don't let me hold something so delicate, i'll shatter it with a word

 

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:: 2004 11 September :: 11.11 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: hidden in plain view- Jerzey Nonsense

Things change in the worst ways
this morning i woke up around 9:30 with tears in my eyes then i started crying out of nowhere. i had a dream about nick. i miss him like mad fucking crazy.

so today was icky.

**************************

went to the movies with alex tonight. hm, it was nice... for the most part.

photograph


:: 2004 27 August :: 11.13 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: Crusive- the rhyme scheme

the meaning is lost

i think its a little to soon, but whatever.


we'll see how long this one lasts.


***********************


It's not working
I don't feel any better
I don't feel so well
The verbal breakdown has failed


1 _ | photograph


:: 2004 7 August :: 11.40 pm
:: Mood: satisfied

went to a show with bethany and lesley. it was super awesome. i really enjoyed it. thanks.


Of Empires
Norfair
Richard Dryfus
Crayons
Extra Day for Riots<33
Southstar<33
The Perks<33




1 _ | photograph


:: 2004 5 July :: 9.58 pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: the postal service- recycled air

my head's a balloon inflating

incrediable 4th of july weekend.


wow.

out at the beach saturday-monday


2 _ | photograph


:: 2004 1 July :: 9.51 pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: coheed and cambria- an end to a beginning

stay for a memory we'll be alright

wow.




speachless.




too much to take in at once, and so many questions unanswered.




none of this has sank in yet.





please come visit or even move back down here



<\3

photograph


:: 2004 27 June :: 9.53 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: cky- sink into the underground

i know its going to get me again

i'm back.

my vacation in oklahoma was awesome. i didn't want to come home. the weather was really nice up there. it was really pretty at night, and i actually saw the big dipper.


...i kinda sucks to be back in sarasota

photograph


:: 2004 20 June :: 5.31 am
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: phantom planet- california

your shadow weighs a ton

well, i am finally off to oklahoma, after 3 days and nights of nothing but horriable fueding.


i'll be back the 27th

photograph


:: 2004 4 June :: 11.18 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: velvet revolver- slither

Cut the rope, fell to my knees
wow. i actually got out of the house tonight. went to the movies with mandy and saw "the day after tomorrow". it was a good 3 hours.

*hott guys everywhere
*walking into a mexican, then just pushing him
*skate park, getting weird looks
*a strange lady talking to us about jail
*the cute kid in the theater that kept looking back
*awesome movie
*coldstone
*mandys icecream tasted like alcohol
*metting alex :) ..hes russian. woot woot.
*see emery!!<3 (havent seen him since forever.)
*seeing alex<3 (coldstone employee. i'm his princess)
*getting into trouble.... oops. haha.


.....gosh, the first time in like forever i go to the movies with a friend, mandy, and my mom like flips out and starts asking 653245 questions. ugh.... and i also manage to get myself in trouble.


2 _ | photograph


:: 2004 3 June :: 10.41 pm
:: Mood: disgusted.
:: Music: soil- black 7

i am the little cracked mirror


never again.


super uncomfortable and way too awkward.


no.

disgusted.


photograph


:: 2004 29 May :: 8.51 pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: 3rd strike- no light

on the outside looking in no light

today my uncle eli and his family left to go back home to oklahoma. i was supose to go with them, but my father didn't think it was a good idea........roar! ass.

i have been really looking forward to going back up there with them. you have no idea.


oh god. it would have been super awesome to get out of sarasota for the whole month.
whatever......



hm. but i had somewhat fun while they were down. it gave me something to do.




photograph


:: 2004 16 May :: 12.24 am
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: yellowcard- only one

here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
... if you only knew how i truly feel


...you have know idea how greatly i have been effect, damaged, and torn

************************************

eh. my breath has shortened.

i can't stop the tears. they just keep flowing out from my eyes.

whole body is shaking

...you musn't know my secrets, and i musn't let them slip.

photograph


:: 2004 23 April :: 11.50 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: shinedown- fly from the inside

105.9 birthday bash
socialburn and shinedown concert was fucking awesome!

mosh pit. sweaty people. body surfing. getting majorly hurt. handbanging. jumping. pushing people. water and beer splashing everywhere. being molested. socialburn. shinedown. hott bands. it was crazy!

my first concert. brusises. scrapes. lost hair ties. litterly soaked in mine + everyone elses sweat. aching body. <3 it all.

got a hug from dusty price. hott gutiarist from socialburn. got autographs from all but 1 of them on a picture. then got a shinedown shirt and got autograpghs from them.

for once i had a wonderful 3 whole hours.

1 _ | photograph


:: 2004 20 April :: 8.46 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: sugarcult - memory

so get back to the disaster

Happy Birthday Craig<33

*Big Hug*


************************************

happy 4-20

photograph


:: 2004 3 April :: 10.56 pm
:: Mood: super upset
:: Music: big dismal- running through my mind

It’s all been a waste of time
i don't work at coldstone anymore.


i'm too young.... ugh. that is shit.


....it doesn't matter. at least my family can get what they want and be satisfied. they didn't really support me haveing a job.


...i have just lost the one positive thing i had in my life.

just like that.

poof

vanished. gone.

:'(

2 _ | photograph


:: 2004 22 March :: 11.34 pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: edgewater- eyes wired shut

I've thrown away again
...i am grounded.

no t.v
no phone
no computer
no nothing

i'm on fucking lock down

tonight i came home around 7:30 and my parents have been out looking for me. also little things i've done wrong added up making my father get red faced and literally explode on me.

scary shit.

i can't seem to keep myself out of trouble






...we aren't in this together. i am in this by myself.

photograph

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