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Il n'y a pas de crainte dans l'amour

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:: 2009 22 March :: 11.35 pm

I graduate in 48 days, people. I want out of Michigan. I want a job/career/whatever. I need one.

One of the girls who graduated LAST YEAR just got a job. I do not want to be her. I work with a girl who graduated last year and is just hanging around at this job trying to find something. I do not want to be in that position.


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:: 2009 17 February :: 10.10 am

This semester I need 11 credits. I am taking 12 to be full time. I only have one required course left. It is, of course, the one course I cannot be on time to, ever attend or do the homework for.

I am hoping I snap out of this soon. This weekend I need to finish up my incompletes from last semester so I can get out of here on time. I also need to CLEP my French credits still.

I am lazy.

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:: 2009 6 February :: 12.21 am

My sister turns 18 later this month. I feel old.

We're both graduating this year. Crazy.

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:: 2009 31 January :: 3.04 pm
:: Mood: bitchy

Dear Life (formerly of The Cereal, now Comma My),

Thank you for the awesome birthday week. It was great to have dinner with my parents at a delicious Indian restaurant and I'm glad you let me drag Nick along while he suffered through the terminal stages of Extended Man Cold™.

I am blessed to have awesome friends that wished me a happy birthday all week long. Although work has become super lame since you decided my favorite kid needed to get fired and you brought my arch-nemesis back from Spain, it was great to have to work on my birthday and celebrate with the people I have been stuck with for the past four years. You made me look forward to graduation and leaving this town so much more!

I've got to say though, the coolest part of this birthday week has to be all the plans you decided weren't awesome enough to actually work! Instead of going ice skating with my boyfriend, you gave him a cold and death cough for a week and a half more -- just long enough for him to be whiny, unbearable and asleep by eight o'clock every night of my birthday week. It was also really nice of you to give my roommate a great car, tempt us with a Sonic located closer to us and then decide that her car needed a new alternator the day before the planned trip, trapping us at my school for an hour and a half longer than we really wanted to be there. That was great.

I have one thing to thank you for though. For my birthday weekend, I will pay rent, pay all overdue bills (most likely on my own) and get a haircut then be unable to eat or do anything for the rest of the week. Thank you so much! This is even better than the time you tempted me with seeing the friends I hadn't seen since May and then decided that all six backup plans wouldn't work. And I thought that was awesome. Oh man, I didn't even know you were going to get me a birthday present!

I guess I wanted to just say thanks. Now I know that I really should never plan anything ever again.

However, if you want to come to my graduation, I was just planning on becoming poor and homeless afterward. I don't need a new car, we only need one door to be able to open really and who doesn't love scraping off the outside and inside of the car? I also was just planning on staying in Michigan and never getting a job with my bachelor's degree. Maybe I should plan on drowning in all my debt? Alone? Because I'm planning on never being engaged or married and I never truly wanted kids.

If you want to ruin those plans, go ahead.


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:: 2009 28 January :: 12.08 am



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:: 2009 25 January :: 3.52 am



Nick needs a paintball gun.


I do not want to spend a lot of money. He's just going to play with people at work once it warms up.

If it is ever not winter again.

Does he need protective gear? I know nothing about this...thing.


I love you kids.

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:: 2009 22 January :: 1.28 am

My birthday week began today (Wednesday) and will continue through the end of the month because it's my birthday week and I say so.

I don't know if everything will go as planned but here's the outline (which will completely change now that I've said it):

Wednesday - THE BIRTHDAY
Dinner with my parents and Nick at some restaurant that I haven't chosen yet. I'm wavering between two Indian restaurants and Chinese food.

Sometime later that week
Ice skating at Patterson ice center/rink down the street. This is the ice skating rink I met Nick at. I got ice skates for Christmas and I've wanted to go back to there for a while now.

At some point Nick's family wants to get together at Jess' house but I haven't heard anything about that in a while.

Friday, Saturday or Sunday
Mini road trip to the new Sonic in Kalamazoo!

Monday or Tuesday the week after next
Logan's with roomies.

I am pumped.

P.S. Nick mentioned that when Obama leaves office we will both be 30. I mentioned that we will also be married and have one or more child. We both commenced freakouts.

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:: 2009 15 January :: 10.24 pm


I don't know what to do with myself. It's like when Kurt Vonnegut died all over again.


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:: 2008 31 December :: 5.28 pm

Guess who didn't get to see her friends.

ME! yay.

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:: 2008 21 December :: 11.46 pm

I did not get to go to Lansing because my one plan and my five backup plans fell through. It was not meant to be.

I am working on Tuesday, Nick's and my parents' celebramatations on Wednesday and Thursday. Nick's parents' again on Saturday. And MAYBE meeting up with the friends I couldn't see in Lansing Saturday night.

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:: 2008 19 December :: 3.32 pm

One semester left until I am thrown into the real world without guidance or a job.


In other news, I'm going to Lansing this weekend.

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:: 2008 12 December :: 10.13 pm

I hate Windows
Me: Hey, I wanna play this game with my 360 controller.

Windows: Oh okay.

Me: This game says it's the coolest with the controller.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: It says it does rumble.

Windows: Yes.

Me: So, I'm gonna plug it in...and you should...see it right?

Windows: Sure.

Me: Okay, it's there.

Windows: I'm not seeing it.

Me: Well, it's there.

Windows: Still not seeing it.

Me: Let me unplug it and I'll put it back in.

Windows: Uh no. Nothing.

Me: Um. So. Do you need a driver or something for this?

Windows: I'm not quite sure.

Me: Can you check?

Windows: No.

Me: Well, I'm going to ask Google. He always knows.

Windows: I can wait.

Me: He says you do.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I went to your website and you just wanted me to buy a controller.

Windows: Well, yeah. You need one to play the game.

Me: Yeah, well. I have one right here. Remember? It's plugged in.

Windows: Oh. Yeah. I can't see it though.

Me: Right.

Windows: Right.

Me: So, I'm going to go ask Google again. Maybe he knows a better place.

Windows: Okay.

Me: He told me to go to your website again.

Windows: Yeah, it's probably there.

Me: Well, the link they sent me to? It doesn't work.

Windows: Huh.

Me: So. I'm going to look around a little.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why isn't it on the page with the controller? You know. Under related topics or links or whatever.

Windows: Shrug.

Me: Huh.

Windows: ...

Me: Oh well I'm going to go to this product download link.

Windows: Mmhmm.

Me: Why do you need to know what I'm downloading it for? I told you on that other page.

Windows: I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: I can't see it. I forgot.

Me: ...

Windows: ...

Me: Okay, well it's downloading.

Windows: What?

Me: A driver or something. I don't know. It's downloading.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why is it going to take five minutes?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay.

Windows: ...

Me: Well, it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: So, it's installing.

Windows: Okay.

Me: You know, my OS came out after the 360.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: So why didn't you just include the driver with the OS?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: I have a lot of useless stuff from you already. Why didn't you just include it?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Okay it's done.

Windows: Okay.

Me: Why the hell do you always want me to restart? The light is lit up. Why do I have to restart?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Bill Gates doesn't even know why I have to restart.

Windows: Well...we don't talk anymore.

Me: Huh. Well, I'm not restarting.

Windows: Okay.

Me: I'm going to go play my game now.

Windows: We'll see...

Me: Wait.

Windows: What?

Me: Why's the program still there?

Windows: Which one?

Me: The one I installed the driver with.

Windows: I don't know.

Me: Why couldn't you just delete it after it installed?

Windows: I don't know.

Me: And what's this Windows Update thing?

Windows: Hm?

Me: You just installed the driver and already you need to fix it.

Windows: Well... This is an update just for you.

Me: You couldn't just put the latest version on your website?

Windows: No.

Me: You asked me what OS I was using.

Windows: Yes. Yes I did.

Me: So. You could have just the latest one for my OS there. On that special page. For me.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Huh.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: You want me to restart again.

Windows: Yeah.

Me: Fine.

Windows: See you later.

Me: Whatever.

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:: 2008 9 December :: 10.40 pm

All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.

The cat is both dead and alive.

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:: 2008 2 December :: 2.28 am

I am very blessed. I have a boyfriend who loves me (and lets me sleep and makes me bagels with cream cheese and turkey (when I don't feel well and when he thinks it sounds disgusting)) and whom I love. I have a family that despite my coming home from a semester in Europe and immediately moving out, still loves me.

I am blessed because I had two Thanksgivings. And I will have two Christmases.

I talked to one of the new student workers today. His father lost his factory job and his mother lost her greenhouse job. Downsizing. He had Spaghetti O's for Thanksgiving. In his dorm room. He says Christmas doesn't look too great either.

I left work crying.

I've always had a Christmas. I've always had a Thanksgiving. No matter how poor my parents said they were that year. I can't imagine not having one. But this kid did. This kid will.

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:: 2008 26 November :: 10.14 pm

I feel like I learn more about faith and feel better about faith in my Arabic class than I ever did in my Theology class.

In my Theology class, I was angry and upset that I was supposed to believe what he said I needed to. That I needed to obey the laws he said existed. Laws and rules I didn't think any god cared about.

In my Arabic class, I feel good about this god that I thought was mean and restrictive. I feel good about the world. Every day we have a religious discussion, even inadvertently.

I guess I'm not doing the Catholic thing anymore? I guess I haven't for a while. I like this God guy. I'm feeling things out but I'm a big fan of this non-denominational thing. I just hate religion so much. We'll see where this goes.

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:: 2008 4 November :: 12.35 am

Vote tomorrow, bitches.

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:: 2008 25 October :: 10.41 pm

Did I tell you I updated my law blog photoblog?

Because I did.

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:: 2008 16 October :: 2.34 pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters

To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)

Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.

I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.

I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.

I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?

I love you all.

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:: 2008 5 October :: 2.38 pm

Nick's little sister got married last night. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.

In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.

Congratulations, you two. And good luck.

I love you all.

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:: 2008 4 October :: 12.17 am

So Nick's little sister is getting married tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I am a bridesmaid. I am going to bed now.

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