I support Canada!!!

 

friends | profile | guestbook


As good as my doggie.

recent entries | past entries


:: 2005 19 January :: 5.50 pm

I am so fucking pissed out of my mind.
I am a Junior. A fucking Junior. First of all, I should have been first chair in the first violin section at the beginning of the year. She said we were so close and had a really hard choice to make. And made the freshman, Mark, first chair. Okay, so I dealt with that... Even though I feel that I should have the first chair, Mark's a cool guy, and I didn't mind sharing a stand with him. I didn't really want to man all the sectionals, but Mark isn't doing a wonderful job. So I'm dealing with having a crappy sectional dictator, too...

But then, she moves me to first chair, 2nd violins. I was pretty angry about that... but at least I was first chair and could man the sectionals how I wished.

And now, today, this day of all days, she fucking moves me to the very BACK of the 2nds. I'm with Taylor, and even though she's a cool freshman, I'M IN THE BACK OF THE FUCKING SECONDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I disserve to be in the front. I've been playing the same this entire time. She said she needed STRONG players back there, right? Everyone gets a chance to be in the front row? FUCK THE LIVING HELL OUT OF HER. I WANT TO SLIT HER FUCKING THROUT!!!!!! I believe we the people in the first spots are the best and disserve the spot because they work hard for it! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU PUT a stupid dumb-as-a-brick BITCH in the front, and a tone deaf guy who can't even keep THE FUCKING RYTHMN?!

I want her head to be stripped off her body and thrown to the crocodiles. I want her too stay alive too so she can feel every bit of searing pain that rolls upon her. So who wants to go egg Mrs. Blair's house with me?? HUH?? HUH??!!!

Fuck the living hell out of her and have her not like it,
Lauren

::edit 2 seconds later::
I have put up with her for 3 years and I don't disserve this!

3 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 16 January :: 8.29 pm

So apparently I have what's called, EXERCISE ENDUSED ASTHMA.... Interesting...
And that's why I can't play DDR for a large amount of time...

Yesterday Ryan came over. We cuddled on the couch and watched Garden State and Samuri X. Samuri X is fairly bloody. I hope we don’t get in trouble with the administration for showing it in Japanese Club. Garden State was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. It’s so beautiful and romantic. And when they kiss in the rain…. wow. I really want that.

Oh, and I watched Paparazzi today… That movie has everything! From fist fights to car chases… drugs to romance… guns to killing… it’s amazing.
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
………………………………………………………………………………...
AMAZINGLY BAD!!!!!

Yeah, well that's it.

Love you all,
Lauren

3 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 16 January :: 3.33 pm

Homework ho!
I finished my culture project. I finished my chemistry. But I need to finish my test corrections...

3 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 15 January :: 9.39 am
:: Mood: envious of the sun's beautious rays

I feel happy today.
I spent a little time in bed last night. Just thinking. And then in bed this morning, just thinking.
But this time, it was good thinking. I looked around the room and saw the sunlight shining on the walls... I saw the snow on the ground outside and it looked like crystals... I looked up and noticed the icicles on the overhang of the roof. I had forgotten the beauty of the icicles. The way the sun hits them... *sigh* They were one of the best parts about winter.
I know I sound a little cheesey, but I can't help that I feel so wonderful right now.

Love,
Lauren

3 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 14 January :: 4.50 pm

Screw my life.
I'm changing. I'm going to be someone who has fun. I don't want to do nothing anymore. And I don't want to be with anyone who does nothing.

I might join a youth group that has nothing to do with a religion.

So fuck y'all... I'm going out.

3 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 13 January :: 10.48 pm

One, two, princes kneel before you
(that’s what I said, now)
Princes, princes who adore you
(just go ahead, now)
One has diamonds in his pockets
(that sounds great, now)
This one, said he wants to buy you lockets
(ain’t in his head, now)

This one, he got a princely racket
(that’s what I said, now)
Got some big seal upon his jacket
(ain’t in his head, now)
Marry him, your father will condone you
(how bout that, now)
Marry me, your father will disown you
(he’ll eat his hat, now)

Aww, marry him or marry me,
I’m the one that loves you b baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or a family tree,
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be,
I know what a prince and lover ought to be....

Said, if you want to call me baby
(just go ahead, now)
An’ if you’d like to tell me maybe
(just go ahead, now)
An if you wanna buy me flowers
(just go ahead, now)
And if you’d like to talk for hours
(just go ahead, now)

Said, one, two, princes kneel before you
(that’s what I said, now)
Princes, princes who adore you
(just go ahead, now)
One has diamonds in his pockets
(that sounds great, now)
This one, he wants to buy you lockets
(ain’t in his head, now)

Marry him or marry me,
I’m the one that loves you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or a family tree,
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be,
I know what a prince and lover ought to be....

Said, if you want to call me baby
(just go ahead, now)
An’ if you’d like to tell me maybe
(just go ahead, now)
If you wanna buy me flowers
(just go ahead, now)
And if you’d like to talk for hours
(just go ahead, now)
And if you want to call me baby
(just go ahead, now)
An’ if you’d like to tell me maybe
(just go ahead, now)
If you’d like buy me flowers
(just go ahead, now)
And if you’d like to talk for hours
(just go ahead, now)

Said, if you want to call me baby

(just go ahead, now)

An’ if you’d like to tell me maybe

(just go ahead, now)

If you wanna buy me flowers

(just go ahead, now)

And if you’d like to talk for hours

(just go ahead, now)

Ohh baby

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 13 January :: 10.32 pm

<3
You're my favorite.
You're fired.
Your mom.

Good times.

Today was a happy day. Appart from Brooke not being there, I had some fun. I think Anna doesn't like me very much... even though I gave her her present today... I finished my Culture project and my review. They both kinda suck but I worked hard on them both.

Amelia brought up a good point about Disney Land... That was like... the best. A lot of things were great about that trip... and if only we were going next year...
No boys to worry about...
No money to worry about...
The only worrying was whether we could see everything we wanted to see.

Now that I think about it, that is my most missed memory. If I develope a terminal illness, and I get a wish answered, I wish we could all go back to Disney Land. Just like it was before, only this time, we use our fast passes instead of waiting in line for splash mountain for 4 hours in a row... :P

Tomorrow I play in front of the entire student body at the MLK con. Wish Mark, Taylor, Josh, and I luck.

Love you,
Lauren

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 12 January :: 9.18 pm

Caring isn't one of her strong points apparently...
I spent the evening at practice again. Those people sincerely rock. Yes, Mark, froshes=the coolness. Stories are great. I'd love to be included in one... I wish I had some cool stories. Maybe I should make some.

I love you Taylor! <3

Lauren

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 12 January :: 5.11 pm

I thought we had fun just being in the company of eachother... What did I do this time that made her think that it was the wrong choice? What am I doing Amelia? I can't change if you won't tell me what's wrong...

Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 11 January :: 5.48 pm

FUCK!
I hate my life.

5 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 11 January :: 3.42 pm

How confusing...
I'm so glad. I'm so... confused... And so difficult...
It's like... I am so increadibly excited that Amelia has chosen to give me another chance after a month yesterday... But I don't know how to be around her anymore. It's like... I'd love to go up and laugh with her because I love her laugh so much... But I don't know how...

It's like, since I don't know what I did wrong before, I will have no clue if I do it again and I want to keep her friendship so badly! If I have bitched too much, that hasn't bothered Elizabeth... and I've been her friend for 14 years... If it's overeacting, why is Ryan still with me? I am a drama queen around him.

If I stepped on her or insulted her in some way, I didn't mean it! Trust me! I was probably blowing something out of proportions like I usually do. But that's how I am. I'll try to not be so sensative, but my mom knows better than anyone that I am the most sensative person she's ever met and she's met a lot of people!!

So what is it Millie?
I will try my best to change whatever it is and explain my actions...

BTW, congratulations to you and Jeremy for 2 months. I felt sick of Ryan by 2 months. n.n But once you reach beyond that bit of feeling awkward, it's really quite lovely. ^^

Love,
Lauren

Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 9 January :: 12.47 pm

13

Thirteen Random things you like:
01) Popsicles
02) Cashmere
03) The color green
04) Math
05) Animals
06) Art
07) Family trips (like to Britian and Canada
08) Brownies
09) Napoleon Dynamite
10) The Harry Potter series
11) Kites
12) Rain
13) Feeling someone else’s eyelashes, blinking on the side of your cheek

Twelve movies:
01) The Pirates of the Caribbean
02) A Walk to Remember
03) Signs
04) Hook
05) The Princess Diaries
06) The Lord of the Rings trilogy
07) Benny and Joon
08) The Lion King
09) The Great Mouse Detective
10) The Big Labowski
11) Snatch
12) Amelie

Eleven good bands/artists:
01) The Used
02) A Perfect Circle
03) Evanescence
04) Good Charlotte
05) Weezer
06) Franz Ferdinand
07) The Killers
08) Deftones
09) Yann Tiersen
10) The Goo Goo Dolls
11) Mozart

Ten things about you:
01) I have a boyfriend
02) I want to become a graphic designer
03) I love my pet bearded dragon, Radar
04) My circle of friends seems to be getting smaller
05) I am a selfish, drama queen
06) My nail polish chips off the day I put it on
07) I play the violin
08) My favorite candies are Andes Candies (the mints)
09) My house has a living room and a family room
10) I could look at the stars and dance in the rain forever

Nine good friends: (tough decisions)
01) Ryan
02) Elizabeth
03) Anna
04) Katie
05) Brooke
06) Mark
07) Patrick
08) Mike
09) Mom

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01) Spaghetti
02) Cheese
03) Andes Candies
04) Pixi Stix
05) Oranges
06) Steak
07) Sherllie Temples
08) Frozen Hot Chocolate from Second Cup

Seven things you wear daily:
01) Undies
02) My purple wish bracelet (I had a blue one too, until I lost it)
03) A shirt
04) Pants
05) Shoes or boots
06) A bra
07) Makeup

Six things that annoy you:
01) George W. Bush
02) Selfish people (yes, I annoy myself)
03) Bad drivers
04) Gay Marriage bans
05) Hypocrites
06) Stress

Five things you touch everyday:
01) My face
02) The remote
03) Water
04) My CD Player
05) The keyboard

Four shows you watch:
01) Viva La Bam!
02) Unfabulous
03) Reno 911
04) CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Three celebrities you have a crush on/ think are attractive:
01) Johnny Depp
02) Colin Firth
03) Ryan Phillip

Two people you'd like to kiss:
01) Ryan
02) No one else

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:
01) Ryan

1 Tear | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 9 January :: 12.14 pm

I want to crawl into a hole and die.

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 8 January :: 10.46 pm
:: Mood: hurt
:: Music: A Perfect Circle: When the Levee Breaks

After you cry for a long time, all your sences tone down....
Your vision starts to blur and there's not much distinction between colors...
The feeling throughout your body numbs, as an ache thumps throughout your muscels...
A ringing buzzes in your ear, taunting you... Making you think of all the horrible things you put him through...
You can't smell much because your nose is plugged up with the creation of so many tears...
And a taste developes in your mouth... Much like the taste of copper or aluminum... The taste that you hate...

I don't want our sidewalk we've built together to end... do you? I never want to stop loving you, Ryan... Not when I go into college and begin the rest of my life... Not when I get sick and my body starts to deteriorate right from under my feet... Not when the sky turns red and everything dies... Not when each and every last star falls from around us... Not when there is nothing left... Not ever.

Saying Goodbye


:: 2005 8 January :: 4.55 pm
:: Music: Frank Sinatra: Love and Marraige

Superficial
1. First Name? Lauren

2. Were you named after anyone? My grandmother, Lorna.

3. Which finger is your favorite? My left ring finger-I think it's really beautiful...

4. Are you answering these questions during work? No

5. When did you last cry? Probably last time I was at Stacie's.

6. Why? It's hard talking about things...

7. What is your favorite lunch meat? Roast turkey

8. Any bad habits? Biting my nails, biting peoples heads off, over-reacting, others...

9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? I don't feel like answering this one...

10. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Yes, I don't care about drama queens... just that I help people.

11. Are you a daredevil? No.

12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes... but it was needed, trust me. I wouldn't betray anyone unless they were going to do something to hurt themself or someone else...

13. Do looks matter? Sometimes...

14. How do you release anger? I sing

15. Where is your second home? If it would be anywhere, probably Elizabeth's.

16. Do you trust others easily? Yes

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had so many... Probably my baby Jesus

22. Who is your favorite singer/artist? Right now it's A Perfect Circle. The Used comes next.

24. Would you go bungee jumping? Yeah

25. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Not unless they are my boots, usually.

26. Do you think that you are strong? No, but I'm trying to be...

27. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies in cream or mint chocolate chip or orange sherbert.

28. Shoe Size? 8-8 1/2

29. What are your favorite colors? green then orange

30. What is your least favorite thing? There are so many things I could say here.... Is hate a thing?

31. How many wisdom teeth do you have? 0

32. How many people have a crush on you right now? One

34. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it
back? I want everyone to read it, to fill it out...

35. What color pants are you wearing? Black

36. What are you listening to right now? Frank Sinatra-New York, New York

37. Last thing you ate? An old chocolate truffle that made my tummy hurt

38.if you were a crayon, what color would you be? I'm not sure... I wish I was purple, though.... I think that's the prettiest crayon color.

39. What is the weather like right now? Snowy and cold... I like it...

40. Last person you talked to on the phone? The guy who's fixing our drain and is down stairs RiGhT nOw!

41. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? their face, and smile... Then eyes and hair... then body... then personality...
And when they have a nice face, I blush....

42. Do you like the person who sent you this to you? Yes

43. How are you today? Distrot

44. Favorite drink? The frozen hot chocolates at Second Cup and Sherlie Temples at upscale restaurants... (the lowscale restaurants don't make them very yummy....)

WHERE DID 45 GO?!!!

46. Favorite Sport? Badminton

47. Hair color? Light brown with natural red and blonde highlights...

48. Do you wear contacts? No

WHERE'S 49?!!

50. Siblings? 1

51. Favorite month? March, April, and December

52. Favorite food? I don't feel like answering this one either...

53 Last movie you watched? The Sixth Sense

54 Favorite day of the year? Usually Mother's day.... or I guess every good day I have....

55 Are you too shy to ask someone out? No

56. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on the movies... ^_^

57. Summer or winter? Winter

58. Hugs or kisses? Can't I have both? I feel secure with hugs... and warm with kisses... (Yes, even Anna's kisses ^_^)

59. Relationships or one night stands? Relationships take so much more work... but you get so much more out of them... <333

60. Do you want your friends to write back? Yes

61. Who is most likely to respond? Not sure...

62. Least likely to respond? Nathan?

63. Living arrangement? I live in a house... In Spokane... With mom and dad...

64. What books are you reading? The Unredeemed Captive

65. What's on your mouse pad? I don't have one... I have one of those stationary mouses with the rolly balls...

66. Favorite board game? I have too many...

67. What did you watch on TV last night? I fell asleep watching Twister on TNT

68. Favorite smells? Rain. My all time favorite smell is rain. I also like Amour Amour, pizza, onions on the skillet with oil, and vanilla and cinnimon candles.

69. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? Usually work I haven't done, or people I want to be with...

70. Who did you want to be the next president? John Kerry. He's no duche, seriously... He's more intelligent than our current president.

Done.

4 Tears | Saying Goodbye

Woohu.com | Random Journal