::
2004 9 November :: 7.25 pm
I just watched Super Size me with Kate, and I swear to God on my life, you will no see me eating the rest of this week. I feel so gross, and I just want to puke.
3 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 9 November :: 9.24 am
ugh I'm such an idiot. I knew I shouldn't have just skipped 2nd hour. Ugh.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 7 November :: 7.13 pm
So today was fun. Me, Kate, Jenny, and the Mom went shopping. It was fun. I got a new cell phone. MY NEW NUMBER IS 648-3771, don't call my old number cos Jess owns that phone now. But we went shopping and i bought some cute shit. But yeah...that's pretty much is , call me on my cell phone :) it'll make me happy
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 3 November :: 1.19 pm
I just ugh somedays I'm just so drained from everything.
I really don't want to get in the middle of anything. That's the worse place to be. I just want everything to be okay, because that's what I'm use too.
So yeah last night was good, I talked to both of them. Friday me and Katie will probably go over there and Sat. I'm sure
I'll hang out with him On sat. and then I 'm gonna hag out with Cass whens he gets back from state
kjdflkajsdflkjasdfkl;asdlkfjaslkdfjaslkdjfalksdfm
Joel's being gay.
Jess
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 1 November :: 5.53 pm
So I checked all my grades today and they're all up there. :) yay! The only classes I was too concerned about were Yearbook and Anatomy, but suprsingly I have a C+ in Anatomy and it'll go up tomorrow after my test, and yearbook I finished my photo project so now I have a 94 which I believe is an A. Bomb, I had an okay day. I was just relaly sleepy, and some ppl were really pissing me off. I hate jerks, I really do. I'm only mean to ppl who are assholes to begin with, I'm never mean to innocent, sweet, nice ppl. It espically pisses me off when ppl are mean to my friends, that just rubs me the wrong way, and saying shit about them and their sanity, ugh strikes a nerve and I honstly almost socked you in the face. No one talks about my friend, or any one of my friend slike that. No one. I don't who the hell you are. You can kiss my ass if you're going to be like that, and if you think you can just get away with being an ass and doing that shit you're Sadly SADLY mistaking, because that's it once you've blown it, you're outta the picture. After all the shit I dealt with last year, NO ONE will walk all over me and get away with it. I hold grudges, and thats it. It's done. People need to learn to keep their God damn mouths shut espically about people they don't even know, let alone what's going on with them.
***********************************God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change those I can,and the wisdom to know the difference*
***********************************
So my birthday is in ten days. Woo I'll be 16 woot woot! lol Wow that's pathetic, and I won't even be able to drive, so I'm going to be depressed. Good thing my brithdays on a Thursday and we have the following Friday off. I'm going to party like mad, have my own party lol :) So you better not forget my Birthday is the 11th of this month! I WILL LOVE ANYONE FOREVER IF THEY GET ME A PUPPY (PREFARBLY A GOLDEN LAB, BUT A PUPPY OF ANY KIND WORKS FOR ME ;) LOL THANX. Get right on that ;)
~Jess
4 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 31 October :: 4.48 pm
So I would do anything for a puppy, even kill someone espically if it was someone that I uh, hate? Prefarably a golden lab, but w/e a puppy is a puppy.
Awww I want one so bad.... :(
3 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 31 October :: 4.41 pm
Surpass your grudges, forget the past, but remember the lessons, hold on to keepers tight, and kick the useless people and storys to the curb.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 31 October :: 12.03 pm
I had the best Halloween I've ever had. Me and Kate went shopping and went all out. Katie and Katie were twins, fluffers ;) and I was the sluttest little hot devil in the world :) lol. So we all got ready over here then we went over to barker's and then up to Rosie's and helped them close and clean up. Then we went back over to Barker's, took off for Emmory's party...I think, the one in Sparta?I SAW JENNA ;) and Jessica and Jeff W was my pimp. He had a red suit and was a devil, so he was my pimp daddy. ;) Which was fun. Then went to Travis's brother's party, back to Emmory's and me and Kate danced on the dance floor like the biggest sluts, but you know..I coudln't help it. I was nuts and out of it and having fun. I really didn't care. It was a good time. Then we went back to Barkers lol and accidentaly left Casey in Sparta lol oops...what can ya do. Noah just went and got him for us. So the whole night was a blast. Couldn't have been any funnier. Besides this morning Amanda Dabaja walks in and sees me and Brent sleeping in his bed together and I'm wearing all his clothes..and nothing was even happening I was just sleeping in a bed and wearing comfy clothes instead of a slutty skirt and I swear I thought she was gonna kick my ass. It's always nice to get McDonalds bags thrown at you and the person your sharing a bed with. Lol oh well what can ya do. Minor Detail lol. I still had a GREATTTT time. I love Halloween!
~Jess
1 comment |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 30 October :: 10.45 am
I need to make up my mind on stuff before I actually say I'm going to do them, or think in my head that's how i really feel.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
If only they knew about what was thought of last night. You'd be so mad too.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 29 October :: 11.47 pm
ughhhhhhhhhhakjdkajkljalkjf are u fucking kidding me?!?!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 29 October :: 1.15 pm
Ugh I'm so mad sooo sooo soo mad. I'm just yelling and screaming inside!I just want to crawl into bed every single night and just die, never fucking wake up and see who the hell would actually give a flying fuck. Every day just becomes worse and worse. The more I try to act happy, it just gets worse because I'm not fucking happy!!! I hate myself, and I hate life....fkasjdfklajs;dlkfja Anatomy was good, and Drama was good. Then I was a bitch. I just don't care!!! But I carea bout that!!! kdjkflkasjdfklajsdklfjklj I swear I'm going to snap. Just one of these times something is going to happena nd I'm going to just emotionally break down and go crazy.
dvlksdjflkasjdfkljasdf
*SCREAMS
5 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 28 October :: 9.47 pm
What the Fuck!?!?! Honestly I am SO fucking sick of people's bullshit! I could just fucking die. I swear it was just three in a row, My mom, and then a friend, and another friend. What the fuck
askdfjakdjflkajkajkljkfjadsf
FUCKING JUST UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Don't do this because one day when we fight like this mom I'm going to do something and you're going to regreat it I swear to God on my life.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 28 October :: 9.08 am
I bet people in our school read my woohu, read other people's woohu's and sit and laugh, think to themselves that I'm the biggest idiot in the world, that I complain constantly, that i have no life worth anything, that i am far too pathetic to even handle my own problems w/out venting to other people about them, and they probably just sit there and hold their head up high thinking they are so much better than me, than all of us sitting here complaining on an online journal. They probably think their a step ahead because they can surpass our expections going long periods of time w/out telling anyone their problems, or that you whoever you are wouldn't tell the world your problems, that you have your life in order and that you are and will continue to be better than me, better than us pathetic woohu people, well all i have to say is fuck you! An online journal is only a bad idea if you're continuelly bashing everyone, and that's only bad if you really care if they get mad or not, most people don't. Chances are myself, that if I write about you on here, then I really couldn't care less if you read it or not. This IS a journal, and it helps me get my rage and craziness out, so if you dont like it, or in some delutional way think that makes you better than I, you can kiss my ass.
I feel like everyone is honestly in their own worlds. I know I am. So many people just aren't happy. With themselves, with their friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, school, sports, I know I'm not. I hate life more than I like it most of the time.
Everyone is just ughhhhhhhhhhh making me so mad. And I know I KNOWWWWWWW it's my fault. I just don't have tolerance. When I need a friend, I need a friend. I'm there for mine.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what was i thinking last night?!?! please tell me what the hell was i thinking....like you would actually care that this meant something to me. you already have something, i have nothing, and yet your still taking things away wether you admit it or not. your so selfish and greedy and sometimes i really cant stand being around you....ughh i just want to yell and scream at you b/c i just dont understand how somebody can be like that. so stuck on themselves in a sad relaly fucked up way.
My life get better, step by step, and I start to be happier, im happy about my, life, friends, school, everything starts to shape up and then it just gets all fucke dup again. I cannot handle it. I'm such a fucking idiot. One minute I'm super hyper and the next I'm just down, sometimes it's about something, and othertimes it's nothing at all. but i can go from dramatically happy to dramatically sad just because of something that someone says to me, ro something that happens, or nothing happening at all. It doesn't matter it just all changes in a split second and i have no control over anything, no grasp over antyhing.
And I try to keep things short and simple so I dont have to go into long detail about all my issues and problems but it doesnt really help me at all. It just makes me feel more like shit. Thanks in large part to this journal because I just hide all my problems here.
-I hate getting up in the morning, because immideatly after I know I have to go to school never knowing what the outcome of my day is going to be. Good or bad, good or bad?!?!
-I hate how I look at you and realize even when I still have hope that one day things can be back to the friendship we had, I know deep down they never will be. You are just far too ....stubborn to even try. To even care.
-I hate knowing every single day that things with my mom, my family just continue to get worse, and never better. That I feel so lonely lately, more than I have ever in my life, and it just doesn't matter to you. You just DO NOT care, and it just keeps crushing me, breaking my heart, shooting my self confidence right down the tubes and yet you continue to just not give a flying fuck. That hurts and one day I hope you see the damage you have done. Because I obviosuly can't make it apparent how torn you make me feel every second, of every day. It's *always* on my mind. Waiting to see what day my parents will really want me, and not just to make things less complicated because they can't live without me. When that day comes I don't know because i don't think it ever will. Your freedom has cost me my happiness and sense of love, and feeling as if I am even worth shit to anyone or anything. Thanks, a whole hell of a lot .
-I hate school because I just canno tmake myself do the things I should. I'm gettin g better, but it's a strugle everyday just to do normal stuff like WANT and MAKING myself do my work, I just can NEVER EVER concentrate, there's always something else on my mind, always something more important, that I just can't shake. And it keeps me from school work, and it keeps me from smiling, from having a life.
-I hate the fact that you didn't call, and that I worry because I didn't talk to you, I hate that you don't care what happens, I hate feeling totally like you just dont even care for me, I hate that you can just go on like nothing ever even happened, i hate that it doesn't bother you, that you dont feel guilty for even one second, and if you do you dont even say so. i hate feeling like maybe i shouldn't do this ever again or say that ever again, because it just might be what turned you away i hate itttttttttt im starting to hate you for making everything I didn't want to happen, come true.
-I hate that im the closest person to you, and vice versa and yet you still turn away. that i cant help you and you think that i dont care when really half the time i care more than you know and i would do anythning for you, anything to make you happy, anything in my power to make all your dreams and happiness come back to you.
-i hate hating myself, because i dont know what will help me feel better what will let me feel for once like a good person. i want to be the person my friends wnat in a friend, i want to be nice, and caring, and fun all the time, i dont want to be a bore to be around and i dont want ppl to hate me
u
u
u
u
u
u
u
u
ug
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
h
HISTORYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ughhhh adjkjdkljfa I ahte school! please someone just hug me GAWD!
2 comment..choose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
::
2004 28 October :: 9.04 am
bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i thought wronggggg
ugh im so sick of this being an up and down emotional rollercoaster. Im sick of riding it.
1 comment |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines.. |
|