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Die young and save yourself

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:: 2008 9 January :: 11.11 am

I feel...
Like I should step in here every now and again. This place reminds me of much younger times. we're all getting old now aren't we? I'm visiting my parents... my friends gave us a coffee can full of change to help pay for gas for the trip. There was at least 70 dollars in there. Everything is different here. The neighborhoods are surrounded by more strip malls than before, even our house has been remodeled. I'll be back in Philly soon, making art in a new semester and then at work in my hawaiian shirt ordering the produce and telling the customers that we don't carry the edamame anymore.

You can't make me talk!

:: 2005 4 February :: 9.21 am

I dont think that I told anyone that I got deployed for a year. I'm in germany for the next 6 months. I didnt want to leave. I like to think that I was comfortable where I was back in Georgia. I think i might've had good things going for me. Now, i'm homeless again, at least when I get back I will be. Sometimes I get letters from people. People might miss me. It's nice every now and again to hear that you're needed. I need a hug.

12 Spoke | You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 13 November :: 12.25 am

I have to write this somewhere. I don't want to be whiny on my own page. I've been feeling really crappy, and Ive really had no reason to do so as things seem to be going rather swimmingly. But i've finally figured it out. As the time nears for everyone that i've grown up with to graduate from college, I realize that I really wish I was still in school too. I wish I hadn't got screwed, and now when I really want to do something about it, I wish i wasnt stuck in a place where events keep me from enrolling in classes. I think my fear is that everyone else will go have wonderful lives and everything that i'm doing right now won't mean anything to anyone but myself. I had a really great career field too, I was building things, analyzing, drawing, moving, learning. I was using just about every creative itch i ever had. I really just want to bang my head on the wall and make the crap feelings go away. I want someone else to believe in me instead of telling me how I haven't done anything, and how i'll never do anything. What the fuck ever happened to encouragement?

1 Spoke | You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 7 October :: 9.16 pm

I am rather looking forward to this weekend. I remember the last time I went home. I got to see a whole lot of people. This time I dont plan on it being as hectic. I plan on seeing a few people and then relaxing. Maybe going for a drive. Maybe a walk around stone mountain. The weather is getting nice and cool. I should be able to find something to occupy my time.

You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 26 August :: 6.43 pm

I'm falling into the old slump again. I'm not so sure that anyone is a complete person all on their own. Maybe that's my problem.

I wrote that and just sat there and stared at it for 15 minutes. I'm getting on with it now.

I'm going to Hawaii for a couple weeks. I'm not too excited. Sheldon was calling for a while, and then he stopped again. I sent him a happy text last night and he never responded. I hate leaving here because everytime I leave we grow further apart... hell even when i'm here we seem thousands of miles away.

I just wish i had someone. I need someone... I dont want to be so alone, especially when i've gotta pick up and leave everything for iraq. I want someone to miss me when i'm gone. I want to have someone to call and say "I love you". I want to crawl into bed and cry.

3 Spoke | You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 11 August :: 5.47 pm

been a while eh? well i've been away in atlanta for a couple weeks, and I made the WISE decision not to bring my computer. The consequence? I drive an hour and a frigging half to the gwinnett library to use their computers while visiting my parents. It's better I not be distracted from these classes anyway. I'm going to spain again. sept 10. it was a surprise to me. I didnt exactly volunteer for this one, nor was I too psyched when they told me i had to go. I really wanted to get things right with Sheldon. I don't really think he wants to, and the whole thing has my stomach tied up in knots. I havent felt this nervous and sick for at least 7 months. I really should find something to distract me from it, boys, love... altogether. throw myself into working out, or programming, or something... anything. It doesn't help that I keep getting phone calls from boys. Hear that? Boys... don't call.

You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 1 August :: 12.48 am

i've got to go to Atlanta for two weeks to learn how to drive and disassemble more heavy machinery. Luckily I can visit my parents while i'm up there. It's great to have left them on good terms because whenever I come home mom buys me toilet paper for my apartment and junk like that. When i come back i have exactly two weeks here again. Then I leave for two weeks in Hawaii. For work. But hell, there's a beach ON BASE. ROCK. I really wasnt in the mood to travel though, and god knows i've come to hate the drive to ATL. By the time I get there it'll be time for another oil change... and maybe new brake pads, but I think i'll put that off until the next oil change after this one. lalala. Yay for tax free shopping day. I bought 80 bucks of liquor, 60 bucks of clothing, and 100 bucks of CDs. Productive.

You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 17 July :: 10.08 am

Oh I'm back!!! YAY. Yes. That means Teresa finally got cable. It was driving me nuts too because I cant look at this page at work which is still crap if you ask me. In other news, My apartment looks lived in though I dont get to really "live" much. I miss people, I need a boy/man.

I dont have much of an update... just wanted to say hi to the whole two people who still come here to read things. I'm going to a cruise in for my PT on Skidaway. It should be fun if it doesnt rain and maybe i'll get pictures of fun PT cruisers that are better than mine.

You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 5 June :: 7.08 pm

It must be that time of the year...
It seems everyone lately is so encompassed with thoughts of the one that they loved that they're no longer with. Bah, sooner or later we'll all come to our senses.

Only one more day to live through and then i'll be 21! Yay for Teresa. What a crappy way to spend my birthday... hundreds of miles away from everyone I love, and I have to go to work. Oh well.

I just rode a couple miles around on my bike. It was fun.

The end.

2 Spoke | You can't make me talk!

:: 2004 1 June :: 10.48 pm

I am so disappointed. The forces that be on base have decided that woohu is one of those sites that needs to be blocked. so now not only can I NOT check my Yahoo mail... but I can't waste endless hours on here. What the hell am I supposed to do at work?....WORK?!?

I guess it just goes to say that it's popular enough for them to recognize that lots of people are spending more time here than working. But seriously... my morale is suddenly lowered.

I need a break from work anyway. I only got three hours of sleep last night, and worked 15 hours today. It was my day off too... or at least it was supposed to be. I want to spend time at home. I want to sit on my couch. I want to do laundry... I'm running out of underwear...

2 Spoke | You can't make me talk! | Random Journal