't go to the concert
Who also wanted to hang with me
So as I listen to Trin tell me about her lost and now found ferret
I think to myself
Real friends are the ones who don't even know or care about Coheed and Cambria

sic transit gloria

drew r.

8 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 31 March :: 11.59 pm
:: Music: the church-under the milky way

I'd just like to say this: R. Kelly's song Ignition(Remix) is possibly the greatest contribution to music ever.

Now that the obvious is stated, I can drop it like its hot.

My brother decided to spill Mr. Pibb on my keyboard and mouse while he was down from college. Thanks bro. And guess who was blamed for it? Well, you know it could never be my mom's Harvard man!

Justin came and picked me up on Saturday and we had lunch. It was goodto talk with him after about 3 months of not seeing each other. Then we saw sara, whitney, and kiera, and tryed to give them a ride to the mall, but they refused the offer for an unknown reason.

Do you ever get the feeling that all the people you hang out with don't actually care abot you. I mean, they spent time wih you and talk with you, but if it came down to the truth, they don't have any feelings for you. As if they look down upon you and talk about you behind your back. I don't know, I just wish I felt the people who I consider my best friends also considered me as one of theirs.

One of the good things about my brther being down was the act I go to hang out with his good friend Max. Let me give you some backstory on Max:

-scored a 1590 on SAT
-Didn't come to school the last semester of his senior year becausehe was "tired"
-Is in love with percocets, which he calls magical yummy juice.
-great guitar player
-Had a scholarship to a great liberal arts school up in NY, but dropped out and is now going to FAU

Anyways, as I listened to his stories about bringing vodka to his AP exams as a senior and getting like perfect scores on them, I began to wonder. Was this kid wasting his vast amounts of potential? I mean, this kid is smart enough to be helping the world, yet decides to just play guitar and take philosophy classes at FAU. He seems to enjoy his life though. But it made me think: am I wasting all my potential. Now, I don't think I'm that smart even though my parents say I am. I know I'm not Harvard material. My parents say I should work harder and be in ib. Instead, I coast by in honors classes and write. My parents say I should use my knowledge to be a lawyer or some shit like that. I just want to be a writer. I don't feel bad about what I'm doing in life; should I? Because if what I'm doing is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Wow, what a killer last sentence.

sic transit gloria

drew r.

10 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 20 March :: 1.07 am
:: Music: ted leo and the pharmacists

update in order

Saturday was the Fallen Fom the Sky show with the Kerrs and Noah. Good car ride footage.

Sunday was the Pete and Pete party at Cary's. Good times sir.

Monday was my shindig. Great fun. Glad most of my friends could come. Also glad that people could see the sheer genius of Donnie Darko. Thanks to the garbarinos, the kerrs and holly for the 48 biscuits from KFC.

Tuesday was the watching of the Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys. Meh.

Wednesday was the day I learned I needed an external hard drive if I wanted to store and make new videos.

Other things that have happenend:

-I've entered 5 NCAA march madness contest thingys. Considering I haven't watched or followed any college basketball this year, I feel confident that I can predict the winners.

-I've scrapped my screenplay I had been working on for the last year. It was 57 pages long, but it was chock full o' horrible writing and cliched characters. I am now trying to write a new one that is about adolesence and redemption. Because those topics haven't been covered before. sigh. Why can't I ever make a great and imaginative movie?

-Waking up at 5:56 in the morning, on your couch, with your spinal tap dvd playing may be the greatest feeling. Ben, I know you can vouch for this.

-The one song I want from Donnie Darko, the song playing over the end credits, is unfindable.

Well, I'm tired. If anyone wants to do anything the next few days, just call me.

drew r.

1 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 17 March :: 11.27 am


its at 6 pm. goes till like 11 or 12. refreshments. movies. the garbarinos. i have a dog. looks like wishbone. if you like wishbone, you will probably like my dog. bye.

4 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 15 March :: 3.58 pm
:: Music: tom waits

I haven't really updated in awhile. I have been trying to make journal not so stupid, but I don't think it's working.

School is out. Cool. I think this spring break may actually be good.

Shane's party was fun. Bowling was awesome. I am so horrible at bowling. And moonwalking. And everything. When Noah and Andrew walked in with the gigantic hats, I almost pissed myself.
Andrew was nice enough to take me home since I had no ride. I thoroughly embarassed myself by trying to sing still paradise. I will never try to sing again.

Also, it was nice to see mallorie. It is weird to think my friend could be dead right now.

I dont know why, but i have been a little depressed the last few days. I shouldnt be though, which is why i am a little weirded out. I just feel uncomfortable with myself. i should probably just accept my position in life. I dont know, i dont like to cry about stuff, so i wont.

Film festival, monday, my house. I can only fit about 16 people, at the most in my tv room. So i figure people can jump into my pool if they wont or rummage through my underwear drawer in my room.

Drew R.

2 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 11 March :: 10.32 pm

Can you say liner notes?
"Adastra-Latin for We Steal Your Girlfriends."

Everyone few generations comes a band that changes people's lives. For some it was the Beatles, for others it was the Clash. Then there was the Pixies, and Nirvana. However, it looks as though that torch has been passed to a new band. A band so hot it makes a Buffy marathon look like a Golden Girls marathon. This is of course the one and only Adastra.

I first met Andrew and Noah in my math class on my
second day at high school. They sat down right beside me for reasons unknown. I remember Andrew talking a lot, about the most random things, and Noah piping up with a "Yeah" or "Sweet." At first I didn't listen to what was being said. But when Andrew proclaimed in the second week of school that "N'Sync has some phat beats,"
I laughed out loud. Andrew seemed actually proud to get this quiet freshman like me to laugh at him. From then on, I began to listen everyday. As the year progressed, I heard them talk about music, which introduced me to new bands I hadn't even heard of. In Noah, I met a kid who knew as much as about Zoog Disney shows as I did. Math soon became my favorite class, and not because of the actual work. It was my only opportunity to hang out with the funniest kid I knew at the school and nicest kid I knew at the school. Even the times when they ripped into Tenacious D or my dandruff, I still found it funny. They were both part of the cool kids; they didn't need to be nice to me. But they were, and that's what sets them apart from most so-called cool kids.

I was introduced to Ben during band that year, and never really got to know him well while he was at Atlantic. But as I became better friends with Noah, I talked to Ben more, and learned that he was a really nice and funny guy, just like his younger brother. Keith on the other hand, well, I just recently started talking to him when he came to Atlantic this year. He soon proved to be a different guy than his brother in someways. A little more shy, a little more quiet, he still is a great guy, like his older bro. They seem to be a great foil to each other, and both groups of brothers actually seem to love each other. There is a strong bond of friendship between the two that I learned goes way back. It's nice to know a band where the members are good friends.

I have never really talked to Nick, but he has been nice to me. And jesus, that squirrel is crazy.

As a band, when I offered to film them, they were cool with it. And seeing how good of musicians they were really opened my eyes to a new side of all of them. I knew that they were musicians before, but first-hand viewing of them exposed me to a talent not often seen in local band. I can actually say that I have seen the ups and downs of their short history. I witnessed some of their first practices, when they didn't even have a name. I was there when they had their first public performance, at the Pompano Indoor Skatepark, and kind of, well, sucked. And of course I was there when they played the Factory, and amazingly won the battle of the bands with their best performance. If there was ever a more clear example of the talent in Adastra, it would be in the fact that they won a battle of the bands without even being around for two months.

So as they go to the studio to make their first cd demo, which could lead them to stardom, I write this. Even if they don't become big, or just break up in the next few months, it won't matter to me. Becasue this is one of the few times in my life when I can say that the experiences were worth it.

drew r.

*This is not to be intended as kissing ass. These are just my feelings about the band and its members. Sho liz.

2 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 9 March :: 9.42 pm
:: Music: flaming lips- funeral in my head

So there she was. Crying in the dark. With every tear, my heart pumped faster. I overcame the doubts running in my head, and put my legs in motion. Hopefully by the end of the night they wouldn't be the only thing in motion. A kleenex was gently dabbing beneath her eyes. When we came into close proximity, she slowly looked up at me. Was I unrecognizable still to her? She only knew me as the kid in the back of the classroom, wearing Echo and the Bunnnymen shirts. She only knew me as the guy who only talked about the new David Lynch movie with the other outcast in our grade. She only knew me as the guy who gazed at her from afar. Of course I only knew her as the love of my life. I wished every night that she was my destiny, but sadly, I don't think I was hers. Her fate was fast cars, rich models, and wild intercourse. My fate was Pintos, a picture of the Olsen twins, and sympathy shags from 62 year olds.

But as her visage came into my sight, I saw a different girl. A vulnerable one. And then came the words I longed to here. \"Hi.\" Everything I had dreamed of was in that one syllable. I conjured up all the fortitude from my subpar genitals, and skipped the words. I firmly planted my tongue in the place where only her teeth resided. I thought for sure that this tonsil ecstasy would only last for two seconds, at the most. But to my surprise, we stayed locked in this position for at least a minute. Finally our lips retreated, and I sat down next to her. I spoke what would we be my first and last words to her. "Why are you crying my dear?\" Her glum face turned to me and let it out. "Well, my ex boyfriend gave me the Herp." I quickly ran away, thinking that bonking 62 year olds didn't sound so bad after all.

2 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 3 March :: 11.50 pm
:: Music: ozma

andrew k. says everyones journal entries are dumb. Never has he been more right. I mean, all I do is post nelly lyrics, write my own shitty lyrics, and talk about how i want to marry vanessa carlton. and i get 5 comments. cary on the other hand writes some really smart entries a lot of times, and no one comments on his journal. But vivi is the big winner; she writes a one sentence entry and gets 25 comments. These are some weird times.

So I really dont know what to do with my woohu journal. I dont want to just bitch about my life, and i dont think i want to just post lyrics. I don't know, I guess my current dumb format is here to stay.

I like getting hate comments on my journal.

this should be set in stone:

People can not discuss the following without getting into an argument: Sports, music, religion, and politics.

I realized this from two separate occurences today:

1. The "punk rawkers" in my english class calling cary a music nazi. Jesus, cary was just trying to tell them a few bands they should listen to. But no, they didnt want to hear anything but their beloved good charlotte.

2. My brother and I discussing why to like music. I asked my brother to download some coheed and cambria and some trail of dead. So he tells me he haed them both, because they were not "innovative."
For one, in trail of dead's case, thats not true. I'll definitely agree that coheed is not doing many things that are new, but they still are enjoyable. So the quetion is this: does a band have to be doing something new to be enjoyable?
While some of my favorite bands, such as the clash and the pixies, were innovators, i also like bands that didnt exactly create a new musical revolution. I just like what sounds good to me. I know that is very simple and trite, but it's the truth. Isn't music an escape, a way of expressing yourself through someone else's poetry?

Oh god, I think my entry just turned into Almost Famous.

That's my cue to leave.

sic transit gloria

drew r.

28 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 23 February :: 1.35 am

Another great night.

Went to the show, and wow. Adastra was totally on tonight. They were the best I've ever seen them, easily. There was some technical difficulties on the first song, but when they got to the break in their second song, they just turned it on. The still paradise cover was amazing and they finished perfecly. When I heard them say Fallen From the Sky came in second, i knew that they had won. I was really excited for them, even though im not in the band. I guess when you are friends with people and you see them have success, it makes you feel successful too. I just wanted to say to ben, noah, or any other members of adastra who may be reading this, congratulations, and you definitely deserve this award and other other future praise.

The guys from Fallen From the Sky were really nice though. And morning wood should be called morning shit.

Car ride to dennys was fun. I talked to holly for basically the first time, and shes a nice girl. Slightly hyper, to say the least.

Dennys was weird, there were so many people there. It took a really long time to get my food. Jose is really cool. Ben is really cool. Whitney is really jewish.

Then i traveled to noahs. Was fun. crystal is crazy. noah is a good guy. the dog at their house punched me in the lower crotchal region, which sucked. It was good chilling out.

Anyways, I'm tired. Just wanted to say great job adastra one last time. It may seem like overkill, but i am truly happy for you.


8 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 22 February :: 12.18 am
:: Music: pavement-our singer

Good week.

This week went by really quickly, which was good. Had some interesting talks in some of my classes with a few kids.

Today I went to the house show at andrews. good times. Got to sing some poison the well. My voic is absolutely dead from doing the most bizarre high pitched hardcore scream/squeal. I think it shocked everyone when i stepped up to the mic and let loose a sound that seemingly was sent from hell and delivered to me to unleash on everyone there. Okay, i dont think it was that epic or mythical.

had some good times driving with ian. He decided at one point to drive on the sidewalk. needless to say, when I get my license, I'm going to take driving lessons with him. I'm psyched fr the show tomorrow. Adastra sounded the best I've ever heard them, and I think they have a good chance to win tomorrow, as long as the judges arent brainwashed by all the Fallen from the Sky fans.

I'm going to write more lyrics for my pseudo-acoustic solo act, but I'm changing the name from I pity the drew. Any suggestions, besides from cary?

I was just watching tv with my dad, and we came across Sex and the City. I told him to stop because Kristen Davis rocks my world. It was all going fine, until the started talking about vibrators. Needless to say, my dad and I both felt awkward. my dad turned off the tv because he didnt want to hear 40 year old women talk about how they loved vibrators. Of course, is there really any other kind of forty year old woman?

1 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse

:: 2003 20 February :: 11.08 pm
:: Music: at the drive in-Non-zero possibility

hi, my name is Drew R. and my favorite punk band is Bachman Turner Overdrive.

2 have doubts | variations on the age-old curse | Random Journal