godessalthena
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2023 19 August :: 7.01am
it's all burning down.
and I'm going up in smoke right with it.
I can't express the depths like I can't express these breaths.
I am a fundamentally damaged person, and maybe I'm broken completely?
what good am I, anyway..?
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godessalthena
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2023 24 July :: 2.45pm
been sitting back and watching the flux of the universe
ebbing and flowing, bringing bounty and ruin
through the chaos, bubbles form in the matter
sparking a sense of organization and meaning once lost on me
despite the constant flood of bad news and terroristic acts, my heart has found a raft in his love
weather beaten and storm torn, I still feel stunning and resolute when his baby blues rest lovingly upon my corpulent frame
I just want to be better every day to make him proud of me, because I want to be proud of me, because I believe in the him that believes in me
we are all living on a spiral, and instead of out, I am lovingly spiraling up
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godessalthena
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2023 7 July :: 2.03pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
I am now a Mrs! we eloped on Tuesday because the small group we invited to the ceremony started getting very... selfish? so we just did our own thing. we had sushi at our favorite restaurant and everyone got along and had a beautiful time.
the fire pit and patio are huge successes!! we have had 4 fires so far, and I just can't get enough toasted marshmallows. our butterfly garden is starting to really take off, but some critter keeps coming in at night trying to fuck shit up!
also finally losing weight. my last day at work is the 14th and I already feel like this huge weight is lifted off my back....
next on the agenda... buy a house so my disabled friend can live in it and get out of the shitty section 8 housing complex she is stuck in. this has been a dream for a very long time, and my partner is completely on board with the idea. having an actual partner who always meets me at least halfway is just... remarkable.
I didn't think life could feel this good. I just hope it's not short lived. I know this marriage will take a lot of work, but he's worth it.
I could just pop, so happy.
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godessalthena
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2023 26 May :: 10.27pm
life is a rollercoaster ride that you are either too short or too tall for.
my heart is the fullest it's ever been. I finally feel optimistic for the future. I finally see there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
plans for a hummingbird garden and a fire pit are coming together. the big day is set for the end of next month. I can't believe this is real life. I feel stupid for waiting so long to reach out, but I love the whirlwind I'm wrapped up in.
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godessalthena
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2023 6 March :: 5.14pm
I hate these chronic feelings of being completely unimportant
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