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Stuck in the Past

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:: 2006 7 May :: 12.20 pm
:: Music: War

I'm done with college now and what not. My roommates REALLY boned me yesterday. They all left a present for me. Nic didn't really clean the bathroom very well, leland left a whole bunch of rotten food, and jarrid left behind various things, including his important dog tag and a big ol' case of diet mountain dew.
Afterwards, we went to the ol' race track, to watch our newest horse go fail miserably like all the rest. didn't suck. It won. It would have ripped all the other horses apart too, but it got out of the gates pretty bad. Anyway, enough horse talk.
Today was kinda exciting though. I woke up early and hung out with my parents. I helped my dad with some chores, and we did other stuff. I did want to go to that band concert today, and I'm sorry I didn't. My dad really had his heart set on us seeing MI 3, so, I went to that. Besides, I really wasn't feeling the whole, "Sit cramped for an hour thing" at the moment. Especially since I'm not even playing anymore. I DO want to meet up with everyone again, so I'm sure I'll find a time to do that.
But seriously, Tom Cruise? In MI3? Uhhhh yea. He is fucking creepy. Just...I hate his smile. It freaks me out waaaaaay to much.
After that, bill, david, and his sister hung out just like the good old days. Ah, the good old days, where calling someone a douchebag was a viable comeback. Good times. Gooooooodtimes.
I'm supposed to get a call tomorrow from Charlie about Wendy's. Dear GOD I hope a I get a job this summer. Everyone mocks me for just mooching off my parents, but I've never liked doing that. I don't enjoy it. I hate myself for it every time I have to ask for money. I'm 20 and its no different for me than being 12. It'd do me some good to have a job, too.
Dez is coming in this friday. Yay and stuff for that. If you want to meet her and hang out with her, gimme a ring or whatnot.
Oh, and kevin, if you see this, one of those nights you are throwing an uberlan. Because I said so. Well, she did too, but I'm clearly more important.
Anywho, I'm off to bed. I'll see you kids later.

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:: 2006 5 May :: 12.40 am
:: Music: none

This sums up my comic not being worked on.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Yea. I'll do a real update on my journal some other time.

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:: 2006 2 May :: 3.52 pm

Don't judge me!
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

If you aren't easily offended and are into cheap jokes, you should seriously give that website a spin.

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:: 2006 1 May :: 12.30 am
:: Music: Leland's gunstar game

Gaaaaaaah! Noes! The exams are coming for me!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!!!!
Actually, I really don't care. I'll be doing some studying over the next few days, just enough to get some B's.
On the money front, I applied for some jobs today, and I have a pretty good chance at a couple different locations. I'm not really picky though, so pretty much whoever gives me a ring first wins an uber employee. I really just want to start raising up some money for a new laptop and some spare monies for the bank.
On the feelings front, I'm in kind of a blah mood. Still got the usual loner shit going on, but for some reason or another, I'm kinda happy right now. I blame the lack of sleep, as that seems to numb everything down. Had a cool time at Phil's last night, good to hang out with phil, will, zack, and the guitar heroes. You know who you are. I'm really getting out of shape and have decided I'm changing that tonight. Workouts and everything, dammit. I'm tired of walking around having my friends call me a fattie! I'm sure I haven't broken 175 pounds, but the name calling shall stop!
Tomorrow is my first exam at 8 am. I gotta talk about how my writing has improved within this first semester of classes. Which is stupid. This teacher hasn't done anything to make me feel motivated to write, or even to care about my papers, so my style of pretty cool B+ A- hasn't changed. I know I should be self motivated, but seriously man, I'm too busy worrying about other crap to concern myself with minor tweaks in my writing style.
At any rate, I really just wanted to update to show I'm still doing it, and I'll see ya all later.

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:: 2006 23 April :: 9.45 am
:: Music: Silence

Oh my gawd, I'm updating my journal within a week of the last time I did it. Let us rejoice!
Actually, I've been up all night, unable to sleep. This insomnia crap really needs to stop, and yet it keeps happening. How I haven't died yet from sleep deprevation is a mystery to me and modern medicine.
This ten page paper of mine has just sat on my desktop all week. I don't want to even bullshit anymore. I want college to be done. I'm only a freshman and I can't stand it any longer. I want some fucking direction, as in what I'm going to do with my life, but I'm not getting it. My advisor has been out all week, as she is an honors advisor, apparently I'm too cool to meet with a normal one.
My grades are lower than...look, I've been up all night, to hell with anyone who wants a clever analogy! I've probably gotten all C's this semester, and I doubt I passed my math class. Its not hard, I just haven't gone in awhile. I've tried, but I miss the memos about class being elsewhere, and all this other crap.
I just want to go home. I'm not ready for maturity and adulthood yet. I figured I wasn't going in, but other than college there isn't a whole hell of a lot I could do otherwise. Go home, get a job, hang out with my friends again, that sort of thing. Go back this fall and maybe get out more and do stuff. Probably go find a girlfriend, if I can. But, I've proven over the past few days that I don't really have it going on with the ladies. Simple questions in class turn into arguments, with me wanting to choke them out of stupidity. I had a problem with a girl in geology class earlier this year, and this is kinda the same dealio, but a different idiot. I'm in my english class, when the teacher says, "Look to the person to your left and discuss abortion." I look to the girl on my left and laugh, and say:
Me: haha, well, I got into a fight earlier this year with another girl on the same subject.
girl: *giggles* Yes, its a highly debated topic
Me: Yea. For the safety of what little of a relationship you and I have now, why don't you tell me your view first?
girl: No, you tell me first. I promise I won't fight with you over something like this.
Me: *I explain my view, and if you haven't heard it before, its that I think it is acceptable depending on many variables. I don't think its the new birth control, but I think in some cases its ok*
girl: *looks at me disgusted* so you believe in brutally slaughtering human lives?
Me: Uhh...if you want to twist words, yes, I guess thats true.
girl: *even more revolted* men are such pigs. This is how unwanted babies get born.
Me: ...did you just blame unwanted children on men?
girl: If you guys could keep it in your pants, this wouldn't be a problem!
Yes, it only got worse from here. "Dickhead", "blind feminist idiot", and other various words were used frequently. After all this, the teacher looked at us and said, "See how it was so difficult to discuss? That is why I don't want you to write essays on these subjects for your final paper." I looked at the girl and laughed, and said:
Me: Well, I guess the moral here is to keep stuff to yourself, or some other crap like that.
Girl: Yes, keep your murderous opinions to yourself. Honestly, if women could reproduce with each other, men would be obsolete.
I'm just stunned girls can be this freakin' stupid. I'm also stunned as to the stupidity of letting students talk to each other about a heated topic like that. I'm also stunned that I FIND ALL THE CRAZY AND STUPID GIRLS!!! Why can't I find one that is like me and says, "Yes, I can see where you are coming from, but in my humble opinion, I believe...". Where are THOSE girls? Are they hiding? Are they all watching as I struggle and laughing? Do they already have boyfriends? Where the HELL are my pants?!
Now I'm just ranting. I blame the zero hours of sleep, and the ten page paper that I haven't really started.
Gar...maybe I should follow mom's advice and get laid.
Anyway, peace out kids.

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:: 2006 21 April :: 12.39 pm

One other thing
A quote ( lyrics) that I really like:

Now we just try to understand each other until nothing remains, and eventually, we will find out that is everything to us.

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:: 2006 21 April :: 12.10 pm
:: Music: Haruka Kanata (If you don't know it, look it up)

Its been a few months
Gar, its been a few months, and like the past jillion times, I broke my idea about updating more frequently. Its not my fault! I blame Canada, because I can.
But lets see...what is new...
College is still a bitch. I still don't enjoy it, and I'm counting down the days til it ends. Its been nothing more than a high school without parents, which apparently I suck at.
Lately I've taken up an interest in a new anime, and that would be Naruto. But if you go thinking I'm an anime freak, I'll kick your ass, because I really only like two of em. 50 points if you know the other one I used to watch.
I'm really getting sick of my family too. I don't know why. I love em to tears, but I question at times whether they care if I'm alive or dead. On easter sunday my grandmother was around my two cousins all day, and I didn't get to talk to her or anything. Like always, those reunions suck because I have nobody to talk to or anything.
I should probably break out some good news since its been a waahhh fest this whole time...oh, Dez is comin down from Canada on the 12th. If you don't play Wow then you won't have a clue what I'm talkin about, and thats alright.
Hmm...what else...I possibly could have a job this summer. GASP. Addison...and don't see it either, do you? All I have to do is get up off my lazy ass and make one phone call and see if there is still an opening. But, if college has taught me anything, I can be one big ol' lazy ass.
In Psychology, we have to turn in our big research papers on a given topic on Tuesday. We've been working on these puppies all semester long, and we'll show all our classmates what we've been working on. What topic did I choose? Well, I've been thinking about Free will, and, I mean, I CHOSE free will a long time ago and I've been working on it...yes. That is what I meant to say.
Ahem, er, yes, other than that, I'm waiting for college to end so I can go see all my cedar springian friends. Not the ones here at college though. I've got my own reasons for not giving a rat's ass about the ones here.
Anywho, I got class in like 20 minutes, so I'll catch you kids later.

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:: 2006 27 February :: 10.58 am
:: Music: Radio

ZOMG! He isn't dead?!
No, I'm not dead yet. I'm stuff. You wouldn't understand! DON'T JUDGE ME!!!
Actually, Central is trying to keep me as busy as possible with the dumbest stuff possible. We have floor wars going on, which means all the floors in our building are in competition with each other. When I asked why at a mandatory floor meeting as to why we couldn't compete against other buildings on campus, the head chick literally said, "That would just be idiotic and pointless!" ZOUNDS!
At any rate, classes are going poorly. Not because I don't understand, but mostly because I'm bored out of my skull, and I'm very disappointed. I took astronomy because it interested me as a child, and this slack-jawed junkslut of a teacher has managed to put me asleep three times. But thats ok, his personal best was putting about 30 kids to sleep in about 20 minutes. Do you realize that he is going at a rate FASTER than one kid a minute?! My english teacher likes to tell me that I have a tone that makes my tone too conversational. When she told me how to fix it and I told her that I didn't want to write like an elitist asshole...well, we had a nice long conference. My honors psych teacher is cool, I guess. He is kinda weird, but hell, he is a psychologist, so I went in there expecting him to be very weird. My art class is gone, for those of you who don't know. I sucked too hard and figured there was no way I was going to get the drawing skills I wanted from doing still life projects.
Lets birthday is coming up pretty soon. March 11 and I'll be 20. I don't really care, but there are presents and money, and like the sterotype suggests, YES, as a college kid, I'll take any and all freebies.
Our mare finally gave birth the other day...that is a female horse, for all of you staring at my screen blankly. Its this cool looking tan baby, with one white sock on its front left leg, and its face has a big ol' piece of white on its face. My dad wants to put either moon or dashin in its name because those are parts of the names from the father and mother. When I suggested 'moonfire spam' and laughed, I remembered not everyone is a world of warcraft nerd...
At any rate, I am going to start using this site from now on. I mean it this time. I want to get back in touch with Chris, Liz, possibly Moe, if he hasn't killed himself on his skateboard yet.
To all those named CHRIS BEST, please call me on my cell phone. I deleted your number, and would like to work out a time to hang out with you again.

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:: 2005 2 October :: 11.01 pm
:: Mood: Haha
:: Music: Haha

I just took one of those tests that you need to take to sign up for an online account that 'checks your reading' abilities or whatever, were it makes you type some random letters. I just got,


No joke, for those of you who understand.

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:: 2005 2 October :: 10.17 pm
:: Mood: Alone
:: Music: Bombs Over Baghdad

Ever feel this way?
Well, I hung out with Nate tonight. It was alright, and he forced me to meet some girls. I talked to them for a long time, and there was one in there I've been thinking about for quite awhile now. And I can safely say I won't have to worry about asking her out.

After talking to that group of girls, I get this feeling that I'm gonna be by myself for a looooooong time. All the girls here in the honors dorm in Trout just seem...boring. I blame Cedar. Cedar has made me expect girls to be loud, bitchy, annoying, crazy, cool, etc. Or any combination of the previous. Here, they just sit around and talk about how they can't eat sugar anymore.
Nate DID make me realize something though. I CAN get out there and talk to people, but there is a huge hitch. I need someone to be with when I'm doing it. Someone who has my back and can fly in and do damage control if I say something stupid.
I guess with the girls I met earlier, it was the first time we met, so its possible they just didn't know what to say, and, "I can't eat sugar" was just the first thing that came to mind.
Yea, this weekend was nice though. I enjoyed hanging out with Chris again, I've forgotten how much fun it is. Plus Red Flannel is a HELL of a lot more fun when you AREN'T marching.
After that, David, Chris, Rob (Chris's friend) and I went to see 'serenity' at Star. That movie kicked some serious ass. Plus I found it humorous that everyone but me was freaked out by a movie.
Ah, the Reavers...I eatzor yous! Lets us go to ze Steak & Shake!
Anyway, I gotta get going. You kids keep on trucking.

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:: 2005 29 September :: 7.09 pm
:: Music: This Machine (Twenty points if you know where its from!)

Still here
So here it is, a frigid thursday night. I'm stuck in my room desperately trying to bullshit a pages worth of information for my honors class (AGAIN).

I took my first official test in college today. I didn't do so well. I think I know something I should remember when I become a teacher.
I studied dates for a long ass time, tons of court cases, and went over the admendments in the back of the book. I was told these were 'important for the test', yet they were so important, they didn't show up. What DID show up, however, was all the shit I should have been studying. Latin phrases, random vocabulary I hadn't heard of, and more latin phrases...did I mention that latin showed up quite a bit? Oh, and I have a question. Who the hell intials Lyndon Johnson's name?! I saw a list of presidents for one of the questions that read,
Ford, Carter, LBJ.
Did el BJ die in an assaination? No. Did he stop pollution? No. All he did was take over for Kennedy. To me, that DOES NOT warrent intials. But thats just me.
Other than that, college is fair. I sat with a group of girls on Tuesday (OMFG) and tried talking to them, but none of them really interested me. They all seemed kind of boring. But it was about 9:30 in the morning, and I had been up for about 4 hours, so I wasn't really awake. I guess they could have been offering free sex and I missed it, but I highly doubt it since I remember one of them talking about how we shouldn't kill defenseless animals for food. I don't see her jumping from "People shouldn't eat rabbits. How are they supposed to defend themselves", to "Wanna do it on this table?"
I've also thought more about seriously doing a comic, but no longer with Bill and Bob, actually. I've debated making one and basing it on college and the people I know. I think it would be pretty good, and I've been jotting down ideas for when I learn to draw. Although if Central is anything like Cedar, it'll offer a million drawing classes, but I won't get into any of them.
As much as I'm sure everyone enjoys my bitching, I should get going. I have to talk for a page about whether or not grades matter, whats the purpose of college grades, and are B's ok? OR I can take the classy route and talk about a class that doesn't give grades but instead has tons of feedback, then at the end you pass or fail.

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:: 2005 22 September :: 10.09 am
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful

Gah...screw honors.
I haven't really been enjoying college lately. Everyday in class I'm praying that something happens and we get to leave. Its just boring. Its like high school minus all fun. The only good times I have are in my dorm, where I hang out with my roomies, play Wow, or work on my many crappy assignments. Its just depressing. I was promised college was gonna be this hypercool awesome super action packed adventure, and so far the only adventure has been trying to find my way back from a 'Hearing and sight testing center'.
The honors program sure as hell isn't helping either. I wouldn't be in it at all if honors kids didn't get to choose what courses they want OVER everyone else. In my honors packet, it says that honors students are typically frustrated by busy work, and our aim is to eliminate that in honor classes. So, for my mandatory honors class I have to take, I have to write a tributary about myself for when I die, and write why I went to college. HMMMMMMMMM...
I just haven't been enjoying college. I've been trying, but I don't like it. Unless I'm really missing something, its just been a really shitty experience I wish I could just skip.

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:: 2005 13 September :: 11.32 am
:: Mood: meh

I guess the poll option is gone. Oh well.

I have to write a letter to a teacher for my edu class, and I'm having trouble deciding who to send one to. Should it be...

Fournier...j/k man, j/k.
teacher from middle school
Holtrop...I'll learn to spell her name
Or a combination of the above?

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:: 2005 13 September :: 9.34 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Weezer (Still)

More of it
So, I'm still here at Central. Imagine.

Jarrid, Leland and myself have talked about some weird stuff, but I think we all agree we can stand one another. Nic is the only one I'm nervous about. He is hyper-religious and I usually don't get along with those people. Doesn't mean I won't try, it just kind of creeps me out. The other night some kid came by and asked if Nic was in. He was praying by his bed, and I didn't really know what to do. He had the light dimmed and everything, and I didn't know if I was supposed to go in there, if he was channeling his chi, or just in a really screwy position. Thankfully, Nic came to the door and talked to the guy anyway.

Still no friends here at Central. I'm kind of trying, but its not an easy thing. I kind of talked to a girl named, "Seaworld" last night, but I doubt I'll talk to her again. She seems like the girl thats all "Gasp! Puppies and kitties!"

I watched a video today about 'amazing' teachers, and some of them were actually pretty smart about how they went about their teaching. This science teacher built a mini space station that students had to live in for about 5 days or so, and they had to solve problems, check on how being stuck in a little area was affecting them, and trying not to kill each other. I thought that was a real cool way of teaching kids a few things about astronomy and mathematics.

And now, I'm going to make a poll if I still can, and I expect everyone to pass their decision.

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:: 2005 7 September :: 3.16 pm
:: Mood: 21
:: Music: Weezer. They kick ass

Well, today was an interesting day. I slept past breakfast, and I could have gone for lunch, but eating burgers at 10:45 didn't sound too hot. So, I didn't eat lunch, and wound up going to class, then made up some story for my speech class and people thought it was funny. If only my real life was that interesting. Speech is crazy though, because our CHINESE teacher that just moved here is trying to understand how to work as a teacher and how to connect with her students. Today we learned fuck in chinese. I like to think of myself as slightly more cultured now. Since I didn't eat breakfast, my stomach was roaring as these two girls were next to me looking at me funny. I didn't eat breakfast, I said. My stomach growled again and they both just laughed and said it made sense. It was vicious though. Just kind of like a "GWAR, I'm hungry you asshole, feed me!"

Went to my earth processes class, and I am going to suck at it. I can't concentrate in a class for 2 hours. I just can't. I know I should be able to and whatever, but its not possible. 1 and a half hours roll around and I start thinking about anything but the earth. I went from measuring degrees to family guy, to porn, back to family guy, to food, to world of warcraft, to my friends, to food, and finally back to family guy. Missed everything the guy said, and then we had to do a little worksheet on what he said. Fortunately, I can bullshit like no other, so I had it done and almost correct in no time.

I'm back at my room now, and I think I'll get to work on my teaching stuff. Or play world of warcraft. I guess we'll see.

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