AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I really needed that scream.

Im starting to realize its pretty near impossible to be happy.

I don't try to make others unhappy...i hope you all realize that.

I never make decesions with out thinking about how it will affect others.

Sometimes you just have to do something for yourself though don't you?

But when you make decisions in hopes of making yourself happy...the misery of others can destroy you alone.

I am sorry that I am not exactly the person you are looking for.

I am sorry I cause drama...because I am definitely the only one who does it you know?

I am sorry that you may think I only think about myself.

I'm sorry I am going crazy and that I am dragging you down with me.

I am sorry I am falling apart and taking it out on you.

You never should've met me. It only brought pain.

I am so sorry for everything.

No sarcasm there.

That had to be the best time ive had in a while. Last night was fun, stalking people with Meghan...until creepy guys hit on us... also making cookies for Hul...until he ditched us but it wasnt his fault and he kept apologizing. The Cookie time was awesome, i havent had that good of a conversation with someone in months...but it ended when we smelled burning cookies...
Today...was really great... hanging out with Hul a whole bunch walked to stone fence farm park?? Why the hell is it called farm park? We couldnt figure that out. Then i went to Melanie's party which was really fun. I'm so glad i went..i wish i was still there. We watched I love the 90's for a long time... I miss the 90s...esspecially 97. ::Sigh:: Can I go back?

Thanksgiving-part 2
Im back! Yay! Ok where did i leave off?
I think im going to make these a bit shorter...sorry guys lol. (you know..i dont think half of the people i put on here will read these lol...oh well) you know...these are more like memories...but i say thank you in there lol

Meghan- Im thankful for Meghan because she is so much fun to hang out with and we have fun times making cookies shaped like cellphones and ducks and snowmen. Then of course there was dealing with me over the summer and hanging out at camp and at softball and arguing..."did" "didnt!" it went something liek that...and after the first hour of saying that...we couldnt remember what we were arguing about lol. Oh and of course never being able to decide on what to do. Good times!!! Thanks Meghan!

Wender- Yeah im really thankful for Wender. Its fun to talk to him on the phone, though i eventually fall asleep and wake up to hear how he was trying to manipulate my dreams -.-. Yeah, i have to thank him for the long talks...weve come a long way with that...we went from being too afraid to talk...to still being afraid to talk, but we still do (it only takes a few hours to get on the topic we want to talk about lol) And Im thankful for him because he stayed home with me once when my mom wouldnt let me leave and we watched lion king and it was fun. Then The Ballad of the Sad Cafe...that was a good time. I had so much fun in that show and kinda working on lights...he taught me so im thankful for that too lol. Then just the times we hang out are usually fun. Then i have to thank him for not being against me when everyone else was, so thank you wender im really glad ive gotten to know you dont forget me when you go to college :( ill miss you so please dont stop talking to me this year before you leave!

Jorie and Sandy- Yes its strange, but i have to thank Jorie and Sandy. for Jorie-This is because there was a time where i felt she was the only one that understood me. Both- For the small portion of my life, they comforted me a lot and made me feel like i wasnt that terrible of a person. So for that small time, both made a difference, and still is making a difference (in a different way), in my life. So Thank you Jorie and Sandy we had good times :-D.

Benton- I have a lot to thank Benton for. Hes another one who never really was against me and ive had so many fun times with him. He comforted me when i was really bothered by something or someone and i thank him so much for that because he was really helpful. Then with him, there was the pumpkin throwing and the tennis, and the the golf that one time. Oh and of course there is gym and the drawing of my sandal so it wouldnt break...but i ended up killing it anyway. Its been fun and i dont want him to leave for college...it will be so depressing. Thank you Benton, you are so awesome and i never want to lose your friendship...have fun at Augustana with Johnson if you go and dont forget me!

Nick- I have to thank Nick because like Jorie and Sandy he was really helpful at one point. I used to tell him a lot, and sometimes he gave good advice. So thanks Nick!

Hul, Kyle, and Neil- They are so funny and im so glad i became friends with them! They are a lot of fun to hang out with and they make me laugh. Hul and Kyle- the pumpkin throwing...and um the trees outside of sandys house (ewww) and the ding dong ditching...that was a fun night. Kyle- hes crazy but i think hes the funniest guy esspecially when hes bored. At first i thought he was really shy but now i think hes nuts hehe. But thats ok cuz hes awesome im glad i know him. Hul- Fun memories with Hul. I have to thank him for going to my first Rated R movie with me and for laughing at me when i hid my face. Then of course for watching X-men together over the internet...that was funny, and for reminding me to watch That 70s show, and for playing on the light bright thing with me at lisas, and for owing me a helicopter and 10 dollars! ANd just for being the first person i met in theater and for bringing everyone over to my house that ontime (well...not sure if i should thank him for that....hmmm hehe). Oh and for having the coolest eyes and smile! Yeah he wins that award! Then Neil- just cuz hes neil and hes fun and im glad i know him too. Thanks you three! Your awesome and your keeping this year interesting and fun for me! Oh, and dont go to college! You guys should stay another year! It will be fun...do it!!!

Spencer and Jill- Spencer i have to thank because he was the second person i met in theater and he was a fun guy to be around. And Jill i have to thank because shes fun to be around and talk to too. Oh and that one time we sat in the props closet with the guitar and the fake candle..that was so much fun! Jill your such a funny person and fun to be around...thanks!

Lisa- I can thank Lisa for calling me...i love when people call me and want to hang out..its fun! Lisa is fun and it was fun playing games at her house that one time. Oh and the good old days in Girlscouts and Brownies and stuff like that. Hehe we go way back! Thanks Lisa!

Stacey- Thanks to Stacey for lunch and Study hall and the random yelling out stuff in the halls. Oh and her letting me bitch to her about my parents. Thanks also for way back in 7th grade when you made my parents think you were crazy cuz you refused to say hi to them but hid behind a pillow. Oh and the funness in orchestra lol.

Chris- Thanks to Chris for giving me rides and for being funny and fun to talk to, for yelling at me when i dont say hi to him in the halls, for not being involved in all the drama, for being super ticklish, for telling me that i could talk to him if i ever need to that one time and for the hug that same time...that really helped, i can even thank him for making fun of hanson all the time...it makes liking hanson even more fun lol. SO thank you Chris, your awesome :).

David- David has always been one of my favorite guys...ok well not always but since last year when i met him. Hes so funny and hes good at cheering people up. I want to thank him for just being a good friend and for being so immature in history because he makes history class a lot more interesting...cept when he scares me when i wake up lol. Also, ill thank him for fun times in gym, fun times in crew, and all the fun times last year. Thanks David!

Q- Q is a great guy and im glad i helped to bring him out of his whole not talking to people stage. He was fun to hang out with in Theater Class and over the summer. Hes fun to see after 6th period right before i go to lunch and right before 8th period, then during gym even though he doenst talk that much. Thanks Q your awesome!

Yasamin- Ive gotten to know you better over this last year...and i've discovered what an awesome person you are. Thanks for listening to me and for helping me with Physics. If you ever need anything or just need some one to talk to...im here...because you helped me last year more than you can know. Thanks :) (7-06-04)

Lastly...(i think and I hope!)
Stunkel- I thank Stunkel because he is hilarious! Hes so random and i love his secret love notes that he used to pass out, those were so funny! I also loved his note to me on my birthday and the Happy St, Patricks day/ birthday card.

So Thank you Everyone...have a Happy Thanksgiving and i shall be joining my family now!

~Jackie