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kellielynn
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2011 14 May :: 2.33am
So I'm a little tipsy and I'm sad. I could scream my guts out right now. I'm just so sad :( soooo drunkenly sad :( it's my birthday. Sad kel :( sad sad sad :(
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kellielynn
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2011 13 May :: 10.21am
:: Music: Words I never said- lupe fiasco ft skylar grey
Oh kel :(
So I am definitely sure about my insomnia returning being due to Moose. Isn't this ridiculous? I've woken up every morning for the past two weeks around 6 or 7, then I'll doze on and off until 10. I was cured... I had been sleeping like a baby and now I'm stressed and confused and lost. Again. And I gave my melatonin to Shawna. Basically, I'm pissy because I got dumped unwillingly.
I can't even stress how awful I feel and how badly this sucks. I've been lying here for two hours. :(
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kellielynn
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2011 12 May :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: Still bummed
:: Music: Mean- Taylor Swift
You can't just go around hurting people like that.
Another day gone. I honestly hate this single bullshit. I'm pissed and bummed and annoyed and hurt and all of these emotions rolled into one heaping, weeping mess of a girl. I was NEVER one to let a guy get me so far down. I just feel like I wasted my time. And that sounds so horrible because I wouldn't change a single second of time I spent with him. He is a treasure.
But I am also a treasure. I'm so content with who I am it scares me. I know I'm fun and nice and beautiful and it just doesn't even matter. Obviously everyones perception of me is whack, because I keep hearing these things over and over and I can't help but wonder why the ONLY one I want to care enough doesn't, why I keep giving these people my all and I just get tore down in the end. I just think he took the easy way out. Life isn't easy, there's no help button you click, there's no magic advice ball to use. Life is complicated and horrendous and you get OVER these hurdles and they make you stronger to accomplish the things in life that you are fated to do.
And I know, I know, that I need to take my own damn advice but never have I ever felt this way. That instant connection that I felt, the connection that when I'd be in a piss poor mood and someone would say Moose, I'd feel FABULOUS.
Regardless, I will be strong and stop breaking down. I am kel. Somehow I always bounce back...
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kellielynn
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2011 11 May :: 9.23am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Story of Us- Taylor Swift
Another heartbreak for Kel
The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you're already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It's just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
Here's a piece of advice: let go when you're hurting too much, give up when love isn't enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.
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kellielynn
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2010 1 April :: 1.57pm
:: Mood: sad
Damn, I remember writing in this thing every fucking day since 9th grade. They're all private entries now, if you're wondering.
I'm still here.
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kellielynn
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2008 16 April :: 3.06am
You're gonna be the one who saves me.
Today, Jenni and I took a day trip to Saginaw! It was sort of a joke, but we went to eat lunch at Subway with Bridgette in between her classes and then showered and left. We got a lot of talking in and Scott made us pb&j and some presents! It was fun!
The first thing I did when we got there was buy a new bird. It's orange and blue swirls and very cool; I can't wait for it to change!
We went to Meg's house and surprised her with a call, then we went to visit Jules and Tracy.
We tried a Sobe bottle and it totally worked; it blew my mind. Who knew?!
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kellielynn
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2008 15 April :: 1.24am
:: Mood: blitzed out of mind and sight
Second chances are sweet
This was one of the craziest nights I've ever experienced at Burger King. SO fucking nuts!
It was Jenni's very last day. I was working on Bridgette's slide show for a class with her and I left a little late and Jen called me on my way over and asked if I was coming. I was about 8 minutes late. Turns out she was getting an O.E.R. and we ended up failing. It was a highly stressful last night that nobody least of all Jenni needed. :( The end was totally worth it. We closed the dining room 2 hours early and that's when everyone came. Bridgette brought wine-coolers for us and weed, Andy and Ashley came with weed, Kayla and Ash came, Scott came with a joint, Rachel brought brownies and weed. It was so fun and crazy and relaxing and wonderful. We closed drive-thru early too. Amazing :)
I gave Jenni a ride home and we smoked a shit load and I ended up crashing there, thankfully because I was still nervous to go home. We watched a movie, Pulse of One Missed Call or something. I can't remember. It was good though! So I'm heading to bed and I feel so fucking baked right now. :D
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kellielynn
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2008 10 April :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: sad
You realize you have a lot of shit when you're packing it up to leave.
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kellielynn
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2008 29 March :: 1.22am
:: Mood: okay
Smoking away
After Mom's party I stopped at Jenni's; she wanted to cheer me up and I wanted to talk a little. We smoked and I went with her to pick up Scott and we smoked again and watched tv. I love hanging out with Jenni. It's always so mellow. I think that's why she's my best friend. It's always drama free. :)
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