She doesnt make it easy. I know when she seems 'off'. She seems that way tonight. I feel like she hides it by praising me or praising my ability to overlook her strange ways.
Its not really easy to deal with this. I want to not offend her, especially if she has been drinking, that wont end well. She will resent me and not even know why or what was the problem(s).
"Sometimes I think that you don't like me as much as you did before."
How does one properly respond to that? Im nervous to answer it. Its loaded.
I do like you. I liked you more, yes. I want to like you as much, and try hard to do so. Its easy to do so. Whats not easy is how to deal with you acting stranger at times than others. The wait you put me through for a chance to try this thing out has hurt things. I see it and know it. Id like to think I overlook it 95% of the time too.
Well, in a week I will be getting a scope done on my knee. Again. I will have to stay off my leg for 6 weeks. And if this scope doesn't help, in a year, I will need to get a graft from a cadaver. Still so much to do and very little time to do it all in.
It's weird. Being someone's girlfriend, finally. After 3 years. Didn't think I would actually find someone I care so much about and someone who cares about me. I love my bear so much. He's been good to me. I don't think I can be any happier.
Wow. Just...wow. This totally just broadsided me.
I hate fb so much at times. Most the time.
This is one of them.
A picture of the person I like(read: Im trying not to like) with someone who was a friend online entitled "ha".
Hows that for a big "Fuck you" moment? I feel insulted, jealous, irate, and put-off. How can I not?
Im angry that the plan changed, that things between us changed, and now this...
"Nails in the coffin" of the issue is how I feel about the you and these issues. I get riled up about this whole thing very easy because of my current mental state. Its very low fyi. Though in my defense being alone all the time can do this do a person.
Im so cynical all the time and thinking every ones out to cut me down. Today Im right. Today I am being cut down and someone is trying to push my buttons.
Can I curl up in a ball now? Id love to do that about now.
6months ago, I pictured this going so much differently. Now that Im here I want to rewind the tape, give the middle finger to it all, and just move on.