2019 20 July :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: No one cares how I feel
My faith in people will be my downfall. I don't know why I have so much hope for others to love me as much as I love them - friends - partners - this is why I haven't gotten close to anyone else in a while. This is why I don't let my guard down anymore. People want different things than you do - whether that means time spent together, affection, humor, closeness, goals - whatever it is, I always pick wrong; I always hope for more.
I don't know what I'm expected to do anymore. If you try so hard for so long and you're let down time and time again, how are you supposed to be expected to be calm and cool and collected? How are you supposed to assume the best any longer?
All the red flags just pass me by with my rose-colored glasses. They are all unique, beautiful people that will eventually come around. Time has shown that's not the case and people will continue to disappoint me and I will continue to love them just as I always have.
I'm so fucking weak.