I wish I could change the ways of the world, make it a nice place. Until that day I guess we stay, doing what we do.


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Screwing who we screw.

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:: 2007 30 October :: 3.33 pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: The Kinks


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:: 2007 20 May :: 7.59 pm

Ok, so I lost all of my photos. Everything. Prom, graduation, parties, my first trip out of state, artsy shots, hanging out, my first photos with my new camera.. basically every photo in the past two years.

What happened is I deleted my account, because I couldn't remember my password for the life of me. I was asked if I'd like my files moved, so I said yes. Then I was asked if I'd like to delete my account even though my files would be deleted, I then chose no. After I chose that my account was deleted anyway.

I did searches in all drives and found nothing. And yes, I did check the recycle bin and nothing was there either. It's like they were just gone after the account thing.

If anyone has any way of getting something like this back please help me.

Basically I have lost all hope and am sure that everything is gone.

So, I am asking anyone who has any photos from an event I attended, or when friends hung out, Graduation, dances, prom.. please send them to me. Burn them to a CD or something.

Please take the time to help me out. I am completely crushed to have lost all of these photos.

7 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 11 March :: 11.55 am
:: Music: Elvis Presley

You're all so fake. It kills me. It should kill you too.

:: 2006 4 March :: 6.44 pm
:: Music: James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So, I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over, but it won't stop there.
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
my heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye, my lover.
Goodbye, my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer, but when I wake
you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me.
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the [mother] of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts, but now we're fine.
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.


And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine, when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
when I'm kneeling at your feet.


I'm so hollow, baby. I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

:: 2006 23 February :: 5.44 pm

I officially hate our Senior class. Everyone is so immature. No one can simply shut up for two minutes and just listen. No one takes anything seriously. People just don't care. I figured people would want to be in the Yearbook. Especially since it's their Senior year, but obviously they don't. I love how people bitch and moan about not being in it or how it's all the same people every year. Well, if you're not willing to give us a quote or anything you have no reason to be whining. When the only people willing to say something not half retarded are in the class that's who is going to be in the majority of the Yearbook. Don't complain to us when you're the one being an idiot.

Now people are bitching about how Erika and I apparently "rigged" the Mock Elections to win. Riiiight. Because, oh my God..if two whole people that are in the class win an award it means we just decided to add extra votes to our name, even though three other people helped us count them. Hmm.. that sure is strange. And I really want to convince my Senior class that I am funny. Maybe if you took the time to vote, I would have had more competition and one of your popular friends would have won. It's just because you didn't win anything. Get over it.

Ugghhh. You all just bother me so much. I am so glad I am graduating. I hate who you've all become. Sure, I'm not perfect, but at least I have matured somewhat since 8th grade.

I have no idea how you're all going to make it in this world. Honestly.

18 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 18 February :: 9.09 pm

It's two degrees man and everything is still covered in ice, weak.
I got some wicked pictures of all the trees though. Here's my favorite.. [ I made my mom stop on the side of the road to get it, so I am glad it turned out! ]

Read more..

Anyway, I am so glad the power is back. It was truly miserable. Sammie and I were cracking out man. I'm not even going to get into details. All I have to say about not having power is...LAME.

I've hung out with Sammie for four days now. It's awesome, because she is so much like me that I don't get annoyed with her. She's bahmb dig and we're getting married. But, really...she's my best friend and I wish she could walk with me for Graduation. Too bad she's a sucky sophomore.

I saw Brokeback Mountain today. It was soooo good. I cried for the last ten minutes of the movie. I suggest seeing it, unless you're one of those homophobes that is closed-minded and needs to suck it up and get some balls. Yeah, that's right.

Break has actually been a lot of fun for doing nothing. I don't want it to end.

Well, I need to get going. I've got things to do.
(Like call you)

17 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 18 February :: 12.28 pm

Sammie is pretty cool and so are you.

(I love being able to call you at any given moment again)

:: 2006 15 February :: 8.08 pm

(I miss you all ready)
I am so happy. I can't get the smile off of my face ever since last night.

This is just what I needed.

:: 2006 11 February :: 11.34 pm

Shake that laffy taffy!
Swirl was fun. I'm glad I went, but my feet are in agonizing pain right now.

"I get fast really ready."
"This sad is so song."

I could not talk today..

[Oh, and pictures from Swirl and Spring Hill are soon to come]

Night ya'll.

9 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 9 February :: 7.39 pm

Every line makes me cry, 'cause every word was a lie.
There I go again, reading old journal entries.

I don't suggest doing that.

:: 2006 6 February :: 9.18 pm

What an awesome night.

The show went great. I am so proud of everyone. You guys are all amazing, seriously. For the amount of time we had to do this and all the stress we all went through.. I just can't believe we pulled it together. But, we did and I am so happy.

Yeah, I messed up a line. I was completely beating myself up over it. But, ya know what? For having a two page monolgoue and only messing up one line, I should be thankful. And when a few other people sort've messed up like I did, I didn't care and it didn't stick out in my mind. It was just normal and ok, so that helped me a lot. Some people said they noticed, but I picked it up so fast that it didn't matter. Others completely didn't notice, so whatever.

After the show a lady came up to me and told me that my scene made her cry and it was one of her favorites. That made me so happy.

Thanks for all the other compliments as well. Whoever showed up to support me/us: thanks. [Thank you Matt and Jake for coming. It's good to see some old friends]

One more night. I hope I don't mess up that line again, haha.

Oh, and H apologized and said that he was very proud of me. So, that helped.

I am good now. And not to sound full of myself in any way, but I am proud of myself, because from the start I didn't think I could do this. I didn't think I could memorize more than a line. I didn't think I could get up in front of all those people being only a few feet away.

But, I did.

3 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 5 February :: 6.05 pm
:: Music: Cliff Ritchey

Something that struck me as interesting was when my group leader from Spring Hill came up to me and told me she was impressed with how well I knew myself. She said that it was awesome, because most girls have no idea and can't answer those kind of questions that fast. And I am going in the right direction. It made me realize how much I really do think and how much I pick myself apart. I was asked what the three things I would change about myself were. I said unmotivation, being too dependent on other people, and how I am always mad about something/can't relax. Another question was what my biggest fear was and I said making the wrong choices. We were also asked what truth was. When you think about that, it's actually extremely hard to answer. I think there's only one kind of truth and those are solid facts. But, the truth we live by isn't always true, because solid truth is lost. People choose their own truths (even though logic is ruled out). Everything is turned into something else. I don't know, it's hard to explain. We talked about other things as well, but I won't bother boring you any longer.

I know none of this matters to you. She just made me see something in myself. I know exactly who I am and that's comforting, because no one else does and I didn't think I knew either.

:: 2006 5 February :: 3.40 pm
:: Music: Cliff Ritchey

Get dressed.
Spring Hill was awesome. I actually had a lot of fun. I'm glad I went now, because I wasn't excited about it for a long time.

The band, Cliff Ritchey, was amazing. I don't really care for Christian music, but they were really good. And the lead singer (Cliff) is honestly the cutest man I have ever seen in my life. I'm pretty much in love with him, haha. I think I liked him so much, because he looked a lot like young Bob Dylan and his voice even resembled him somewhat. And the guitarist was the hottest Asian I have ever laid eyes on.

Wow. I am such a girl, lol.

Anyway, I'm happy I decided to go. I think I'll go again, but I'd rather go in the summer if I do. I'm not exactly a winter person.

Well, tomorrow night is the first night of our play. Wish us luck.

Time to shower, eat, and sleep.

Edit>> Oh my God. I was just reading Cliff's journal from his website and he talks about Bob Dylan all of the time. Man, I am good. I wish he wasn't married now though, because he's the closest I could ever get to a young Bob Dylan. Hahaha. Awe man...that's pure dissapointment right there.

12 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 1 February :: 3.12 pm

Feb. 6-7th (That's NEXT Monday and Tuesday, bitches)
Starts at S E V E N ! PM.

Be there or be killed with a square.

[Pass this on, everyone]

1 Comment | Comment?

:: 2006 31 January :: 5.40 pm
:: Music: Damien Rice

I hate MySpace. It sucks.
And so does Xanga.

I don't want to get into why, because if I start this entry could end up being entirely too long.

I love Woohu, because Woohu doesn't suck.

That's all.

Edit>> I can't wait for Swirl now. It's just the girls, and as much as I like having a date, it's usually more fun just hanging out with a buncha crazy girls. And oh my God, the dress I am borrowing is gorgeous. I tried it on and now I am really happy. I love it. It's the first dress I've actually felt pretty in. Like, ever. Oh, I am so excited! :)

11 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 27 January :: 7.01 pm

Stacy: Oh my God, my forehead itches like a bitch.
Josh: Oh Christ, my balls itch.

We seriously both said that at the same exact time.
It was fucking scary.


2 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 27 January :: 1.41 pm
:: Music: Elliott Smith

No school for me today, biotches.

I had an eye appointment at 10am, so I figured why even go.
I got new glasses, because my other ones broke in half! I was sad, but the new ones are basically the same exact style. The only difference is they're brown on the outside instead of black, and some sort of greenish/yellow color on the inside instead of red. I like them better than my older ones.
I am still not a glasses person. Ick.

My grandma bought me a $6 chocolate covered strawberry from Godiva. I thought it was quite ridiculous, but she insisted. And I'll tell you what...it was the best damn chocolate covered strawberry I've ever had. And the only. Mmmm.

Anyway, I am bored off my feet. I hope someone wants to hang out tonight. And by hang out I don't mean go back to school and waste money on a lame basketball game.

Edit>> Oh, and new layouts for all three journals!! Exciting, eh?

3 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 26 January :: 9.20 pm

Ahh, fuck you! You're grounded!

What for?

Because you don't think that the garbage disposal sounds like chewbaca taking a shit! That's why. Now go to your room!

2 Comments | Comment?

:: 2006 24 January :: 6.42 am
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday

Tagged! haHaHA. So funny. Not, bitch.
I am so sick of this "tagging" bullshit.
Stop for Christs sake!
It's not like when someone leaves a lame ass comment about how you got "tagged" there is some uncontrollable force making you leave this comment in about ten thousand other journals, because the fucking comment says you must.

Guess what? You don't have to do anything a comment tells you to do, ever! Even if it says you'll die if you don't pass it on, you won't. I mean you may die, but not because you didn't send some bullshit to ten thousand other people. Unless someone is pointing a gun to your head, threatening to set your house ablaze, or killing your puppy you're perfectly fine not passing it on.


/end rant

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:: 2006 23 January :: 4.26 pm

So, after school we're bringing Erika home and we're having this conversation about how it's stupid when people mess around while they're driving and blah, blah. etc. So we drop her off then Dustin decides to try and "miss the pot holes" (in other words, fuck around). So, while missing these pot holes we go straight into the dtich, after swirving for a little bit. And it's not like we just went into the ditch. We full on ended up completely facing the opposite direction from when we started. If there would have been a tree [which there was like 10 feet away] I'd pry be hurt right now or dead (D E D).

You know Dustin...he has to do everything with style, lol.

So, yeah.. I'm home now and not really looking forward to any more rides with my good ole bro. Just playing.. *shifts eyes*

Thanks for the help, Joey.

Other than sitting in a snow bank for an hour my day was good.
My crush on Mr.Young is clearly not a crush anymore. It's true love, baby.
And Mr.Hazel still can't stay on task.


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