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:: 2006 2 February :: 9.00 pm

i got my swirl dress. its perfect. a little tight (VERY corset-ish) but hell i dont care. it looks really good and its sooo pretty. i figure its my senior year, so as long as i look good and have fun i dont care the price. im so excited for swirl now. we're sticking with the theme.. my dress is yellow and perfect, and keegans going royal blue. and we're going just the two of us which will be nice. i love my girlfriends, but im really looking forward to sharing a special night with my best friend.

yearbook: good lord. what the fuck ever, thats all i have to say. im looking forward to taryn transfering into the class, finally we can have some one who can actually write and who'll get her work done. someone RESPONSIBLE. but i shouldnt get into that topic... i've ranted enough in the past few days.

ani difranco is really becomming spiritually reviving for me. her lyrics speak to me on so many levels.

keegans at his last practice before the rampage tomorrow. im SO excited! ahh!!! AND not only do i get to see them perform and be all cool and be like THATS MY BOYFRIEND to the 8,000 people around me (i love bragging about you!) but i'll be with bobby. i've missed him so much. im going over to bobbys tomorrow around 4:30 so we can hang out before the game. i think thats so cool.. that i can hang out with keegans friends with out him... its because they're my friends too and we LOVE eachother!!! me and his friends that is... laughs*

RAMPAGE!!!! i cant wait.... grrrr. im wearing keegans 61syx shirt and a rampage hat tomorrow to the game... so i can be like.. yeah im with the crew.. giggles* awwww im cute.

im tired.. but im waiting for the office to be on. i love that show.

alright... well that was a pointless entry.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2006 17 January :: 11.40 am

damn ice. im greatful school was canceled... but if it would have been snowing i would have checked the weather BEFORE i got ready (well ready as in washed my face and brushed my teeth.... but STILL awake enough to be angry about getting up) this is ridiculous. middle of winter and it rains. psh.

i was watching the news this morning....

"a chocolate new orleans?" are you kidding me! why is it that racism starts at the top of the chain?! pathetic.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2006 15 January :: 10.20 pm

i LOVE every other saturday...... they're always perfect. ALWAYS, and yesterday was no exception. i say everyother saturday because i dont work every other saturday and keegan never works saturdays.. so we get to be together all day long.

we're both semi broke right now.. so for most the day we just lounged around his house. i got teh 8th season of friends, his mom made one of my favorite dinners (tatertot caserole) and it was just nice to be home all day. then we met stacy, dani, dustin, devin, and brandi downtown and saw that pink floyd laser show at the planetarium (sp). which was most deffinately an acid trip... lol. i dont think you get the full effect if you're not stoned.... which heaven knows we werent... laughs* but it was pretty cool. WAY to much stimulation for the eyes though. ouuuch. after that me and keegan went to oasis which was wonderful. we got there around 12 and had the greek room reserved which i've been wanting to see since prom last year. it was amazing. (keegan popped his OTHER shoulder out of joint a few days ago.. so its been pretty sore.. hense us going to oasis and me having an "excuse" to get a new bathing suit.... giggles) but yeah... it was awesome. i thought it was an indoor room, but we walked in and theres murals all over the walls and a fire place and statues.... but no ceiling. it was just beautiful. the perfect end to the perfect night. then we went home and fell asleep and got up this morning to go to a new church. we're looking for a church. we went to Sparta babtist this morning... which was nice, but we wanna try a bunch of different ones.. so if you have an suggestions... comment. we're looking for a contemporary service with contemp. music. and we're not looking to become involved with a youth group... just sundays.

everything just feels so right. not only are we going on 14 strong months.. but we're still so incredibly happy. never have we almost "broke up", because we're mature enough to handle our arguments. i've never felt this way before. EVER. i thought i did once... i though THAT was love... and i couldnt have been more wrong. now, i find myself falling in love with my best friend... and although its a process that may take anywhere from a month to a couple years to fully develop... im looking so forward to that moment that i've been dreaming of my whole life.. where i can look that ONE person in the eyes express that age old 3 letter phrase that people have been saying since the dawn of time.

we're so on track with eachother. and i think its awesome that we're growing spiritually together.

*smiles* i admire you!

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2006 13 January :: 8.58 am

ok, so yesterday i was furious.
but i realize that it wasnt about talent....

and at least becky and i gave a piece of our minds and got to see the large animal turn red in the face and squirm like the pathetic lowly person she is.

AND i schedualed a facial yesterday... and after that, who could be upset?!

my skin feels so rejuvinated. everybody should experience one!

orgasmic... really.

*giggles.... later kids

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2006 10 January :: 9.43 pm

i tried out today. i reallly want wendy. sooo incredibly bad. but i guess we'll see what happens.

talk about one hell of a night... and nobody could EVER know what i mean by that.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2006 6 January :: 9.14 am

i just about have the best most wonderfulest boyfriend in the entire world.

everyday he amazes me in a whole new way.

last night my sister was sick. (she's 5) and if you know me at all... im the same as my mom. we dont take to well to.... errmmm.. you know ( i dont even like to say it) i remember this because it was the same way when i was growing up. call it weak stomachs i guess...... but keegan stayed at our house last night and helped take care of shelby.

everytime she had to get sick he stood behind her stroking her little back and telling her that it would all be ok. then he cleaned her little face off and talked to her about random things to get her mind off it. just watching how good he is with her makes me want to melt. he could have just left, no one asked him to stay... but he cares about her so much that he wanted to help.. and he wanted to help my mom.

how many guys would do that? i really did get a good one and will by no means let him go.

and waking up this morning was so much nicer knowing i had someone by my side.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2006 1 January :: 9.19 pm

so i think i've decided that im gonna go on doing pageants. i think i have the right kind of personality, and if you do those things right the scholarships you get are amazing. i could PAY my way through college and be making a difference at the same time. if i really set my mind to it... i dont think i'll win all of them.. but i definatly think i could get down to the last 10 or so... and either way.. i know from experience that the pageant process itself is an amazing experience. plus i have a pretty impressive resume for one. i decided this while i took a bath tonight.... honestly.. a candle lit bubble bath is where you come up with and figure out the BEST things. plus my mom has a skylight.. and nothing is more relazing than listening to a gentle rain.

im scared about high school ending.. ANXIOUS but scared.... and for the first time in my life i have a plan. its so reassuring to know where i want to go with my life. and if i change my mind about this whole interior design thing.... at least i'll have a great side hobby to fall back on later in life! we went to schulers today and i found this book that was just amazing. it was 40 dollars.. but covered every (well im sure not EVERY) aspect of interior design.. even down to tips on creating your sample board. i think im gonna get it tomorrow. and when im done with this entry im gonna look at different colleges and their design programs.

its just so exciting to have an outline for my life. i've never had that before. i've never been sure about something so HUGE. im extremely indecisive. VENDING machines are a hassel for me! wayyy to many options! so when it comes to my life, and where im going to be in the future... you cant even imagine how confused i get. i havent ever delt with the whole "future" issue before. i just kind of made it through school.. and here i find myself at the end, and i was about ready to break. what kind of 17 year old doesnt have a career picked out? well i'll tell ya from experience.... a very normal one! i now know that im just lucky that i've chosen a career... because you cant just do that overnight. i dont think we should be rushed into deciding the rest of our lives! and i was feeling really down because i thought EVERY one had it figured out except for me. that is NOT the case. design is a passion that i've been practicing for years... and i didnt even know it! my room has always been a haven for me.. and a reflexion of my style. when we lived with brandi i was going crazy because i didnt have a space of my own. it sucked! i need that one place that just screams ME everywhere ya know? i'm very big on personal style.. and even though yes, i do wear abercrombie sometimes... i like to think i have my own style. its the little things that make me unique. i just love fasion and i think you're home should be a reflexion of everything that makes you feel like YOU. ughh.. im just SO excited!

*smiles really big......

with all these "plans" or whatever.. i've realized that in order to stay confident and focused i HAVE to get in shape. im not toooo far from it.. but far enough. i need to have alot of energy. i have a good head on my shoulders... and like i said in my last entry... i dont have any type of negative thing affecting me. that means i have no excuse not to suceed. i just have stay in shape and be on my toes. i am SO ready to embrace life. i wasnt put here to sit in cedar springs the rest of my life. and yeah.. everyone "hates" Cedar and wants to get out... but ya know what.. this is my home. and has always been my home. even though i know that there are bigger things out there... i know that in littler nowheresville michigan.. theres a small town that holds all my memories and the foundation for the rest of my life! i dont think you're SUPPOSED to want to stay in your hometown for the rest of your life! and lets face it... Cedar Springs is all over the united states. there are towns just like ours in every single 20 mile radius of every state... just a few different variations.. and some BIG cities like new york. dont be naive and think that this is the only small "hick" town around! this is our starting place.... not ending! be thankful for that! whether you want to admit it or not... this town has helped make us who we are. if we lived in LA we'd all have much different ambitions.

im just so content with my life right now.... and its so wonderful to feel this good!

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 22 December :: 12.58 am

this is now friends only.

8 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 18 December :: 9.13 pm

yesterday was the battle in detroit.

i must say it started out rough.. very rough. rough as in i said maybe 10 words the entire way there... thats 3 hours of 10 words people. no no no.. 3 hours of 10 words approximately 20 thousand break dance beats and lingo between 3 dance junkys that would be enough to drive any sane person to stab 3 forks and a spoon into their eye.

we got there 2 hours early. 6 to be exact.

the bboying was sposed to start at 8, NOTHING started (except for the cyphers) until 9:30 and 61syx didnt battle until 11:30. now tell me, how much fun would a breakdancers GIRLFRIEND have for 5 hours surrounded by a zillion talented dancers in a hispanic youth center? tons actually....! once we got there and started driving around detroit it was just really exciting (i had never been there before) we went to this burger king and all the workers were black and they were just so funny. just like the ann arbor battle.. im amazed at the way people can move their bodies. i had no idea how INSANE breakdancing can be. i've seen clips on keegans computer of other crews.. but when you actually SEE them... hooooolly wow.

61syx took prolly 8th out of 16 which is pretty good for a crew thats only been together for a year.. versus Chicago Tribe whos been together for 6. (they won by the way)

it was just incredible... very cool INDEED. but yeah.. so we didnt leave until about 1.. got lost trying to find the CORRECT high way, seems how there's 80 of them (ish).

but above all i love curling up and falling asleep after a long day with the person who just 'gets' me most.....and then waking up and eating chilli... lol. gotta love keegans mom.

yesterday before the battle we went to a distribution center in grand rapids for toys for tots (we being me, my beloved red flannel girls, emily secor, shannon potter, and keegan) and helped familys pick out toys for their children. we did this last year for red flannel, and loved it so much that we just HAD to go back this year. its the absolute best experience we had last year, and now we have another incredible memory. its such an eye opening experience. you meet all these people who are just so blessed to have an organization to help them out. all day i was waiting for that ONE person that would teach me the biggest lesson, that i would remember most. and finally i found her. she was middle age woman, very well kept and so incredibly nice. and when i greeted her she told me that this was her first time so she would be so happy if i walked her through it and helped her out (which we do for all the people anyway) when i told her that she could pick 3 toys per child and a stocking stuffer she was in disbelief and kept saying how wonderful it was. immediatly i noticed this incredible energy to her. when we got to the teenage table i told her that she could pick one toy because we had a shortage when it got to that agegroup and told her that that's one thing we want to change next year. she replied with "oh its fine. and SOO greatfully received, truely it is. this is such a blessing" a little bit later she told me that her girls (4 of them) lost everything in a housefire. all their christmas gifts, possesions.. everything.. and then proceeded to tell me that it was their father who set the house on fire. with everything that this woman had been through, she still found the courage to be strong and ask for help when her family needed it the most. i didnt want her to leave.. i just wanted to continue talking to her and feed off her high energy. it was so wonderful.

it just makes a person realize that you never know when you're going to need help from your community. thats what we're here for. to help eachother out. this woman made the comment that "god willing, next year it will ME thats helping other people in situations like mine out" and i couldnt have said it better myself. as community members we all need to step it up to help others in need.. and no im not just trying to be corny or whatever else you might call me... but if you dont believe how much you can truely do for your community even by donating an hour of your time to talk to people who just need someone to listen.. then please contact a distribution center for next year and see for yourself how great a need even just OUR community and surrounding communitys are for added help. you never know when it could be YOU thats asking for help.

above all, toys for tots finally got me locked into the christmas spirit. i just feel like making christmas cookies and going caroling! lol.. and ACTUALLY.. i was talking to linds a bit ago and we'd really like to go with a nice sized group. so if anyone is interested leave me a comment and perhaps we can set something up for this week.

i hope everyone has a great break and a great christmas.

STAY SAFE on the roads!

*winks... later kids.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 16 December :: 11.56 am

ugh.. i can NOT believe we have a snow day today.

last night i filled out 70 fucking christmas cards for staff appreciation (student senate committe) and now what.. i give them to them AFTER christmas? not to mention i bought a whole bunch of food to put in the staff lounge... now its just sitting in my kitchen. BAH...

and i was really looking forward to drama. i made peanut butter balls last night and everything. GAH.

oh.. and i better say goodbye to saturdays. thursdays are gone. but hey "its only for 4 months" yeah the rest of my senior year.. GOOD thing it wont be focused on me. fuck that.


6 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 13 December :: 10.25 pm

i just registered for my ACTs after my mom came in my room and fucking attacked me.

she walks in and says "you need to see your guidance officer or something" i turn and look at her like what the fuck.. and she starts going off about college and how its not her responsibility to line it up for me and in that same five minutes it some how spirialed to if i dont go to college i cant live here and blah blah blah.

you dont just COME into my room and tell me that i need to see a counselor and expect me not to get pissed off. i had no idea what the fuck she was talking about until she started in on her rant.

if its SO important to her then why is this the first time i've heard of it? and it was totally out of the blue.. completely random.

of COURSE im going to college.. but im going to CC... i havent been terribly worried that they wont let me in. i mean for the love of god woman...

so in retaliation i filled in all that un-needed information for like an hour and woke her up to get her credit card number. TAKE THAT! HA! laughs* whatever.

im so sick of all this "realization" stuff that its almost over. i dont care about anything except that its DONE. college will come when it comes... which i've ALWAYS been planning will be the very next year dear mother.... and life will follow shortly after.

im ready for bigger better things... away from everything here that has ever givin me limitations.

and on a second thought.... im about to go loco on the entire yearbook class. granted.. its a select few that make it miserable.. well.. not miserable because yearbook is pretty much the best thing ever.... more like irritating and stressful. FUCK YOU stupid people! YEAH..... i love my bitches. (stacy, jess and jess) well..i love alison too.. but she's to sweet to be refered to as my bitch! not that they're MY bitches.... but they know what i mean.

night dolls.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 11 December :: 10.29 pm

wow... some girls are just sad.

jess and stacy... i love you!

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 7 December :: 10.51 pm

stacy... reading that, i think made my heart stop beating. i dont remember breathing for a couple of minutes and my eyes welled up... which they hardly do. i miss you guys being "you guys" so much. and i'll support you in whatever decision you make. just know that you wont have to stand on your own and i love you sooo much!


2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 7 December :: 8.46 am

sometimes you drive me crazy. this morning was perfect until you started feeling sorry for yourself. and as much as i want to just slap you and be like "QUIT WITH THE SELF PITY" i cant because i hate to see you upset. you have alot of stress this month... and sometimes i make it worse. i apologize for that. you know i've got your back though... as stupid and cliche as that sounds.. thats what we do. we catch each other when we fall... i know there are times i wouldnt beable to stand on my own without your support. and i pray to god that i make you feel the same.

i dont know whats wrong with me lately. i've been really depressive(ish) barely anything sets me into it... and hardly nothing gets me out of it. i dont understand. winter is supposed to be overwhelming in its beauty... and all i can concentrate on is how cold it is. how i lost my 4 dollar gloves, or how i'm ruining my "winter" boots by wearing them out in the snow. its hard enough that i can wear my heels in the snow.

and with the whole heels thing. i feel at times that i've become just that. the girl who wears heels everyday. i know it sounds stupid. but i also know that poeple have probably said amongst themselves something along the lines of "why does she wear those everyday" and no i dont care, but then again i guess i do. in a way i hide my insecurities in wearing them. i used to be really self concious about how i walked. now im not anymore. yeah.. im just gonna stop.. whatever.

i just hate school. and a part of me thinks that its just because of algebra. i dont mind any of my classes except that one.. first hour. so i have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning... which yeilds all my absences. the only reason i took that class was because one of my stupid math teachers told me that if i didnt i'd HAVE to take it in college and they would make me pay for it but it wouldnt count towards my credits. well its a good thing that's not true.. ESP after im in a class that im failing. it doesnt help that i have babbit. like im really gonna go home and do algebra for an hour. i hate the subject, im not gonna use it later in life, and its making me miserable. yeah.. i could suck it up and try harder and all that jazz.. but im a senior. i just want to get out of here. sorry if im not to concerened with one stupid grade. BUT this one stupid grade is gonna bring down my GPA. thats just GREAT.

i went christmas shopping yesterday... hoping to get it finished, far from that. which further put me in a bad mood. and what do i do when im in a bad mood? i take it out on whoever happens to be around me at that time.... sorry again doll.

i just go through phases where i hate existance.

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 5 December :: 8.46 am

why does it have to be freezing in this school.

our stupid seminar thing is today... im just shooting to remember my monologue and get it over with. nobody wants to do it... nobody is going to be receptive of what we're trying to say. as far as im concerned its just a waste of our time. like its really gonna make people in OUR high school stop and think. everyones got their eyes closed to tight to see whats in front of them.. so who are we to tell them what to change.

saturday was the battle in ann arbor, it was pretty cool. i cant believe how good some people are. i mean... around here keegans crew is one of the only breakdancing crews around.. then you down to an organized thing where there are people from all over the state and you realize that break dancing is more than just a past time.. its an entire community of dedicated dancers. it really is more of an art than dancing. when they move their bodies command your attention. none of this hip hop shit that we see in our school.. i mean genuine dancing. it really makes me respect all the people who can actually DO it.. ESPECIALLY the Bgirls.

after we left the U of M... (it was in their rec center) we brought micah back to eastern and went up and saw his dorm for a little bit. i could NEVER live in a dorm. lets just leave it at that! i miss micah... and i reallllllly miss micah and keegan together. its like the shawn without the cory ya know?

hopefully i can get all my christmas shopping done this week or the next. i get paid today... but i know it wont be much. shiiiiiiiiit.

well.. i suppose i should get to doing something productive.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 1 December :: 7.28 pm

Senior Pictures.
the pictures are showing up now

out of the 150 some proofs we got back, these are the ones we ordered. soooo... tell me which ones are your favorite.... ACTUALLY tell me which one you want a wallet of (if you're worthy) *giggles... im kidding. but really though.... telll meeee.

Read more..

9 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 30 November :: 9.16 am

this weekend i had the most exhilerating experience. i went to keegans and he worked me really good. my WHOLE body was like spinning. It was great. I finally understand what hard work it is. i mean, i was sweating, breathing hard, and it even a hurt a little bit. they always say that it does. that its not as easy as some may think. keegan stressed that it's all in the form and positions... and you absolutely HAVE to throw your hips into it or it just doesnt work. im so sore today in all the right places...................................................

because we were BREAK DANCING. mwah ha ha. yeah, picture that. little teeny tiny me "breakin it down". *giggles. it was really fun though. you dirty minded fools. pshhh.

break was pretty good... i hate school. i hate being here. i honestly wouldnt mind it as much if it didnt start so early. waking up at 6 is the hardest thing for me to do.... gahh..

i got most all my christmas shopping down this week. noo.. not on black friday, that could have killed me.... did you see that footage of people getting trampled! geeeesh. i got keegan all taken care of which is a HUGE chunk of my shopping. at the end of the holiday season... i'll probably be about 500 dollars in the hole.. and thats only including my mom, keegan, little sister, and brandi. yikes... its a good think i dont have bills to pay.

i feel like scrubbing it the whole rest of the year... yeah... sounds like a plan....

OOOHH.. we ordered my senior pictures yesterday. im so excited to get them back. my mom ordered a ginourmous one too. 16x20 i think it was..... woot hoot!

oook, im pretty sure thats my life so far..

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 27 November :: 1.04 pm

i know have a dozen roses hanging from every corner of my room. not to mention the 6 dried roses in different parts of my room and a vase full or dried rose buds from Scrooge last year. im so spoiled :)

yesterday was rough.... but then it wasnt. and we went to our restraunt (terriyaki and sushi) (btw, im not in the mood to correct my spelling errors) and everything was fine. the servers in there dont even give us menus anymore and automatically bring us 2 waters and big bowls of soup before we even order. *smiles.....

next saturday im going to ann arbor with keegans crew for a battle down there. hopefully it'll be exciting.. im sure it will.

AND we're getting a christmas tree next weekend from one of those old fashion horse hitched amish tree farms.... so we'll have our own christmas tree at his house in the same spot we exchanged gifts last year. the basement next to the couch where we shared our first kiss.

this will be a GREAT holiday season.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 25 November :: 2.49 pm

the first year has come and gone... and couldnt have been any more beautifull than it was. you make it beautifull... well actually... together we made it beautifull.

yesterday was perfect. lots of food, family, and togetherness. exactly how it should have been. :)

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 22 November :: 9.35 am

on a side note... can we say irresponsible.

*rolls eyes... moron.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 22 November :: 8.58 am

ok... in case anybody was NOT aware.. which im assuming most are not... the Holly Hop this year is a semi formal dance just like swirl or homecomming and is on saturday december 17th. yes ladies.. this means pretty dresses. ok, now im getting fairly frustrated.... and just for your further reference it is the freshmen that are planning this dance. if you knew about the dance prior to this entry please comment and tell me how you found out.... im trying to see how many people have actually HEARD hazels "announcements" because i havent... and he cant get it through his head that nobody is aware of when or what the dance is. most people only know of it through "rumors" or from me. so yeah... please comment on this issue.. EVERYONE... PLEASE.. because im very displeased with the planning of this event.

in other news.... *ponders if displeased is even a word* things have been going fairly smoothly. (in all aspects)

thursday is mine and keegans first year.... thats what we've decided to call it. why limit ourselves to "one" when we can say it's the first. its on thanksgiving.. so the day will be filled with family, food, and lots of US time. i think it works out nicely because we REALLY have something to be thankfull for. :)

GUESS what.... keegans dance crew (61syx technique) just got hired by the GR Rampage to dance at all their home games. its a paid contract deal and they're getting sponsered by a gym... they'll get jerseys with their BBoy names on em, 2 free tickets each to all the games and lots of publicity. im so excited for them! there's 5 of them... which just goes to show how good they are.. to get such an amazing opportunity... not to mention all the money they'll be making. *smiles....... as if enough people dont recognize keegan wherever we go... the guy told them that about 9 thousand people come to each game.. and there's 8 home game games.... say about 72 thousand people... yeah.. i'd say this is their big break! im so proud......

i'm VERY MUCH looking foward to sleeping in everyday of break. i have to work every day but thursday though.... aww well. i think friday im gonna get up really early and go shopping. i'd like to get a video camera for my mom for christmas.. figure that'd be the best day to get a good deal on one.

so yeah... i think that about covers it..

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 19 November :: 10.06 am

the play is going really well.

and if anyone ever goes to eat at the IHOP on the beltline i will personally kick your ass for being stupid. im sure ashley will too. that place can burn....

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 17 November :: 8.55 am

yesterday was the first snowfall of the season... which marks the day keegan asked me to be his girlfriend.... it may not be the technical date... but its the symbolic day. I can't wait till the 24th when we can finally wear our rings engraved "the first year". just a symbol of our relationship.. not promise rings, just a symbol.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 2 November :: 9.30 am

its been a semi-long while.

halloween was just a normal day for us. we figured we're to old to go trick or treating, and we didnt have my sister so its not like we had any reason to go. instead we went to the outback, and had one of those perfect nights that we have so often. PLUS we got some new games from toys R us.... and that was wonderful.

i havent really been up to much lately. just work, wizard, and keegan. oh and throw failing algebra in there too. but its all good..

i think im begining to slip away from woohu.... i dont really have much to update anymore. it seems so much easier to update when im depressed and upset, like i take the good times and the good days for granted. i dont know... maybe its time people actually had to start getting to know me instead of reading about me in my journal.

yeah.. that sounds like a good idea.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 21 October :: 1.53 pm

i love when nobodys home and i can just relax and take a shower and not worry about whats going on outside my house.

im going to the game and dance tonight with the girls.. then afterwards i think we're gonna watch both ring movies cuz brandis never seen them. im preparing myself for the nightmares.... in case you dont know.. i DONT watch scary movies. these are single 2 scary movies i think i've ever seen. and YES they're scary! lol... maybe other people didnt think so, but to me there are dead people and mirrors... *shivers...

tomorrow is my keegan day. he has to work a double at logans today... mmmm, but its ok. i kind of wish he was comming to the game with me since its the last one... but he's got a car payment due next week, so i understand.. he's so cool. i love that. :)

well.. i guess i dont have much of anything to say. see ya'll at the game i spose.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 18 October :: 9.11 pm

Erika, hey it's Keegan.

Just wanted to say hi, and that I care about you. and that I love it when we resolve our arguments. no matter how long it takes or how hard it is.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 16 October :: 2.24 pm
:: Music: Ani DiFranco

what a depressing day. as much as i want to get up and wash my face.. i just lay here in a dark room wishing i was everything that right now im lacking so bad.

my car is getting to me, i dont have a ride to work tonight. i dont know when im gonna have something to drive... my mom is bending over backwards to make it easier for me, but for godsake i've had my licene for over a year now, she shouldnt have to stress out so i can drive her car for a day... if only i was just in walking distance.

for about 20 minutes i was gonna stay home, brandi was gonna cover for me, and i was gonna pick up her wednesday... but then i realized that i would rather go to work depressed and upset and beable to see him on wednesday. but thats just me, thats just a sacrifice that i'm willing to make so we can spend time together. whatever.

i just want it to be winter so i can come home and bundle up and drink hot chocolate and chai and not feel guilty about NOT being outside on a beautiful day.

i've been thinking about college alot lately. i dont know what im going to do. im a fucking senior.. and i have no idea what i want to do after high school. something about that terrifies me immensely.

i just want to be out of here. away from everything that i've always known, or maybe everything that i've never truely known.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

:: 2005 15 October :: 12.42 pm

i guess its about time i update about homecoming. prom probably takes the cake cuz of everything we did before and after... but dancing wise... this one was the best!

me and keegan clashed, but at the same time looked really good together. the green and purple ended up looking very nice. i couldnt have been happier with my dress. it looked perfect, it wasnt to long, it fit wonderfully... *smiles. so anyways, me, keegan, stacy, brad and brandi went to timbers for dinner... i got meatloaf... heck yes! but then i made keegan trade me his steak.. giggles.

the dance turned out VERY nice. the decorations were awesome and i loved the theme. the seniors did a kick ass job.

we got our pictures taken right when we got there, hopefully it turns out good. we're not your average couple, and poses just dont work for us... so we did our own thing. thats what we usually do though... we always do our own thing...

but yeah.. the dance was great.. i danced with keegan all night.. almost as if nobody else was around. and the last song they played "you look wonderful tonight" is one of our songs.. so the night just ended perfectly. i got really good pictures, AND when keegan started break dancing... i didnt even get pushed the back of the circle... laughs.. i could actually SEE! its so cool that he does that.. i feel so cool dating him. *laughs again* i've never felt this way before.. or have ever thought that my boyfriend was cooler than me... its just amazing to think... wow, im dating keegan. i have to tell myself that from time to time...... he's so incredible.. and we're incredible together.

after the dance we just went back to keegans house and went to sleep. we were to tired to go bowling... and just feeling him close to me is all i need to make the night perfect... i know im overusing that word... but its the only word that fits.

the other day we went to klackle orchards and got pumpkins, donuts, apples, and gourds. it was so much fun. we got to ride in the "enchanted" pumpkins out to the pumpkin patch. keegans pumpkin is HUGE and mine WAS perfect until SOMEBODY broke the stem off. pshhh. but yeah.. that was a really fun day.

then last night after i got out of work we rented Crash and Call Me... we only watched Call ME cuz there was no way we were stayin up for two movies. it was ok.. but it really should have been classified as porn. lol. it was a BIT graphic to say the least. ahh well... what can ya do right?

so right now shelby has a bunch of little friends over because she turned 5 on monday... *tears.. she grows so fast* so todays her little birthday party. i have to go to work tonight... which i dont want to do... but when i get out we'll probably watch that other movie.

the good thing about having people over is that it forces me to clean my room. usually its a disaster, but my room is seroiusly the coolest room i've seen in person.. .not trying to be conceited or anything... but its pretty kick ass. so when people are over i always gotta show it to em. scott came over with keegan today... so in otherwords i was cleaning all morning. aww it was so cute. keegan came over to do some flips for all shelbys little friends. he's just so damn cool! *giggles

bad news though.... i cant drive my car anymore. we brought it in to get the breaks checked out and they said the front and back brakes are totally shot and it also needs new brake pads and roters and all that other stuff that me, being a girl, doesnt know anything about. but yeah, the cheapest they could fix it for is 650... and my mom doesnt think its worth putting that much money into. so i think we're gonna look into getting a different car.. possible an explorer. but i'll be out of a car for about a month im guessing... not like it matters.. i dont drive very often anyways. .maybe once or twice a week... if that. but yeah... thats my story.

yeah.. so i havent updated in awhile.. as a result this entry jumps all around and sounds kinda odd... but at least ya'll got the jist of my past week. alright... bye loves.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. | Random Journal