home | profile | guestbook


How Strange, Innocence

recent entries | past entries


angel_bob

:: 2009 23 July :: 10.18am

Still not a life update
Went to the bank today.

The kid who helped me out was named Bruce Wayne.

I totally asked him if it was his real name. And if he got beat up as a kid.

He said with a name like that, he beat up the other kids.

3 breaths | first breath after coma


angel_bob

:: 2009 19 July :: 1.24am

Things that are funny
When people yell at you ON THE INTERNET for saying things to/about them ON THE INTERNET and are upset that you did not say these things to them in person, only to then insist that it is your responsibility to contact them and apologize. Like it's your problem.

I'm sorry, kids. You are way overdue for a life update.

I'll get back to you on that.

3 breaths | first breath after coma


angel_bob

:: 2009 4 June :: 8.10pm

Okay, kids.

I have a question/request.

My deodorant just isn't cutting it anymore.

Apparently I sweat when I'm hot now? This never used to happen. I am obviously out of my element.

So what do you guys use? Guys meaning GIRLS. Because I tried using Nick's and it doesn't work. Unless you have asexual deodorant.

12 breaths | first breath after coma


angel_bob

:: 2009 30 May :: 11.57pm

so.

At NewJob this week, we actually had to do some work. We had to call up hotels and supply them with credit card info for some guests. The reasoning is really boring and lame. Of course, we got assigned hotels that speak our language.

Ug ug.

So I call up a hotel and the guy has no idea what I'm getting at. He cannot understand my French. (It was pretty terrible. My first call, haven't spoken French in ages, super nervous etc.) Anyway, he can't find the reservation and puts me on hold for long enough that I begin to think he's trying to get rid of me. He comes back finally and I tell him I have the reservation number if he wants to look it up by that. Sure, he says, let's try that.

I read the number (which of course has to be nine numbers long, three sets of three. It can't just be three numbers.) and he repeats it back to me. "Cent vingt neuf. Trois cent quarante cinq..." He can't understand quarante of all numbers. Okay, "un deux neuf. Trois quatre cinq." He's with me so far. Thank goodness. This isn't that bad after all! "Un six neuf." He repeats it back to me: "un huit neuf."

Oh no. Please don't do this to me. I know my French sucks but SIX (6) sounds nothing like HUIT (8).

Kids, six sounds like "cease." It is nowhere near huit which sounds like "wheat". It had to have been a phone problem because I was clearly saying CEASE. NOT WHEAT.

"Pas huit...six."

"Huit."

"Six."

"Huit. Un huit neuf."

"SIX! SIX!"

"Huit."

Sure whatever. Huit. I don't care anymore. He's never going to find the person anyway.

So he can't find the reservation and finally we both give up. He says he found it and has the credit card number and I can't/don't want to fight with him.

I au revoir him and move on.

Next guy I call up can't understand me either. He switches to English. And I'm all, whatever, I love English. It's my native language. So I get it done in English and call the next one.

Who also switches to English.

Then I call the next one. Who ends up getting upset that I said his fax machine wasn't working. I am sorry but it wasn't. He also switches to English but doesn't speak good English so we're doing a half and half thing and he calms down. He flirts with me and invites me to Corsica because the weather is wonderful. Everything ends up going well and he finds everything and I'm done. I remember to get his name: Philippe.

The moral of the story: my French is terrible.

Then last week, I end up fighting with Hope girl because I hate French people and French and she's all why'd you apply for the job then and I'm all for the thousandth time, they found me. And it turns out she's dating a French guy and gets all defensive and it's awful. Oh and she's one of those uptight controlling people. And I'm the exact opposite. You know me, I'm completely chill. It's not going to kill me so I don't care.


Anyway things are crazy. I wouldn't be able to survive it if my class and my trainers weren't so awesome.
Read more..

3 breaths | first breath after coma


angel_bob

:: 2009 28 May :: 11.17pm

oh to the em gee
This work week has been hilarious.

More details tomorrow. I should be in bed.

2 breaths | first breath after coma


angel_bob

:: 2009 16 May :: 7.35pm

Okay.

First week of NewJob went okay. It actually was a whole lot better by week's end. I am going to have to get over this not liking to speak French thing since that's my job now. Sigh etc.

I have a stupid NewJob story that happened on Wednesday and I wrote on Wednesday:

Today [Wednesday], we had a trainer come in and teach us Google Earth [which I TOTALLY already know and used when it first came out]. Before we started, he went around the room and asked our names and for us to say something in our language. He was French African.

Please tell me you are feeling the same thing I was: DREAD. PANIC. DREAD.

So we go around the room and everyone is saying five bajillion sentences and the other two French people have great accents and each have two paragraphs prepared already.

So he gets to me and all I can think to say is "ta mère est un pamplemousse." I can't call his mother a grapefruit! Who knows what connotation that has! I am probably calling her a whore or something.

What do I do? What do I do? OH! MAKE A JOKE! People love jokes! They will be so busy laughing that they won't notice that you say "Bone-jewurrr y'all"! Make a joke, Rachel.

Do I say my name in French or English? What did the Hope girl say? KAH-Rhen? Okay, so French.

"Je m'appelle Rachelle et je ne parle pas français."

Everyone is staring at me. Why are they staring? Did I miss an article? "Parlez-vous anglais?" No. No article needed. I said the "ne" but they can forgive that, I was nervous, I had to prepare a simple sentence. THIS IS A JOKE. I just said "I don't speak French" in French! Ha ha. Laugh already. No one is laughing. Okay.

"Ceci n'est pas une pipe...?"

Did they get it? Okay. He got it. And I got a little laugh. Ugh. Do these people have no sense of humor? Hope girl is staring at me. I'm not even looking at British guy. Heaven forbid he judge me. He's British. We left them for a reason. And Hope girl liked France. Screw them.

Reasoning doesn't stop the embarrassment. I can feel myself turning red. I am warm, it's warm in here. Ugh. I am a retard. Why did I think this job would be okay? I can no longer get away with the fact that I don't speak French.

I told them up front. I told them it was terrible! It's not my fault!

During break, I am furiously checking the internet as I have chosen sleep over Google Reader for the past week and have 97 unread items. I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN AND NOT WELCOMING CONTACT.

Hope girl turns around. TURN BACK AROUND, GIRL. DO NOT WANT YOUR HUMORLESS FACE LOOKING AT ME. AM ON THE INTERNETS.

"Bonjour, Rachelle."

Cut her off, cut her off! There's no way I'm speaking French to her and letting her judge me. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate France! I hate French! I just told you I don't speak French.

"Oh, no. I cannot think to speak French today." Still staring at my 97 Google Reader items. Must label all interesting things.

"Oh. I was just... I was wondering why you said you didn't speak French."

I looked over at her. Oh, God. She is looking at me with pity and concern. Cut it off quick! No friends! No pity! No French!

"It was A JOKE."

"Oh." She turns back around quickly. The conversation is over.

Was I just a bitch to her? I think I was just a bitch. Whatever. She's not talking to me.

Ugh. Why don't these people get jokes?

At least they are all nice.

3 breaths | first breath after coma

Woohu.com | Random Journal