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:: 2009 24 November :: 9.18pm
:: Music: nostaligic music

wow so long
so its been forever, havent done these things in so long. It was a trip reading back through all that i have been through. so much that i have shut out. so anyone reading this knows, i actually moved to florida. have been talking to my mom happily. I go to school at florida gulf coast university and i am seriously still as confused as i ever was.

here fgoes nothing, maybe i will keep up with this,....

2 commentz | you better fucking comment!!


:: 2006 13 July :: 11.35pm

sometimes you are granted the privelage of taing a step back and seeing yourself... maybe not literally in you but seeing something that just makes you realize soemthing that youve needed to see forever...and sometimes things can change and can grow and you can learn... because learning is so important... learning how to love and how to care and be with someone... to worry about them and pray for their success...im not sure what im even rambling about... but i know you understand... maybe im reading all the signs wrong... maybe there arent even any signs....whatever the case may be.... i saw myself today... and i saw myself loving you...

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2006 1 June :: 10.05pm

so its been a while since ive typed in here

alot of things have changed...

i guess daner and are closer... and went to see my mom in florida... and bonnaroo is in 2 weeks!!!

so me n danas anniversary i guess is officially september 7th haha

hmmmmm its tough trying to catch up on things when so much has changed.

just went camping in the cape with jimmy dana timmy jimmi christina stacie ryann sarah keri lindsey tristan and a bunch of other ppl it was fun lol

hmmmmm well idk right now thats about it

ohgh waitttt

prom! haha daner and i went it was fun i love him

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2006 17 May :: 3.30pm
:: Music: itunes its on shuffle

Go to your iTunes Top 25 Most Played - pick a few lines from each & have your LiveJournal friends figure out what they are. Strike them out as they're guessed. Then pass it on.

1) when i say shotgun you say wedding.. shotgun wedding shotgun wedding....

2) should have kissed you in the elevator but I was too scared to

3) lava come down soft & hot, you better love me now or love me not

4) everyone in this town will see, someone like you could be with someone like me

5) my choice is what I choose to be & if you're causing no harm then you're alright with me

6) weekend warriors and our best friends, the writers weren't kidding but the good things will live in our hearts

7) with the sound of your voice, its close to paradise with the end surely near and if i could only stop this car and hold on to you and never let go, i'll never let go

8) my tounge's the only muscle in my body that works harder than my heart

9) but a short time's a long time when your mind just wont let it go

10) tonight i'll sit & pick apart your pictures & over analyze your words, the truth is i've never fallen so hard its taken everything in me just to forget your sweater so far

11) and im only gonna peirce my left ear, and ive been workin on this moustache all summer long, and my favorite band will always be tears for fears and im gonna wear a pink tux to the prom

12) why cant we be jazz musicians a little melody we'll soon be missing

13) the words that you said that broke the silence, the bond between us that can't be broken, though you are gone now, you're not forgotten

14) trouble ahead, trouble behind, and you know that notion just crossed my mind

15) we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl

16) my inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit, in time it says you oh you are so cool

17) the world around me is turning, im still standing still

18) california rest in peace, simulaneous release

19)you and me wake up and make love after a deep sleep

20) and she shows off her skill as she takes it all

21) i miss you so, i want you to know that, i miss you, i miss you so, im writing again...

22) love and sex and nothing else, take whats yours and leave the rest, ill survive, god its good to be alive

23) we'll try eachother on to see if we fit..

24) excuse me, while I kiss the sky

25) your words they seem to hang above my head

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2006 15 April :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Fast Car by TC

Name ten of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick people to do the same:

01 - Driving with the windows down listening to Jimmy Buffett or rock or screamo/emo real loud - wearing big sunglasses & a hoodie
02 - getting into bed at night and feeling safe in my puffy big down comfortor
03 - being at camp, with my favorite people in the world<3
04 - when a guy hugs me from behind, and kisses my neck.
05 - singing in the streets of Israel, with Dor L Dor...
06 - Listening to my ipod & tuning out the world...seeing only what im hearing.
07 - Long bus/car rides with NERUSY
08 - USY Leadership & Spring conventions
09 - wearing Uggs
10 - seeing a camp person unexpectedly in the middle of a random place

your it: jen k & sarah f

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:: 2006 8 March :: 7.22pm
:: Music: Alice in chains- Rooster

wow.. i havent looked at this in so long.. and not liek neone else has hahah.. but yea im goann write in here again mayb.. haha if i remeber.. but yea im so bored.. waiting for james to call kelc back so we can get highhhh.. natick is a shit hole.. mad boring.. never nehting to do butdrugs.. and that requites money.. which i dotn have..

yea so everyhtign suckes.. like always.. still lvoe cj.. he dont love me.. on going story.. mayb one day ill write the whole thing in here so ill remeber.. then again how can i forget.. blahhhh im hungryyyy.. bout to go eat yeaa.. buy

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:: 2006 12 January :: 9.50pm

so yeah im cute..

i took dana out yesterday to dinner at a little italian restaurant in newton called appetito it was cute haha a little fancy tho! (i could barely say the names of the food haha)

well i had a good time, and he seemed to as well... i adore him...


you better fucking comment!!


:: 2006 1 January :: 11.25am

so i couldnt have spent new years a better way... i had such a good time being with him we just relaxed and played with eachother... i love it i love it when he touches me when he tells me things when he holds me when i fall asleep in his arms.

i love him.. and i know he loves me too..

sarahs party was fun i basically just sat with dana teh whole time but i finally had someone to kiss on new years! my first kiss of 06' horrrayyyyyyyy

well im lazy so ill write more later

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 28 December :: 1.20am

the best christmas present i could have recieved


the time we have had has been good-shitty. i look at the times when we first hung out and i remember maine too. i wish life was like the week in maine. at times i hate you i want to just leave you on the side of the road and drive off you make me mad at times. i wouldnt trade the times we have even though i hate the bad times. i like you and i cant hide it, but i'm just scared to "commit" to you. i care too much to take you, and then hurt you. but i never would do that to you. lol you told me to write that i care about you. lol no but really i do, and when your out with ppl i guess i am jealous. but when your with those kids i hate it. i get really jealous and i cant stand it, but who am i to say anything. i dont know anymore to say ive said alot. im sorry :( but i <3 you

<3~ Dana

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 28 December :: 1.20am

i love him.....
uhhh i probably shouldnt but i do...
and i somehow think he might love me too?

crazy huh...

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 23 December :: 1.15pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: The LeeVees


STAFF 2006 BITCHES.....maddddd good times it shall be :)

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:: 2005 28 November :: 7.43pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: couting crows- long december

in a word,
the whole universe would collapse
in a motion from my hand
let me release my anguish through a handful of dust
let me sprinkle it through my soul
leave the world
I said I wanna
leave the world
just let me vanquish this grief
it's got to be done away with
my angst has tormented my mind for too long

then again
maybe I overreacted
maybe I'm an ant in the universe
if I'm so little
is it better to be nothing
than have the world on your shoulders?

couldn't I leave this country?
what borders did I let this garden put upon my soul?
why can't I leave?
maybe a sailboat through the canal would be fun
it's the anxiety
but it's not from my heart
she's causing this anxiety
“Who is she?” Mama always says.
“Mama can't you see
she's right next to me” and I'm lamenting
all the same.
I hear it again,
“Who is she?”
This time from the skies.
God, was that you?
So what if I'm hallucinatory
we're all just ideas
we're all just figments of His imagination
we're all just ideas…
Mama, can't you see her?
-Jesse Mencow

--i need to write again, i was doing so much better when i wrote. i cany believe i did it again, stupid me. stupid stupid me.

slice after slice.
i need to bleed i tell myself
cut deeper
faster & harder
show no emotion as it opens
cut my skin apart
make sure it leaves a mark
open hearts are the same as open wounds
my scars they will forever be
i once again opened my heart too soon
and now im left cutting
more open wounds.

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 20 November :: 5.15pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: I'm A Fake - The Used

watch it drip
i did it again. i don't know why. No, I do know why I do this to myself. and this quote explains it all:

"All Ive been thinking about lately is how much I want to take back our first kiss. How much I would pay to just let you climb through that window. I mean, who knows what would have happened, I mean maybe wed still be best friends, maybe youd still have a thing for me. I just know that I wouldnt be hurting like this. Then I think about everything that kiss brought into my life. What it was like to look at you & know not just what you were thinking but what you were feeling because I was feeling the same thing. & then its all worth it. Its worth all the pain that Im going through. I want to regret kissing you, but I cant. It was the smartest decision I ever made. "

the playful days began when I was in 6th gradem but true love, it all began that Wednesday night in March 2003<3 and it ended with a heartbreak, i'm so sorry I hurt you, i'd do anything in the world, if it would bring you back to me, I love you more than anyone and anything and I forever will. Until the day I die- you'll always be the one I love, my first, my last, my only love.

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 8 November :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: ...porkys midnight riders

pictures update:

here are all the possible sites:

(oldest...Freshman year, Frosh Volleyball, JV Lax, John Mayer/Guster,0319 Reunion, NHS Freshman Semi Formal, USY Randoms)

(YRUSH -summer 2004)

(Randall's Sweet 16, Haifa/Prozdor Exchange Feb 05')

(Dor L' Dor Israel Summer 05' --first 240pics)

(Dor L' Dor Israel Summer 05'-- second 240pics)

(Dor L' Dor Israel Summer 05'--last 90, back at camp 05', Maine with the Family end of summer, Alyssa & Samantha's, camera whoring, 9/30/05 with Marla)

(NERUSY 05'... leadership (10/28-10/30)


you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 8 November :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: dirty

I've decided I need this back.
Writing here is an emotional breakaway, I feel like since I stopped writing to get my feelings out, everything builds up inside me, and then I just want to scream.. or I do something stupid.

Basically, I got my license. Actually, it's a wicked cute story...the weekend before Halloween I was away in Palmer with USY. So when I got home Sunday night I was searching for my permit because my road test was scheduled for the following morning... I LOST IT! I was crying and screaming at my parents, and they're like what the hell?! and all this. So my mom, being amazing, waits with me at the RMV at 7:30 the next morning, so I could get a renewal permit before the driver's ed guy picks me up and then we go for my road test. So I took the road test at 10. I PASSED :) so after schoool daddy says "lets go test drive cars!" of course im like okayyy!!! yayyy!!! so we get to the dealership and the guy pulls around this honda CR-V in silver for me to test drive, but outside I saw the midnight blue one my parents had told me they really liked.. so yeah, I went out to look and there were birthday ballooons and a congrats banner, and i was like dad look its sold, and hes crying basically and goes "i hope you like it, its yours, happy early birthday" and i was in shockkk, my birthday isnt until febuary! but sweeetness, i love my midnight blue honda crv, sunroof, xm radio, madd space, its hott- even has a picnic table in the trunkish part- for tailgate/pregamming :) worddd!!!

so yes, life is hectic. The car and some other things are good but other stuff just brings me down. I haven't had a miserable day in two weeks, so thats good- I hope it stays like this for longer....
I'll write more later, I need to do some work, so Kacey can come over and we can watch Wet Hot American Summer tonight- yayyy! :o) <3

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 7 November :: 7.57am



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:: 2005 5 November :: 9.44am

so shits kinda fucked...

im sick of people... and im sick of my emotions i wish i could hate you.. i wish i could get you out of my head i wish you werent all i think about i wish that you would treat me rigth and i wish we coudl be happy together...

well last night we went to the BU hockey game it was funnnnnnnnnn <3 ah...

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 25 October :: 11.05pm

I saw the stars begin to appear in the night sky, I counted each one and found one which shined brighter than the rest. I closed my eyes and made a wish. My mind rifled through millions of thoughts, and wants until it found my greatest wish. My dreams to become an actress. As I laid in my bed pondering my wish I somehow dosed off.
The morning sun peaked into my windows and woke me up. Just another day, and just another wasted wish. I went about my daily routine, ate breakfast, got dressed, and went to school. On my long walk home I thought some more about my dream, and decided maybe I should just give it up. What use was wishing on a star anyways? I arrived at my house to find a package on the front steps. It was addressed to me so I opened it. Inside the box was another box, and inside that another, and another and another. Finally I opened the last box and inside was the business card of a talent agency. Puzzled and excited I ran to my house phone and dialed the number.
A young woman answered the phone and explained to me what had been sent to me. They told me that I had been reffered to them by an unidentified source which told them great things of me. After meetings, and many delliborations they asked to fly me to Las Vegas. I packed up everything and left my entire life. I performed in small venues and plays making a substantial amount of money. But it wasn’t enough for me. The hunger for fame and money enveloped all of my thoughts.
I found myself lost in my empty home, filled with glorious art, and trivial objects. 3 years had passed from that day, and I’d yet to talk to my family, or any of the loved ones from back home. It was an empty feeling, but still I trucked on to fulfill my dreams. It wasn’t long before a major production company heard my name. flown once again away to a new location. California was different, walking down the streets I felt out of place. I had come from a small town, and ended up in the lonely city of L.A. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. As I walked the boulevard that night, I saw the stars begin to appear in the night sky. I counted each one and found one which shined brighter than the rest. I closed my eyes and made a wish, just like before, but this time I knew exactly what I wanted.
I fell asleep that night with such hope, and elevated expectations. The sun peaked into my windows once again and I woke up excited to see what my wish had to bring. But I didn’t find another box, or any other sign. I didn’t find anything, the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that. It was then that the reality hit me, I had received what I deserved, and felt more alone than ever.

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 17 October :: 6.08pm

i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

i need youuuu

were weirdos together.. i love it and were okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

itll be okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 15 October :: 12.59am

you dont have any worries
about where they are
or what they feel
cuz all that matters is that second
when you just laying next to eachother
and time just seems to fade off
like the rest of the world
when your together
the house your in could fall
and the entire world could be closing in
but when you turn to see their face
you forget and rember you safe
and how hes gonna keep the walls
from falling on you
even if the walls did come tumbling down
it wouldnt matter anyways
because what you shared in that second
is more precious
than any material possession
nothing else matters
you look around and see all the walls
and the world just burning
everyone running around crazy
with drama
and he grabs your hand
and walks you through it
on a path that has no bumps
then you relize your not walkin at all
your still in bed hugging
its been four hours
and hes still there
hours which passsed like seconds,
trailing off into a dusty bed of memories.
eyes heavy,
breath steady,
hearts beating..
the superficial veil of a world
melts away under the blankets.
and your eyes closed now,
holding tighter to one another
you hear nothing
except his heart beat with yours
beating as one
and you feel something
greater than any feeling in the world
the feeling of knowing your wanted
your needed
something more powerful than hate,
and deeper than lust
something that cant be bought or made
someting that had to be shared
something thats pure
and never touched
your almost scared
its almost too much
its overwhelming
but you listen,
and you flow along
with the cadence of the moment
like two parts of a song coming together
void when played alone,
together create music like no other
create an emotion
running deep within your veins
lost in a moment
looking in your eyes


i need your drug to live
you need to heal my addiction
Loving and the caring for that person
that you experience.
Their pains become yours, their joys are shared.
routine days become void without their smile
are empty without their kiss like a drug
like i need you to be sane
to be normal to feel right
you feel not real with out them
like your in a movie
like everythings just fake
and your living your days
waiting for them to return to the way they were
and every one is on fast forward
and you cant keep up
your falling down,
falling behind, everythings moving forward
as you regress
your slowing, and the worlds moving faster
spinning with no regards to you
and you need your drug,
you need you toxins to get by
like some one has erased only half of you
form the paper
you look down and you cant see your body
cuz he was you
taking what they wanted,
and leaving bewhind an empty shell
washed up on the shore
waiting till you gave them everything,
to take it all.. and leave you empty handed
building you up to let you fall so fast
your hurt is seen by all
a once hidden fear comes crying all too loudly
bleeding through your ears
like all the wasted time
and all the wasted words
all the night with out sleep cryin for him
something he'll never even hear
a cry heard only to those who have loved and lost
those who can embody you,
and feel your breaking heart
whove tasted the bitter salts of deciet
the tempting fireds of desire
and the sweet of sudden romance
but your too scared to tell them
so you put on a mask to hide for a while
a day at most so ppl will believe
that your fine
and can go on
your living your days alone,
when in a crowd of people
trusting no one
feeling empty in a room of smiling faces
decieving faces
the faces blurr,
and you cant see very well,
you dont know whats real
and what youve conceived inside your mind
what you want to believe
and whats really in front of you
you start to trip over your own feet
and right when your about to hit the ground
his hand grabs you pick you up
brush you off and walk away
in a haze you wave goobye
but as you do
some one new, fresh, comes up
and grabs his hand
the one you once held on to in the rain
and he smiles the same way he smiled for you
for her
and your whole world goes black
suddenly he hits the pause button,
and holds my breaking heart in his hands
im frozen in this moment,
and i see an icey stare
that hovers over your expression
some sort of want some sort of need,
if you want to leave then go,
what tie holds you back here?
something must have called you,
something must have tempted you
did you see it in her?
did you feel it when you kissed her?
or did you see my eyes?
did you feel my skin
when you touched through taste
he came back for that moment
to let you know that he has moved on
and slowly puts your heart back on the ground
wet and slowly beating, not normal
does he not feel?
how could he turn you off like a tv
he has to know what feelings you felt
and how strong they were
your world slows down,
then suddening reverses,
you watch the words on the screen,
seeing your tears played out in movie form..
your rewound back trailing through time,
and suddenly its stops.
Loving and the caring for that person
that you experience.
Their pains become yours,
their joys are shared.
and again i need your drug to live
you need to feed my addiction..

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 26 September :: 9.52pm

everythings down the drain..

i love him...

i had the worst night of my life onm saturday...

everyone is fake, and i knew it all along.. but i guess i just forgive too easily.. im easily duped.. and im an idiot for even believeing that ppl can change..

we havent seen eachother in going on 3 days and its not that much but from going from being together everyday it sucks.. when all i do is shit i dont wanna be doing and i just think about if hes even thinking of me.. he didnt even call me back today like he said he would..

i wandered around in the rain..

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 20 September :: 3.19pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: grateful dead

this is the story of a girl....
-1. midol is like crack. end of story.

-2. we will never be too old for sleepovers.

-3. gossip isnt a sin. its an art.

-4. we arent ashamed to cry.

-5. we must go to the bathroom in groups

-6. we have this thing called feelings. dont hurt them.

-7. we dont wake up looking pretty. it takes time and effort.

-8. sometimes is just never quite enough.

-9. we need girls nights OFTEN.

-10. we hold grudges and we never forget the things you say to us that hurt.

-11. it doesnt matter who dumped who or why. whenever we see an ex with another girl, it always bothers us. not because were not over you, but because we know we used to be that girl. and it tears us apart to see you move on

-12. makeup can hide so many things, like puffy eyes from crying to huge scars from a broken heart

-13. never ever ask a girl what she weighs; or imply anything about her weight being too much or too little. just don`t do it.

-14. NEVERRR ask a girl if shes being so bitchy cause of PMS...cause other things annoy us...duh

-15. we tell our friends everything about you, so be careful because whatever you say or do can be used against you

-16. as much as we say we didnt like u that much...we did

-17. girls notice every little thing so be careful what you say and do

-18. our eyes are located in our heads. not our chest or butt. when
youre not looking in our eyes, WE KN0W.

-19. we get a feeling in our gut when things are wrong (seriously true)

-20. sometimes we trust you because we want to even when we know you are lying, and it hurts

-21. if you say "i love you" to us, we think you are telling the truth 100%, once you stop saying i love you we get this feeling you don't feel the same anymore

-22. never sweet talk with a girl and then drop her in an instant after a week, our hearts aren't meant to be broken

-23. if you say your gonna call, call. if you don't, we'll take it as a sign that your busy with some other girl.

-24. we say i love you and mean it. we want you to say it back too, so don't waste your time with us if you don't feel the same way

-25. if you want to hang out with a girl, ask her to hang out. don't wait for her to ask

-26. every girl wakes up wanting to be swept off her feet by a boy who is willing to take the time to do that. what are you waiting for? get up & do something

-27. if you want a girl, get her

-28. not every girl wants "just a boy to hook up with", we all want serious relationships.

-29. don't let the girl be the first to IM you or call you, we get annoying after a while.

-30. we like to buy silly presents for you which shows we are thinking of you.

-31. if a girl says 'im fine dont worry about it', she either wants you to hold on to her during a hug or say i'm here for you, always know that.

-32. when you look into our eyes, show feelings

-33. if you love someone, show it. if you got something good, never let go. the minute you let someone out of your reach, she'll be with some other boy and your chance will be over. don't hurt our feelings, broken hearts are the worst thing you can do to us. if you care about someone, tell her.

-34. never tell a girl 'you just want to be friends', it never works out that way

-35. one night stands are the worst, don't try to get into a girls pants for one day, that sucks

-36. when we think we are in love, we start to listen to love songs and then put them as our away messages. we arent afraid to show the world we care about you, it would be sweet if you did the same to us

-37. hold a girls hand if she wants to hold your hand, kiss a girl in front of your friends. cuddle with us, cuddling is ..2 in a relationship

-38. trust is ..1, don't lose trust in us

-39. faith, always believe that things will work out in the end, never promise us forever because forever never works, but promise us you will love us as long as you can. please

-40. we really do love you even if sometimes we have our sucky days where everything in the world goes wrong. we just want someone to care about us at the end of the day

-41. call us to say goodnight, not too late though, girls can be cranky when they are woken up

-42. don't cancel our plans together to go 'chill with the guys', that is totally uncalled for.

-43. if we give you the silent treatment, you obviously did something wrong.

-44. i love you is the sweetest thing you can say to us

if you agree. repost and make the subject " the truth about girls"

if you agree repost this with (THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT GIRLS)

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:: 2005 16 September :: 11.37pm

so i havent updated in a long time.. school sucks like i dont think ive ever hated school this much.. but i hate it and i dont wanna be there.. but i decided what i wanna do with my life in a more realistic manner.. ill go to college for production and then produce myself ;-)

well i feel so amazed by having what i want.. i love it and i love being with him.. and its all so overwhelming

we fight every second but i wouldnt trade it for the world.. i love getting mad at him and then making up 5 seconds later..


write more later

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:: 2005 28 August :: 11.20am

well.. scott left for college the 26th.. i havent updated in weeks.. cuz uh nothing really interesting has ben happening.. i guess i am alot happier now.. hm...

and uh i guesss thats it..

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 22 August :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: *Better Together- Jack Johnson*


summer 2005 in a nutshell. amazing kids, amazing trip. hectic, intense love I have for DOR L DOR 2005.. always & forever

dor l dor 2k5 lets keep these memories alive...<3
its always better when we're together **CAs 2005**

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 14 August :: 10.28pm

damn did i fucking miss you or whattttttttttttttttt

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:: 2005 1 August :: 12.29pm

hmmmm well i had a horrible day yesterday and i didnt feel better until i finally got fucking high with dana thank god.. humph shit is getting fucked it feels like back in fucking school.. god damn i dont want to go back i hate it here i hate natick i hate this life..


you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 30 July :: 2.48pm

i miss your arms around...

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 25 July :: 5.11pm

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sooo maine was fucking awesome :-) it makes me never want to come home to shitty natick ever again cuz its 50 million times betterrrrrrrrrrr ahh it was great jimmi had his own cabin so me dana and jimmi slept there lol jimmi got his own damn room lol and me and dana had to sleep on the damn pullout couch with a whole in the bottom lol but it was fun i went swimming in sebago lake "laid" on the docks stared at the stars wished ona shooting star.. roasted marshmellows n made smores.. drank some arbor mist with nancy and had girly conversations while paul was dressing dana with knives and guns to be a pirate lol i relaxed and just had a well needed stress relieving vacation away from natick.. "you are now ever maine: the way life should be"


everyday is sadly the same
im waking up empty im feeling insane
your arms are around me but its like your not there
cuz you dont even love me, no you dont even care

if i turned to you and told you id stay
would you take me with you when you ran away?
when you left the life you hated here
when your done with the bad news the drugs and the beer

sip me baby itll all go away
ill kiss your sweet lips and then maybe youll stay
[i just wanna be your drug
cuz there goes another day..]

the time is wasted here in this town
try and speed up but you end up slowing down
you never said what you really wanted
silence speaks louder and its still haunting me

will you ever miss me will you need my touch
when your hands on the stick shift and your foots on the clutch
when your speeding away spewing sand in my eyes
will it hurt you to hold me as we say our goodbyes?


i, i just wanna be your drug
something you could rely on
i, i just wanna be your drug
something you need
but my days are wasted

you better fucking comment!!


:: 2005 22 July :: 1.13pm

Sometimes this beauty is choking me
but at least its your hands at my throat
Your lashes brush against my cheek
coupled with your breath on my neck
The world around you falls away and I will still be there
I know my words are like daggers but they cut me too
And I am sorry for all the fucked up things I say I didn't mean it
And I never realized that I can be what I hate
Lets be happy with what we have, enjoy the beauty in these days
Sometimes we'll laugh sometimes we'll scream no one said caring was easy
I know there was a time when emotions felt like pulling teeth
Sometimes I felt so souless I couldn't even look at me
It's pathetic to hate who you are and it feels like hell to change
But I'll be damned if I push you away
I remember when my dreams were dying
and I damned the sun, I damned the sun to pieces
I carved hateful thoughts into my chest
then you took my hand and nothing, no nothing has ever felt the same

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