don't let me hold something so delicate, i'll shatter it with a word


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:: 2005 7 August :: 10.10 pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: rise against - life less frightening

face down in the dirt with your foot on my back
summer is over. back to school tomorrow. kinda nervous.
had some unforgettable times this summer. some were amazing, some werent the best
this year will be really diffrent, but intersting.

that seriously made my day.

our futures burn in red horizons
ashes scattered in winds of change
casualty numbers are rising
now itís time to raise the stakes

3 _ | photograph

:: 2005 5 August :: 1.48 am
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: remy zero - fair

and all my words were bound to fail


a fucking mess.


:: 2005 27 July :: 11.26 pm
:: Mood: shaky
:: Music: a wilhelm scream - brand new me, same shitty you

catch me. i'm a wreck who let my conscience down

what does this mean?

i really dont want to go through your shit again.
i dont know.

it's been breathing fucking heavy for a long fucking time now
and it's lost its fucking will to survive.
and what's so sick, so wrong that you don't want to believe
that such a massacre is capable of coming from me?
catch me if you can but don't fall for what you've found.
you don't feel sorrow, but I'm already there, because tonight I've taken nothing but insults
you ignore my resolve while my conscience clings to life.
but i stomped the heart out of it, hoping that it dies.


:: 2005 21 July :: 12.31 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: finch - grey matter

i've surrounded myself with all i have inside

i feel like that bubble with the rain cloud over him in the zoloft commercial.

can smile,
but can barely laugh.

its hard to feel okay anymore.

just worn out.

1 _ | photograph

:: 2005 14 July :: 10.40 pm
:: Mood: sleepy

my size ken doll<3
silly girls<3

fantastic night.


:: 2005 7 July :: 7.56 pm

fourth of july was insane.

fucked up.

but good.


:: 2005 27 June :: 6.19 pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: beck - deadweight

sleep inside a parasites appetite
it all started with this kid on the bus which honestly, his mouth got annoying. came over with his friend one day. deffiantly shy and would stand off. finally he started talking a bit with us. he was a smart ass. turns out me this girl and this boy became fucking super close. we would hang out almost every day. ended up dating him. best boyfriend ever. litterly. just the feeling i had when i was with him was so intense. nothing else mattered in the world. he was my favorite 'pillow'. we had such a connection, it was amazing. the relationship didnt last long..... he moved, grew apart, everything went down the drain....

2 years later he visits....

...look at us now.

i love you.


:: 2005 13 June :: 3.35 pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: afi - this celluloid dream

oh, you're so exquisite

i feel like a little girl, with a silly crush

...and i like it.

just like romantic verses
just like a joyous end
just like a memory
it twists me


:: 2005 2 June :: 11.03 pm
:: Mood: out of it
:: Music: bright eyes - waste of paint

he once cut one of my nightmares out of paper

me and oliva were depressed tonight.
so we crawled into the back of her car,
and a few hits later we felt pretty good.
crazy night at work, i cant even remember it.
i <3 my dunkin donuts/baskin robbins night crew.
they rock.

1 _ | photograph

:: 2005 29 May :: 1.28 am
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: the bravery - honest mistake

sometimes i forget i'm still awake

i understand the fact that we were around you while doing it, but other than that i dont get why you got so upset. i really hope this won't last for long. uoynohsurceguhaevahizucemrofdabot.

the end.


my old friend...
i swear i never meant for this
i never meant...
dont look at me that way
it was an honest mistake
an honest mistake


:: 2005 23 May :: 11.28 pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: gwen stefani - hollaback girl

another one bites the dust

school is o-u-t

welcome summer '05.


tonight was awesome.
this shit is bananas

...summer will eventually end up going down the drain.


:: 2005 7 May :: 10.54 pm
:: Mood: morose
:: Music: lo*pro - sunday

i've had enough of you


why can't i explain the way i feel again
why can't i just stand
instead i crawl again
why does it always feel like sunday
why does it always feel

1 day


:: 2005 20 April :: 9.21 pm
:: Mood: worn out
:: Music: mars volta - the window

freeze without an answer

Happy Birthday Craig<3


:: 2005 6 April :: 8.57 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: the exies - ugly

a sickness so pure
Fuck You.
Fuck My Back.
Fuck People.
Fuck Crushes.

i need a hard drink.

.medicate me.
.so i die happy.

k. bye

3 _ | photograph

:: 2005 2 April :: 10.07 pm
:: Music: the unicorns - jellybones

i woke him up and broke the news
spring break is over. dreading school, and seeing people.

spring break re-cap:

*thursday, crazy kids. *working 24/7. *sleeping in. *easter night. *amish grandma in the hospital. *volleyball tournement. *cops, helicoptors, k9s.* resting.*

nothing too exciting.

now i'm working on sheading a couple pounds. hm, good luck on this one.

i have been in a 'i dont want to see or be around humans' mood lately.

k. i'm done.

photograph | Random Journal