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...And then she slit her throat on stained glass

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:: 2004 17 April :: 1.23 pm

Brandon was missing this morning. He had saturday school and when his mom went to get him, she couldn't find him anywhere.
Turns out, there WAS no saturday school so he had to walk all the way home.

I even had a dream about him walking home from somewhere and he took bluebonnet road.
When I called to see if they found him, they said "Yes, we did ... he took bluebonnet and walked home"

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 17 April :: 2.35 am

First of all, I have GOT to get that damn 2 dollars in.
Second of all, here I am thinking andrew is gonna be home in 7 days when REALLY he's only been gone for 2.
I feel all alone...
And I'm so confused and I have nobody.

I called brandon not too long ago and andy said "he's asleep" and hung up.
Fucking dick head...

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 17 April :: 12.26 am

Taylor has "=) Hello Jerry" written on his ass ....
And "Goodbye Jerry" written on his stomach.
GOD Andrew, are you missing out.
*sends more hugs to California*

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 16 April :: 8.16 pm

I miss Andrew.

I've been horrible today. Mood swings from hell.

Once again, JERRY AND LIZ ARE FUCKING ... so I'm getting really irritated.

People piss me off...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 16 April :: 6.06 pm

Fuck ALL this shit

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 15 April :: 8.32 pm

This is fucking pathetic. I feel horrible for taking that money. It shall be put back and the stuff it was getting spent on is just gonna have to wait.


Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 15 April :: 8.19 pm

Took 20 dollars from Mom and Jeff's pouch thingy. Of course it's JEFF's money but Mom uses it too so I feel pretty shitty.
All I have to do is put it back ...
It's all wrinkled up now though so Jeff will know somebody had gotten ahold of it. EH. *sigh*
I feel so freakin' stupid.
I wouldn't feel so bad if it wasn't Mom's money too ...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 14 April :: 11.28 pm

Brandon and I worked on our "homemade skateboard" today ...
The wood burner thingy we used made us stink. Eh.
Shower time is coming soon.
Andrew is leaving me for 12 days =(
God, this is gonna SUCK.

I'm hungry...

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 14 April :: 12.53 pm

I had the weirdest fucking dreams last night.
I'm just gonna go over them really quick.

There's this guy that I met at the APC concert and he was in my dream. This other guy let me use this really awesome guitar of his and me and the apc guy played together and stuff. Then, there was this HUGE fire that went on for like, miles and miles. The guy that owned the guitar ran, so I had his guitar with me through the whole dream.
Every now and then, there were huge explosions and the fire would come up to our house and then go back to where it was.
*Fast forward into the dream*
Then, these guys pulled up in the driveway in this big huge black suburban thing and they tried to steal our dog, Missy. I kept telling them to leave the dogs alone and they wouldn't. So I screamed for Jeff to come out there and everything and he said he wasn't gonna mess with it cause he was gonna be late for work. X_X I went inside and grabbed Jeff's gun. When I walked back outside, there was a girl and they were singing these songs and stuff about raping her and doing all this stuff to her. After about 30 minutes of them sexually harrassing her, I grabbed the gun and shot one of the guys in the head. I stood over him after I shot him. Then, he opened his eyes and got back up.
And Jeff sat there watching the whole thing and didn't do anything about it.

The end. =P

Andrew should really come online.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 13 April :: 11.04 pm

Oh yes ... I talked to Brad today =)
Hehe. He's doing good. I saw a picture of his girlfriend Kashley. She's beautiful. He did very well =)
I miss him a whole bunch ... I'm glad we're still close though.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 13 April :: 11.00 pm

*sigh* The andrew isn't here and I haven't talked to pixie in a while.

I think I have a bladder infection. Eh. If I have to live with this shit for the rest of my life, I might as well go ahead and go through with suicide now.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 13 April :: 12.14 am

Went to the Brandon's house.
We went skateboarding and I busted my ass. It was totally classic. The board came out from underneath me and i hit my leg and my elbow on the concrete. It hurt so bad. It was great though.

Pretty good day AND I have cigarettes!

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 12 April :: 12.53 pm

The Mom is giving me 2 dollars so I can keep my journal because I don't have 2 dollars =)

I discovered something interesting this morning. Mine and Andrew's mommies know eachother.
Yay for that.

Some fuck head on yahoo is stalking me.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 11 April :: 11.17 pm

"It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others."
I went outside and sat with the dog.
She was cold and her blanket was all wet.
I sat down with her and tried to get her to go to sleep but she wouldn't.
When I went in, she chased after me as far as her leash would go. Then, she stared at me and whimpered until I went in.

Makes me kinda think.
I know how it feels to be alone all the time. Or even FEEL alone all the time even when there's people around you.
And then, you chase after the only someone that you have left until you're stopped by something that won't let you chase them any farther.
...And you wait for them to come back...
Knowing they never will.

I think I'll sleep out there with her tonight so she's not alone.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 11 April :: 10.56 pm

So many things are on my mind. I try to explain one thing, and everything else just starts flooding in.
It's like a fucking freak slide-show.
I have to call Brandon soon.
Eh... I don't even want to hear anybody's voice.
I want to talk to ONE person and I want everybody else to disappear for a couple days.

*...You fixed your hair for him*

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 11 April :: 10.26 pm

Result of boredom

Name: Kristen
Birthdate: November 3
Current Location: Texas .... eh.
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brownish ...
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Innie or Outtie: Innie.

Series Two - Describe
Your Heritage: German/Indian.... Shit, white?
The Shoes You Wore Today: um... the regular tennis shoes?
Your Hair: Couple inches past my shoulders.
Your Eyes: Um. Hm. Well, Green ... with a little yellowish/goldish in them, and um...A pupil.
Your Weakness: Sharp Objects
Your Fears: Falling, Drowning, other stuff.
Your Perfect Pizza: Don't eat much Pizza BUT I'd have to say ... Stuffed Crust Cheese Pizza.
One Thing You'd Like To Achieve: Life...

Series Three - What Is
Your Most Overused Phrase: "Dude", "Evil", "Whatever", "Shut up".
Your Thoughts First Waking Up: Wanting to kill Scooter for being the one that woke me up in the first place.
The First Feature You Notice In The Opposite Sex: Eyes and Hair =)
Your Best Physical Feature: Um... eyes?
Your Bedtime: Heh...
Your Greatest Accomplishment: My music. I guess....
Your Most Missed Memory: Being 4 ...

Series Four - You Prefer
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or Group Dates: Single. Groups are okay, I guess.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: LIPTON!
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino

Series Five - Do You
Smoke: EH.
Cuss: Mmhm.
Sing Well: Not particularly well ...
Have a Crush(es): No, Not a "crush"
Who are They: ---
Do You Think You've Been In Love: Mmhm.
Want To Go To College: Possibly.
Like High School: Fuck no.
Want To Get Married: Not sure.
Type w/ Your Fingers On The Right Keys: Yep.
Believe in Yourself: Nope.
Get Motion Sickness: No
Think You're Attractive: Nope
Think You're a Health Freak: Not health freak. Calorie freak, yes.
Get Along With Your Parents: Just Mom.
Like Thunderstorms: Yes :)
Play An Instrument: Clarinet and Bass guitar

Series Six - In The Past Month, Did/Have You
Drank alcohol: Yes
Smoke(d): Yes
Done a drug: Mmm... I don't know if it would be concidered a "DRUG".
Had Sex: ...
Gone On a Date?: Nope
Go To The mall?: no
Eaten An Entire Box of Oreos: No.
Eaten Sushi: No
Been On Stage: ...nope...
Been Dumped: Na uh.
Gone Skating: No.
Made Homemades: Homemades?
Been In Love: Yeah.
Gone skinny dipping: No...
Stolen Anything: Not that I remember

Series Seven - Have You Ever
Played a Game That Required The Removal Of Clothing: I don't think so ...
If So, Was It Mixed Company: If I did, no.
Been Trashed Or Extremely Intoxicated: Oh god ... yes.
Been Caught "Doing Something": lol... mmhm
Been Called a Tease: Eh...yes. And I'm NOT.
Gotten Beaten Up: mmm... only by my brother.
Shoplifted: *sigh* Yes.
If So, Did You Get Caught: Nope.
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: Hell no.

Series Eight - The Future
Age You Hope To Be Married: IF I get married, early/middle 20's.
Numbers and Names of Children: 2
Girl: There's so many to choose from! Kashley, Paris, Astryd, Iris... there's more =P
Boy: Iris (maybe for a boy) ... Um. Hm. Never really thought about any boy names.
Descibe your Dream Wedding: At the beach or in a garden, In the rain. I want to be totally careless and buy a really expensive dress and tux and run around in the rain when its over.
How Do You Want To Die: From all the sick ways I've fantasized about :)
Where You Want To Go To College: --
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up: I'm gonna be a rock star =) And yes, it does sound childish but that's my dream.
What Country Would You Most Like To Visit: Ireland :)

Series Nine - Opposite Sex
Best Eye Color: There is no best. It's the look in their eyes.
Best Hair Color: Doesn't matter...
Short or Long Hair: Couple inches past the eyes, to the mouth, mid neck, somewhere around there.
Best Articles Of Clothing: ...clothes?
Best Weight: Doesn't really matter.
Best First Kiss Location: Anywhere in the rain.

Series Ten - Number Of
Number Of Drugs Taken Illegally: Um... Alot.
Number Of People I Could Trust With My Life: ...1...maybe 2 with my LIFE.
Number Of CDs That I Own: I dunno. I don't like, count them.
Number Of Piercings: 3
Number Of Tattoos: 4... 2 of them don't count much.
Number Of Times My Name Has Appeared in the newspaper: Umm.. 4, maybe.
Number of scars: I'm a cutter. You can only imagine :)
Number Of Things In My Past That I Regret: Just about everything ...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 11 April :: 10.13 pm

...Thinkin' a lot about Bryan.

I literally got ready for it ...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 11 April :: 6.21 pm

God vomited, and there was Vicki---Rino911 =)
Cleaned my room up all nice and pretty!
Now, if I could just keep it that way.

I stayed the night at Brandon's house.
We made easter eggs and had an easter egg hunt. hehe ...
It was SO great. :P

I want tickets to 7dust and Cold =(

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 10 April :: 12.14 am

Not ONLY do I have a fetus ...
I have a useless blob, also!!
Adopt your own useless blob!

*sigh* Where is Andrew...

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 11.26 pm

Confusion ...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 11.10 pm

I gotta fetus :D

I adopted a cute lil' cow fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 10.14 pm

It's raining again ...
Thunder and lightning are here to join us, also.
I'm still all alone on messenger.
Pixie and Andrew have not come to save me yet.
Brandon still hasn't called. Or maybe he has and Mom never answered the other line.

la de da ...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 9.54 pm

Eh ...
I know pixie was on the computer but she was not on messenger.
The pixie needs to get on yahoo.

So does the andrew ... *sigh*

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 9.06 pm

Jerry and his friend Matt came home. I've known Matt and his sister, Jana since I was like, 4. Matt weighed like 230+ pounds the last time I saw him. He's like, 170 now.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 7.20 pm

"You missed a part
You live...
You make something of yourself...
You die.

And if you keep pushing, you just might find more happiness than you ever imagined.."

....But what was the point in doing it all if you're just gonna die?
It won't matter anymore. It's like you did it all for nothing.

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 9 April :: 7.15 pm

Scooter found this dog earlier, and it was starving to death and it's got a broken hip and everything.
You can see like, every bone in its body. It's so sad. Mom took it to the vet and they told her to keep feeding it and everything.

Brandon's court thing went alright ...
He got fined $250. I dunno how the hell that's gonna get paid. I buzzed underneath his hair and everything for him before he went. He liked it a lot. His mom said it looked like he got a hair cut and couldn't afford the rest :D
haha ... they always hate how he does his hair though.

Seth came over not too long ago and smoked a cigarette with me. Mom hates seth but today she was pretty cool with him for some reason.

I've been cleaning out my closet. EH. It shouldn't take too much longer ...
It's just a matter of me getting off my ass again to go do it.

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 8 April :: 11.10 pm

Oh my god ... I'm BOTHERED.
2.)Brandon saying we're getting nowhere and we probably shouldn't be together
3.) BRANDON coming up with the fact that we're getting nowhere
4.) BRANDON saying "If things don't start working out soon, we're over"


2 Seductions | Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 8 April :: 8.36 pm

The mommy said she'll take me to Brandon's at 6 in the morning and then I have to come straight home after court and clean my room.

She has forgotten all about my appointment at 9 though =)
teehee *evil laugh*

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 8 April :: 7.37 pm

Everything's always up to fucking Jeff.
And of course, he always says No.
At least the two of THEM are getting a long now.

Now it's just me out in the dark...

Seduce Me ...

:: 2004 8 April :: 6.37 pm

I've been thinking a whole lot ...
Seriously ...
What the hell is the point in living?
It's like, one huge experiment to see who can make it and who can't ...
Who's weaker than who.
"Die young and save yourself"
Think about how much that makes sense.
Because to me, it makes incredibly perfect sense.
You live ... and you die.
Why not sooner?

Of course ... I don't have the guts.
I'm just saying ... Think about it.
It's like putting millions of ants in a tiny aquarium and watching them fight for their lives.
One huge experiment ...

1 Seduction | Seduce Me ... | Random Journal