Not sure if I'll do much public. Going to take work getting into the habit to just using this again. Doesn't seem to have many active members anymore though, which is a bit saddening. Might ask Andy what traffic is like nowadays?
I have not posted on here in an exceptionally long time. I think I'm finally really happy with my life though. I enjoy my job, I get to see so many amazing, beautiful places and meet interesting people everyday. In a lot of ways it feels like I'm on vacation all the time, always going places people dream about seeing when they retire or something. Instead those places are where I get to go everyday.
I am addicted to that certainty in whose absence my selfishness is
In the first moments I was action. I moved, even though my certainty and knowledge had been shattered. From here, I can't see precisely what moved me. Some inexplicable sense that the next step, despite not mattering, was worth making.
But I've coasted to a halt. I sit motionless and restless. That is my selfishness. Though I have no certainty to speak of, it should be obvious what the next step is. [I]It's all out there[/I].
But then I stop. There are people, connections, responsibilities. Am I allowing myself to be especially possessed? Have I surrendered myself to be objectified? Does covenant imply objectification?
I am living in a paralyzing tension- on the one hand, the potential for absolute freedom. On the other, knowing how alone that freedom makes me.
Can I bind myself that way? Is there anything else to do?
_|_ If it looks something like that, then I have some writing to do.
It's funny that tripping over the answer gets me to ask the right question. My life would move along more quickly if I could do things the other way around.