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Stranger Than Your Sympathy...

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goose

:: 2011 27 August :: 7.57pm

I don't know what compelled me to log into this site today. I can't believe I even remember my login info. I feel like I have something to say but nothing is coming to me. I guess I don't.

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2010 26 July :: 7.26pm

I am not ready to move out or start school!

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2010 30 May :: 12.39am

Chicago Bucket List
Some Early Ideas:

1. Visit the Art Institute

2. Visit the glass deck at Sears Tower and dance

3. Go to a Cubs / White Sox game



http://www.goatking.com/?page_id=47


5. Go to Lincoln Park Zoo

6. Visit the Museum of Contemporary Art


1. Eat at Chocolate

2. Take an Architectural Boat Tour

3. Go to the Maxwell Street Fair

4. Tango class at Millennium Park at Summerdance

5. Visit Shedd Aquarium

6. Ride a helicopter

1. Visit the Field Museum

2. Take an Architectural Boat Tour

3. Go to Bulls game


5. Sail on Lake Michigan

6. Dinner at Signature Room

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2010 11 April :: 8.04pm
:: Mood: sad

Loneliness
I have never felt so alone in my entire life. I don't know how to describe it. Being here causes me to feel this enormous void but at the same time, this place is becoming home. The more it feels like home the more homesick I become.

I have formed solid friendships, an amazing job/reputation, and a generally happy life. Yet, I feel that something is missing, that this isn't the right place for me. Not sure what it is....but I feel like its time to go back to my home. But the people here are so so so so amazing that I can't imagine leaving. Can I transport the people with me to America? Aie...this is truly a once in a lifetime experience, not sure though if it should be though. I think I will come back!

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2010 1 April :: 1.45pm
:: Music: grooveshark.com

Lack of Chinese Adventures & too many applications
I need to start being more adventurous in China. I made it all the way here...might as well have some fun!!

First work on Chinese
Second get some time off!!

hmm

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2010 2 March :: 1.44pm
:: Music: Bedrock

Friends
Friends are essential to survival, is it bad to make non-lasting friendships on purpose?

I will be leaving China soon and I am not sure if its good to invest that much into a friendship that might not last. The problem is that the other guy might be upset...i feel that i am using him! :( I dont like doing that to ppl but i need atleast one person to have decent convos with. In an entire city, there are only a handful of ppl i can talk to. it sux.

BTW: the chinese are idiots. they cant fix a hot water heater...really, come on!

2 people have been pushed out by my fears. | Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2009 11 September :: 12.05am

Its Not Bad...
So teaching is very interesting. The kids are either little devils or perfect angels. Its not always the best students that are the perfect angels either. Some kids make the class very interesting and fun. I really enjoy their company. I think the best thing the school did for me was have all my classes finish with grade 8 students because they are adorable.

I think high school teachers are tough, I would never want to do that. EVER!!

China is interesting and so are the Chinese!!

1 people have been pushed out by my fears. | Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2009 11 September :: 12.05am

Its Not Bad...
So teaching is very interesting. The kids are either little devils or perfect angels. Its not always the best students that are the perfect angels either. Some kids make the class very interesting and fun. I really enjoy their company. I think the best thing the school did for me was have all my classes finish with grade 8 students because they are adorable.

I think high school teachers are tough, I would never want to do that. EVER!!

China is interesting and so are the Chinese!!

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2009 3 September :: 4.06pm
:: Music: Don't Worry Be Happy

I hate the 9th grade...
These kids are brats!!! UGHHHH!!! I am so upset! I absolutely hated this class! They were so disrespectful and obnoxious!

I understand that their oral english class is the blow off class, but I will not let you walk all over me. If it means that these kids will only say sentences all semester so be it. I have no reason to be nice to these brats if they will not be respectful to me.

And now I will have go deal with Rob. He is a nice guy: white about thirty, not particularily attractive or otherwise. But we got into some deep deep discussions and I think he is likes me now. I do not feel like dealing with some middle-aged man thinking that I am interested or that he even has a chance. I enjoy his company but absolutely no other feelings towards him. I was very specific with my opinion several times but still I dont think he understands. When someone thinks they are a hot shot, they think they are a hot shot! Ugh, its terrible. Because all the fogein teachers here are middle-aged men. Not fun! Although, most of them have chinese wives.

I really have been enjoying my time in China. Like a lot!!! Its really an exciting adventure but this class just hit the wrong nerve. I mean honestly, really on the first day of class act this disrespectfully. Really it is their loss, not mine. I can just change the lesson as needed and they will never learn, it will effect their grades/future not mine.

China is great! The people (other than the 9th grade) are great and very kind.

But, really those lil kids are brats!!

1 people have been pushed out by my fears. | Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2009 23 August :: 9.50am
:: Music: Noses of Random chinese boy

China!
So I have arrived in China. Really so far not that exciting ( I mean it is but an airport is an airport). I don't speak chinese and no one speaks english, so that puts me in awkward situation. I think I keep on getting ripped off but what can you do? I dont know how much it should cost to sit at an interent cafe? or how much tea is or a sim card! But being able to e-mail my parents and go online for a little bit will hopefully make this 12 hour layover a lot easier!

The tea here is weird! Like alot of weird! It just leaves with hot water. I will get used to it but really not tea...you gotta let it simmer and mix together. Whatever I will get used to it and hopefully learn chinese.

So facebook, myspace, and blogging is banned in China. Totally suprised that this website is available (but I dont think anyone uses it). Which is good for me cause I wanted a place to write about my experiences.

I met a really nice girl named becca in LA and she helped me navigate the airport and get everything all set. Without her I would have probably failed some sorta Chinese regulation but overall everything was fine. If you have any type of flu they will quarantine you for 7 days until you are better! (the whole H1N1 influenza scare). I am not sick but the one moment I wanted to cough was infront of the passport lady!!

Everyone told me chinese food was terrible but so far it was good. (Airplane food does not count as chinese food and this terrible tea doesn't either). I had some bao? I dont know what its called (yet!) but its like the bao they sell on the first floor of water tower place. It was delicious, although, I couldn't make out the meat (just hope it wasn't pork, the girl asked for me but not sure the guy understood).

The chinese people are idk. They are very focused on themselves and its obvious. They don't really have customer service here but I really haven't met anyone terrible yet. On the plane, the men helped me with my bag but they weren't very nice about it (except the old man sitting next to me, sadly we didn't exchange one word because of the language barrier).

So I still have 8 hours until my plane even boards! I wish I was rich to spend the time in a hotel but an internet cafe is the best that I can do.

I remember telling my mom, I don't need to take that much food with me on the plane ride...totally should have taken much more because now that I realize I don't really know what is going on and that food is a difficult thing to access I am totally thankful for my mom!

This whole experience is helping me access how difficult it was for my parents to move to america! I know this temporary and I already have a job and I don't have kids..so it isn't at all like their experience. At the same time, I dont speak chinese and they spoke some english so I guess that helps bring the two fields closer. Nonetheless, the hardships my parents felt are still greater than what I will be feeling here!

This should be interesting!

2 people have been pushed out by my fears. | Have my fears pushed you out?


toki

:: 2009 24 January :: 5.54pm

I wish I could date rich korean guys

I hope that beotch will buy me shitty french food from her rich korean's restaurant.

If only I had the utter obscene talent to attract beautiful asian gentlemen.

Oh, that beotch is also very talented and not just at korean boys, at the very least.

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2008 29 October :: 11.59pm
:: Music: Foolish by Ashanti

Lost
I feel sick to my stomach and I dont know why..it feels like I did something wrong but I can't figure it out. Ugh..please let it not be a big deal. Inshallah everything will pass and I will go back to the way everything was a month ago....i miss Ramadan!! like alot...its weird cause during it i wanted to end, but now i miss it.

I miss a lot of things

this year is very different

alot is missing!

But, i dont want to replace any of it and will sit here missing it.

Ok 1,2,3 CHANGE.

I know thats not how it works but...its an idea!

Have my fears pushed you out?


sandatthebeach

:: 2008 10 April :: 12.15am

Goal:

-Work out every single day for the rest of the semester
-lose 5 pounds during the month of April
-refrain from eating anything past 8 PM

I hope that museum contacts me soon. They still have a little over a week before they're supposed to get back to me, but I really want that job. Gr.

Have my fears pushed you out?


toki

:: 2008 26 March :: 10.45am
:: Mood: Jittery
:: Music: Where Do We Go From Here?- BtVS

The curtains close on a kiss, god knows, we can tell the end is near
Negative:
-didn't get as much cleaning done as I wanted to
-didn't shoot for view camera last night
-not liking ac final
-not doing well in pj
-i get paid close to nothing
-the boy's internship might fall through
-my social awkwardness is getting worse and harder to deal with
-i only get one day of actual 'break type fun' this spring break
-i kind of want to go home and see moo
-i have cavities and avoiding the dentist is only making my anxiety about it worse
-one year until i graduate and realize i have no idea what to do with my life

Positive:
-no school or work!
-a summer with no school coming up
-the boy is coming home today!
-mr. f is pooping in his litter box
-buffy is amazingly distracting
-the ferrets don't smell anymore
-the boy still loves me even though he knows my big bad secrets
-i love buffy
-i love harry potter
-one year until europe!

I guess I'm trying to look at both and realize that the positive should outweigh the negative. They don't really. I think something might be wrong with my brain. I wish I wasn't so negative, but I really think I can't control it half the time.

I don't know...maybe I'm just stressed. ::shrugs::

These endless days are finally ending in a blaze

Have my fears pushed you out?


sweetyas

:: 2008 10 March :: 12.10am
:: Mood: stupid
:: Music: Quite library noise

I don't know...
so, sometimes i wish the world would make sense. I want the guy i like to like me and the guys that shouldn't like me to go away! its easy right!?!?!? I don't know what happened today...i just acted stupid. I mean i wanted to cuddle just not with him...at all! now, i opened pandora's box and have to deal with that stupid drama! Grr. I really should write my paper but i don't know, i just feel stupid and used!

I don't know whats wrong with my dumbass...i need to get out and get away...maybe i will plan a weekend extravaganza to somewhere!! :) i need a trip...ill probably end up going to Wisconsin...not exciting.

How to fix my life:
1. write paper
2. figure out car situation
3. talk to stupid boy
4.write second paper
5.do presentation
6. take out trash
7. make dentist appt.
8. get NEW contacts!!!!
9. tell theresa the website
10.start studying for the 2 tests on thursday!

Have my fears pushed you out?

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