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:: 2004 8 April :: 11.03 pm
:: Mood: amazed
:: Music: 4th Watch

o garshey kids. Im happy to be alive.
Friends help. if you dont have any friends Im most sorry but still friends help. Matt kosick Imed me a kid who I thought i would never talk to again. we've rampled on now about for quite some time just about dashboard. o man what a kid. the beach was everything possible.the weather was warm and perfect it had the perfect breeze (warm) and its just what you emagine a perfect Dashboard song listening conditions to be. I played door man on the beach. it was wacked. wiggidy wack? no just regular wack. ok go to and then go to teen girl squad i tihnk its in features. o man. great stuff. samantha fee is awsome. we've just become closer shes a cool cat well kids Im going to head. thanks for life. hooray for it

Say some merk...

:: 2004 7 April :: 11.56 pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: kimberly locke (the only song i like of her...8th world wonder...the chorus only aswell)

hey kiddos
well its been quite some time since Ive written in my little buddy. t-ha. anywho. so how is your spring break going or how did it go or how will it go in the future. Im in Mississippi, gulfport beach. its preatty awsomely cool. IM feelin a bit burnt though considering it was overcast and i didnt really think I was going to get a sunburn, but i did. so yes. tonight i went around and listened to guster. (good band chuck them out) and just shopped in souvenier shops. Samantha Fee was able to join me on this joyous vacation. ha...its been my dream to play door man on the beach and tomorow Im going to accomplish that dream (a guitar song by me and my friend....s'cuse me my friend and I....) Cort and Pat are good. cars is great. and Im feeling preatty phenomenal at the moment. or charlie and sam say (the perks of being a wallflower) well I hope all is well. you amaze me thanks for being my know if I dont have a stlaker I tihnk Im going to be disapointed....holy crap!!! (says strong bad.) o garshey me and samantha watched like eveyrtihng on the homestar site the other night. wow anywho. I trust all is well have a grand day.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 27 March :: 8.48 am
:: Mood: Happily Mellow
:: Music: damien rice

what a life....what a life
hey kids how are you. well I saw corty last night. wow what a kid. I really love her. like alot alot. she is amazing. Im really glad I got to see her also because I was feeling mighty negative twards her and seeing her made me relize how much i really love her. ha she confessed all of the "happenings" with Pat. ah man. shes so cute. she doesnt really like the fact though that Pat is becoming "hardcore" if you will. I mean she thinks that he is doing it just for her and i told her i agreed 111.9 % so you know. HA it was great she goes frankly i was nervouse in coming to see you. and I was like i know. I could tell as well as carly hinted slightly and I was all an to be quite frank back, I thought oyu had become a horcore whore (me and carsly figured out that those rhymed ha and we laughed alright back to corty) because of Pat. and she goes what? why? and I explained how i felt aobut her and pat. ouu fun fun. I asked her how she felt about the whole patty thing. she goes "well we are in to deep I cant stop now" ( *side note she means deep as in feelings not actions well somewhat but not that far dont worry) and i go hmmm if I were you i would feel slightly controled and whorish. she laughed. I said no seriously. but well yes she understood. (this was all is Gatlenburg mind you) On Thu was My birthday ah great great fun. I got this really cool lamp with 5 different spouts on in ( all different colors), a star necelace, a guitar stand, 5 picks, a chrod postor and book, a MaMas and the PaPas CD, tickets to go to a guitar seminar with this amazing kid in Nashville or something like that, 2 Jones sodas, (I got 3 others in gatlenburg, they dont have them out here in ol lil nashville... poo.) anywho. so ya and i think thats about it. Well I had a soccer game and we played against this select team. (boys) and the coach afterwords goes I like what I saw #17 whats your name o my name is blabla, ha and so then he goes I would like you to be on my select girls team.....Im not really sure about it though. I mean like dont get me wrong i would love to get my sklls up before trying out for HS, it wasnt hard last year, but ah i dont konw. I dont really want to get that seriouse. ah skrew it hahaha. ps. I slept with my Chuckers on last

Say some merk...

:: 2004 23 March :: 5.16 pm
:: Mood: mellow

hey kids. how are you. I am singing in our schools talent show on friday. Im singign with Sloan. Anyone ever seen mulan rouge? err....Im not very grand at spelling but yes. aynwho the song come what may, funfunfunf. How are you doing. in the time that I was away I had a DI competition and unfortunantly we are not going to state but you know life goes on. its alright. I was quite bummed about it when it happened. we are also getting our classes for next year. hooray hooray hooray. not too exited. I would really like to take an honers english but who knows. I am not ok with the whole corty patty thing. the reason being theyve gone a little too far and I just think that it needs to end. ok I take it back not end but ah i dont know. theyve gone to far and not too far as in she pregnant and has a kid but I mean garshey not even that far just beyond comfort zone if you will for the beholders. I miss the old patty. corty has changed him. for instance. he hated bright eveys beofre. he made fun of those who did enjoy thier music, now beuacse cort is obsessed with them he is. naturaly. and you know i really woludnt mind usualy so he changed styles nice, but it happened right after they became an item. but who am i to jude what they like and dislike or what they are and what they arent. Ill try to accept them for what they have become and relize that they once were my loves. they still are mind you but ah you know. corty fears that i have "changed" we are seeing eachother on sat in Gatlenburg and she told this to cars. ah cars is amzing. she makes everything alright. shes always there and if shes not her answering machine si always there. I love her. I love cort too. they are them and I love them ofr it. well I must be going to soccer. hooray for it. thanks fro always any questions you can e-miail or Im

Say some merk...

:: 2004 22 March :: 7.19 pm
:: Mood: satisfied

hello friends. well yes I relise I havbnt been on ofr quite some time. Ive been doing an internet fast, and i forgot to inform you. sorry if you've been stalking me. well I hope all is well. I cant really talk now, but I will come back on and let you know whats up in my life. Keep it real and have fun. I love you.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 26 February :: 1.31 pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: fire when ready

hello kiddo
that is a very good explination of how i feel. full. yes i feel full. very full. I am content. I believe i told you that yesterday but oyu know. ah this is very hard. Im acspecting Cars and cort to be on. but they arent. ha we had off school today for slush. phew watch out! its great great fun. today i have orgonized my room, got more boxes unpacked, phew that was exciting. and Im going to good will to shop for some amazing skirts. so yes. tonight i have indoor soccer. my last game. Im exicted Im getting sick of indoor. I love out door 100% better. we think (me and my marmy) i have athletic endouced asthma beaucse i start to caugh up blood and such when i work out or any of that grand stuff. today has been a good day. I talked to Cars and cort yesterday. they are funny. and cute mind you. ah corty and patty are "in love" and Im alright with it ive decied. I hope all is well. e-mail me please, or if you wish

Say some merk...

:: 2004 25 February :: 1.24 pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: match box twenty

well how might you be. today i had play practice. it was mighty fun. Im feeling alright about it all. although Jon (my old..."good friend thats a boy") got the lead in the play greese for our old high school. ah what a kid. and molly poor her she only got in chior (the chior for the play) she has been in more plays with Miss J than she can even remeber. ah molly. shes such a good friend, she might be coming down with my sisters friend Jesse (a guy...a good guy friend but nothing more.) She is going on her first date a week from friday, and shes turning 16 a week from tomorow. wow. thats way to old for my sister. Im glad shes not moving out or anything. phew. that would be too much. Well. all is fine. I am content with what and where and who i am. Im content with where Im living. Im content with what i am living for and all of that. Cars and Cort are giving up the internet for 40 days starting today for their bible study class. ah they are so strong. they amaze me. I love them. well I hope all is well and let me know if i can do anytihng. t-haha your amazing.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 22 February :: 1.19 pm
:: Mood: optimistic
:: Music: Jason Mraz

how amazing Fridays are. today i didnt really do anything at all. I had some quality family time. it was quite nice. my neices are very cute. I have quite a few of them but only 2 of them live in TN. How are you doing? have you ever heard of OAR, they are an amazinf band. ah they are so cool. well yes. and bright eyes are amazing also. I hope all is well. i would explain how i feel and such but all i really feel is safe, and from the world i guess im trying to get at. have a grand day and tell oyur mother or father you love them. they deserve atleast that.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 18 February :: 1.18 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: counting crows

sweet mother

Hi. How are you doing? I went to play practice for the 2nd time and it was alright. I couldn’t say it was the best because Fiddler on the roof play practice was the best but I guess ill just get used to it. Andrews being all ouu I’m in front of a crown so lets show off ish and its bugging the crap out of me, but Ill get over it. Ah tonight I went to church/ youth group, I had an all right time. I love the girls at my church they make me feel so welcome and they make me feel like being me. School…. Ah it’s all right. It was a little disheartening though because it felt like the exact day of one of my favorite Memories Lake Huntsman. Ah it’s a memory where we (me and Cort) (when I still lived in Ohio mind you) went over to carsly’s house and she has a random lake at her house well really a pond I would say and around oct.ish we went rowing in her boat, drank Jones soda, and listened to #6 (AKA chasing the ghosts…. dashboard confessional. A mark a mission a brand a scar blabla.) and burnt rose incense. Ah it was magic. But that’s alright. I’m content with the memories I do have. How are you? Let me know. E-mail me if you wish or whatever pleases you. You are amazing. Thank you for taking time to read this. I honestly hope your day was good. I don’t like it when people have depressing days, all though they are sometimes fun mind you…ha not too many in a row though, then it just gets…ah you know grotesque if you will ha grotesque ah I don’t know what I’m talking about. Any way. I hope all is well.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 16 February :: 1.17 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: long since forgotten


Thank you Presidents of the United States. Hooray for Presidents Day. If any of you know anything about Presidents day please let me know about it or why we celebrate it…. I’m very curious why schools all of the U.S. would get off of school. Today I have done about 3 things. Very relaxing let me tell you. Got up, ah no one was home it was enchanting, wrote carly an on going note, and ate some honey cheerios, did my SS project on Nat King Cole. He led a very interesting life. He dies in 1965 though of lung cancer because he smoked so much, so don’t smoke. You can if you wish but you know. I have been listening to Long since forgotten for 2 days straight ah its marvelous. Did you know that after you type a word like good or something you write it then press shirt f7 it takes you to the thesaurus! It’s wondrous. Well on Microsoft word I guess. I found that out while writing cars. Well enough magic for today, then I talked to Cars, then I talked to my sister that lives in Utah, and she told me all about how her stomach is freakishly tight and she cant really bend down at all because of the pregnancy…its all very cute. Then she raved on and on about how cute her husband was and what he did for her on Valentines Day and I just sat there…. Just sat there in a good way. I just marveled at the love some one could possibly have for someone who has hurt them so much, such as the opposite sex hurts the other. Like how much she (my sister) has gotten “hurt” by boys, and now finally after high school and all of that fun stuff she has found “Mr. Right” ha but you know. I don’t know its very interesting to think about. Try it. Well. My day has been very good and sunny and warm. Although it snowed/ flurried yesterday. But you know. I have piano right now so I must be going. I hope all is well. Let me know if I can help with anything. You rock my face off. Cars and Cort have finally bought The perks of being a Wallflower. Ah the love. They finished it in the time that I did. We have al decided its very very addicting. Thank you Laura for suggesting. Read it then spread the love she once said…ha bye kids. Hooray for it all.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 14 February :: 1.17 pm
:: Music: long sice forgotten


Ah the day that so many Americans “adore” ha. Well I must admit I did something today. Sorry I was lying (sp.) ah I’m listening to long since forgotten. I met them tonight! I also met Fire When Ready. Ah they are so cool. All of them. All right Low Down on what I did today. (By the way I’m very fond of this online Journal, I keep a journal like in writing but its not nearly as exciting as typing it all out. Ha Andy you’re awesome. I praise you for setting this up. Thank you) went and played soccer for four hours with kids from my church and like young adults, and some kids from my sister and my’s school. (I have no idea how to do all those possessive things…ha) ah I’m very sore. and it was very muddy and so we were all falling and it was great fun let me tell you (ha seriously though it was a lot of fun). And then I went home took a shower…a very long one that is. And I love it how today I didn’t think about any one but carly. I didn’t think about a long lost boy that I left behind in my many states, I didn’t think about any one but the people I was with, and believe me it felt good, it was like a whole kind of pain and loveliness was lifted from my being, and my character. In a god way mind you…ah it was great. So then I went over to Samantha’s house and we went to rocket Town with her brother her and me. (I guess that was kind of self-explanatory but you known.) Rocket town is like, ah well here Ill explain. Ok so you enter on the first floor and its like a café that local acoustic guitar players play, and then you go down one level and its like dark and lighting is all concertish and its like a small local band place, where those kind of bands play. (That’s where I met long since forgotten and fire when ready…) and then on the next floor down there’s a HUGE skate park, then one more floor down there is a big concert hall like for “well-known” bands if you will. Like AFI has played there and Switch Foot and I really don’t know of any others but you know. So I was mainly on the 2nd floor down and such just listening to the local bands, and I met them all and phew their CDs are awesome. Go to their web sights they are just and then great stuff let me tell you. Caleb is the lead guitar for long since forgotten and Justin or something for fire when ready, cool kids let me tell you. Well yes I had a great time there. Seriously a really fun time, it was awesome. Go there if you live in TN e-mail me if you would like directions. Well I better go its quite late at night. Have a grand Sunday. I hope your Valentines Day was the best even. I truly do. You’re amazing for reading this. It makes me feel better to know that you read it. Thanks kids. Your amazing for all that you do. Hooray for life…live and never forget the music

By the way I wrote this the other day and Ive decided that I like it.

-Go find a passion. A passion for music that is. Weather it be Dashboard, Blink 182, Bright Eyes, Enriquea Englaciouse, George Straight, or Fifty-Cent. Just as long as it is real, just as long as you are not fake about for obsession, Just as long as you like a band just to get along with someone or just to impress him or her…Don’t “love” the music just to love something. Music deserves more than that. Don’t take music for granted. Don’t Ever take it for granted. It’s a phenomenal thing! If the Music was gone, people wouldn’t have things to argue about, people wouldn’t have anything to talk about, and people wouldn’t have anything to live for, life its self would be pointless. We praise god through music. We live through music, and we do everything for music. So by the way, music is pretty super superb. –

*Side note…out of the bands I mentioned at the beginning I like 2 of them. Dashboard and Bright Eyes, I despise new age rap, dislike country…I can handle some of it but not much, blink 182 needs to understand that they need to get talent and stop singing like girls and sing through their throat and not their nose. I’m not putting them down just giving them suggestions. Well again I hope all is well. Good night.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 13 February :: 1.14 pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: dashboard confessional

Gr…Poo on life. I am Audrey in the school play. I’m the city folk’s mom. Here’s the story line of the play. There are people from the city who loose their home and then they move to the country with their cousins who are completely hicks, and then they get along and the hicks are so dumb they sell their own house and on top of that me and my daughter Hate the country so we want to go back to the city, so we save the day and help them get back their house and by doing that we get our house back and all of our money. So then all of these people are getting married at the end and its disgusting because it’s like cousins marrying cousins. AH! Pretty scary if you ask me but I do live in Tennessee. So what can I accept? Ugh I don’t know it just seems like such an immature play. Last year in Ohio I did Fiddler on the Roof and there was a real script and real characters that had meaning. And I just ah I don’t know. Nothing can be quite as good as Ohio or Colorado or Pennsylvania. (Previous places where Ive lived.) Well today they celebrated Valentines Day at my school, ugh all of the candy and roses and balloons and greetings and such made me sick. I was depressed for no reason. And it makes me angry that some people probably thought I was “depressed” because I didn’t have a honey bun and I couldn’t care less, and that is not what was wrong. I missed Cars like a mother chuck friend. Ah I don’t know I didn’t get to talk to her yesterday because I had indoor soccer. That was fun though. Well tomorrow I am doing nothing. Exciting if you ask me. I’m actually happy that I’m not doing anything. Well I will let you know of my non-existent day tomorrow. I hope all is well. And if you enjoy Valentines Day don’t let me get your spirit down, you stand up for what you believe in…seriously don’t take what I said into ponderage. You’re cool, and don’t let any one else tell you different. Have a grand day.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 11 February :: 1.12 pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: dave mathews

wa hoo!

Hi, sorry I haven’t written in quite along time. I haven’t had a computer. And my Internet had been skewed up and not hooked up. Anywho. How have you been? Today is all right. I am happy today. For no reason though. I’m very happy. Ive decided one thing, and think this is what is making me happy. I’m ok with Corty and Patty. I’m delighted with them infact. I am not however delighted about their actions as in how they show their affection. Although I still cant open my planner completely. I despise Valentines Day. Ugh I think it’s a commercial waste of money, and every one that is single is like I hate Valentines Day too! Blabla, but that isn’t even kind of the reason I don’t like Valentines Day. I think that there is no reason the Middle Schoolers/ High schoolers even need to celebrate it. Married couples, alright I’m 100% ok with that, but when a stupid Jr. high kid gives a dinky little rose to his girl friend that he going out with (side note to take into consideration…. when you are going out in middle school, Where Do You Go?! Seriously, does your mommy take you to the park? And if she does, ah skrew it.) Ah it all just makes me barf. Well I must be going now. I hope your Wednesday was as lovely and thoughtful as mine was. I find out what I made in the school play tomorrow…hooray I’m so excited…

Say some merk...

:: 2004 10 February :: 9.58 am
:: Mood: angry...
:: Music: dashboard

ok kids....things with patty and corty are getting "better" but the way that he did that to so many girls makes me sick...i mean who am i to judge, and the way they talk to eachother its like they are not even being them selves or they are completely and i dont know either of them. he hasnt talked to me in cxomputer is down so i have to do this a schol and my period is about o end...i just had to explress my feelings. Im so angry and I feel betrayed and just.....ah i dont konw i love molly dee so much I miss her. she might come down here for my sisters birthday...ah i love her. and cars what a life saver...I love cort with a passion do not get me wrong.....I could never let her go...but ugh. i dont know. skrew it all. hooray for death...I think on my toumb (spelling) stone i want skrew it all. yes skrew with a K not a c i like the k way better. welll kids thanks for just listening. I love you all....please contact me if you need to just talk...i dont even have to know you. just talk.

Say some merk...

:: 2004 5 February :: 11.56 am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: coldpaly- inmy place, yellow, ect.

wow, the life she leads...
Alrght, the reasons Im disapointed, well my friend did someting the other nigt with my other friend, and it made me...ashamed i guess, but i dont know. Im ok with them being them, Im really ok with that. but the fact that they went that far (not sex or anything even close to that...) just kindof makes me 99% bitter teards them. I know its her choice i really know that, and this seems like a stupid soap opera and it probably is, but, ah i dont know. Well life other than that s calming, we got out of school early today becasue od rain... ha ya rain, they had fear of "flooding" wo it was great. I came home, played my guitar, and listened to some howie day, jason mraz, john mayer, and dave mathews, i elt very alternative was calming. horay for life. live it to the fulest. its amazing what one leads their life as.....skrew it all (in a good way mind you)

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