random rambles, religiousish and otherwise
Have you every wondered what God was thinking? I mean, have you ever thought He was on the right track but just missing the mark? I mean, I KNOW, with the utmost certainty that His vision and timing are perfect. But, that whole free will thing makes me question..."what the heck?" I mean - he gave me a precious gift and I love it - but, MY logic tells me that it could be even better. Is that I am wrong or is it that irony is God's sense of humor? Is He having a chuckle at my perpetual banging of my head against a brick wall? Not that I'd blame Him at all...it's pretty sad that I can't seem to learn. =)

On the other side of that coin...Satan is REALLY GOOD at his job. He is the Donald Trump, Bill Gates and creators of Google and of Facebook of EVIL. I want to be able to parry, thrust and block his attacks – somehow I always seem to lose the battle – good thing I know that I’ve already won the war! My psyche is SO easily penetrated – don’t like it one little bit! He certainly knows my weak spot. Grrr! So completely maddening!

I miss my Grandpa Strecker...quite a lot actually. He was my first grandparent to die and he was (shhhh...) my favorite. We were so close - and he was such a Godly man - for all that he fought against it for a really long time!! I wish he were here to talk to and to meet the people I hold most dear. **sigh**

I'm hoping this rambling has cured the distraction that I've been feeling all morning. It's so hard to concentrate on work. I'm so frustrated about the current state of Scott's show...the missing link as it were. I mean, I know it has nothing to do with me...but (enter Satan) it sure feels like it...like theatre is imitating life. One of my lines in the show is "That's not just true in the theatre, it's true in life." Well, this situation is not only true in life - it's true in the theatre - and it is REALLY hard not to take it personally - even though, again, it has nothing to do with me. I'm not really that scary and repulsive, am I? *sigh* NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME! Good, bad or otherwise - this is NOT ABOUT ME! (Is it working? Am I feeling any better about the whole thing?)
I AM excited about the accent - although now I am having trouble getting it just right - not too thick but not so thin that I lose it! GRR!
**BIG SIGH**

Delirium…what a sweet state of being. Only one thing could have made last night better - and that thing gives supporting evidence to the concepts of "never" and "impossible" - so, it doesn’t serve to dwell on it. =)

Magical, marvelous, mellifluous, masterful...
The music.
The moments.
The man.

...just as it should have been...a perfect night...now safely tucked away in the snowglobe of my imagination...turn it upside down... shake it...view it through the fluffy flakes...and listen to the music...

...and, yes, I can die happy. =D

angst
I'm really tired of feeling like a big angry zit on the face of society.
Frick. Piss. Bugger all.

**ahhhhh...that feels better**

Facts...followed by Faith...followed by Feeling
Please note: This was previously posted on Facebook so some of you may have read it already - but I couldn't delete it completely because I like it.
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Okay, raise your hands...who here, besides me, tends to let their feelings be the rudder that steers their life?

In ALPHA class on Sunday, Nicky, the originator and facilitator of the series, in talking about being a Christian, said we need to, "Keep our eyes on the facts and not constantly be looking at our feelings." Talk about God 'laying the smack down' on me! WOW! Nicky used an analogy of three people walking, one behind the other, along a river...Facts are in front, followed by Faith and Feelings bringing up the rear. If Faith keeps its eyes on the Facts, it will keep on course, if it turns to look at Feelings, however, it will lose its way (and maybe fall in the river). If Faith follows the Facts, Feelings will follow as they should.

Amazingly enough, this not only applies to our personal relationship, as Christians, with Jesus. It works with other relationships too. Okay, another hand raising opportunity....how many of you have moments of insecurity about your closest relationships...friends, spouses, lovers, etc...? Now - think is your Faith in that person/relationship following Fact or Feeling?

Another thing Nicky said was that Faith = putting your trust in another person (or God) and that it is a choice that we make. I once had a youth pastor who told me that "Love is a choice." He was saying that true love isn't all romance and feeling - though that can be a lovely part of it, depending on the particular relationship - but ultimately, we choose to love someone, bascially, in spite of ourselves - our preconceived notions, our pet-peeves, etc...

So...when your Feelings get the best of your Faith, here are the Facts to follow:

Spiritual: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16 (NIV)

Personal: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

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This message was such a wake-up call for me...both spiritually and personally. My Faith - my trust - was following some very fleeting feelings and forgetting about the Facts...about the Love...Fortunately, this love is of the choosing kind, the 1 Corinthians kind...and it didn't fail. =D

remembering WDW
Do you ever get so caught up in the here and now that you forget some of the most magical moments in your life? I've often thought it silly that people get so emotional over pictures - like when they lose them in a fire or something. Today, I pulled out the album that Jamie and Emily made for me of our times together during my last few months at Disney - which happened to be concurrent with the release of "Lilo & Stitch." Omigosh - talk about a "Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride" - I was surfing the pipeline of memories and emotions and hangin' 10.
From Courtyard Clue, to chasing down penny press machines in the middle of the night after accidentally discovering the first one at the Contemporary, to eating an entire kitchen sink at Beaches and Cream - and the food fights that went along with it, to staying into the wee hours after work to decorate for "Stitchmas" and the 4th of July, movie nights in Flick's Flat...those were the bomb! to our fountain hand gesture - and I'm just sure there's a noise too - but I can't remember it now...to dancing in the bubbles, bubbles and more bubbles on New Years Eve at the Disco in Playhouse Disney's soundstage (sometimes having connections comes in handy - especially when you love bubbles like I do)....wow...what great memories...then back up to the times at Sid Cahuanga's...and the list just goes on and on...Walt Disney World is truly the most magical place on earth.