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How Strange, Innocence

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:: 2007 18 September :: 10.57 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

I really hate my brain these days. It comes up with stupid things for me to think about and miss some things and it really sucks.

first breath after coma

:: 2007 15 September :: 11.17 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Sufjan Stevens - Christmas in July

I am really enjoying the colder weather. It feels so much better than the heat and I like breaking out the cold weather clothing, since I have so much of it. There is actually a frost advisory for tonight, crazy. ND lost again, but I'm sticking by my team no matter what. Classes are going pretty good, a lot of work, but I like the challenge more than I did at Aquinas.
I went to the movies with my brother and his friend tonight, to get my mind off the loss. I felt like dressing up a bit, so I did. So I'm standing out front in the cold air finishing off the end of my cigar, while I'm standing there in a zip up sweater covering my shirt and tie with my dress pants and shoes, and I chuckle to myself because I probably looked like something out of the 50's, not out of 2007. So we saw 3:10 to Yuma, which was pretty good. So we drive home and i decide to have another smoke before I go in, and my mum was making hot toddys, which was pretty damn awesome if you ask me. I probably drink too much, but I don't do it so often, so its okay, and I rarely ever get a buzz at all drinking at home, so that's good. So now I'm sitting here writing and listening to Sinatra and Dino, its a good night. Last night my brother tells me as we're going to get Wendy's at midnight that I'm dumb for not wanting to date, to which I laugh at hime and tell him that he's naive. In some way, I want to date, but then I think my brain kicks in and is like, "you dumbass". I don't know, I don't really care, so that's probably not helpful in that area, but I really don't. My mum is always like "you just haven't found the right girl yet", but I really don't care. To an extent, I wouldn't mind, but I don't want to go out of my way for this shit. This is probably me being tired, but oh well, not a whole lot of people read this anyway.

first breath after coma

:: 2007 13 September :: 12.04 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Relient K - Bite My Tongue

I kind of am getting used to being home.
Its so weird to me though, you think when you leave, everything will be the same when you get back, but its not and its the hardest thing to get used to. All of the relationships with my friends from high school are right where I left them, there is no change in them, which is probably a testament to my friends. That's probably the best part about being home. Its the guys I grew up with in high school. I think I was ready to type more about this, but I'm dead tired and I need some sleep because I need to get some major work done tomorrow for class. On that note, I'm really liking Oakland.

first breath after coma

:: 2007 23 August :: 10.38 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Jude - King Of Yesterday

My back is actually killing me from work this week, I don't know what it is. Oh well, one day left til the weekend and paycheck tomorrow. Then paycheck is going straight toward the new laptop, I'll probably order it next week. My old laptop pretty much lit on fire internally and shot smoke all over the place and burned my leg. Still not really ready to go back to class, I don't really want to, but I don't really want to work all the time either, so its either classes or work, classes are easier, and there are girls in classes, and I'm alone with machines at work, so its not such a hard choice. Except work pays me, and girls are pretty much there just to look at, at least for me, I don't care too much.

first breath after coma

:: 2007 20 August :: 10.06 pm

"She started jitterbugging with me-but just very nice and easy, not corny. She was really good. All you had to do was touch her. And when you turned her around, her pretty little butt twitched so nice and all. She knocked me out. I mean it. I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls, Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

"Look," I said. "Here's my idea. How would you like to get the hell out of here? Here's my idea. I know a guy in Greenwhich Village that we can borrow his car for a couple weeks. He used to go the same school I did and he still owes me ten bucks. What we could do is, tomorrow morning we could drive all the way up to Massachusetts and Vermont, and all around there, see. It's beautiful as hell up there. It really is." I was getting excited as hell, the more I thought about it, and I sort of reached over and told old Sally's goddamn hand. What a goddamn fool I was. "No kidding," I said, "I have about a hundread and eighty bucks in the bank. I can take it out when it opens in the morning, and then we can go down and get this guy's car. No kidding. We'll stay in these cabin camps adn stuff like that till the dough runs out, I could get a job somewhere and we could live somewhere with a brook and all, and later on, we could get married or something. I could chop all our own wood in the wintertime and all. Honest to God, we could have a terrific time! Wuddaya say? C'mon! Wuddaya say? Will you do it with me? Please?"

Jesus Christ, sometimes I swear to God I'm Holden Caulfield, its weird. I think its because I think too damn much, but somethings got to get me through work.

first breath after coma

:: 2007 14 August :: 5.05 am
:: Mood: sore

I am beyond tired at this point, I've had three hours of sleep and I have to work 10 hours today. I feel like I did most of the time throughout high school, since I rarely got enough sleep and waking up sore, but like the sore you went to sleep with. Not my favorite feeling in the world.

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