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jezebel in hell

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:: 2005 17 March :: 12.08 am

1. First and middle name?
-teresa marie

2. Were you named after anyone?
-st.terese of the little flower, or something like that

3. Do you wish on stars?
-sadly, yes

4. When did you last cry?

5. Do you like your handwriting?
-my handwriting has multiple personalities

6. What is your favorite lunch meat?
-does dick count?

7. Where were you born?
-a lil ol bankrupt city called buffalo

8. What is your most embarrassing CD?
-ummm... i dunno, that depends on who i am talking to... like if i am talking to some old lady (mary dell) i can see my lords of acid cd being pretty embarassing, but if i was talking with some big biker chick/dude, (because i do that so often!) then i would have to say my paula abduls greatest hits album

9. Do you have a journal?
-yes ma'am i do

10. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
-ummmm, probably too much

11. Would you bungee jump?
-nope never

12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
boots, yes. sneakers, no. shoes, no.

13. Do you think that you are strong?
-physically... no. mentally... absolutely not

14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
-mmmmm.... cookies and cream...*drools*

15. Ice cream or kissing?
-ummm... ice cream!!!

16. Red or pink?

17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
-letting my emotions get the better of me in certain situations

18. Last person you had dinner with?
-3 of my fellow employees at work... james, adam and vanessa

19. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back?
-does it really matter?

20. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
-*blushes*, i am not... i am in a large night shirt and socks that have holes in them.

21. What are you listening to right now?
-i think i can hear mike snoring in the next room over.

22. Last thing you ate?
-a chewable multi-vitamin

23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
-i have absolutely NO idea!

24. What is the weather like right now?
-cold and damp

25. Last person you talked to on the phone?
-molly from eastview... i had to ask her a question about closing the store.

26. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

27. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
-DUH!!! using the word 'like' is an understatement!!!

28. Favorite (non-alcoholic) Drink?
-ice water lately

29. Favorite Sport?
-hockey, (even though the sabres are greedy fucks and there was a lockout this season.

30. Hair Color?
-dark brown

31. Eye Color?
-dark brown

32. Do you wear contacts?

33. Favorite Food?
-red meat

34. Last Movie You Watched?
-saw... (we bought it and i finally got mike to watch it! it had been sitting in our shelf for almost a month now!!!)

35. Favorite Day of the Year?
-ummm... any with you?

36. Scary Movies or Happy Endings or Unexpected Ending?
-scary movies all the way baby!!!

37. Summer Or Winter?

38. Hugs OR Kisses?

39. Whats your favorite dessert?
-ummm, oreo cookies?

40. Last concert you've seen?
-projekt revolution tour with korn, snoop dogg, and linkon park

41. What Books Are You Reading? And it's about...??
-'watchers' from dean koontz, and it is about a strange intelligent dog

42. What's On Your Mouse Pad?

43. What Did You Watch Last night on TV?
-crossing jordan

44. Favorite Smells?
-home baked cookies, or fresh ground coffee in the morning

45. Favorite Sounds?

46. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
-hey jude, i prefer the beatles

47. Furthest been from home?

48. Do you have a special talent?
-i am a people person... believe it or not!!!

49. What is your ringtone?
-ummm, a telephone ringing, duh!

50. Are you gonna repost this for other people to do?

51. Best friend(s)?
that goes with out saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2005 21 February :: 2.54 pm
:: Mood: blank

*deep sigh*

tell me lies...

:: 2005 10 February :: 7.11 pm

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Be kinky more often.

Get your resolution here.

tell me lies...

:: 2005 6 January :: 2.29 pm
:: Mood: confused

i hate family... i hate lyn... i hate nan... i hate how they make me feel... i hate how i can't get rid of them... i hate how they are condescending to me and as if i don't know anything, and i hate that they knew how i used to be and that they assume that i still am, and i fucking hate them both, and i just wish that they would die, or at the very least, get the fuck out of my life and stay out!!! fucking greedy little fucking CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tell me lies...

:: 2004 26 October :: 10.48 pm
:: Mood: melancholy

i am not really sure what to say...
men suck...
but i think you already knew that...
(it's just that you are smarter and not married.)
(it is easier to "break up" then to go through a nasty "divorce")
*sigh*... didn't i already say that? wait...
*exhales deeply*... yeah, much better.
well... i am by NO MEANS an expert on the male species, (i mean, don't get me wrong, i have had my fair share, BUT that still doesn't mean that i can figure them out any more then you can!), but maybe if you discussed the situation with the doc' and see what he/she says. (is it a he or a she?)
i am inclined to say that maybe not talking with that boy may be better for your sanity... i won't say emotional state because you are a very strong woman and i do not want to insult you... i know that i personally would crawl into the fetal position and cry for days... but that is just me...
for the longest time, i had stored in my "saved incoming mail file" an email that you had sent to me after derek and i broke up, (THANK GOD WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but anyways, i guess after i married mike, i must have deleted it, and i am mad because i know that it would make you chuckle like it did me... one thing on that email entiled "things to do after a break up" was *eat a pint of ben and jerry's ice cream*
i know that made me feel better,... and hey, you can afford to put on 3 pounds anyways, (because when you come to bflo to visit this winter and i tie you up and keep you in my closet, it may get kinda chilly in there... but don't worry, we will let you out to play once a week...)
ummm, sorry... my sense of humor is obviously just a TAD fucked up...

moral of the story:

eat ice cream and visit buffalo (clarence) often!=D

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 20 October :: 10.06 am
:: Music: breaking benjamin

"crowded streets are cleared away, one by one, heroes seperate as they run, you're so cold, keep your hand in mine. wise men wonder while strong men die."
"show me how it ends it's alright. show me how defenseless you really are. satisfied and empty inside, that's alright let's give this another try"
"if you find your family, don't you cry. in this land of make believe, dead and dry. you're so cold but you feel alive, lay your hands on me one last time."

tell me lies...

:: 2004 20 October :: 9.58 am
:: Music: sarah

"morning smiles like the face of a newborn child, innocent, unknowing. winters end, promises of a long lost friend, speaks to me of comfort."
"but i fear i have nothing to give, i have so much to lose here in this lonely place, tangled up in our embrace, there's nothing i'd like better then to fall. but i fear i have nothing to give"

tell me lies...

:: 2004 28 September :: 2.40 pm

How to make a clarencechica

3 parts friendliness

5 parts brilliance

3 parts instinct
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of lustfulness and a pinch of salt. Yum!

:: 2004 19 September :: 8.00 pm
:: Mood: sad

i hate my life...
i hate being depressed...
i hate crying...
i hate sadness...
i hate... myself...

no this isn't a stupid little fucking suicidal threat, or a cry for help or any of that shit, i just fucking hate it... i hate it all...

1 sweet little lie | tell me lies...

:: 2004 15 September :: 12.01 pm


x. Slept in your bed: mike.
x. Saw you cry: me.
x. Made you cry: mike.
x. You shared a drink with: mike.
x. You went to the movies with: mike.
x. You went to the mall with: mike.
x. Yelled at you: mike.
x. Sent you an e-mail: jess.


x. Said "I love you" and meant it?: yes.
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: yeah, and he kicked my ass.
x. Been to California: no.
x. Been to Hawaii: no.
x. Been to Mexico: no.
x. Been to China: no.
x. Been to Cuba: no.
x. Danced naked:i don't think i ever have.
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: never, thank god my dreams don't come true!!!
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: um, no.
x. Had an imaginary friend: i don't think so, but i can't remember.


x. Do you have a crush on someone: christian slater.
x. What book(s) are you reading now: "being dead" by vivian van velde.
x. Worst feeling in the world: being away from my best friend.
x. Future son's name: N/A.
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: of course i do... lobster.
x. What's under your bed: mikes junk.
x. Favorite sports to watch: i don't watch sports.
x. Siblings: 1 full bro, 2 half sis, and 1 half bro.
x. Location: clarence.
x. College plans: for now... i am done... until i can figure out what the fuck i want to do.
x. Piercings/tattoos: yes/yes.
x. Boyfriend/girlfriend: nope, husband.


x. Do you do drugs: i have in the past but do not currently.
x. Do you drink: yes.
x. Who is your best friend: jesseeeca.
x. What are you most scared of: losing my mom before i am ready to lose her.
x. What clothes do you sleep in: i don't.
x. Where do you want to get married: too late... vegas.
x. Who do you really hate: jay.
x. Do you drive: yes.
x. Do you have a job: yes.
x. Do you like being around people: yes and no.
x. Are you for world peace: it will never happen.


x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes.
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: oh my god yeah!
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: i don't think so, not anymore at least.
x. Want someone you don't have right now: no, mikey is all i need... well, and jess too but not sexually.
x. Are you lonely right now: sort of.
x. Song thats stuck in your head a lot: oscar mayer wiener song.
x. Do you want to get married: too late.
x. Do you want kids: hell no.


x. Room in house: i don't have one.
x. Type(s) of music: female rock, nineties alternative.
x. Band(s): sarah mclachlan.
x. Color(s): gray.
x. Perfume or cologne: tommy girl or clinique happy heart.
x. Month: april.
x. Stone: huh?


x. Cried: yes.
x. Bought something: no.
x. Gotten sick: no.
x. Sang: yes.
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes, and i did.
x. Met someone new: yes.
x. Missed someone: i always do.
x. Hugged someone: yes.

tell me lies...

:: 2004 17 August :: 2.47 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

pros and cons
well, i have started starbux... and i am working days... like i asked, BUT... now, am i happy i am working all days or would it have been better if i was working MAYBE a night or two?i don't know because like yesterday (and a lot of days), when i am with mike he just gets all pissy and mad at me for stupid shit...
now, i used to think that we were fighting more because we weren't seeing enough of each other, like me always working nites, etc... but i don't know... i guess i am just going to have to find out right?
well, he is going to be home soon, so i better get off the computer so he doesn't think i have been on it all afternoon, even though i haven't been, i can picture him coming home and being all like "wtf? how come this isn't done? and that isn't cleaned?" blah blah blah, etc...
damn, i feel like a fuckin' little kid that is trying to sneak in a cigarette when my parents aren't looking!!
oh yeah, and we went to the SPCA yesterday and now I WANT A DOG EVEN WORSE THEN BEFORE!!! we went to get approved for when we go in the late winter/ early spring to get one, (or two, but i doubt that will fly well with mikey and mary dell!)
ok, bye again!
oh, yeah, (i know, i know, just one more thing!)... how sad is it that yesterday was august 16 and it was the FIRST time i went swimming this year?!?!?!?pretty sad huh? well, today it is a really warm day and HOPEFULLY, (cross my fingers and toes...) if mikey doesn't have any chores for me/us to do, then maybe we can go swimming today too... but... somehow i doubt that that is gonna happen... damn it, i fuckin' hate this shit, i feel like i am fucking grounded from having any fun!!!
ggggrrrrr.... ok, bye, (i swear this time!)

tell me lies...

:: 2004 15 August :: 9.17 pm
:: Mood: weird

well, today was my last day at applebees, and my last day working THREE jobs... so now i need to call starbux to get my schedule for next week... and alas, i will have but ONE job again, (thank christ!!)
mike is still gone, he should be coming back tonight, but honestly, it doesn't seem like he was gone long enough, is that bad to say? no, i don't think so, because i NEVER get to spend time with mary dell, and with me working so much this weekend, i STILL didn't spend any time with her, and now that my jobs are done, and i would have a spare minute, the warden, i mean, mike is coming home, and if i don't have to work tomorrow, i KNOW we will be working outside all day because he has off from work, and NOOOO, he wouldn't want to REST for a day and just hang out with me... of course not! hanging out with me IS working outside... him telling me what to do and all that bullshit!
*sigh* ya know?... i do love him, but he really needs to lighten up and just fucking chill for once!!!
so leaving applebees was kewl because the people that i am going to ,iss, i specifically said goodbye to and the ones that i will be happy to be away from, i specifically DIDN"T say anything to them but i sure as hell made sure they heard me saying goodbye to the others! the cooks i am going to miss, they were all pretty cool, like they all had a really good attitude, at least towards me, but that is because i wasnta bitch to them like most of the servers are. and i will miss them.
ok, i am going to go now, because i feel like if mike comes home now and i am on the computer that he will be like, "why isn't this done?" or "how come you are relaxing, don't you know that the grout in between all the tiles needs to be polished and scrubbed?" or somethin' like that... so bye, have a good night, i know i probably won't =(

tell me lies...

:: 2004 10 August :: 11.53 pm

ok, my schedule for this week...

Monday: work applebees 10am-4pm, and the work starbucks 5pm-1030pm

Tuesday: work leggios 11am-1030pm

Wednesday: work applebees 11am-4pm and then (oh my gawd, i have a night free!!!)

Thursday: work leggios 11am-10pm

Friday: work applebees 11am-4pm and work starbucks 5pm-10pm

Saturday: work at HOME cleaning the fucking house "TOP TO BOTTOM" as per mikes orders, and then go to applebees from 430pm-1030pm

Sunday: work applebees 10am-7pm ish, not sure...

OH, and i forgot, SOMEWHERE in there i am gonna have to find some time to mow the lawn too... nice huh?

well, mike is going to be out of town from thursday night until late sunday night and i really don't think he understands that there just aren't enough goddamned hours in the fucking day to do everything he wants me to and still do it to his satisfaction and expectations!!!


now, he is going to be off and playing with his dad at the races in watkins glen for 3 whole fucking days and this whole week, i have barely enough time to fucking squeeze in 5 hours of sleep a night!!!

when he went to bed, and i came in here, he said, "what are you doing?" i said that i was on the computer and checking my email, and do you know what he said? he said "you could start the cleaning now" and i responded with an "i would love to but i am REALLY not in the cleaning mood right now after being on my feet waitressing for 11 and a 1/2 hours, but thanks anyways, i will keep it in mind"


he makes me so fucking mad. does he not realize that i am working THREE fucking jobs this week? does he not realize that i BUST MY ASS? does he not fucking give a shit?!?!?!?!

ok, i am done, i need to try to calm down, and get SOME sleep because i need to get up at 5am to fucking get his ass out of bed... now i know why i don't want kids... 'cause i know what it is like with him... it is like trying to get him up for school... why can't he hear the alarm for once? why can't he get up to turn it off for once?

i will never know the answer...

tell me lies...

:: 2004 4 August :: 10.44 am

i don't know... well... i put my two weeks into both jobs, b/c i got the starbucks job... they are going to train me as a shift supervisor... am i taking on too much? i mean... this is going to be NOTHING like coffee bay... i WILL be making more $ than i am now, and i WILL be working better hours, but am i going to be just as stressed, if not more? i must keep asking myself this one... can i do it? i don't know... i don't want to start to fly and then fall only to make a large divot in the earth... (ok, so that is a weird analogy, but does it get the point across?)

the $10, 000 question is...

can teresa do it?

tell me lies...

:: 2004 28 July :: 4.35 pm
:: Mood: irritated

i am sick and tired of working my ass off for nothing! i got stiffed on 3 god damn tables today! 3! not one or two, but 3! don't people know that waitresses only fucking make $3.30 an hour and that we fucking rely on their tips to pay our bills, to buy our food, to put gas in our cars?!?!?!? do they know that?! no! all they fucking care about is themselves! if i was rude, fine, tip me poorly, but when i kiss ass, and get shit on my lips from it, i get pissed! by the last table today, i had just about had it! my sales were 250.00 and my tips were 25.00, that is fucking 10%, and then on top of that, i have to tip out the bartender 2% of my sales! well, that fucking 2% hurts!


death to all poor tippers!

tell me lies... | Random Journal