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What Do I Have To Do

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:: 2009 7 March :: 12.03 am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Poisonblack: Bear The Cross

Clinging to hope, awaiting your word
The monster i once was is now left behind, a change has came, and i can only hope it is not too late. I am not the one who can decide whether it is or not, only she can, she decides where this new man goes. The paths i have taken, have been educating but none the less never always for the best. The greatest paths have always been walked with her, and for this man who has finally rid himself of his monster, i hold on to hope that those paths i will still walk with her, but only time will tell, and time is not on my side i fear. Hope is the last thing i have to hold on to. I know the monster is gone, and she believed me before, let us all hold on to that hope that there is still something left in her that believes it as well.

I love you, always and forever.

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:: 2009 26 January :: 11.28 pm
:: Mood: tired

It has been a long long time since i have updated, i have been running around all the time lately, with school, work, and everything else that seems to be going on. Although some of the best times and most relaxing have been hanging out with jess. We had some rough times (most of them i didnt write about) but we are through them now and it seems to be smooth sailing from here on out. I will write more from now on (at least i will make a concious effort to) and i spelled that wrong. but its late and i am going to get to bed so to all a goodnight.

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:: 2008 10 November :: 10.56 pm

I did blame others for my faults. I took others above the ones that mattered. I say this with the miniscule thing in my chest that keeps me alive, that i am so sorry. So so sorry......
I gave you my heart, i hope with all of me that it works for you......
I hope someday, maybe just maybe i will be forgiven.

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:: 2008 4 November :: 11.55 pm
:: Music: Flaw

Another day goes by....
I`ve Been Running away for far too long
Afraid of what
Afraid of what I know is soon to come
I may not be much of an example right now
But I can give you all of my knowledge on how
to get along in this place
right now all I can say

Is that I will do the best that I can
to be a good example of man
I know one day that You`ll understand
you deserve the best that I am
you deserve the best that I am

It`s So hard
so hard to think about when I was child
so angry at life
I blamed the world for such a long long time
But Things happened so quickly
some people just go
I needed answers to heal me
I wanted to know how to get by
and now its my turn to say

Is that I will do the best that I can
to be a good example of man
I know one day that You`ll understand
you deserve the best that I am
you deserve the best that I am

This is all for you
everything in this world
everything in my world
everything in your world
things wont always go right in this life
theres always changes
we`ll make it
"Flaw: Best I Am" Lyrics to live up to

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:: 2008 2 November :: 11.48 am

Everyone assumes this is easy for me. While i may whine (so they say) it gets annoying and actually rough for everyone to think this is so easy. I have to deal with what i thought were my friends talking shit about me and to have her think this is easy on me. I have few friends left and i will do anything to hang on to them. I'm about to just lay down for the count. I am to the point in my life to where something as little as a dropped ipod or something so minute can just mess my head to where i will drop everything to just be alone. It is easiest to just get away from everyone so i dont say or do anything drastic or stupid. Enough rambling from me. Have a good one.

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:: 2008 15 April :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Guns N Roses- Rocket Queen

Like I have stated before, I am not a very interesting writer. My life may be interesting, yet I am not very good at translating into text. As I write, Paul, our kitten is curled up on my neck. It is actually strangely alright with me. Jess and I watched one of the "8 films to die for" a little while ago, and frankly it was creepy, but by no means that scary. that is about that, although i am starving again. Damnit........

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:: 2008 14 April :: 12.20 am
:: Mood: tired

first entry
This is my first entry and i have no idea what to say. I am having severe cravings for waffles and i am getting driven crazy for the need of strawberry eggos. I am in also in love and going to bed. I am definately not the most interesting person to read about and for that, yeah goodnight.

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