ya i dont care ne more!
Hey Ya'll i am sorry that is always put the topic on me sara, but if i try to talk about you and help you you get pissed, "I dont want to talk about it" i respect that, and i wont ask you ne more than once okay, but if i dont talk about you who do i talk about, if i cant talk about me?? i dont really want to talk about others too much cuz that is gosiping. Right now i feel really sorry i was ever born cuz all i ever did was make people mad, my parents say i fuckted up thier life, they say i fuckted up mine, i mean truely what do i have to live for? nothin! i am soory for makin ne of you hurt, but i dont wanna waste yur time no more i gotta go rite a goodbye letter just incase....i might not tonite but maybee, i just wanna be prepared. Bye!

blah
ma head really hurts and i am hot and i got a 0 on ma math quiz and now i have to sell ma g pigs at the shiw Fuck it all well g2 g!

oh yeah i have to put sunthing here he he hhe
okay rite now it is raining, raining only on my house, i looked across the street and it was dry but rite over my house it is like super raining!!!!! woow rite now it got louder, it is scary! but then in the back yard there is a circle of light and dry, and all around that, well now i cant even see outside that is how rainy it is, well i gotta go, i think the dogs are locked outside!!!

he he he he
we went on this long ass drive yesterday, like four hours away, because we were going to this horse trailer place to buy one, but we get all the fuck out there, and then we find out it turned into a barn store, like were they seel tuff sheds, and barns. so we start drivin back in the rain in the middle of the boonies, i was late for work, actually to late that i had to call and cancel.it was like who gives a fuck time, and my mom's friend Val, the one that took her to that gelding sale, wel ne wy she calls and says, hey kathy ya know that mare that you like so much out at m place, the one you always ride, well you can have her, as for long-term(forever) because i cant ride two horses at once and she is sturdy enough for you, i would sell her to you but i have had her so long, so you can borrow her for as long as whatever! so now my has this gorgeous mare, that i am not aloud to ride, and we did not yet sell Pico as a bronk and now we might not, so my mom has two horses, and i have none! she cant even ride for one thing, and i am the one who actually has been training and goin to shows, she is to nervous to enter in a show, hey Vall wat about me, the one that actually rides, what the fuck is goin on in ma life, i mean its like everything never turns out good for me but others, they get everything. there is a box of donuts sitting on the counter and i want one but i dont know what they are for, ne way my dad would not let me eat anything ne way. gotta go insom insomia o whateva that show on Vh1 is almost ova and i gtta go whach it and it is rainin really really hard! LOL

hey.....
Well ood thing i did not pass out last nite, because ma favorite MTV show came on! Well ya really felt like i was gonna though, so after the show i went to bed and wen ma dad came home, oh neva mind. My mom was here this morn, she bid on a gorgeous horse at the Gelding sale she went to yesterday, but it went for more than we could afford, she was willing to really stretch and pay 5,000, but it passed that up quik and went fo 10,000 wich in tha horse world is about right considering it was a magnificent horse, it walked through crouds and did not even flinch it was gorgeous and well built, to bad i really wanted to have a horse again... now i am gonna cry cuz im thinkin about Pongo, i loved him soooo much he was ma friend that i could do ne thin to and he still would love me all the same i miss him sooo much and you guys cant even begin to undersdtand how much that horse menant to me, cuz afta he was gone that is when i began to crash and burn. I finally know what happened to him, Lou the guy that owned the ranch we bought him from, well we had payed him 6,000 for this horse,(he was worth it becuase he was only two and he would last me all ma short life, and he was amazing, beutiful and soo good under a saddle!) ne way we worked out there free of charge feedin his horses and stuff and takin care of them, i would train some of that yearlings and work on tha older ones, it was sooo fun, i could practice my rodeo skills with yearlings and then i would go out in tha pasture with the prego mares ( the expecting mares, they had thier own pasture) they were nice and i saw all the new born babies, it was a wonderfull time i could be with my horses and they loved and i loved them i took care of all of them i aven knew all thier names! t( there were at least 300 or 400 horses out there) we worked every day of the week in tha morn. and afternoon feedin and waterin, and well long story made short, lou took him back because he said we didnot give him enough money...and we worked all that for like two years, i mean does that not mean ne thin, and we paid cash 6,000 i jus dont undastand, we did not even get our money back, and Picaso the one we have to sell as a bronk rider was more he cost 7,000 but he was also a beutiful horse. well i got 2 go britt is waitin fo me to call her and i think i have to go to work today maybe i will call in sick he he he he. well bye guys

hhhhhhhhhhhi
hey i got things to say, i just cant say them, got places to go but no transportation, people to talk to but they have turned away, OMFG my head hurts i am hungry, my dad brought three pizzas for those basketball brats, and they wont be back till ten tonite, and my mom is hel knows were, not like i care! oh and my bro was playin with sumthin and he used a knife to get it open, and well tha knife is still sittin on the coffetable and it just keeps lookin at me and i pick it up put it in front of me, and then i think of sum of ma friends that i did not end the day right with them and i think how bad they would feel if i died and that last words they said to me is WTF then i put it down, but everytime i pick it up it gets closer, so when i am done with this i am gonna put it away before i go to far. i need to talk to one of ma friends this weekend, like have them come ova to ma house, but i do not no ronnies numba, and sara probly does not want to talk to me, and well hey maybe you sierra, give me a ring on my celly and leave a message please i need a friend to pull me through this. well my head hurts i serioously not jokin not tryin to get attention sort a thin i feel like in a few min. i am gonna pass out or like just collapse and die, i really dont feel good so i gotta go, because if i pass out here then when ma parents come home they will see MTV on and i will be in trouble i am probably just hazzy from gettin high but whateva g2g.

hey
this one will be quick because balke is hovering over my shoulder. i think sara is realluy mad at me and at ome i feel like doing it but ya know i wont it just makes it worse that sara wont talk to me! bye!

i got to go potty!
this morning my face was the size of a blimp becuase i had an allergic reaction to sumthin! ya well my mom and dad made me go to school with a blimp face, although it had gone down a lot, well i have to go becuase i really have to use the restroom!!!! bye bye bye!