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This One Time At Band Camp...

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:: 2006 28 April :: 12.33am

so. i'm going home tomorrow. blah blah blah. everyone is always like I can't believe how fast this all went! And I'm all, you weren't thinking that when you were in Hispanic Culture. It's gone by all normal. That's it. I don't know.

But I do know one this. This year has been fucking awesome. Not saying that I haven't been down, but for the most part. I'm in love with this place. Sure, Kalamazoo has a higher murder rate than Detroit. And a higher STD rate than the whole state of Michigan. And we live on a hill. But it's still a really diverse and fun place. This campus is amazing. I don't even care that I live in the Valley and I"m disconected from main campus.

This place is beautiful in the springtime. With the pond and the geese and the fountains and the blue sky. AMAAAZZZINNNG. There are flowers all over the place. I walk around and listen to my Ipod and I just want to sing and dance and hug strangers. Or at least smile real big.

And the people! OH! I was overwhelmed at first and nervous and my eyes were tired, but now. . . This valley has more people in it than high school. And even though it's really loud and I hate all the drinking that goes on, there's other cool stuff going on too. I've never met so many great and fun and openminded people. It's mind boggling. Fucking nuts. And you end up getting so close to a person when you share 14 feet of living space.

And all the stuffed I've learned. I feel so smart sometimes. High school was a horror story inside of a monster. I feel so big here. Like I'm about to burst at the seems at any moment. It's the best feeling. I don't even know where to begin with all that I'm feeling. It's like I'm leaving summer camp, but it's much bigger than that.

I love Jenna. She's too awesome, and I'm gonna miss her soooo much. And then there's everyone else that i've made friends with. It's so cool. You don't ever not have anyone to talk to or see. I'm going to miss them a whole lot. This is such a cool community. Just my side of the building is. . .great. sigh.

Plus all of this has made me closer to Jake. We're so much stronger now. I love love love love love love love him.

I had an amazing job, which almost hurts more to leave than school. I love my kids. I can go on for hours about the reasons why preschoolers are the best people on the planet. There so honest and so sweet. Even the naughty ones. And they have no idea about anything. The world exsists for them and that's it. But you can still mold them and love them. ahhhh.

It just feels so fucking sweet. I know what I want to do with my life, I'm crap my pants happy and I know I'm not done growing up. But I'm going to live my life before I do all this settling down business. I feel very mature and very excited about my sweet life. I'm not going to be the girl from cedar anymore.

I'm Sarah Ruth Cohen. And I'm awesome.

1 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 25 April :: 9.51pm


spanish exam. done over. yay. good. piano exam tommorrow and then i'm basically done. i just have to do my online human sexuality exam clean my stuff up and make out with jenna. that's it.

THEN ON TUESDAY I START MY NEW JOBBBIE! yay for me! and thanks JESSICA WILDE. no we're gonna see each other all the time. maybe we'll go out and get crunked after work. ha hahahahahah.

tomorrow i'm having a dance party with the peepers
that'll be sweet.

i'm so burned out right now. like i've never even been so weary. ugh. i almost lost my patience today with the kids. only one more day.

at least i got to eat lemons for dinner. and i got a free sensual massage. good times.

6 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 24 April :: 8.10pm

okay. one exam down. only two days left at Arcadia. sad sad.

ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 19 April :: 10.03pm

Oh my gosh. Best night ever!

Sarah Weddington is probably the most awesome person on the whole planet. I think I'll have to be an official femminst in her honor.

seriously. nicest person ever.

and i never thought that much about abortion before. i never was emotional about it anyway.

so this is what i think: stay the fuck away from my uterus.

if i had the oppurtunity to move to canada and jake would come with me i'd be gone in a heartbeat. this country is moving backwards and i'm not going with it.

ps-jessica benzer, she compared fighting the pro-choice fight to LOTR.

5 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 15 April :: 10.15am

is there any way to make this all go away? i just want to be happy and actually hold on to that. i just feel any motivation and good feelings ebbing way.

ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 13 April :: 11.37am

so i'm back and badder than ever. i know that isn't even correct, but i mean that i'm a bad-ass. you know how i roll.

i'm not even fully functional and i'm still badder than you. i can't even walk up stairs and i'm such an m-fing baddy mcbadderson sack.

also i can't sleep. freaking a. i went to bed at 10:30. didn't fall asleep til almost one woke up again at 4:30 to read and then woke up again at 6:40 to go to menards and fill out an app. i'm a monster. then i helped jake jump start his car and drove all the way to the zoo and didn't pass out. then i dragged my bag upstairs without any help.

you can't even touch me.

i miss jenna and i don't know where she is and my belly hurts and i'm hungry. and i don't want to put pants on.

okay and these people owe me:
Chris Best-One Georgia Book
Jessica Wilde-Ditto (sorry I keep nagging, I just love my little bookies)
Travis Macdonald-How to Survive the Loss of a Love (I know you don't even read this, but it's not called how to survive the loss of a book) IF ANYONE COMES IN CONTACT WITH THIS CHILD OR HIS TWIN SHOULD NOTIFY HIM OF MY ANGER.
Biondi-The Diary of Marie Antoinette.

That is all.

3 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 9 April :: 11.18pm

two days till i go under the knife. i'm trying to tell myself not to be scared, but i am.

oh the other side though. school is almost done. i don't really know if that's a good thing. i get to lose more friends. yay. and i still don't have a job.

why am i so unhireable? seriously. i don't know if you know this, but i'm kind of a big deal. but fer rel though. i like working and i'm smart and responsible and i have good references. i also have experience. i don't say this much

but what the fuck?
i was harassed at my last job and i had to fucking quit, i didn't even call osha or anything. no one even tried to convince me to stay and make them behave. and those guys didn't get fired or in trouble. and then no one would hire me.

i'm blaming cedar springs for this. it's forever tainted my life.


6 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 6 April :: 11.33pm

am i ever going to stop being such a child? why can't i just stop it? or be calmer or not such a hugh bitch.

1 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 5 April :: 12.26pm

working in a group gives me the mega droop.

yeah i said it.

and piano is so painful that i think it's making me stupid.

fer real though. i only have like three weeks left of school. that's cool. i'm don't with my oral exam in spanish. annnndddd.

i'm frustrated.

5 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 2 April :: 5.49am

i don't know how i feel about going to bed right now. i had a really fun night. and i'm just thinking about all the cool stuff i'm going to do next year and it's making me tres 'appy.

here's a short list
inturmural soccer
volenteering at the kalamazoo psychiatric hos.
being able to go to the SRC
dsk more
outspoken-maybe a real member this time
social work stuff
hopefully arcadia again
big sisters
gilmore stuff
getting one of my minors
make a wish club with jenna
doing welcome week or orientation or being an RA

i'm gonna be living with meghan and i don't have any not so suite mates. aaaaannnnddd. i have a really cute boyfriend.

what a nice nice nice life.

ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 1 April :: 10.45am

okay okay okay.

my papel is all turned in. not up to the minimum length requirement. but there's only so much stuff you can make up about biculturalism.

so now i have to practice piano. yuck. i really hate piano with my whole soul.

and i have an oral exam on tuesday por espanol. yee haw.

jenna's gone and that makes me sad. i think i'm going to have to sew her to my body. that sounds nice. and not creepy at all.

what else do i have to do?

i have dsk tonight. i'll be driving for the first time.

and i have to take down all the posters of Mr. Golden Sun because they're making my heart ache.

2 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 30 March :: 8.02pm

you may not know this, but my humps is a good song to walk to if you're late for class and live two miles away.

11 minutes suckas. eat it.

7 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 29 March :: 2.23pm
:: Music: eisley

i could understand why i might have high blood pressure.

cause it's the end of the year so the shit is hitting the fan in a hardcore manner.

on top of everything else that's happened in the last two weeks.

i've got a paper to write for stupid hispanic culture dumb class.

i have to practice piano and stop pretending that i know what i'm doing.

i have to make up some conversations in spanish, so i can talk about them.

i have surgury two weeks from yesterday.

i still need to work.

and also have a decent social life.

and start bringing things home.

and get a new job. and deal with all the dealies that are dealing right now.

good times.

4 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 26 March :: 5.03pm

sprialing into hopelessness. i need a nap. i need a break. i need motivation and a good cry.

ok...i was in band....


:: 2006 25 March :: 12.10am

the more time passes, the more devestated i feel.
i just keep reliving that moment and it's the worst feeling i've ever had.

a child is dead and you keep telling me to get over it. it doesn't matter that i didn't know him for very long. kids take a lot less time to love. i don't know how to get over it. i don't know how to make it stop hurting.

i see his face. i see the car. i see the woman driving without her license. and i see the young mother who doesn't know what to do. and i hate this place. this world.

2 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

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