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:: 2005 5 March :: 6.57 pm
:: Music: party hard

what a wasted fucking day. today is saturday and i did jackshit. johanna and sarah wanted me to go chill with john mac & paul..? that would be even more of a waste then staying at home doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHINGG! hm.. samm wanted me to go with her and wyatt & miles to sterling soccer and the sports plex but no one could get in touch with them soo.. we're just hangin out here i guess. i really need to make plans with someone for tonight because for once i want to leave this house. today & yesterday were just shitty. i hate the feeling that you're home while everyone else in the world is out having a good time.. it sucks. mer..

yesterday johanna IMed me and was like "nick doesnt like you anymore, he likes jenny, i just thought you should know" i was like mkk... i dont know if im over-reactung but it was kinda bitchy. i mean she just acted lke it was no big deal and that kinda pissed me off. soo.. i was pretty T.O.'d at johanna so i talked with molly for a while and she made me feel better (: wtf she told me that johanna tells her that she can "hook her up" with like weed & shit. lmao what an asshole, first of all, johanna has never done weed, and second of all.. johanna doesnt know any fucking dealers what an idiot. AND johanna like told molly that she was a big drinker or something and johanna even TOLD me that she only drinks on occasion and that she has never even been wasted. god. i hate people who try to act like the get fucked up every day of the week and that theyre badass. jesus christ johanna can be such a fucking liar, i mean i love her to death but she lies like no other person ive met & to make it worse, shes not even a good liar. mer, whatever. i dont want to even talk about it anymore cause its just pissing me off. so anyway that was the gay nick/johanna drama & other than that, she was like forcing me to tell cory about how i like nick and i didnt want too cause how the fuck would i tell him something like that? oh by the way, i like nick, just thought you should know! wtf like.. stoner? and so she was just being retarded and bitchy telling me shit i already knew like "jay, you know this is the last time he is ever going to ask you out. this is the last time! after this it is definitely over." UM LIKE I DIDNT KNOW THAT BITCH! god not like 293849023 people dont remind that like 25 times a day. jesus christ people need to worry about their own shit cause i know wtf i need to deal with. god. and so anyway, johanna ends up telling him for me and makes me feel even worse about everything & then in place of me on cory's profile it says something like "johanna is insanely cool" or some shit like that and i was like umm okk. so then in cory's little "buddy profile" thing it had an entire page for me and then newly added was "johannas entire page" wtf is she like trying to move in on him or something? since when the HELL were cory and her buddy buddy? i have NEVER seen them together at school or anything. what a fucking bitch. god i didnt realize how much anger i had about this whole situation. i mean, its not like i want to be with cory but the fact that im so newly over him and to have johanna act the way she is.. god it just really fucks with me badly. im really pissed just about like.. ugh everything today. im actually glad i stayed mostly with myself today because if i had hung out with jo i wouldve been the biggest bitch.

alright, im glad i got to talk this out (: i feel better now, but im gonna get back to this later.

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 4 March :: 8.24 pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: listening to ethan talk while he draws me a picture!

hangin with ethan!
lmao its friday night.. and im chilling with a 4 year old! haha i know you wish you were in my shoes right now! haha yeah jealous much?

so tday i got to skip all of my enligsh class and mostly all of science because i had to go to the ortho with my mom but she let me stay home and not go to first period. yess. soo i had gym with the hotties today it was fucking awesome! lmao we played this game "ship to shore" and emily and i DOMINATED!! haha god it was fucking amazing! haha omg skillz that killz for LIFE! haha it was great! then i had civics with the hoebags! nick and ryan! haha it was hot as normal - loves it.

so johanna was like being kinda pushy wanting me to tell cory that like nick and right now i dont really care if he knows or not! hes just so annoying and im like really done with it.. i mean i dont even know if i can deal with being his friend anymore because he just treats me retardly and its gay. like wtf is he smoking treating the chick that he "loves" like that? whatever. im over it.

nick told me last night that "between him and i" that he llikeD he a lot and that he still has feelings for me but also for jenny.. its like good on one side and then kinda sucky on the other but im still pretty excited about it (: god i really really want nick.. i think we would be so hot together.. ha molly was PUMPED up for me when i told her ha i love that hoe!

johanna goes commando in rental gym suits

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 2 March :: 7.02 pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: rock & roll aint noise pollution

first day of school
today was the first day of school in like.. 6 days? god damn i wanted to die so bad! lmao i was so delerious and retarded all day! mm so first period i had english which makes me want to throw myself out of a moving bus.. god damnn i hate that class so much! jesus christ its such a waste of time.. i already speak english so who gives a shit if i know or dont know wtf an ADVERB is or some random shit like that.. geez.. well anyways, i have to sit with all the freakshows and im like dying.. at least paige is within lip-reading distance. thats the only thing that keeps me ALIVE in that class. jesus. second was science. meh.. the class isnt that bad. it can suck but it always goes by pretty quickly so thats good. wtf we moved seats & now im not by my homeslice christian! tearrr! instead.. im like in the middle of the wasteland.. great. i have some retard with hairy gorilla arms sitting right next to me but i think they're smart so ill have a fun time just getting them to do all my shit for me! lmao the chick already caught me cheating off her test like 92890 times. whoops! god damnit i dont like how cheating isnt easy anymore haha it makes things so much more challenging.. merr. then i had gym which was retarded as normal. we had to do the fucking PACER TEST! AHH! bleh i got like a 32 and then i just changed it to a 36 to make me look slightly less pathedic.. haha johanna wasnt doing the test so i didnt have anyone to be partners with! ahh! i was with some fucking WEIRDASS names gina.. woah that chick needs tweezers STAT! god damn! mm then lunch was hot as usual.. then i strolled into civics and it was alright i guess.. not to hard not to easy so i dont really give a shit! then i got on the bus and went home. yess.

mm for the social part of my day.. lets see. cory was supposed to stalk me and friggin once again ask me to bone him. god. today i ran into him and like for the first time i was like "wtf am i doing with this queer?" i mean he really wasnt that much to look at today and i dont know i might have just been bitchy today but something was definitely retarded. like.. i actually had like a huge epiphany about everything. i mean.. a lot of people say i can do better and i never really took it as anything but i seriously think i can do a fucking LOT better than this shit im settling for! its retarded! hes retarded! and im really sick of going back and forth on this situation and i really just want it to be put in its place and just be fucking done with!
i was thinking and i really think that the thing with me is.. i like doing what i want. i like spending my time with my friends and not freaking out about my boyfriend and boundaries and phone calls and just gay shit that ive never really cared about, you know. i think im just scared that once i have a boyfriend that everything is going to change with me and i dont want that to happen. err god i hate clinginess too.. ahh! like s'pose i get up from like.. uhh the lunch table or something i dont want that person to like follow me or worry about that person being mad at me for leaving.. i think im finally so happy with the way things are working out with me and everyone that i dont want it to change so soon. plus.. i kinda knew that i have felt this way because i dont like.. "fantasize" about perfect boyfriends or anything because im find by myself. well anyways, didnt mean to make this a big thing but im glad i wrote it in here. well im about to get yelled at so i gotta get out of here.. later.

it's about finding beauty in something imperfect - marc jacobs

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 28 February :: 9.41 pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: never there

ok.. so its the 5th fucking day of no school! CHYESS! could i love it more? from the looks of it we're going to be having a 6th day off! godd LOVES IT! ha its gonna suck so bad when we actually go back to school! i might die! 6 hours of continous learning.. jesus christ i have never heard of anything so awful! bleh! yeah so anywayss..

jess called me the other night and was like "why are you mad at me?" and i was like "woah, im not mad at you at all! i thought YOU were mad at me!" & so it turned out that it was just a big misunderstanding between the 2 of us and so we're good right now. but apparantly from what jess said.. shes not sure if shes going to be friends with johanna which is kinda unexpected and she said shes still mad at sarah so who knows wth is going on there but im more than happy im not involved!

i found out today cory's gonna ask me to be his bitch (: haha a little unexpected but meh! johanna told me that its gonna be the next time he sees me? haha wtf i always find things out from johanna - she tells me everything! i think thats why im never suprised! hm..

lmao daniel drew a picture of me as a WARRIOR OF THE MOON! lmao it says some shit about.. hold on let me copy it on here..
sarah: It said...Slaying monsters on the mooon...My fair lady, mmarry me soon..
lmao i love it! i cant wait to see it! haha oh god..

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 27 February :: 8.09 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: happy now?

yeah so im dressing as a nurse for cory's birthday in like a month lmao. loves it. haha hot stuff!

we're supposed to get 12 inches of snow! yess! i think we might not have school tomorrow! we would have a 5 day weekend! jesus that would be the greatest thing ever.. ahh.. i might die thinking about it

so today i woke up at 3 and my day was really short. the end.

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 26 February :: 5.54 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: none

yeah so last night was really fun at jo's. we watched harold and kumar and it was like the fuckin funniest thing i have ever seen. haha i didnt expect it to be as funny as it actually was. haha we have so many new things from that movie. but yeah, jo's was pretty cool. we're trying to plan something out for tonight but i dont know whats going to happen. oh yeah i meant to add that johanna and i were like making fun of hailey and johanna didnt want to be a hoe & shit so i was just laughing like "haha do on my sn i dont give a shit" and it actually turned out to be a huge f'ing deal and now im paying for it and yeah it kinda sucks cause i dont hate hailey at all and she is a really cool chick and i dont even know what was wrong with me and why i did it. so im trying to apologize but i dont even have a reason for what i did so i kinda sound like a jackass but whatever. oh well, im gonna have to take the heat for it & it sucks but im just gonna have to suck it up

bleh, im tired & bored.. hm.. i think im gonna get out of here, later.

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 24 February :: 7.09 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: thriller

god die
god damnit cory puts me in the worst mood. im seriously done with it. i deleted his screen names from my buddy list and im grabbing my phone to delete his number. jesus die.

so today was a snow day! fun! yeah so i slept until 1 and then i had to go do shit in the guest house ): it sucked. and then i had to do the MOUNTAIN of dishes and it sucked my balls. so samm did my make-up cause shes random like that! haha it was hot. yeah so i think im gonna go take another shower cause my hair looks like balls and i feel like it. i still need to do my civics.. merr, i dont want too. i think im staying after in pville with sarah, jo, and possibly hannah. we'll prolly just go to al's or something. jess is still being a bitch, courtney is going home with her after school tomorrow.. ew die. HOPE THEY HAVE FUN! hahah ew die, i hate courtney. shes so gay. yeah well i dont really have anything else to inform you on so ill write back tomorrow!

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 22 February :: 7.04 pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: come on home

mad tired ):
i have no idea wtf is wrong with me being freakin NARCALEPTIC (sp?) all the time.. its really gay. and annoying - ive been like a fucking cat the past 4 days! jesus. god damnit dont you hate it when you think youre off your crimson it comes back just for the hell of it? yeah i really hate it. we went to BRUINSWICK - ew favorite place ever.. and we went and stocked up on food cause we were like eating out of other peoples garbage. soo i stocked up on new fun sanitary napkins! YES! mad exciting i know. damn im bored. ahh.

yeah so yesterday samm and i went to tysons with dad and we went and finally returned the UGLIEST f'ing shirts i have ever seen to macy's and it turns out that the 4 hideous shirts were 200 bucks all together! schawing! yess! it kicked ass. so yeah the store was like closing so i didnt have a lot of time to shop and i was just getting in a bad mood cause sam was like stressing me out like anything cause she was like "HOLY SHIT (*#$(*@#$)(8 WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE CAUSE THE FUCKING POPE IS COMING WITH THE S.W.A.T. TEAM(#*@$)(" bleh and she was just being gay so i was in a bad mood on the way home but whatever. so i got a shirt from pacsun cause i had a giftcard there and um its a cute white billabong shirt and from victoria's secret i got this cute like slippy, white and yellow striped sundress that is like perfect for wearing over a bathing suit and i cant wait to wear it (: it's gonna be hot!

so today was boring as always. it sucked. i had english first and it makes me suicidal first thing in the morning. maybe if f'ing dono-saurus didnt have to go right behind MY chair every 3 fucking seconds and "accidentally" trying to get me to cop a cheap feel out her asshole then i could get some f'ing work done! god damnit her fat distracts me from my studies. i cant even tell you how many times i have gotten wayy distracted daydreaming about running a comb over her frizzy hair.. ew. ive probably wasted around 45 minutes a class period having these erotic fantasies about me taking her to the gym.. mm lypo! yeah so then we did these retarded practice SOL essays and the prompt was like "if you could have a converation with anyone, who would it be and what would you talk about?" and so i wrote about coco chanel because shes just damn awesome and it would be hot as hell to talk to her! after that i had science and f'ing christian wasnt there for me to have sword fights with him and it SUCKED. so yeah as normal, my group fucked up the math so we had to do the damn thing all over again and i dont think we're finished. it sucks. badly. yeah so i spent most of the time leaving my group to go chill with paige and missa out of sheer boredom. mad hot stuff. after that i had gym and it sucked ass cause flipping johanna wasnt there to dance the jungle music with me ): whore. yeahh so charlotte was being gay and everyone was talking shit about her while she was like less than a yard away. meh! we're cool like that. during the games and the running and shit she was like staring directly at me. psychoo. afterwards, i met up with sarah mere and molly and we walked towards the lockerroom to go find charlotte and as we were walking up, charlotte walked out and mere got right in her face and was like cussing her out and then charlotte tried to walk away and mere grabbed her arm and was like "dont you fucking walk away from me" and then charlotte walked down a random hallway and we didnt see her at lunch. so apparently charlotte was telling everyone she kicked mere's ass - chyeah right, half the school saw the whole thing happen anyway. whatta fagass. bitches. yeah then i went to civics and picked my classes and im taking DRAMA 1 cause im awesome and then SPANISH 2 exciting i know.. meh whatever. there arent any good classes to take in 9th grade anyway so whatever. and i found out about all this declan drama that i wasnt aware off and it was just retarded and i just blew it off cause it was gay. whatever. all the guys here are f'ing retarded anyway, its not like im missing out! yeahh and so after 8th period mere came up to me and told me that charlotte went to the principals office and then the dean and told all the deans and shit about the whole mere thing. what a fucking pussy. its her fault she was a slut? if you cant handle shit like this by now, youre fucked forever. i cant wait to jump her. no joke. hot shit.

alright thats the last of the fun stuff i have for today (: later cookie

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 20 February :: 8.57 pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: cool - gwen

yeah so i told you i would write back, and yeah so the other night was my party. MAD STRESSFUL! haha yeah so a bunch of the girls rode home with me along with miles and we hung out until people started showing up which was pete who was the first, and then everyone got there and it was craziness. people were just hooking up like no other, it was weird as hell.

it was like the most personal, live porn i have ever seen

yeah so i dont know i mostly just got out of there cause i have a thing with big crowds like that and i was just like getting all stressed out so i hung out with tess and kayla WHO I HAVE A NEW MADD HOT AFFECTION FOR! and we went out with blankets and partied on the trampoline and just hung out and we partied with daniel boyle for a lot of the night and i love that kid! haha aw he was helping me relax soo much! i was laughing like every second i was out there! haha aw i had more fun on the trampoline than i had partying inside! haha aw i love all those kidds! hotties! haha yeah so basically the drama was PETE AND MERE HOOKED UP! ahhH! SICK!! lmao i love mere and i love pete but together.. i was like spewing but i was trying to be supportive and so CHARLOTTE.. ahh die! was being the biggest slut! holy shit! so her and taylor ball are like best friends and whatever so kenny called taylor and broke up with her over the phone just so charlotte and kenny could hook up! so they were in the closet with both of their shirts off like spooning or whatever and so i dont know, make a long story short, charlotte called mere a whore and mere was mad saying that charlotte had noo right to talk and mere wasnt even being a whore which i agree with completely and soo mere went and punched charlotte like 3 times and i was shitting my pants laughing. i loved every second of it and so fast forward.. charlotte called her parents and they came and like yelled at my parents and it was all gay and so im just looking forward to kicking her ass on tuesday for making a big scene. yeah shes pretty gay like that. meh whatever. so yeah i have conversations that need tending too so i will write back later cause i didnt do shit today! later hotties

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 19 February :: 1.42 pm
:: Mood: delerious
:: Music: blowdryer

blehhh i havent written in 2 weeks and im SORRRYYY! lmao well last weekend i had a madd hot party with hannah, jo, sarah, and myselff at hannah's house and it was really hot! lmao johanna was crying like 9 million times during the notebook and sarah and i looked at eachother and start BUSTING OUT LAUGHING! lmfao and johanna took it really personally and started like cussing me out and it was the fucking funniest thing.. i could not even CONTROL myself! lmao loves it. oh and that day danielle elbowed me in the nose and it started bleeding so i did it back and we got in a big fight and it was mad hot but we're ok now. yeahh and then monday was valentines day and it sucked my balls a little. soo cory got me a bouget (sp?) of white roses but some chicks stole them so i only got one (: so sweet! yeah and then he got my chocolates too and never even gave them too me.. it was hot. and he told johanna and everyone that he was gonna try to get me to BE WITH HIM and so he didnt even do that. my hopes were all up and then it just sucked my balls - so i walked around after school with the girls and it made me feel better. yeah and so the next day he walked with me out to the buses and asked me to be his bitch and i said yes and jumped on him and then i went and walked around with the chicks after school again and it was mad hot. so then it basically went to shit when i got home and dylan IMed me and was like "yeah so if youre gonna go out with cory then there is some things i think you should know" and so i found out all this stuff like cory called me a whore and said i would do anything with guys at parties and that he was gonna knock me up at my party and he still had some girlfriend somewhere? it was hot? so i was just like wtf is going onn? and dylan sent me all these convos of cory like cussing dylan out and telling him to not fuck with him and me and it was just gay and dramatic and so i told him that i thought we should hold off on it for a while and then as usual he took it really bad and it was just gay but i have to go jump in the shower cause i think im going somewhere with wyatt and miles so ill write back later about my mad hot, stressful rave.

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 13 February :: 10.07 pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: good vibrations


Ultimate Highschool Quiz
Favorite color
Favorite type of music
Dorks are..
Sporks are..
Your classmates think you are.. a Geek
You will graduate at age 18. TRUE
Will you get laid in highschool? (8) - Most likely. - (8)
What percentage of the student body hates you? - 16%
Largest amount of cash offered to you for sex $317.56
This quiz by imabigburrito13 - Taken 326563 Times.
New - How do you get a guy to like you?

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 6 February :: 8.44 pm
:: Mood: cold

BILL! (Snake Charmer)

You're Bill! I love you! Anyways, you're skilled in the art of manipulation. You're very strong, talented, powerful, and witty. You don't seem to have any real sense of morality, and you only let your kindness show around a select handful of people (mostly Kiddo and B.B). You do have some regret for the horrible things you've done, but won't let it interefere with your life. You respect your opponents, and you generally believe in fair game.

Kill Bill: Which Deadly Viper Assassin Are You? (Vol. II spoilers... results with pics)

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 31 January :: 8.33 pm
:: Mood: agressive
:: Music: megalomaniac

i swear to god. im not going to fucking apologize and be the one to cave cause its just fucking rediculous. cory has gone on another one of his little DILEMMAS! FUCKING AGAIN! SUPRISE! jesus christ that boy has more emotions than a room full of menopausals. seriously. ok well im pretty sure i already wrote about him flippin out about the whole nick thing and so he like basically stopped talking to me and its retarded as anything! so i just let him go on his little tantrum and not talk to me but as i had time to think about it during the day.. WTF! ok for one thing, i can't help who i have feeling for - no one can. its not anyones fault. like im sorry that i dont want to get in his pants but i love him as a friend and im sorry but i cant do anything about the fact that i dont have feelings for him! and jenny was talking to me today about how he really really likes me and stuff and is really upset and i dont want to hurt his feelings like.. at all but i feel like im always the one who has to make things better with him. i mean i dont want to feel like everytime he has a problem i have to rush to his side and pick him up off the ground, you know? and then i mean, if he cares so much about me, why doesnt he atleast want to be friends? and if he cares so much why doesnt he care to try to make things better with me? i mean isnt being friends better than not associating with me at all? I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS CHILD! im just really confused and kind of upset that i think a lot of these questions are never gonna get answered. i mean i have a lot of friends that care about me and i know that they would work things out with me instead of being an arrogant ass and acting like ive been demoted to dumpster hoe and im not worthy of his time. i dont get it. i would rather just have this put to an end then to just have him be an ass over and over because personally, i mean i dont feel like wasting my time on him if these is a repeated thing, cause if it is then why the hell would i spend time on a guy whos just gonna continue to piss the HELL out of me every other day and doesnt care enough to try to take time to work things out with me. and not only that but a guy whos too selfish to think about anyone else around him. ugh, i dont want to spend anymore time talking about this..


well i missed friday and i was too lazy to get any of my work.. hooray for me. g'day

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 30 January :: 7.46 pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: shes on fire

havent written
yeah whoops - i havent written since like wednesday or whatever but nothing has really been happening. yeahh so i got a C on my math exam (yess) and an A on my spanish exam. yeah and then i got sick on thursday so i didnt go to school friday and i spent most of the time just hangin out at home sleeping and what not. thenn saturday i did the same exact thing! just hung out at home cause i was tired and sick bleh. today is sunday and i woke up, hung out, watched tv, showered, hung out some more and then i went to pick up samm from work and then i came home and had dinner - now, once again, im just sitting here. still kinda sick. when we were at lucketts today, i found a hot bed frame that i want because its pretty awesome! like, i hate my bed frame because its ugly but it has these sidings on it so i always like hit my head or hand on the sidings and its annoying! to the max. so this one, is like vintage and i like the headboard and there is no foot board which i like because i am too long for my size bed and id rather have my feet hangin out the getting all tangled in the sidings. so i still have to get my ma to agree to buy it for my black ass! fuck. i just realized i didnt organize my spanish binder.. shit. oh well. i did some of it in resource so i think im pretty much set. whatever. my grandma was in the hospital? pff.

so today i talked to one of cory's random friends from warrenton, dylan. yeah. he's a fag and i like it. he was talkin a lot of shit about cory which was kind of weird but whatever. OH YEAH! so jenny IMed me and was just like talking to me and then she was like "yeah so who do you like?" and i was like "nick" so then like 20 seconds later cory IM's (blowing everything way out of preportion as always) and starts gettin all emotional about it and no we're not talking. pff whatever. like more than half of the reason i would never be able to put up with him is the fact that he needs like mood stabilizers. its really annoying. well whatever - later homies

give me your god damned lunch money

:: 2005 26 January :: 6.32 pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: i dont want to miss a thing

i love coke!
yesss today is a wednesday our TEACH WORK DAY so we have today off! sweet! yesterday, thankfully, was the last day of exams! haha i had english and science and they were both pretty easy so i think i did pretty good! whoops - i accidentally woke up at 2:30 so my whole day was so short :( wish i didnt do that! derek randomly text messaged me today asking me if jess wore the neckalce that he gave her and i was like uhh i have no idea, do you want me to find out? and he was like yeah would you, because i dont want it to sit there if shes not going to wear it. soo that was weird! haha i was just like "alright.." yeahh today sucks so far! im so bored. this is like the shortest most boring entry ever but whatever, you damn like it! well i just felt like updating so i will write you back tomorrow!

give me your god damned lunch money | Random Journal