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:: 2004 15 April :: 9.27 am
:: Music: Screaming Trees - Nearly Lost You


I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

4 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 8 April :: 2.21 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Kitty. Meow.

I can't leave my Woohu........I just got the e-mail........and I've been thinkin I would miss it too much. I moved to livejournal cuz everyone had an LJ acount and I wanted to read theirs and post mine so I just went to one site. But woohu is like a little family, I can't leave it like that.

I will find a way to pay......

One way or another!!


4 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 3 February :: 1.24 am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: la la la! dootie-doo!

This is no longer my recent journal. I've moved it to here, so go check it out!

Yes, I know, I change my mind too much. But hey...I'm a woman!

See you all later!

If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 1 February :: 1.28 am
:: Mood: Blah.
:: Music: Commercials on the tv

boredom writting
Oh blahs of all blahs. I'm so bored. I bought stuff for my snapping turtle, Bert, yesterday. I got a filter for his water (he's so he can be all clean and stuff, and also a ramp for him to get up onto his dry land from the water, some sand for the dry land part, and some more silicone so we can attach the plexiglass to the inside of the tank (to separate the wet from the dry land). Kinda complicated, I know. But he's gonna be so happy.

It's so fun to watch him eat the little fishies. The fish are kind of stupid, too. They kinda sit there when I put them in his tank for a while then he just snaps at them and eats them whole! Heh...hence the name "snapping" turtle. How clever.

If I didn't tell anyone...Mr. Lizard died. A while ago. *Sniffle* He will be missed.

I don't even think a lot of people knew I had a pet lizard. Yeah...he was a Schneider's Skink. I couldn't really take care of him as best I could...with being worried about school and work and everything. But now I've got more time, so I'm gonna spoil my turtle.

Blah blah blah...I'm going to try and go to sleep now. Tom says I have to get on a "sleeping schedule". Pfft!

4 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 1 February :: 1.17 am
:: Music: Apartment 26-Give Me More

Do it, ok?
Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, an opinion -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice or more if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others whom you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

2 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 30 January :: 3.51 am
:: Mood: Insomniaic?
:: Music: Fucking Audioslave song stuck in my head....Highway.

No sleepy......cry now.
I can't fall asleep....mostly due to the fact that Tom snores and otherwise does annoying things in his sleep....steals the blankets...breathes in my face...argh. I took two sleeping pills a while effect. I should have taken the whole bottle and never wake up again.

I was kind of saddened when I looked at Tom's arm and saw the tattoo he has of his ex-girlfriend's intitials and her son's. He also has one on his chest of another girl's initials. And I was just thinking...what was so special about them that he would have their initials inked into his skin...twice mind you...and I don't get that privilege? Why am I not special? Then of course that led to me thinking that I wasn't as good as them...that I would never be "tattoo material". But then I also realized that they're gone...and I'm still here. They obviously weren't perfect enough to keep in fact I've got something that they don't. And that made me happy again.

As soon as I turn eighteen, I'm definetly thinking of getting his initials on me, even though Tom says I shouldn't and would probably be mad at me. But the way I see it....he's already left a lasting impression on me...basically changed me forever. There's always the possibility of us not being together anymore in the future...but even if that happens, I'm still going to remember everything. Everything he's done for me. Everything he's taught me. I wouldn't regret ever getting a tattoo to remind me of him. the tattoo is already there on my heart...that's for sure. Woven in permanently.

I don't care if I'm being mushy or sappy right now, this is my damn journal, and I'll write whatever the fuck I want in there!

Somehow I wish that I could stop aggravating him so much..but I never really notice when I do. Maybe I'm too selfish. But when I think I'm right, I just can't stop arguing until I prove it. And even if I am proven wrong, I still go on because of the embarrassment of being defeated. Ha, I think I've found the first flaw already...QUIT BEING A BITCH. There, now that that's solved.....I can move on.

Funny as it seems, I wish I was working right now. Even tomorrow. My manager said that the schedule is going to be disappointing for the next month or so (disappionting=2 work days a week=shitty paycheck). But after that, now that I've finished school (go me!), I should be getting pretty decent hours.

I'm going to go and try to sleep again...if Tom would stop rolling over on top of me, preventing me from breathing.

If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 26 January :: 9.03 pm
:: Mood: Excentric!!
:: Music: check it out check it out check it out check it out!

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! No more friggin school! HaHahAHaHaHaHaAaaHA!!! Fuck you school!!!! I win! Whaaaaaaaa!!!! meeeeeoooooopppppppppfft! tooka-tooka-too!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Hey, guess what? I'M HAPPY!!! HaHa! Woo-hoooooooo!!

I'ma gunna eat me some pie............

3 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 21 January :: 11.04 pm
:: Mood: pissed
:: Music: The sound of X-Play in the background

Ok......soooo.......haven't updated in a while. Meh...didn't really think anyone read this anyway.

So yeah....I'm pissed. Tom usually calls me when he goes on break at about 4:30...but no call today. That didn't really bother me too much. But he gets out of work at ten and it's now 11:12 and he's not home yet and hasn't called. At all. What the fuck?! I even made pizza for dinner. Really pisses me off.

You know what else pisses me off? All these special African-American things that are around. At work I found a calendar-notebook thing that was titled "366 days of black history" ( said 366 days.) And it made me think... why the hell do they get a special history for their race?? If there was a calendar about "white history", it would be considered racist. And there's also a channel on Direct TV called "Black Starz" (from the Starz movie channel) like they're saying that black people don't watch movies with white people in them, or vice-versa. Or even that they need their own movie channel. There's also BET, or Black Entertainment Television, like they need their own television channel to celebrate their heritage!! You don't see anything like White Entertainment Television or Chinese Entertainment Television, NnnNOooOo, remember? That's racism!!

God damn stupid people...all they're doing is separating the races again like it was in the 1930's...what was that again? Oh yeah...segregation! It really makes me mad that people think they're doing a good thing, when they're only making it worse!!

Ahem.....sorry about that. It just makes me mad. Like I said. 11:30 and still no Tom. Fuck off. Good night.

1 Corpse | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2004 9 January :: 3.22 pm
:: Mood: Fucking Shitty
:: Music: Shit

Jeezus fucking christ, today sucks ass. I was up till 3 in the morning doing a project for school. That was shitty becuase Tom was aggravated that I was doing my school project at the last minute, and I needed to burn the project onto a disc so he had to tell me how to do that. Thing is, I couldn't burn it until I was finished with it -obviously- and he didn't want to be woken up to tell me how to do it so he showed me how. Fortunately I got it done and managed to burn it onto a disc with no problem. But I had to burn the song that had to go with my project ( I was doing a power point presentation on a music composer) onto a separate disc, using the last of Tom's CD-R's. So he was mad about the whole project thing, making me upset, which I still am. Then in the morning we had a 90-minute delay apparently, but I somehow misinterpretted that as staying asleep until 12 (I don't think in the morning, 90-minute delays fuck me up). So then Tom was aggravated that I didn't go to school, as was I because I finally got my fucking project done and I wasn't in school to present it. There's no hope left for me in English, I swear. My teacher keeps asking me if I plan on staying another semester and I keep saying no, but now I think she might be right.

Then the t.v. fucked up and it still is. I didn't do it.

Fuck this now I have to go to work at 5. Shit I hate this fucking day.

4 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2003 22 December :: 1.06 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: KoRn-Y'all Want a Single

X-mas-y Blah!
I got a couple things already, X-mas wise. From my secret santa at work she gave me a ten dollar gift certificate to Hot Topic. That was pretty nice of her considering she's like an old lady-type person. Haha I hope she didn't go in there by herself. Not that there's anything wrong with old ladies.

And I bought some things for myself, too, I'll admit. While I was shopping for other people. Hehe. Anyways, I got myself 2 pairs of fishnets, one red pair and one black, because I needed more. And I also got myself a rock candy growin experiment thing. It comes with all the stuff that you need to make your own rock candy. It's pretty cool. The only thing is I have to wait a week for it to fully grow. Oh well, on Friday I get some rock candy, then.

I got more of my shopping done, though. Here's who can be expecting something from me:

Jon M.
Jon L.
My Mommy
My Grandma
My Grandpa
Tina (Co-worker)
Jessie (Tom's sister)
My sister
My Daddy
My brother
My Dad's fiancee

Well, I think I did pretty damn good. But, none the less, I still have to get things for the remaining people on my list, as to be fair. They are:


I promise I will get you guys something! Everybody has been pretty damn nice to me so I'm trying to give a little something back, to make up for all the time I want to hang out with them but can't because of work or whatever else I have to be doing. Haha I'm so nice. Not to brag or anything, but I thimk I can be pretty generous. Most of the people I got stuff for said they probably couldn't get me anything but I got them stuff anyway. Actually, I don't even expect to get anything back from other people, and did this even knowing that might be true. Because I don't even care, really, I'm just being nice because I want to. But any and all gifts to me are! ;)

Haha I stole one of my brother's X-mas presents while I was wrapping them for my mom. They're astro-jax. They're pretty neat their like a futuristic yo-yo, except it has three balls that rotate around each other, depending on what way you spin it or whatever. Haha that sounds kinda sick. Oh well.

I have to go work for 5 today. Ggrrr I don't wanna, but I do. I like the people there and they're nice to me now. Before they were all being bitches to me, guess it was the way I look. A lot of them even said to me that they misjudged me and that I really am a really cool person, despite the way I come off by the way I dress. Good, I'm changing the minds of some people. That makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. lol. And I like them, too, I think we all work well together and we can get shit done on time.

We also have this thing there called "reach for the stars" and you get reach for the stars cards every time you do something out of your way for another associate or customer. Like for example, there was a woman and her daughter there one day shopping and her daughter found a purse she really liked, but we only had red out and she wanted it in black. I told them that all the merchandise was still packaged downstairs in the recieving room and it would take a while to find one certain item. I saw that the girl was really disappointed and was reluctant to settle for the red one, so I went downstairs anyway to check. The box of purses downstairs happened to be open and I dug through it looking for a the black one she wanted. Out of luck I happened to find the exact one she was looking for and brought it up to her. She was extatic that I had found one and told my manager what I did for her. Mrs. M. (my manager) was really pleased to hear it (even saying "that's the kind of customer service I want to see!") and gave me a reach for the stars card. We don't actually get them, like physically recieve them, but she puts them on this huge poster with all the associates' names on it. She sort of just tallies them up on there with a sharpie. After you get about 25, you get an upgraded name badge. When you get hired there you get this cheap little gray plastic one with your name on a sticker on it. after getting 25 reach for the stars cards you get one that's red thick plastic with your name inscribed into it. I'm about 5 away from getting that one. After getting more cards you get better name badges, the next one is silver, then gold. The silver one looks really cool, too.

And i think this job really isn't just some stupid part-time thing I'm doing. I really like it there and hope to be getting full-time after I get out of school. I also hope to be able to get up to being head cashier. That would be nice. I get to tell people what to do, hehe! Maybe even manager one day if I stay there that long! Wow, I can't even picture myself being a manager of a store, neat-o! So what I'm saying basically is that I really am serious about this job and I like it very much. I haven't called out once yet. In two months. also get a reach for the stars card every time you don't call out for a month. So I'm doing pretty good there.

I think that's it for this entry. Remember to get me something for X-mas! I love you all!

2 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2003 16 December :: 3.49 pm
:: Music: Mindless Self Indulgence-Faggot

Savvy? was boring. Woke up...went to home...and now what? Jeez I haven't written in along time in this silly thing. Well I did write a little while ago, but I accidentally closed the screen and it went buh-bye. Dammit. I forgot what I wrote, too. It was a lot. Oh well.

Let's see....Snow days are fun. We just had one yesterday, even though I slept all day so I didn't really enjoy it all that much. damn I'm so lazy lol. I wanna watch Pirates again. I love that fuckin movie.

I am shit out of luck for money this year as far as buying X-mas presents go. But actually it's ok...because the most expensive things I want to buy (either for Tom, Mommy, or Matt) I don't have to worry about! We all have planned an X-mas 2, on January 25. Not only will everything be on sale, but we all won't be rushed to get eachother what we really want to get them. So it works out just fine. I still have to get to the mall, hopefully. I can't find too much stuff here. The people I've gotten things for already are:

Jon M.
Tom (little thing)
Mom (a couple things)
My grandma
My grandpa
Tom's sister Jess
My sister Alicia
My dad

That's only because I either ran out of money or couldn't find anything right away that was good for them. But the next paycheck I get is going to all the presents I have to get. I still have to get stuff for Derek, Jon L., Ian, Missy, Pete, Megan, Satan, Justin, Dan, Dave, Matt, Tina, and probably some others. They may not be the greatest gifts but since I didn't get anybody anything last year, I'm determined to make up for it this year. Hopefully I can pull it off with one, maybe two paychecks. If they give the last one before X-mas.

And I mean it's not like I can only give some people things, because I don't want to single anybody out. I would feel like shit if I did.

Oh anybody was thinking about getting me anything *wink wink* *nudge nudge* Here's some stuff that would make me happy:

Neopets cards (booster packs)
Jewelry (not gold! Please!)
Purple lipstick (dark purple)
Dragon figures (not chinese dragons)
Anything having to do with KoRn
Body jewelry (not pretty-girl ones)
Belts (black)
Invader Zim something
Homemade stuff (from the heart, people!)

Heh...I know....I'm picky. Oh well, just a thought. Anything at all would be nice. Even a friggen peice of paper that says happy holidays. Whatever. Some of you have to give me more ideas on what to get ya, I get stuck.

Alrighty to do my homework so i can pass English : / . Then probably gonna watch Pirates again *smile*. Buh-bye!

2 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2003 6 December :: 11.11 pm
:: Mood: Feelin' sexy
:: Music: You are my shining star-by that dude...

Hiyeeeeeeee!! To whoever is reading this! In a really good mood I am! I have been lately.....damn those faeries. Little.... baby..... dragons.....! Moooooff!!

Ha, I'm so weird. I didn't have to go to work today! On account of snow. It was funny though, they called me EXACTLY one minute before I was going to leave. Good thing, I woulda been pissed if I had to walk all the way down there for no reason. I want a sandwich.

I don't know if I have to work tomorrow.... forgot to check the schedule, silly me! I'll just call in the morning.

Oooooooohhhh! I had fun in the snow today! I made a snow mermaid, kind of ironic if you think about it. I also did one of those snow angel things and then I put horns on it. And I made a little tiny baby snowman on my porch. He don't got no arms or facial features, though. He was fragile. He's so cute though! But of course, since it's been snowing ever since I made them they're probably all covered up by now. *sniffle*

Yesterday I bought my favoritest new movie- Pirates of the Caribbean! The only movie I think Johnny Depp looks good in! You gotta admit, Johnny Depp is one ugly dude, but put a little eyeliner on his face, dress him up in pirate's clothing and make him crazy, now he's sexy! Ooooh so sexy!! And I didn't even know it but it came with a free poster! Eeehee! You can imagine I was happy over that!

Meep, I'm gonna go watch it again! ^.^

3 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2003 5 December :: 12.14 am
:: Mood: Bouncy
:: Music: NYC 4-Intro

I like Pizza.
Noooooooooo.....................BLAH!! I dunno what I'm writting an entry for. Nothing really exciting happened today. But it is confirmed that Justin hates me. But I still don't hate him. The world moves strangely sometimes.

you are the one, Neo.

Squeakin. I hate Doyle. Stupid english-teaching bitch of a person that she is. But things may be looking up...she mentioned that her other hip was bothering her, but that she was gonna hold off surgery. HA! You can't escape it bitch! You are falling apart!! Muahahahaha!!! I will not take your stupid class again! I WILL NOT!

Argh Justin has something to tell me he says. Good or clue. No idea what it is. Guess I'll have to wait. Maybe he doesn't hate me? He changes his mind a lot. Hhmmmm........ >.<

My mommy is cool.

2 Corpses | If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2003 3 December :: 10.21 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Techno

silly survey
Here's a survey I took...BORING!
Birthdate:August 6th, 1986
Birthplace:Hartford Hospital, Hartford CT
Current location:Torrington, CT
Hair:Black (at the moment)
Height:5' 6"
Righty or Lefty:Righty
Zodiac Sign:Leo
Your heritage:Irish and German
Your weakness:Being Tickled
Your shoes you wore today:Didn't wear any today...lazy!
Your fears:Being alone, big spiders, speed
Your perfect pizza:Cheesey with ultra fluffy stuffed crust
Goal you'd like to achieve:Paint a good picture
Your thoughts first waking up:I don't wanna go to school today...back to bed.
Your best physical feature:My butt
Your bedtime:When I get sleepy
Your most missed memory:When I first met Tom ~.~
Pepsi or Coke:Pepsi by far
McDonald's or Burger King:D'angelos
Single or group dates:Single, more intimate
Adidas or Nike:Vans
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Iced tea is good..
Chocolate or vanilla:Choconilla
Cappuccino or coffee:Latte
Smoke:Smoke....what? I smoke beef.
Cuss:Fuck yeah!
Take showers daily:No, when I get smelly I do
Have a crush:I don't need one
Think you've been in love:I am ^.^
Want to go college:Nope!
Want to get married:Yes!
Believe in yourself:You do know that's what a Satanist is, right? Sure I do.
Get motion sickness:During long car rides. 4 hours and I get queasy
Think you're attractive:I'd like to fuck myself
Think you're a health freak:Nah
Get along with your parents:Yes, quite well
Like thunderstorms:Oh yes!
Play an instrument:Nope
Layer.six - in the past months
Gone to the mall:Yup
Eaten an entire box of Oreos:I don't like Oreos, and they come in packages
Eaten sushi:I don't like fish, either
Been on stage:Nope
Gone skating:I don't skate anymore
Made homemade cookies:No
Gone skinny dipping:Jeez, I haven't done that in a long time
Dyed your hair:Many times!
Stolen anything:I tried, but I got scared... - ever..
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated:I have been
Been called a tease:I don't tease, I go right for it
Got beaten up:Does beating up yourself count?
Age you hoped to be married:20-21
Number and name of children:With Tom: however many until a boy to carry on Keesler last name
Dream wedding:If it's with Tom it could be in an alley way and I would be just as happy
How do you want to die:Smiling
Where do you want to attend college:If I'm forced to go, York, Pennsylvania
Dream job:Stripper! Haha I would only do that once!
Country you want to visit:Japan
Layer.nine - In a guy/girl...
Best eye color:Green or grey
Best hair color:Any
Short or long hair:Very short
Height:Over 6'
Best weight:150-160
Best clothing:Anything they want
Best first date
Best first kiss location:On my face
Number of drugs taken illegally:2 (Ex and pot)
Number of people I could trust with my life:1 My mom
Number of CDs that I own:About 70
Number of piercings:15
Number of tattoos:1
Number of times my name's been in the news:Once for gettong high honors in middle school
Number of scars on my body:2 significant ones, lotsa little ones
Number of things in my past that I regret.:So very many

Layers brought to you by BZOINK!

I'm gonna go take some more....

If you click this your computer will explode!

:: 2003 3 December :: 7.53 pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: techno-y

I think it's kinda weird how someone's opinion can change so quickly about another person, even when that person stays the same. Just a little while ago, Justin was saying how cool I was and pretty and whatever in his journal (jjkgamers) and now he's saying I basically suck. *sigh* I can't win. Take a look:

jjkgamers: damn far two quizzies have called me a 'hopeless romantic'
jjkgamers: dammit
bunnyblood2: lol
bunnyblood2: did you see mine in my journal?
jjkgamers: yea
bunnyblood2: lol
jjkgamers: yep
bunnyblood2: i took other ones too
jjkgamers: quiz's suck, they dont know jack shit about me or what i wanna do with my life
bunnyblood2: i'm an exotic dancer barbie
bunnyblood2: and a bondage care bear
jjkgamers: ill bet
jjkgamers: you're bondage everything
bunnyblood2: hehe
jjkgamers: bondage sucks
bunnyblood2: what can i say?
bunnyblood2: there you go again
jjkgamers: sorry!
bunnyblood2: would you please stop saying everything i like sucks? that doesnt make me feel like much of a person
jjkgamers: we're too different
jjkgamers: i dont like it
bunnyblood2: and?
bunnyblood2: there's nothing i can do about that
jjkgamers: i kno!
jjkgamers: im just sayin
bunnyblood2: nor do i want to
jjkgamers: i never asked you to change
bunnyblood2: then youre never gonna like me
jjkgamers: probably not
jjkgamers: oh well
bunnyblood2: why can't you just accept that i'm different?
bunnyblood2: than the way you are?
jjkgamers: because you're too different for my tastes
jjkgamers: if you're offended, then im sorry
jjkgamers: but thats the way i am
jjkgamers: and it's hard to change your mental mindset about things

I don't know....I can't figure it out. I'm not sad about it or anything, just confused. I don't know what I do to make people hate me. I mean, I like the way I am. I'm really happy with who I've become. Maybe people are jealous? There's nothing to be jealous about over me. Whatever I have, others can get if they try hard enough. Most would try to take it from me I bet. But I don't have much. Christ....I don't even have a family!

I'll never understand the concept of hating other people for their interests. It's just not fair...nobody can expect a person to be exactly like them. There are no two exact same people...even siamese twins have their own opinions about things. I thought that individuality was a good thing, but I guess that's not the case with some people. I LOVE being different...I almost take pride in it. when I walk by somebody wearing all black with my fishnet tights and knee-high black boots on and they sneer or look makes me smile. Then I go to a concert like Ozzfest where there are others like me and I'm still happy. I can be who I am wherever I go and be happy... while at the same time not judging people for what they look like.

Look at me and Tom...we look nothing alike. In any way. He dresses in jeans and a t-shirt. And I couldn't care less. I know that he's still the same person whether he's wearing that or black baggy jeans with a ripped black long sleeved tight shirt, chains on the pants and spikes around his neck (ooh....that sounds hott..). And he doesn't criticize my clothing either. Or my music. I've actually grown to like his music...techno I guess. He likes a lot of things.

Sure, it's cool when you and someone else share the same interests, that's awesome. But it's just not cool to dislike someone because they don't like the same things you do, especially when they're already your friend. Makes no sense! I'm sorry... confusion is inevitable for me in this case. Maybe if I wasn't such a nice person I would understand.

But for the record, I'm not gonna hate you just because your interests don't appease me. Remember that. And keep your individuality, nobody else has what you do.

If you click this your computer will explode! | Random Journal