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goodbye

:: 2023 4 December :: 9.32pm

You are literally killing me. I have heart pains from this. This is completely unsustainable. It's impossible being in this, with you. It doesn't matter if I enjoy your company when things are good or if I love you deeply, it is causing my limited time on this earth to be all the more limited due to the incredible stress you put me through every other day.

I can't do this anymore.

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godessalthena

:: 2023 12 November :: 7.23am

don't want to make any announcements, but some big news is in the works.

just don't want to jinx it.

working at the craft store has been such a fun experience! I love getting to do a bunch of different things, being active at my job, the discount is amazing. my coworkers.... all much younger than me, stoned at work all the time, baby faced complainers. but as long as I just put my head down and stay on task shit just feels right.

I know our how will be cut after the holidays, but I am hopeful that maybe I'm valuable enough to keep around. if not, that's fine too.

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godessalthena

:: 2023 18 October :: 12.52pm



"i love you much (most beautiful darling)

more than anyone on the earth and i
like you better than everything in the sky

—sunlight and singing welcome your coming

although winter may be everywhere
with such a silence and such a darkness
noone can quite begin to guess

(except my life) the true time of year—

and if what calls itself a world should have
the luck to hear such singing (or glimpse such
sunlight as will leap higher than high
through gayer than gayest someone's heart at your each

nearness) everyone certainly would (my
most beautiful darling) believe in nothing but love"

-e.e. cummings

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godessalthena

:: 2023 17 September :: 1.41pm

everything is going so well

so why do I feel my soul imploding

my whole life no one ever wanted to listen to me, trust me, have faith in me.

how do I earn those things? I am at the end of my rope.

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godessalthena

:: 2023 6 September :: 8.11am

my husband and I have been trying to conceive

I've had at least 2 chemical pregnancies. it's been heartbreaking, and difficult not to think there's something wrong with me.

but since I am considered geriatric in terms of womanhood, it will probably be a very difficult journey.

not sure I'm ready, but my husband is the most amazing man in the world and with his support I feel like I can accomplish anything.

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