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:: 2005 6 October :: 1.32 pm

It's been a long time. I live on the bottom floor of a duplex now. So far I'm enjoying myself. Halfway through the "Green Mile" by Stephen King. Work's going pretty good, I'm full-time meaning I have my own insurance and everything. I'm getting a second job at the end of October as well as the current side job I have now. All in all I'm climbing out of a hole, and I'm feeling the stress fall off my back. I love it.

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:: 2005 15 September :: 7.19 pm

I'm really tired of people getting involved in my life. They need to stop. Now. I didn't ask you to talk about me, I didn't ask you to throw in your two cents. Tank jew, go teh fuk awayuh.
Don't pretend you know me, you don't. My business is not your business, your business is not my business. I do not protrude into your zone of life, you shall not protrude into mine.

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:: 2005 14 September :: 8.37 pm
:: Music: Incubus - Drive

Alright, I'll go bench by myself. Hope someone hates themself if I choke to death because I didn't have a spotter. Ass.
Maybe I'll call Ryan.

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:: 2005 7 September :: 3.28 pm

Car getting fixed tonight, possibly moving out tomorrow. Still poor, still wanting more, but I've never felt such a reassuring contentment.

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:: 2005 1 September :: 10.38 pm

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 43%
Stability |||||||||| 36%
Orderliness |||||| 30%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70%
Interdependence |||||||||||||| 56%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Mystical |||||||||||| 50%
Artistic |||||||||||| 43%
Religious |||||| 30%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Materialism |||||||||||| 43%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 43%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth |||||| 23%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical security |||||| 30%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||| 50%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 43%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity |||||||||| 36%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||||| 23%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
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:: 2005 28 August :: 3.56 pm

Hm. I'm just getting used to this short hair. It's becoming crunch time. I have tomorrow off. I have so much to do. So little time. Money is the #1 problem in my life. I hate money. I need a second job, even a job paying 8 dollars an hour which I know where to get wouldn't provide me enough money to live comfortably. Inflation sucks. Gas sucks. But at least I've got you *points*. You with that thing you do. At least I've got youuuu babbbbbyyyyy.

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:: 2005 17 August :: 1.20 am

The Brawl.
So, the brawl. About 6pm some kids pulled up to Mitch's house looking for a party. We knew one was going on down the street with drugs and booze. Later, they came back after everyone left and as I was leaving. There were 4 in the car and two hanging on the moonroof. Five males and one female.
Mitch told me to get out of my car, so I stopped my engine and stepped out and walked up next to him. Mitch told them to leave and one got off the roof and got up in his face. The guy talked a bunch of shit and ripped Mitch's shirt, then punched him in the face. Mitch swung out and shattered a lawn light in the kids chest. All hell broke loose.
At first all five guys went after Mitch, and I ran forward. One turned around and swung at me, I moved. All of them were drunk as hell, most had beer on their breath and in their hands. Mitch landed a few and took another one in the face.
The one that came after me went to shove me and I grabbed his arm and kicked his feet out from under him. I ran behind their car to get a license plate and got nailed in the chest. I looked over and saw a kid swing at Mitch with a pipe and clip his hand.
Mitch's dad came out and nailed a kid in the back of the head with his copper cored cane. They all got in the car and drove away yelling that they were coming back with guns. Beth called the cops and Mitch ran upstairs and started breaking out a shotgun.
Beth was shaking so hard so she handed me the phone. I told them the vehicle description, and everything. About 6 Kent boys rolled in 3 minutes later. shit still hasn't ended. I'm talking to someone who knows them and they keep calling her and telling her they're heading over there with shotguns and shit. I can't sleep until I know my friend is safe.

I am left with a better impression of Mitch. He never fell once, despite four guys, one with a pipe. I mean wow. Big Bear, he's iron tough mother fucker. My chest hurts, and my backis all sore from the adrenaline tensing me up. I've never felt that much adrenaline before.

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:: 2005 13 August :: 6.19 pm

Nick's philosophy is brilliant and flawless. Perfect. It's hard to stand by, sometimes you want to react. Sometimes the words you want to say pop up, but then you wouldn't be sticking to the way you want to live. I want to live like that. It seems so simple and easy for him.
It will be a memory I want to keep forever. Something to help guide me. I'll play it over and over in my head to engrave it. Thank you Nick.

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:: 2005 11 August :: 7.29 pm

Whores don't deserve my time.

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:: 2005 4 August :: 6.48 pm


You are an assassin. That means you are a proffessional and do your job without mixing any emotions in it. In your life you have probably been hurt many times and have gotten some mental scars. This results in you being distant from people. Though many think that you are evil, you are not. What you really are is a person, trying to forget your pain and past. You are the person who never seems to care and that is why being an assassin fits you good. Atleast, that's what people think. Even if you don't care that much for your victims, you still have the ability to care and to generally feel. It is not lost, just a little forgotten. In crowds you tend to not get to noticed, and dress in black or other discrete colours. You don't being in the spotlight and wish people would just leave you alone. But once you do get close to someone you have a hard time letting go and get real down if you loose him/her. Main weapon: Sniper Quote: "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy" -Jim Rohn Facial expression: Narrowed eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

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:: 2005 3 August :: 12.59 am
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Deaf Pedestrians - 15 Beers Ago

Man, It had been a month and a week til today. Wow, now I've got such a killer headache. I think I'll finish off those beers left over from that party and get some shut eye. Wonder what kind've song two beers'll spawn.

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:: 2005 1 August :: 3.01 pm
:: Music: Love Like Blood - Killing Joke

When pain leads to anger and anger burns up what's left?
"There's nothing sillier in the world, I say, than being a devil in despair." (Mephistopheles)

Edit: Sarah once told me to give her two good reasons why I drink. I could think of a few but they were all pitiful responses. Pitiful but true. I think I need to stop. I know I need to stop.

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:: 2005 1 August :: 9.25 am
:: Music: Linkin Park - Papercut

Well...that was a fun 140 mile trip.
That was one crazy fucking party. I think it's funny how everyone's fucking everyone and I sit around and mope about some girl. What the hell is my problem.

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:: 2005 24 July :: 9.49 pm

Going to watch a friends apartment for about 4 days tomorrow night. Hopefully Sarah, Dana, Vicki or Rachel's sister (I forgot her name again :D whoops) will stop by and chill with me. I'm tired of hanging around the guys. I miss chilling with Dana and Sarah and Nick. I remember back in the day. Good times. Well...I'm a little nervous because a bank down the street got robbed about 2 days ago but I won't be back until like Thursday or so. If you're one of the people I want to hang out with, you'll be able to get a hold of me. Alright, I guess I'll catch up on this another time.

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:: 2005 21 July :: 5.33 pm

That was possibly the second most intense nightmare I've ever had. I woke up in a cold sweat on Tony's floor. It was so...awkward because it seemed so childish. Well...I felt like an idiot, so I rolled over and went back to sleep. I don't remember any dreams after that one.
Life actually got really really good I believe it was two nights ago. I'm not sure...but I can't really say what happened. It was a perfectly blended night, which raised my confidence in myself back up to full throttle.
Last night though I watched Tony peirce Connie's nose. She passed out and I was the only one close enough to catch her and hold her up. It was awkward to say the least...being in front of all my friends, hold an ex-girlfriend in your arms...yeah. I attempted my best to handle it professionally, you know, slap the face to make her regain consciousness, have someone get her something with alot of sugar...but even to me it seemed like I was taking alot of care to her.
I'm glad no one decided to give me shit about that. Kind've funny too. That's the second time I've caught her while she was falling because she passed out. And the second time she woke up in my arms...*shakes head* bad memories.
Well, time to hit up gravy on the tele and see if he wants to grab a couple cubans with me.

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