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:: 2011 29 April :: 12.24 pm
:: Mood: anxious

Today... yesterday.
Shit seriously drives me crazy. I could not sleep at all last night, I had too many bad dreams.
Oh and there was my leg.
My leg which felt like the muscles were being ripped off of my bone with grinding and tendons snapping. 4 hours. I couldn't even walk. Fuck last night.

I wish I had a credit card... I need like 20 bucks. XD Ohh addiction~

I wish I could concentrate on everything I am feeling right now, but I can't. I just can't. I had dreams of so many people last night... people I've been in love with, people who have loved me, people who I've never met...and creatures that I'm only daydreamed about.

I am tired of thinking...

Myke got me a SHINEY buneary. I was ho happy I drew him a picture. I can't wait to meet her!


:: 2011 26 April :: 3.15 pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: "Carona and Lime" Shwayze

Say what? Nothing, that's what.
Boys are confusing. Why can't they be consistant? Call me a dramaqueen?


This is why time table sceduals (no spell check fuck libraries, you would think they would promote good spelling. =_=) were invented. To keep people happy and on time.

Life was easier before I went to Emmett... -facedesk-


:: 2011 14 April :: 6.39 pm
:: Mood: crushed

It's over.
I'm alone, scared, and trying to get healthy. I might use this to log all of my conciling journal entries so I can actually read them later on.

I have horribad handwriting.

I miss him so much. I don't want to do this alone. I don't want to be single.


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:: 2011 27 March :: 12.10 am
:: Mood: pissed off

Hacked and slash.
I'm shaking with anger.
I am sick and sore.

He asked me to forget it. Said that it doesn't matter anymore. Said that it doesn't effect us now.

I just want to scream, even if he's right.


:: 2011 21 March :: 2.51 pm
:: Mood: mellow

JOG 2.0
So I just went out and measured the whole area
of my garden, and I am a little overwhelmed. As
it turns out I ended up with ALOT more space
than I expected.

You see, the garden area was already plotted
out by the previous owners of this house, and
I had promised I would use it all. Well, up until
today I had thought that the garden was a wide
strip down the back fence, so I had been thinking
of that when I was deciding how to space my plants
On closer inspection I actually have an L shaped
plot going along the other edge of the side fence!

This garden is going to be so big! One stripe alone
is going to be 53 feet long, and the other part is
going to be 25 feet long. With 20ish feet width to
work with on both strips.

My previous decision to only plant 12 types of
vegetables is going to have to be revised... o_o

I was going to plant an herb garden on the side of
the house... but now I think I won't have the energy. x_x


:: 2011 21 March :: 2.24 pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: The opening of Reborn.

The (joy?) of gardening.
So I guess someone informed my mother in law that
I was going to be growing a big garden this year, because
I opened my door today to three thick books being thrust
into my face and a plate of brownies.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's willing to help me if I
need it... but it's not my first garden. XD Yeah I guess that
I've never planted outside of the city so I don't have to use
my little multi-level tricks and I have to re-learn the
tempeture dates out here in the country-side... but it's not like
I have to do perfect the first time yanno?

Oh well, I guess having some more gardening books would be nice.

I need to go get the roto-tiller out of storage soon, it's the
first day of spring!

^w^ I'm pretty excited! I haven't seen any tomato shoots
being sold here in town so I might go into the city this week
and start looking for things to start growing inside this month
so I'll have a head-start for May.


:: 2011 6 March :: 2.40 am
:: Mood: annoyed

I guess I could.
If you don't show I will be very displeased.


:: 2011 21 February :: 9.15 pm
:: Mood: bitchy

Rings and fish
Is there not one fucking adult in this fucking world who can go through life without giving me some shit-faced lie? Seriously? Anyone? I can't find one god damn mother fucker who will give me the facts up front no matter how harsh and displeasing.

If you're going to treat me like a queen, lie lie lie and keep me happy.
If you're going to treat me like an advisor, give me the harsh reality so I can figure out what the next step is.


Ugh, I am without a doubt dating the most honest person in the world. That, if nothing else, is my one comfort in the fucked up situation.

Mom's out of the hospital, doing dandy she says. Grandma told me to take it with a grain of salt, that she is over confident.

Story of my life. I've been guzzling salt for years.


:: 2011 20 February :: 5.36 pm
:: Mood: lethargic

Making homemade pizza tonight. I get hungrier the longer it cooks. I'm going to eat my arm before it's done. I swear.

My check up is in afew weeks, I'm sort of nervous. There is so much that can go wrong. I don't want the doctor to tell me that I lost my chance last year. I don't want to live with myself if I'm actually... ugh. I don't want to think about it. Insurance covers "don't doom me" expenses in healthcare, right?

A girl can hope.

Haven't drank since that night, been having cravings. Too bad plastic surgery doesn't fix addiction. I can slim the nose my father gave me, but not erase the booze on the night stand.

Likely to not go to AO, I'm just not looking forward to much. There are various people I can live without seeing in person again. Huff.


:: 2011 11 February :: 9.48 pm
:: Mood: disappointed

Went and did laundry today, it was pretty boring.

Went to the post office, my package still isn't here. I'm getting pretty frustrated, she said she mailed it just after Christmas. Either she lied or the US postal service is a bunch of fuckers. I am going to be wildly disappointed if it got sent back to her old house, no-one is there. It's never fucking going to make it here if that happens.

I've gotten addicted to this poke-farm game. It's pretty bland, but I'll enjoy it for a week or two. That's all that matters.
Party image

So ah... click em.

I guess that's all.


:: 2011 11 February :: 2.12 am
:: Mood: busy

Knock knock.
The inspection went well. What inspection? Never-mind, it's not important anymore.

Being a recluse as usual.
Spent most of the day watching sexy sexy Taylor Mumson wear little to no clothes. Oh she sings too, but really... Mmmm grey area how I love you.
I'm sure Jon would love you too. Huur mean joke.

I guess my heart goes out to him for losing his alpha-womb, but she really just lied, stole, and cheated through life - possibly being the cause of all the asshole he drips with constantly. It's never easy to lose someone like that, but really, he might recover from his sickness now that he's able to move away from her influence.
She also, has a chance to be reborn with a clean script, and write herself a better life next time around.
Huur another joke, related to prescription drug addiction.

Who knows? If he does find his way into a normal life, he might return my baby to me.

Yes, I remember. Don't think for a second that I will ever forget. You stole my child away, and you will return it. You KNOW what that beautiful angel means to me.

Moving on: My Tobertron is adorable as usual.
Joanne is thinking of getting rid of Scotch and I am a little heart broken about it. Over time he's become like my retarded son who is constantly needy and too stupid to realize how annoying he is.



:: 2011 13 January :: 2.36 am
:: Mood: weak

Drank too much, had alcohol poisoning. It was pretty intense, thought my appendix burst. What a pain in my ass, I was looking forward to having nice calm hangover day.

Getting pretty tired of my car being broken all the time. It's one thing after the other.

Really really bored.
I want a rockstar.

Joe got me the new Golden Sun game, it would be awesome if I had my DS back. I think about how much I miss it everyday. I would do anything to get it back.
Anyway, I like the game. Kinda disappointed that the Water Adept is do dumb looking. I usually love the water adepts. I haven't really connected with any of the characters yet. It's kinda sad, but it's not something that ruins the game.

The power system is pretty clunky though, so that's unfortunate.

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:: 2011 9 January :: 11.17 pm
:: Mood: high

I guess I'm going to the bar on Tuesday, boring boring. I want to go to boise.
I want my Myke to come back.

Feeling like having another baby.

I should combine these two posts.


:: 2011 9 January :: 11.11 pm
:: Mood: drunk

Deleted a buttload of entries. Got tired of being private, boring boring.

Going to dye my hair, dip-dye-duhhhh. Hahahhahahaha!

Oh! Oh no-ohohoh~
I'm gonna fly.
I'mma fail
gonna die die die die!

Haha, Jon would love to see me now. How scandalous!
I'm back, children... let's go have some fun, non?



:: 2010 28 December :: 11.31 pm
:: Mood: drained

Petite Fleur:
I wish you would just talk to me, one on one. You're so dumb sometimes. She's been asking me such odd questions lately, this girl you have for yourself. I don't get it.

I wish you would explain.

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:: 2010 16 January :: 1.45 am
:: Mood: bouncy

Choo choo!
Hey guys! Here's a public one to promote my bad writing. XD
I have started a writing journal for all of my brain dump needs. :D

Omg look at my ghetto fab button. XD Anyway yes, feel free to go read it, or avoid it like the plague! Whatever!

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