"..Love sneaks up on us like children coming around the corner.
It can happen from time to time: gently, surprisingly,
We find ourselves less distraught or sad, if only for a bit..."

 

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dragon-bearer

:: 2006 22 November :: 1.18pm

Friends
They are the real thing.
They are the ones who truly care about you.
They are what matters most.
There's nothing more to say.

...But...

I love them.

1 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2006 27 October :: 9.39am

So she wouldn't let Ryan stay over because she was uncomfortable...
It's my room too, you know.
You let people come over all the time.
Watch my movies.
Sit in my chair.

Fuck that.
And fuck you.

Grr


TornPrince

:: 2006 0 October :: 12.00am

2 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


holdme

:: 2006 12 January :: 6.05pm

Hold on
now. You two.

Do you know how much I miss you?
You were everything. I didn't think about you as much as I should have. And I lost you. We had everything in common. I don't know why I was so selfish. I don't know you now. It hurts so much.
I miss our card games. Speed, Egyptain, War... they ment more than it seems like.
I miss our chess. I'd basically force you to... then you got good... and I was horrible! -.-
I miss puyopuyo.
I miss our sleepovers. It was never weird sleeping in the same bed.
I miss our talks. We could cover everything in the universe by dinner time... how can this be? How did I stop this? How can I start it again?
I miss you more than anything. Except for the next one.

As for you... I really really care. You had been with me forever it seemed... I couldn't remember a time when we weren't friends. When you come back... we won't be. I cried to Ryan last night about you.
I miss our talks. Sexual innuendo, however crude or rude, we could always laugh together.
I miss our DDR. You were always better than me. But I loved you because you helped me made me get better.
I miss our sleepovers. "Retard it" "Pringles top" "I'm sorry, but your fingers are tooooooo faaaat, for a special dialing wand, please press one." Remember the one where you had been playing SIMs the entire day previous? Then you yelled in your sleep in sim lingual... I was afraid you were going to murder me.
I miss our board games. You always played LIFE with me no matter how much you were sick of it.
I miss our card games. You slapped with your nails and won every time. Never a poor sport.
I miss your air. I miss just... being around you. You always asked what was the matter~it seemed like you really cared.
I miss you more than anything. Except for the previous one.

I don't think I'm as much work as I used to be.
Loosing these two ladies were the mistakes of my life.
I've cried gallons over them~good and bad~irrational and rational.
I just... overreacted. I can't tell you how much I'm sorry. I can't explain how much I've grown up. I can't express all of my regret.
It was all about me.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry...

I love you both,
Lauren

Grr


holdme

:: 2005 14 May :: 10.13pm

How can I deal with this life anymore?


I want to die.

3 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2005 8 May :: 8.38am

I just popped up to say hello



and now I've gone back down below...

5 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


holdme

:: 2005 30 April :: 6.47pm

I wish I was Hot Carl Junior.

Grr


holdme

:: 2005 28 April :: 7.05pm

I don't.
And yes you are.

Grr


holdme

:: 2005 24 April :: 4.07pm

I talked to mom.
I told her everything I've been dealing with lately... Nathan, Brooke, Anna, Amelia, Patrick... She was really blown away by what I had to tell her. She's worried about me. She said I shouldn't have to deal with such heavy problems. I also told her about how I feel about religion and getting older.

She understands.

Grr


holdme

:: 2005 23 April :: 9.38am

Well... no entries in a very long time.
I've read a few of the previous ones. They make me angry.
I can't seem to want to grow up... I haven't even gotten my permit. I'm faily history. Many people seem to hate me too. I don't really know what to do anymore. If any of you have it together, please tell me. I'm so frustrated. I'm jealous and pissed. I want to kill 4 people... and maybe 1 more. I just want them out of my life forever. I don't understand how she can be so happy... She smiles so much now, no stressing... She has him. By the way, if none of you knew, my best friend stopped being friends with me... twice. How can Anna move on so fast? Nope, how can Amelia? I think she was the person who made me cry the most, yet in my life. But I'm not happy she's gone. There is kind of a gaping hole. I don't know what I'm feeling now. Mike is a bitch. He's one of the people I want to kill currently. I kind of feel like cutting. I know it's no way out, but it might releave some of the pressure going through my life right now. My parents are there for me they say... but they don't seem to be. Life's a bitch and then you die. I think I'm heading for death right now... because I have sunk into the worst place yet. I thought it would get better 2 months earlier... but hey, it hasn't.
Maybe once I start feeling better about myself, my life will get better. But to feel better about me, I have to apply myself...

...Not going to happen.
Hate on.

2 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2005 6 March :: 9.26am

Hi all. I'm switching journals, so just sos you now, my username is rorin. I also have switched email... but I'm waiting for AIM. I have to tell everyone of my buddies I'm switching and that may take a while. I'm getting a little tired of 'dragon-bearer'... it's just... it's a name i thought up and isn't really special to me. So I'm rorin, remember that. email is rorinh@hotmail.com.

Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2005 5 March :: 8.07pm

Mike makes everything better again. I'm glad to know someone agrees with me in the matter. And I do hope it crushes that life (in a sence). But I'm kind of worried about her now. Because if she doesn't find someone who makes her feel like she's better than what this one says... She may be in for the very same fate as I.

Read more..

4 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2005 5 March :: 2.29pm

Fuck you. You don't diserve the life you have because you treat it like shit anyways. If it was all about me, then I wouldn't have cared so much about you before. But you have been the point of my disgust since you became such an evil person. I'm glad you're gone. And I'm glad I don't have to deal with you anymore. However, I'm not glad you are still here abusing the people around you. With every breath you have, you seem to hate. Your heart is black. So once more, goodbye.

Something else, I lost my math book... So if any of you have seen it, give me a ring.

Doing homework today... how lovely...

I am pretty sure I'm okay now. After going over everything in my head, I'm doing just fine and all is well. Though I still have strong feelings about everything, I'm not going to put all my time and energy into it.

1 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2005 4 March :: 10.30pm

10 paragraphs about ten people
1. It's hard to say how much you mean to me. We've been friends our entire lives. You know so much about me. But there's still more to learn. I fight with you a lot... but then we joke around and I know everything is okay. We don't spend so much time with each other these days, but that makes it so much more special when we get together. I love you.

2. We met in the ninth grade... and we've grown so close. You are my shining star. You are my one and only. You are my soul mate. I don't think I could live without you... truly living can't be without love. We started talking a few weeks ago about what you went through in your childhood. I'm glad I have discovered this different side of you I have never seen before. You make me so happy. And when I see you, I light up and my thoughts go right back to when I saw you standing in the rain... ready to hold me in your arms. I feel so warm when I'm with you. I love you.

3. You are so crazy. I like to think I've made you that way. We had such fun times in the 4th grade... The same mind-set then, I do believe. And we pointed out the other day how we know exactly what eachother is going to say right before we say it. You are so much fun! You share your joy with everyone around you. I like that you can make the whole room you are in laugh so insainly. And even though you have such a rough life (with so much more problems than you diserve), you make the best out of it all. You are the strongest person I know. And you are so increadably beautiful inside and out. I love you.

4. You continue to make me smile every morning. When I walk into that room and I see your face beam, it makes me feel excited at the conversations to come. Some of the best times we've had together were when it was dark. I remember playing with your glow-in-the-dark oujie board! XDD Voldemort in the hizzie!!! Oh, good times, good times. And then when we did the commercials! "MILK, MILK, MILK IS GOOD!" *gwaf* You are one of a kind, hun, and I wouldn't trade the friendship we have with eachother for anything.

5. Health class. What a hoot. That was the best class I've ever been in. And to share it with such a colorful person? I'm blessed. When you are around me, I don't really hide much. I can talk to you about certain things and you would know how I feel. I believe we have quite a connection. The class is not as fun as it was with you... I'll manage somehow, but I was looking forward to studying for the giant test at the end, together. My diligent friend, we've shared a great deal of stories and I feel my secrets are safe with you... And of course you can trust me with whatever is on your mind. I love you.

6. You... you... you are the most friendly person I have ever met. I thought I loved you before, did you know? I'm sure you did. Your hugs and kindness made me feel so welcome in the POD... When Amanda walked straight over to your table I was like, OMG! He's so cute! ^_^ And that was when I was shy. You bring out the best in me. Thanks for all the positive comments on my drawings as well. I think you have really helped me develope my 1337 skills! XDD You are so wonderful and I'm happy to have a friend like you. *hugs forever*

7. You don't always know the exact thing to say. You aren't really on the ball during our conversations. You are perfectly unique in every way, my enlightened pal. And did I mention weird? You insert the kindest tidbits in chats that we have. And we may just think alike. I'm lucky to have a friend like you. You may be unique, but I am too, and I like you that way. Don't conform. Those mormons...

8. I met you when I hated you. You were so horrible in every way to her. You were defensive at first and I think I helped you through a few hard times... You think it's easier to dismiss people than give them another chance. And though I don't agree with all of your decisions and lifestyle choices, you've helped make me who I am today. I don't think I could have been so strong in certain situations without your help. I am your space monkey. And I like it that way.

9. You are fickle. You are horrible. You are narcissistic in every way. You are sadistic and unkind. But... you weren't always this nasty. I remember you in elementary a little... You were so amazingly beautiful. I remember you in middle school. You were my best friend, though I may have not realized it then. I don't think I could have survived that retched place without you to stand beside me. Your heart can be the prettiest thing in existance when you let it show... I remember sleeping in your bed and how it was so scary. Then I looked at you... and the shadows on the walls no longer looked like demons. When we got to highschool, we remained the closest out of all my original friends. But then something changed. And when we said we would be friends forever and then we said we were eachother's stars and then we said 'I love you', and then something fell appart. Nothing that I said do I take back... Because I still think you are a genuine woman. But you don't think I am and that's why we can't be friends. I bring out the worst in you.

10. You are a special guy. You always know what to say. You make me feel good about myself. I find myself enjoying life when you are near me. You make me smile so often with your sweet little compliments. You love me. And it makes me really happy to hear you say that. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm not quite sure how this whole friendship started... I think it may have been just a random internet convo... But it happened and I feel I could trust you with anything. I love you.

3 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr


dragon-bearer

:: 2005 4 March :: 8.14pm

3/4/05...that's funny...

1 Lost the Rubber Chicken | Grr

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