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fluttering beats in the dark

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:: 2019 26 March :: 8.01 am

for the night is dark & full of terrors

it's true there and it's true here

are you reaching out

:: 2019 25 March :: 6.54 am
:: Mood: exhausted

said what I needed to say, without being overly cruel about it.. it felt good to get it off my chest. for some reason, though, I didn't feel the sense of resolution I was hoping for afterwards. hopefully it comes later.

have the day off cuz I was going to go to a concert last night, didn't end up going because my spine hates me, but I am still going to keep the day off I think. have secret plans for the Xmas tree (which is still up btw)

I want to repack all my stuff, but it is going to be boring and slow without company (and probably why I did such a shitty job in the first place). want to donate what I can and just pare down my shit. clean my nest of a room... I miss having friends who come over.

I've been bad about yoga. it helped a lot when I was doing it, then I got this new schedule and it's been difficult adjusting. plus I've been eating a lot of dairy and that does not help either.

anyway, I'm happy feeling glad I've got sunshine in a bag I'm useless, but not for long the future is coming on

are you reaching out

:: 2019 21 March :: 6.01 am

I don't feel like your equal I feel like your mom

are you reaching out

:: 2019 19 March :: 9.41 pm

Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness. -Henrik Ibsen

are you reaching out

:: 2019 13 March :: 10.48 am

I just need someone to talk to.
but I'm a shitty broken record no one wants to talk to.

I do honestly think everyone would be better off if I was alone. I already feel so fucking alone.

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