2009 28 February :: 3.17 pm
It's on lazy Saturday's like this that my brain really starts to think.
I think about Anna, about what she'll be like as she grows up, about how much she'll hate me when she's a teenager.
I think about Bryan, about whether he'll stick around or not, as bad as that sounds.
I think about me...
About how my life will be five ten years ahead of time.
About how I need to change myself
About what I need to do today and tomorrow and monday.
I think about how my life could have been also. If I had changed that, done this, not done that, stayed away from this person or that.
A barrage of possible outcomes always hits me with dizzying effects.
I could have a job, live in my own place, no baby, no boyfriend to drive me nuts. I could have a car....but then I hear Anna, learning to find her voice, laughing, or I see her smile and I think...maybe this is where I oughta be. I feel like it's where I oughta be. I like being here (For the most part).
Anyways, I found a car that I can get. It's a Bronco!!! Which is my second dream car. And they're only asking in the $900 range for it!! I can actually get a car, not even a car, a man-vehicle, with extra space for groceries, strollers, and baby!! Lol. Its awesome and I want it. And I'm getting enough on my taxes to get it. I just have to wait for that money to roll in....
Ok. Boob-feeding time.
Come on. And then...?
2009 15 February :: 7.44 pm
Bryan: You are beautiful. As radiant as the stars that dance around the cheshire cat's smile.
Sheri: You don't know how much being around you and your mom and even Angie meant to me. It was nice to feel like part of a family again.
Bryan: I'm the root of your stress...Because without meaning to I'm forcing you into a "It's me or your family"situation. God, I am SO sorry!
Sheri: I love you, bitch XD
My reply: Always and forever, jerk.
Sheri: Ummm told her that your boyfriend thinks you and I used him to make a love child for us.
Hidan: A friend of mine once said that penises are scary, they come at you at night and make a bedding in your crotch. So goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedpenis bite.
Josh: Don't forget, my life for your life, my death for your life, my life for your death my death for your death. I still love you.
Katie: The whole world deserves a friend like you. But fuck them cause I found you first.
Come on. And then...?