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godessalthena

:: 2018 9 November :: 6.42am

making people happy cry on their birthdays is one of my all time favorite things in the whole world

I love birthdays. I wish they turned it excellent more often. I wish everyone could have at least one perfect day a year and god damn it should be your anniversary of existing.

this birthday will be good.

happy birthday sweetheart

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 7 November :: 1.59pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Dawn golden

Well, I know I'm hard to take
And my bones are calling out your name
While I beat your cold windows
Break the locks on the gate
While I try to forget
I used to be something great
Because you're all that I, all that I want

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 27 October :: 8.42pm

not gonna lie, I do sometimes regret getting this sleeve

but I mean, what's the point of commitment if not for the follow thru?

I just wish it was always cold outside so I could hide it when I don't feel like being seen.

1 Idea | What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 15 October :: 9.40am

I just want to connect with you, but I can't find any words, and I don't know what to say.

I feel like every day I'm drifting further away.

"I'm slipping out of your hand while you'll stay put in mine"

2 Ideas | What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 4 October :: 7.35pm

attempting to bottle things up better like everyone else

it's hard and makes people think there's something wrong with me

maybe eventually they will forget I was ever another way

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 4 October :: 5.30am

bjorne is the most cuddly first thing in the morning it's the best

this morning he let me rub his head and ears and then cuddled with me. then Dad got him but it was just so sweet

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 26 September :: 9.50am

training 30 people worth material I created myself.

so fucking nervous

1 Idea | What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 20 September :: 7.34am
:: Mood: curious

who even reads this
I found this in a post from 2006. please please please if you read this fill it out, I'll reply and fill one out for you. no judgement

Two things you wonder about me
1.
2.

Three Things you like about me
1.
2.
3.

Two of my best features
1.
2.

Two things you don't like about me
1.
2.

Three words that describe me
1.
2.
3.

One question for me (ask away, i will answer honestly)
1.

12 Ideas | What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 19 September :: 6.37am

I don't get sick very often, but I've some how caught a cold and I feel like death

balloon head sinus pressure head ache stuffy runny nose huge cough and mucus in my lungs

ugh some bring me soup & cuddles

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 16 September :: 1.27am

reconnected with Juan's old roommates and it was even better than old times marli is going to be around all the time I effin love her been doing bruches with the new roommates and trying to step outside my comfort zone more new project at work training 80 CSRs I'm so effing excited went to the fair and ate the most amaZing burrito with the bestie everyone has these wonderful pets that love me and my own pets have been much more affectionate lately

things are feeling better, I'm glad the storm has passed and I feel like I'm finally thinking clearly again

working from home really helps in so many ways

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 14 September :: 6.53am

why am I so jealous still of this dude

why can't I shake the feeling the songs are about him

how do I move past this? why am I so insecure?

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 9 September :: 9.15pm

just leave

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 9 September :: 9.28am

I just want to give up. I hate every beautiful day.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 5 September :: 7.51pm
:: Mood: adoring

when baby dog is really happy, she runs around completely nuts around the living room and then bolts away into the kitchen to get a drink and then bolts into the den

my mom squeels with glee every time she does it, and it's always the same adorable sound with a wonderful giggle after and it's just one of my absolute favorite things. it makes my heart sing.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 5 September :: 6.19am

I suck at comforting people


one day down of sober September and I have had no break from an uncomfortable unsettled feeling deep in my stomach, like I ate copious amounts of cheese.

I can do this.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 4 September :: 9.34pm

I'm really fucking sick and tired of being treated like I don't know shit.

I know a lot. I'm smart. I've had jobs in different areas and understand how almost all insurance works (besides life insurance, but that seems like the most straight forward insurance).

but go ahead,just treat me like I don't know anything. it's okay.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 29 August :: 2.12pm

you either are important or you aren't

you either matter to someone or you don't

I'm always in the "not" category

and it hurts, but trying harder just looks desperate, and I don't know how to do less than what I do. I'm just a non entity. I'm fading into nothing. I don't speak I don't care I just feel sad and lonely.

and I know it'll only get worse. I know I'll be the worst mom. I know I'll die in child birth. I know I'll have a miscarriage. I know I'm sterile.

why do I even exist

I am a meaningless creature on a meaningless planet in an infinite expanse of nothing.

how do I fix this?

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 29 August :: 8.24am

why is it that I always manage to convince myself that my bf is gay and in love with another man?????

it happens every time. am I crazy? am I imagining it?

is it just my insecurities about not being a man? maybe I was just supposed to be a man. idk.

life is so confusing.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 26 August :: 12.52pm

this country is so fucking fucked.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 22 August :: 9.45pm

I'm so freaking frustrated I want to scream.

there just no being happy. if I do one thing I suffer in another way.

I need to find a therapist.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 19 August :: 11.01pm

maybe it'll never be enough

maybe it's just me

2 Ideas | What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 18 August :: 11.21pm

I know a lot of people hate lap dogs but they are honestly the best

they are perfectly destined to be our hand held best friends

I just want to snuggle my puppies forever





domesticated dogs are just permanent puppies and it's just the best. dogs were made to be with people. out of how many animals in the world dogs are the only one to truly and unrevokably to be our best friend. can you imagine a world without dogs?

it would be a pretty fucking sad world.


not to say other domesticated animals aren't awesome, they just don't hold a candle to dogs. they are the best. hands down.


DOGS FUCKIN ROCK

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 18 August :: 10.19pm

I love being the best

even if it's at something stupid.

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 17 August :: 9.10am

worst timing ever... check
constant ability to out foot in mouth... check
permanent confusion towards life... check


how does anyone actually enjoy this whole "being alive and interacting with other people" bullshit?

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 12 August :: 7.53am

when you can tell your dogs are starting to love you again because you spend more time at home

best feeling ever

working from home is truly so wonderful. I know it's hard to balance working from home and feeling "included" at the office but the two days I go in is just perfect. one day would probably be my preference but eh.

now if I could just get some extra cash....

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 10 August :: 5.53pm

ah fuck it

I'm gonna have a party

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 7 August :: 9.32am

first day working from home was pretty much the most amazing thing ever so glad they gave me this opportunity!

I didn't complain over yesterday. I just felt comfortable

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 5 August :: 10.43pm

even though she still feels haunted

haunted

haunted

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 3 August :: 10.20pm

it's has always been this way

and to many people i'll always be the same

a broken record of broken thoughts but really I have been going to work regularly for 8 years with a corporation I loathe and in a career I despise but hey at least it pays my debts? it could be worse or course.

after my most recent break down I decided to have a better attitude it's lasted a month or so, but I'm slipping. I start working from home on Monday so I think that'll help ease the pain that comes with being a cog in the corporate murser machine.

at least I know insurany helps more people than it hurts. I mean nothing is perfect and no one will always be 100% satified but how many people could truly replace all the shit that is lost when you lose it all? I mean I guess it sucks if you never have to use it, but think about it like paying it forward in a really big way.

maybe I'm brainwashed but I tell myself these things so I can sleep at night.

I should adopt a cause. but in the face of these insurmountable obstacles I can't even pick a place to begin.

I just need some direction please. just a little would help

What do you think?


godessalthena

:: 2018 31 July :: 9.40am

this smoke doe

like it's normal for the world to burn every summer

like the world isn't warming up

What do you think?

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