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*This could be all I'm waiting for*

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skife

:: 2016 22 August :: 5.33pm

I don't feel like adulting today.

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liz

:: 2015 12 October :: 11.37pm

I registered for classes today. Going back to school for a degree in library science. Im pretty excited bout this change. It's gonna take a long time but I'm pretty thrilled about the thought of getting out of retail and I think library science is something that I'll really enjoy. And I'll at least know that I'm taking steps to be happy in the long run.

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skife

:: 2014 20 September :: 11.41am

things that make me not want to get married
1. the wedding.

3 butterfly nades | pull the pin


skife

:: 2014 25 August :: 9.10pm




possible road trip next summer.

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tuwang

:: 2014 1 July :: 3.02am

I will start this post by pointing out that I typed in my username and password for woohu without flinching even though it's been saved in my computer for 5 years (just built a new PC). I think that says something.

me references will be in italics. ;)

I will continue by saying that I miss me. I'm not entirely sure I know what me is anymore, but I'm pretty sure I miss it. As a disclaimer I will say that none of this is meant to be sad or foreboding in three at all. Just a rant.

I have this notion that any sense of self I had is gone with all the hobbies I used to have.

I understand that being 27 it is a totally normal thing to be unsure of direction and/or choice, what the fuck am I doing?

I had all these plans to do these big things (that weren't one-hundred percent attainable) and now here I am, a cog in the machine.

If I'm going to live in these conditions, I wish I was a teacher at least. At least then I might have the comfort of knowing I'm doing something for the future and our youth whether or not they give a shit (and usually I can't blame them if not).

I reflect sometimes and honestly feel like it's deserved. I've done many things that have warranted my conundrum. So self deprecating I is.

But then there's the other side. Considering I'm with a mother who's in a perpetual mental breakdown and a father who will hate you if the wind changes direction: I'm alive, I eat, I drink, I'm typing on a computer; things can't be that bad.

I almost blame my raising. The raising involving America being the best and being privileged just to be involved. I don't think it's the same anymore. We're not the best. I will soon be a part of a motion picture that someone in Sweden will watch and say "man, I'm glad I live here and not there regardless of how entertaining this drama is". Does that make sense? Basically I have a notion that we will soon be portrayed as less than first world. Not that less than first world is less than anything but... whatever this isn't the point.

My point is all I do is reminisce. I reminisce about times when I didn't have to think so much. I reminisce about the people who made thinking optional at most. I reminisce about love gone, love I wasted, love I should have valued. I was so carefree I felt like love was water; the most abundant of resources.

Now I'm aware; and too much so. I have a perspective of things I've done, things I'm doing, and things I will do. This is equal parts frustrating and enlightening. Equal parts "I want to apologize to everyone" and "want to stand my ground". If I hadn't made the shitty choices I've made in the past, I wouldn't be so enlightened but I wish I could go back and at the least prevent them or remake them.

I've been told by some of the people I love most that I'm not good enough for anything that is normal a lot of my life, when I was young and still today, and this has been the basis of my relationships since I was a tweenager (this is the only word in this post with a red scribble underneath it as I'm typing and I'm proud of that). I shouldn't have said that because now another mistake will be pointed out.

With this said, All i want is to know what I want. I want to know what is wantable. Is there something I should want? Want want want. Need Need Need.

That is all for tonight. Again, just a rant. Have a good night.

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tuwang

:: 2014 6 June :: 12.09pm

Hi woohu. How have you been?

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skife

:: 2014 14 April :: 9.48pm

things i should be doing right now:

getting ready for bed

things i'm actually doing right now:
my taxes


Procrastination: Hard work might pay off later, being lazy pays off now.

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skife

:: 2013 15 December :: 11.03pm

a friend of mine post this on facebook a few days ago...

i read it and realised that i'm an introvert...
life made alot of sense afterwards.


http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-introverts-will-understand

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skife

:: 2013 3 December :: 8.11pm



every day... i'm miserable.

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skife

:: 2013 12 September :: 9.11pm

so, i applied for a job today that required me to write a cover letter.
I've never done that before.
adult decisions.

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skife

:: 2013 9 September :: 9.57pm

went to andy's house tonight, his mom called me earlier today to see if i could come over and get some pictures and videos off an old phone.

it was an interesting expierence. We talked about alot of things, some made me laugh, some made me sad.

Just an interesting expierence all around.

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liz

:: 2013 20 July :: 9.58am

In case facebook didn't tell you I'm soo excited about Kelly Clarkson concert tonight! !!!

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skife

:: 2013 15 July :: 7.43pm

sometimes i'm pissed off and i don't know why.

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windedhero

:: 2013 21 June :: 1.55pm

This is what a blockquote looks like.

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liz

:: 2013 13 June :: 11.05am

Todays workout kicked my ass. But it feels good to sweat from the side of my boob.

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skife

:: 2013 2 June :: 10.20am

only so much shit i can put up with... ugggh.

1 butterfly nade | pull the pin


liz

:: 2013 18 May :: 12.53am

So done. Or maybe just tired

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skife

:: 2013 16 May :: 9.42am

jobless again... fuck me.

boss called me into his office this morning and told me "the guys say you're not progressing anymore"

and he let me go...

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skife

:: 2013 17 March :: 8.28pm

so...

ran a 5k in 37:50 yesterday.

literally went from couch to 5k with no training.

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phil-himself

:: 2013 2 February :: 11.58pm

Need solidarity.

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phil-himself

:: 2013 8 January :: 7.25pm

There's no luck, you make your luck. Be a champion everyday.

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andrea

:: 2012 29 November :: 7.39pm

I've found that I seem to have the same cycle of problems and issues on an almost annual basis. It's so bad it's almost at the point of predictability. Unfortunately, I've also found that many of these dilemmas have a common thread.

Not this year. Not. this. fucking. year. Oh no.
It's gonna be different. It's gonna be great.

The year of solidarity.
It's happening and I have to say it's already going so well.

1 butterfly nade | pull the pin


tuwang

:: 2012 26 November :: 2.28am

so here I am

constantly basing my life on other people. Need to focus on myself.

Can't do that... hate myself. Help me.

2 butterfly nades | pull the pin


phil-himself

:: 2012 8 November :: 1.31pm

I'm gonna corner the unicorn grease market, tell you what

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phil-himself

:: 2012 4 November :: 12.42pm

Big challenges right now, but fire strengthens steel.

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skife

:: 2012 3 November :: 9.24am

done with sprint, got a call yesterday saying i start at the tool n die place monday at 9am

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phil-himself

:: 2012 17 October :: 7.53pm

box wine and frozen pizza, vidya games. that's a good way to fucked up

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