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andi

:: 2004 28 December :: 12.08pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: worlds smallest violin

should i??
I've been thinking about it for a while. He is always on my mind. He's in the back of my head. I just want to check up on him. I don't want to get back w/ him. I'm not puttin this in my LJ b/c Jared would kill me.

should I call and ex-bf whom i haven't talked to since...one day in october and i went out w/ him for 8 months and it was a serious relationship??? I don't know what to do.

I just want to say hey. I don't know how he would react or if he'll pick up his cell when he sees my number. I don't know what to say to him.

urgh...

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 6 December :: 8.41am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: hawthorne heights: ohio is for lovers

can't stop thinking...
I keep thinking about him. its weird. Im not sure if i want to go out w/ him though. him and i are perfect for eachother though. ha. the scheduales are the same. we're both busy and all during the week. We have great times together. we've known eachother for a long time. BUt im afraid we'll ruin what we have if we got out.

I'm not sure if i really want to do it. I need to spend more time w/ him. i'm not going to rush into it. We don't have the exact connection yet for me to go for it. We never spend time together and we never talk on the phone or AIM. When I got to mariner I know i'll talk to him more and what not.

He's such a dork though. lol. he's a lil dorky for what i go for. its not a bad thing. maybe i need a change. I hate though when ppl say he said he can get u and shit. i don't believe them 100%, but i dont believe him 100% either when he denies it. I'm not sure who to believe.

Last night when I was at the movies all i thought about was him through out the dang movie. I was thinking about what i am writing now. I'm in class right now...lol.

I'm confused at if i want to go for it or not. i think i'll try, but i'm not gonna be like hey i wanna go out w/ u b/c i'm not sure if i really want to and i don't want to lead him on..again...

like the great oprah said on her show, when in doubt don't do anything about it.

+AndI+

5 TubuLAR Mind SpokenTubuLAR Minds Spoken | Speak Your Neato Mind


andi

:: 2004 29 November :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: "Breathe"

When I was in church...
Why did God want Samuel to sacrifice his 12 year old son, Izaac?

Because if Izaac was a teenager it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice.


At the Pearly gates there is a taxi cab driver that is all scruffy and dirty and behind him there is a pastor that is clean cut and totally lived for God. Peter (the guard at the gates of Heaven) said to the diver,"what is ur name so I can look in the book to see if ur name is there, so you can enter the gates of enternal life?" The driver replied in a new york accent, "My name is Anton diggs." Peter replies, "Yes here is your name. Here is your gold staff and silk robe. Now u may enter the gates of Heaven."
The Pastor was next and he was all excited b/c he did everything he could for God. Peter asked his name and the Pastor said,"My name is John Smith." Peter said," Here is your name. Here is your wooden staff and here is ur cotton robe. You may now enter the gates of Enternal Life." The Pastor was confused, "Why does that driver get a gold staff and a silk robe and I've been a pastor and telling people about christ for 45 years and all I get is a wooden staff and a cotton robe?" Peter looks at the man and replies,"Up here we do things by result. As you were preaching you were making people fall asleep; As the taxi driver was driving he got the people in the back to pray."



Yea...jokes in church. Gotta love 'em.

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 24 November :: 7.19am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: hey unloving...

...i will love you...
So things been kinda crazy. yea..hope it all settles down though.

My weekend was awesome. I satrted it w/ jon, joe, kevin, and mike and i ended it hanging out w/ my doggy homes. fo sho.

Monday was ok and all. w/e. Tuesday was aweful. I went to Guitar Center though and that made me happy. I talked to Josh and that made me more happy. I saw Casey when I was walking home and that made me happy. So school sucked and brought me down a lot, but the store, casey and josh made it better. =]

I'm in web design class right now. how cool???

My name is lisa and i have huge boobs and I like strong boys and playing twister, drunk.

+AndI+

1 TubuLAR Mind Spoken | Speak Your Neato Mind


andi

:: 2004 19 November :: 8.08pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: boyz in da hood

yesturday was not ordinary
Yea so yesturday (thursday) was my b-day. awesome yo. I'm 16 now, bitches. haha. yea ahhhh..i got some presents from my folks. so cool.

now i am at jon's house. the guys are playing poker, yea i'm not a poker player. right amber? hahaha. yea i soo suck at poker. when i played w/ amber i lost my dog, sk8brd, cd's and basically everything else i own. haha. so i'm just fooling around on the computer. but n e ways..

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 15 November :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: silly

at least he's honest...is that a good thing?
Brandon: You look hotter today.

Me: thanks??

Brandon: sure thing. Where did our love and cuddleness go?

Me: I burned the memories, so it wont exist n e more.

Brandon: O thanks loverly. I love you too.

Me: sure thing.

Brandon: U should call me sometime.

(we're going two oppisite directions at this point)

Me: Do u think i look more hot today b/c of my shirt??!

Brandon: No, its the lack of the shirt!


+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 6 November :: 12.00am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Yellowcard-only one

URGH!
FUCK!

I am truley sorry. Please don't hate me.

I feel aweful.

+AndI+

1 TubuLAR Mind Spoken | Speak Your Neato Mind


andi

:: 2004 1 November :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: ehhh
:: Music: Autumn to Ashes

Hollering
Urgh...just another day that went wrong in my life. The whole weekend went bad.

To my bebe:

Your haawesome and I'm sorry. Forever u'll be my bebe, bebe. haha.

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 21 October :: 3.34pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Milk and Cereal

Powderpuff
Yo. Monday was my school's powderpuff. that was funny. Nick was a cheerleader..haha. He had bunch of make-up on. The seniors were all in blonde wigs and had fake boobs..well every had fake boobs. I guess they're trying to be like me? j/k. Well I went w/ Lance to the game. Juniors won baby. Lance has no navigation skills what so ever. Devon was there. We were just making in front of Nick and laughed at him..notice not w/ him. They guys danceing wasn't that bad at all. Surprised. One guy does better flips than the actual cheerleaders. Then afterwards I went home...

Last night was Mariner's powderpuff. That was so halarious. I loved it. I hung out w/ Joe and his friends for half the game. It was nice hanging out w/ Joe again. The guys cheers were awesome. I didn't know some of my friends can move like that. Surprised me. Well that was more fun than my school's powderpuff. Afterwards I went to Ritter's and met a guy. His name is Chris and he's a junior at Cape. He's seems cool. Turns out he knows Lance and Frank. Small world.

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 17 October :: 1.14pm

Homecoming
Friday night was awesome. I went to the football game w/ Nick, Lance and Devon. Then later in the game Larissa, Jordan, Michelle S, and Hilary come and chill w/ us. Devon looks like Clark Kent w/ hsi body and when he has my glasses on. lol. Then Amanda and Kelsey came and chilled.Long fun story short, Mariner lost bad, 24-0. losers. Well when we were walking back to the car I did a drop down low on lance. haha, he was like what just happened? it was funny. well Amanda came w/ us and we went to Coldstone and then to Jordan's house. Then i came back home w/ Amanda. woo. fun fun fun..u don't know. u don't know.
Homecoming was fun. The decorations were pretty sweet. I went over to Nick's house before and had pizza and watched a movie. Then I got reayd at his place and then we did pics. His parents are soo psyco on that stuff. it was so funny. When we got there I found amanda. Said hey to Kelsey, not anne. haha. I lost Nick after a while. lol. That was fun. Jordan didnt want to dance, so I danced around her, near her, on her, you know... I did the same w/ Larissa. sooo much fun. Kelsey was going crazy in her moves as normal. I danced w/ Pedro. He's prety good, then again he is spanish or latin..one of the two. Then Gaby, anne, Kelsey, Amanda and I all danced w/ Sean. It was funny. Then we all slow danced w/ Kyle. what a playa! Then the rest of the night I danced w/ Nick. Nick and I left early b/c it was gettin kinda lame a bit. fun night though.

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 10 October :: 6.09pm
:: Mood: majoraly pissed

Friday
Soo friday sucked, yes? lol. Actually it wasn't that bad now that i look back at it. Some ppl can go screw themselves. Some ppl need to look in the mirror. I'm not talking about Amber, me, amanda, or kelsey. It really was just out of porportation. But you know. It doesn't bother me w/ the parents. Well, some of it does yes..but really my parents would of done lot worse. yelling and screaming doesn't do jack shit to me. You can just blank it out. sigh...

n e ways.....the rest of the weekend was really fun. Went to the mall w/ Nick and then at night went to a movie and then cold stone and met up w/ nick there and then Sunday I went to church, that some ppl need to go to, then went to Ginny's and then david's. So um...tomorrow PJ day..how fun!

+AndI+

2 TubuLAR Mind SpokenTubuLAR Minds Spoken | Speak Your Neato Mind


tubularchick88

:: 2004 5 October :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Broken

Lonely
Dude, im lost. I didnt even realize how "gone" i was untill my teachers brought it up. Other ppl realized something was wrong before me, im just now getting it. Some ppl are calling it post traumatic stress.... i guess thats possible. I dont know. All i know is, is that im at a really low point.

I have never truely felt lonely. I feel like ive lost some of the closest ppl i have. I lost my two best friends in a matter of weeks, my guy pillars are practically gone.....i have no really close chick friends, my group is gone, fun is gone, my confidence that came from my group is gone, i have ppl at school but i need more. My family is here, but there are troubles there too. Is this was depression feels like? The feeling of wondering why you wake up everyday, go to school, come home, do hw, and go to bed. There is stuff here and there but thats basically it.

I guess what i lost most was Jer. He held me up and made everything ok. Thats gone, the on person that made life seems simple is gone, and i know in my heart im not getting him back. Its over.

The fun I speak of seems to have disappeared and ive slipped into an amiss. Im so low right now, and why isnt anyone breaking my fall? Is it my fault that no one really knows how deep down im hurt? Is it my fault no one knows that its not that "im tired" its that ive been crying.

I guess it all started w/ my parents getting separated, then together, then cheating, then mt grandmother dying slowly, then total mess w/ a guy friend, a "best friend" hurting me so fuckin much i cant even describe, the hurricane creating a complete and utter mess, the lose of the ppl i love, and soooo much more im not including. And now here i am, bottled up and so low.

Im not writing this for sympathy or replies or anything, id actually rather you not say anything if you do happen to read this. Just let it be.

1 TubuLAR Mind Spoken | Speak Your Neato Mind


andi

:: 2004 5 October :: 8.06pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Senses Fail

Weekend..its a blur
So during my fun I had to do HW.But w/e. Saturday I did my project as everyone else went to the movies in the day or went to look at houses. Sooo ever so fun. Jared came over. He stayed for like 3 hours. I talked to Nick on the phone for an hour. it was fun. He's pretty cool to talk to. Around 9 pm we wanted to go to the arcade place and it was closed. so we went to the skatium for lazer tag and that was closed. So finally, Cassie, Jesse, Nola, Johnny, TJ, and I went golfing at the pirate lagoon place. I got a hole in one! Tj and Jesse got one too. woo. I got in last place..haha. So we went night swimmin at home. Tj and I stayed up and watched jarrasic park. Today I went to church, finished another project at Anne's. It was fun I guess. Wish there was an extra day though. Tyler was there (I was at Richi's). I love that kid, Him and I are "butt-buddies". Haha. Yea soooo..I'm gonna go. I'm bored. I have another project to do...urgh!

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 27 September :: 4.15pm

Bitches..i'm back
Yea so Friday skipped school and flew to Chicago. When we were gettting a car the ppl were like u already checked one out..we were like what??? Someone stole our rented car and posed as my dad. What losers! My mom realized when we landed that she forgot her bag that had her cloths in for the wedding thingy, so as soon as we left the air port we went shopping. There was girls in the dress area looking for homecoming and they were like oh my gosh. Girls isn't this cute? and like totally! i was ready to shoot myself.

Friday night went to a wedding blessing. It was really awesome. I dance w/ a dude that is friends w/ my older cousins. I never learned his name. Thats how u can be a playa, don't learn the names. My cousin got married into a british family, so I asked a couple of them that i don't know to say cheerio. I was like you just made my night, u have no idea. haha.

Saturday my dad and I drove to Wood Dale to pick up my home girl. I miss her so much. It took us and hour both ways b/c we got lost numerious of times. hahaha. We missed our train, but w/e we drove to the city n e ways. We broke 2 types of laws like 5 times each w/in the hour we got to Chicago. I have never seen soo many gay guys in one city. Its worse than Key west. Well we went to the Sears tower and the Menllnium park. We were taking a family photo thing and the cops came and said put it away or we're take it away or something like that. They didn't want us to take a pic and sell it and make money i guess. Saturday night we went to my aunts house and had a bomb fire. Grilled shrimp..yum yum...The weather was just beautiful up there the whole time. Well we drove my chicka back home Sunday and then we went back to the city and my dad went to ESPN and the rest of us went shopping. There was a school drumline seperated through out the city and i just sat and watched them as my mom and sis went shopping. I went into a A&F store for my first time. Its too expensive for my taste, but there is really hot guys that shop there. OOOweee. One was following me. His name was chad. I noticed he was kinda looking at me and w/e and he followed me some what to where ever i went in the store and I stayed at an area for a while and he came next to me "looking" at clothes and I was like you know those are girl shirts? He was like I could be looking for my sister..I was like riiight. Yea he was a pretty boy. His looks served me well. hahaha.

Yea so umm..on the way to the airport we got stuck in traffic real bad and we arrived like a half hour before the plane was departing. I had to call Nick to make sure I had a ride to school..wow i'm a loser. I wouldn't be able to call him when I got in town b/c it would be like 11. Soo all the flights got cancelled to FL b/c of Jean but ours. Lucky us.

So came home, went to school today. Had fun. Spencer was being spencer today. Frank said this is easy about this worksheet and Spencer is like yea its easy on a friday night w/ your mom after a candle light dinner...then ms. shoohart was like SPENCER! Then spencer said,"what? Its dessert." haha. Then Frank was like u don't even know my mom and u never seen her and Spencer was like her name is julie thank u and I love her. yea well Franks mom isn't julie. so the rest of the period Spencer was trying to guess her name and he said the same name 3 times every 5 minutes. it was great. Spencer was like does it start w/ a P? He kept saying P and Frank was like now I have to go pee. That made some girls laugh. Yea soo..I found Nick at my locker and he drove me home and I made kinky brownies and picked up the Kitchen and now I will be drumming and then studying..soo mich fun!

+AndI+

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andi

:: 2004 23 September :: 3.30pm

So yea...I'm going to Chicago tomorrow..how fun??? I don't know what will be really fun about it, but hopefully it will be better than here. I think i need to lay back on Lance. i think he's starting to think that I like him, but i don't. So i'll need to be acting more "cold" to him or w/e. I saw jared today at his bus stop when Nick and I were picking up Lance.

I have to pack..urgh. i hate packing. School today was ok, nothing too intersting happened. The bus was fun though. I hope Nick doesn't make the soccer team, but then again I want him to make it. I'm torn both ways. o well.

+AndI+

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